dating

Don’t just text. Call!

Don’t just text. Call! 600 745 Galia Brener
We live in a confusing time where relationships start, develop and end on the smartphone. Having the phone constantly around us is not even the main problem anymore. A much larger issue is that when meeting potential lovers, the preferred way of communication is: texting. Who the hell calls nowadays? Calling each other at the beginning is simply not the standard anymore. Welcome to generation texting. Such a romantic generation!Our phones have become the center of our existence. I myself am guilty of always having my phone in my hand. I have gotten so used to it that I sometimes don’t even realize I’m hanging tightly onto it. This is a strange phenomenon that is too late for us to change because the “phone habit” is so deeply imbedded in us. What’s even more peculiar is the “texting habits” of our time. Today two people meet and will text their brains out until they go out a few times. Either the dating holds for a few more times or they don’t meet anymore, notifying each other via texts that it isn’t working out.My friend Gloria met a guy she liked on Tinder. Belonging to generation texting, they wrote each other back and forth for a few weeks. I asked her why they haven’t spoken on the phone yet, and she said that he doesn’t call her. My advice was to say that she wanted to hear his voice, but she was shy and didn’t suggest it. Sometimes they wrote back and forth for hours each day and on the weekends as well. Why not simply pick up the phone to “say” hello? They finally had their first date and things went well. Of course the communication continued via WhatsApp for the few weeks after that. They kissed and even had sex, but never spoke on the phone. How the hell does that happen? Apparently today, a phone call is more personal than sex. After a month passed by, he was texting her much less, and Gloria felt that something was wrong. He seemed very distant. Eventually he wrote her that he is busy and doesn’t have much time to meet her anymore. To make a long story short, he broke up with her on WhatsApp. Classy move. Bravo.

Quote of the week from my Mama, “Never trust a man that only texts and never calls.”

Mon Dieu. Not a long time ago men would write women love letters, and seal it with their blood and honor! Today we get a smiley without even a nose :) to show us that they are half thinking about us. Why can’t they even attach the minus sign for the nose and at least make it a half decent smiley? ;-) Anyways gentlemen, we are not asking for your blood on a letter or even a nose, but at least a proper phone call now and then to show you care. The voice makes everything so much more personal. You can hear our gentle laugh, and we can enjoy your stories without the embarrassing autocorrect mistakes. Let’s not forget that many misunderstandings occur via texting because sometimes things are misinterpreted. Jokes are taken seriously or the other way around because you cannot hear the intonation of the voice. That’s how meaningless fights also start.

The motto for this year is: Text less and call more. Let’s try to get back to our roots. This goes for both men and women. Call him! Call her! In my opinion, it’s also a respect issue. Texting only is not romantic. I think that it’s lovely to get a quick call from your partner and hear their voice during the day. Or even a nice message on the voice mail if you can’t talk. Let’s try to make a bit more effort to charm our lovers. Even if you sound like Kermit the Frog, we don’t care, hearing your voice makes us happy! Start dialing.

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Is this a date or not?

Is this a date or not? 1354 437 Galia Brener

Have you ever met with someone that you liked, went for dinner, maybe drinks after or even dancing, and at the end of the evening you get a hug and a friendly smile with a quick “thanks” and “bye”. You are left standing there wondering, “What the hell just happened? Was that even a date? Or does s/he only like me as a friend?” Rest assured that you are not alone and this strange confusion happens quite often.

My friend Bill met a girl that he really liked. They “hung out” and always had fun. They did many things together like go to shows, dinners and parties. However, Jessica never kissed him or showed any physical interest in him. They never spoke about romance or sexual things. Bill thought that she simply needs her time. He was falling for her, and was in denial without wanting to face the truth. This kept on going for a few months, and still nothing happened. I told Bill that even an extremely shy girl would have wanted to kiss him after a few months, given that she was interested in him as more than just friends. Slowly he was starting to realize that these were not “romantic” dates! I told him to ask her straightforward, but he didn’t have the courage and didn’t want to risk pushing her out of his life. He did fall in love with her in the process, and unfortunately got hurt after realizing that she only thought of him as a “friend”. This can be avoided if you pay attention to the following signs:

It’s a date:

1. He reserves a table at a restaurant and pays the bill.

2. S/he acts nervous around you on the first few dates.

3. There is some physical contact during the date – slight touching of forearm, elbow, etc. while talking.

4. You feel the chemistry and tension between you, and he wants / tries to kiss you.

5. S/he asks you a lot of questions, and seems genuinely interested in you, and wants to get to know you better. They show interest!

