We live in an age where traditions have become weaker, rules are not important and anything goes. Sleeping around is not so drastic anymore. Or is it? I have asked many of my male friends what their opinion was on this matter. I was very surprised that 75% of them said that they would rather wait with a girl that they really like, rather than jumping into bed right away with her. Most of them answered: No sex on the first date!
Here are the reasons why the men said “No”:
1. If she sleeps with me on the first date, she probable does that same with all the other men as well. I don’t want to have a girlfriend like that.
2. If you get sex right away, there is nothing left to top it off on the next dates.
3. We are hunters and need a challenge! We want to work for the cookie, and not get it easily right away. There’s no fun or excitement in that.
4. If I really like the girl, then I prefer to get to know her first. This builds up the passion and feelings.
5. This shows she respects herself, and I respect her even more for that.
Wow ladies, now that’s what I call some honest answers. Hope is not completely lost – there are still men out there with a gentleman-like outlook on life that are looking for true love and not just fast sex. This is very encouraging for us!
This brings me to Ambrosia’s story. She met a guy at the gym. He is average height, has dark thick hair and ice-colored blue eyes. He’s been flirting with her for a while now, and two weeks ago he finally made his move and asked her out. She agreed and was quite excited because she was very attracted to him. He took her out for a very nice dinner and show. After they went for drinks and had a perfect evening. She called me from the bathroom and asked if she should take him home with her. My gut feeling told me – No! I advised her to let him walk her to the door, thank him for a wonderful evening, allow him to kiss her, give him a tight hug, smile warmly and go upstairs – alone. She didn’t listen to me and took him home. They drank more upstairs, got drunk and had wild sex. Starting upstairs, the date lost its perfect magical feeling, and was more about the sex. They both enjoyed it very much, but surprise surprise; he didn’t call for days after. He sent her an sms 5 days later, saying he was busy. She summoned up the courage to ask why he was behaving so coldly all of a sudden. No joke, this is what he replied, “Ambrosia, you’re a fun girl, and we had a wild night. But I’m looking for something more serious.” She was shocked. She told him that she also wants something serious, and he said, “Do you do the same thing with every man you go out with on the first night – calling this your serious intention?” Ok I have to admit, the guy seems like a jerk, and used the situation, however it does show that she left a wrong impression on him.
Most men will jump at a chance to sleep with you on the first date, but are willing to wait if they really like you. Sure there are some couples that get together after sex on the first date, and even end up getting married – but the percent is much lower to those that actually take the time to get to know each other first.
Another thing the guys told me was that if he disappears after the first dates without sex and doesn’t stay around to get to know you better, than he was only after the sex. You don’t need such a man always. Ciao and next! Waiting to have sex is a wonderful and natural way of selection to see who is really into you, and who only wants your body for a few nights. Waiting with sex also allows you to build up feelings for the person, which will intensify the first sexual encounter and make it even more phenomenal. Sex with feeling is the best, even on the first time!
I agree with the guys that I interviewed, because in my opinion, I always like to get to know the man before. We live in a world where everything is rushed – and patience is almost nonexistent – so why not work against this system and take the time to get to know this new person in our life? What’s with this insane haste to have sex? Maybe this seems like old-fashioned to you, but why not go back to the courting era where dating actually meant something special, and not just getting into her panties? I see nothing wrong with letting the man romance us first. Going out for dinners and talking into the late night hours – learning to feel for this person, before jumping into bed – is such a nice luxury these days, so why not allow ourselves the time to enjoy this luxury? Most of the men told me that at the beginning, mental stimulation separates the woman who will simply become a sex affair or their next girlfriend. If you’re interested in the man for just a sex fling then go ahead, jump his bones. But for something serious, please take your time. It’s worth the wait and he will respect you even more for it.
