Love, like sex and drugs can become a serious addiction. There’s a simple explanation for this. When you fall in love, your brain releases endorphins, which is the feel-good chemical that is responsible for making you very happy. These wonderful chemicals give us a feeling of euphoria – a natural high! They also suppress hunger, which explains why we are not so hungry when we first fall in love. Eventually the normal daily grind starts, and the love is not so new and thrilling anymore. The rush is gone, or even worse, if the couple breaks up, what happens then? The brain and body desperately want that high again, and this can lead to making bad decisions. Can it be that we are addicted to the “feeling” of love?
Love is very nice to have, but if you are single at the moment, does that mean that you cannot be the happiest that you can ever be? Nothing is certain in life – you might meet your future partner tomorrow, or in one year, but what should you do in the mean time? Sit depressed at home, wishing for someone to hug and kiss you? No, Definitely not! This addiction to the feeling of love is very dangerous for two main reasons:
Reason 1: the brain equates that love = happiness. Meaning, if you have no (romantic) love in your life, then you are not happy. What a horribly depressive thought! Unfortunately this has been so deeply engraved into some people’s minds and hearts, that they cannot eliminate it anymore.
Reason 2: some people will end up taking the next best thing that comes along, in order not to be alone. Why make such a huge compromise and take someone that you know is not good enough for you, simply to have someone beside you? I always say that it’s better to be single than with an idiot.
My friend Heather was a woman that equated her happiness with having a man in her life. If she was single, then her world was not so pink anymore. She had times when she felt sad and lonely, and even slightly depressed. She walked around the city, especially in the cold wintertime, and saw all the couples holding hands, and kissing, and she wanted to have that so desperately. She cried many times to me how much she missed a man and love in her life. After a few years of being single, she realized that she couldn’t wait until the next man came along to finally feel happy again. She had to change her thinking ASAP! Her therapist said that she had to introduce other things into her life, apart from love, which fulfilled her and made her happy. She had to trigger those damn endorphins in a new way, and not depend on the addiction to love anymore! When Heather finally changed her thinking, many people who haven’t seen her in a while asked, “Do you have a new love? You look so relaxed and happy!” she now laughs in return and says, “Since when is having a partner the only thing that dictates a person’s happiness in life?”
Thankfully, there are other things that trigger that “happy feeling” you get when first falling in love. For example:
1. Do a vigorous workout, and your body will be happily exhausted. You will get the “runner’s high” and be completely satisfied after.
2. Eating a bit of dark chocolate during the day does wonders for the feeling of happiness.
3. Take ginseng everyday. It works well to release endorphins.
4. Find reasons to laugh. Watch a funny show or go to a comedy club.
5. Eat something spicy! Chili peppers release endorphins.
6. Shopping helps as well. No need to spend a fortune, but treat yourself to something nice once in a while.
7. Masturbation makes you happy. No partner? No problem! Nothing wrong with grabbing your vibrator, having a nice orgasm to start the day and enhancing your happiness!
8. Hobbies are a great way to spend time with yourself and doing what makes YOU happy.
9. Get your shit done and don’t procrastinate with important things! The less weight and worries you have on your shoulders, the happier you will be!
As you can see, being addicted to love and having your happiness depend on it can be quite dangerous. Take your mind off the need and addiction of “having to have” love, and start taking care of yourself. I know that there are so many things that you could be doing for yourself right now in order to make you feel happy. Life is happening right NOW, and there is no point of thinking of happiness in the future – when you finally have that love again! Live now. Enjoy now – regardless if you have that love in your life or not! The best part is that when you are busy doing those other things, your true love will come and surprise you when you least expect it…