6. They compliment you in a flirty way.

7. S/he sends you a “Thank you and good night” text after the date.

8. He acts very chivalrous and is a gentleman, and tries to positively impress you.

It’s not a date:

1. S/he asks you to go to a group event, and doesn’t pay much attention exclusively to you.

2. If s/he asks you to “hang out”, and you end up doing something non-romantic at all.

3. Spending time with a colleague and talking mostly about work, without personal questions.

4. If s/he talks a lot about a love interest or a person they like.

5. Talks about their friends, and who would be a good match for you. Or gives you tips about dating, the opposite sex, flirting etc.

6. No effort with their physical appearance. No one wears sweat pants on dates.

7. S/he is not flirting or playful with you, and no kiss or physical intimacy.

8. They bring a friend with them.

We live in an era full of confusions, where a date can actually be a non-date, or the person you fell in love with actually thinks you are their best friend, and nowhere near a romantic interest at all. Listen to your gut feeling and pay attention to the other’s body language. You should “feel” if there is romantic tension or not, and never lie to yourself. Never run after someone that doesn’t want you, because that will damage your confidence and self-respect. Make yourself available for someone that sees how wonderful you are, and actually wants to have romantic dates with you!

The best advice I can give you is to be straightforward. Communicate and simply ask them in a cute way, “Are we going on a date?” with a smile while asking. This should never be an embarrassing thing to do! Better to say it straight up and know where you stand, rather than get hurt after, like my friend Bill did. We were born with mouths to speak and ask what we don’t understand. It’s so easy, but unfortunately we make it complicated for ourselves. Guessing games suck too much happiness away from you. Don’t guess, just ask.

13 simple things to make your woman happy

13 simple things to make your woman happy 1354 437 Galia Brener

 

Last week I gave you the men’s 13-point list of happiness. This week I compiled our list, and I am pleased to say that there are many similarities! At the end of the day, we all want happiness and love. Getting the women might seem like the hardest part of the dating game, however that is only a small portion of the battle won. The real challenge is not getting the woman, but rather keeping her happy by your side! Dear men, I’m sure you are sitting with your eyebrows raised and a smirk on your face now, but don’t worry, it’s not as hard as you think – you don’t have to be Hercules or a millionaire to succeed at this.

Let’s make it easy for you to understand and compare this to your car that you love so damn much. Imagine you get your dream car – it’s fast, shiny and new! Every time you see it, a wave of happiness rushes through your body and you can’t get your eyes off your new baby! Driving it is one of the best feelings in world. A few years go by, and you notice dents here and there. The new car smell has long evaporated, the leather interior is not so pristine anymore, and the rims have scratches on them. Your car is getting older, but it’s still your baby and you will take care of it, right? With every 10,000 km you lovingly pat the steering wheel, and thank her for being so good to you. Even if she gets very old and is considered an old-timer, you wont just leave her to rust. Much like beautiful cars, women need proper care and attention as well. If you don’t invest time and effort into taking care of the things you love, then you will lose them.

Dear gentlemen, here is a list of 13 things that you can do to keep your woman very happy:

1. Foreplay – go down on her, make her hot and don’t forget to cuddle afterwards

2. Don’t tell her what to do

3. Accept her as she is

4. Be supportive, strong and courageous

5. Be a good listener – show her that you are loyal and caring

6. Be generous – financially and with your attention, compliments and love

7. Always be honest and faithful

8. Be a gentleman – show respect, good manners and take responsibility

9. Be funny and show your sense of humor

10. Surprises – sweet text messages, flowers, dinner and gifts

11. Stay sexy – don’t let yourself go

12. Show her appreciation, kindness and be forgiving

13. Make plans and commitment for your future together

This reminds me of Gloria’s unfortunate story. She was dating a guy who pretended to be her prince charming at the beginning, and did everything to sweep her off her feet. But as time passed by and the more effort she made, the less he gave back in return. He took her for granted, and this slowly killed the love she felt for him. Towards the end of the relationship, it seemed that he didn’t care much at all and showed his true narcissistic nature. Gloria eventually had enough of his selfish crap and left him. After she was gone, months later he finally realized how much he truly loved and missed her, but it was already too late. His flowers and love letters had no meaning for her anymore. She met a real man who was more than willing to make her very happy! Ladies before falling madly in love, keep your eyes open, and make sure that the man genuinely wants to make you happy because he truly loves you. I don’t want to see any more women suffer like Gloria did.

I know I have listed a lot of things to do, but take your time and do it because you want to and not because you have to. Actions and deeds speak louder than words. Always remember to never take your woman for granted. If you are not good to her, then she will eventually leave, and another man will be very willing to make her happy! Relationships are not always easy, and love can be a real bitch, but if you figure out the formula to make her happy, believe me, she will give you even more in return. Making your woman feel special is not so difficult, and a bit more effort on your part will get you ahead (and even head ;-) and keep your woman feeing very happy. After all, with all of the wonderful things we do for you, we deserve it!

13 simple things to make your man happy

13 simple things to make your man happy 1354 437 Galia Brener

 

I’m glad that I decided to write about this topic, because once again, I realized how easy it is to make men happy. Mon Dieu, they are so much less complicated than us women! It’s incredible how little they need to feel happy and loved. Give your man a blowjob, feed him and give him space to do his things, and he’ll be the happiest creature on Earth! Well, it’s not “quite” as easy as that ladies, but definitely not much more difficult either.

All the men that I have interviewed said more or less the same thing. The answers were very down to earth, and it didn’t seem like anyone needed something strange or appalling to make him happy. It makes me very glad to see that most men are happy with simple and doable actions that any woman can do to make her guy happy. Please note that none of them said they need a woman who works a lot, earns tons of money or buys him expensive gifts. No at all, they need a good woman to listen to them and show that she cares. Ladies if you follow these 13 simple things, you will have a very happy and grateful man by your side:

1. Blowjobs and sex. Don’t forget that men connect intimately and physically.
2. Be supportive.
3. Be a good listener, and show him that you are loyal and care.
4. Give him a massage when he’s tired.
5. Always be honest and truthful.
6. Be funny and show your sense of humor.
7. Give him space for his own things and friends.
8. Be happy and this will make him happy too! Ever hear of the saying “Happy wife, happy life?” It’s true, and your positivity will rub off on him too.
9. Surprises – like a cute note, small present, nice lingerie, and special dinner – cook something delicious for him.
10. Do sports together.
11. Stay sexy – don’t let yourself go.
12. Take interest in his hobby – and offer to do it together.
13. Emotional stability. Men don’t want, need or like drama.

This reminds me of Heather’s story. 5 years ago she met a guy and everything started off so well. The first few months were like living in a dream. They didn’t get out of bed for weeks, and she never had so many orgasms in her entire life before. They did lots of things together and really enjoyed each other’s company. But after the initial “Flowers, sex & chocolate” phase ended, reality set in, and Heather showed her egoistic side. Not only did she stop making herself look pretty when they met, but she stopped her effort all together. She told me that she hardly even had sex with him anymore, and didn’t bother doing small things to make him happy. After almost a year, he gave up as well, and the relationship became horrible. The fights began and the drama was out of control. The insane part was that she still loved him very much, but made no effort! I told her to start doing things to make him happy, but her answer was, “What has he done for me lately?!” It was a pure selfish power struggle between the two, and the end was very near. He was a good man, and Heather really regrets the breakup, crying that she could have done more to make him happy! He really didn’t ask for much, but Heather was unfortunately too selfish at the time to see that.

From my own experience, when a man is happy and gets what he needs from his woman, he is very open, pleased and even eager to give back. A good man will always show his appreciation. He sees, and more importantly feels when a woman really loves him and wants to make him happy. Besides, look at those easy 13 points, they are really not asking for too much. My dear ladies, it’s time for us to give back to our sweethearts and make an effort to keep them happy. The good ones definitely deserve it.

Sex on the first date?

Sex on the first date? 640 250 Galia Brener

We live in an age where traditions have become weaker, rules are not important and anything goes. Sleeping around is not so drastic anymore. Or is it? I have asked many of my male friends what their opinion was on this matter. I was very surprised that 75% of them said that they would rather wait with a girl that they really like, rather than jumping into bed right away with her. Most of them answered: No sex on the first date!

Here are the reasons why the men said “No”:

1. If she sleeps with me on the first date, she probable does that same with all the other men as well. I don’t want to have a girlfriend like that.

2. If you get sex right away, there is nothing left to top it off on the next dates.

3. We are hunters and need a challenge! We want to work for the cookie, and not get it easily right away. There’s no fun or excitement in that.

4. If I really like the girl, then I prefer to get to know her first. This builds up the passion and feelings.

5. This shows she respects herself, and I respect her even more for that.

Wow ladies, now that’s what I call some honest answers. Hope is not completely lost – there are still men out there with a gentleman-like outlook on life that are looking for true love and not just fast sex. This is very encouraging for us!

This brings me to Ambrosia’s story. She met a guy at the gym. He is average height, has dark thick hair and ice-colored blue eyes. He’s been flirting with her for a while now, and two weeks ago he finally made his move and asked her out. She agreed and was quite excited because she was very attracted to him. He took her out for a very nice dinner and show. After they went for drinks and had a perfect evening. She called me from the bathroom and asked if she should take him home with her. My gut feeling told me – No! I advised her to let him walk her to the door, thank him for a wonderful evening, allow him to kiss her, give him a tight hug, smile warmly and go upstairs – alone. She didn’t listen to me and took him home. They drank more upstairs, got drunk and had wild sex. Starting upstairs, the date lost its perfect magical feeling, and was more about the sex. They both enjoyed it very much, but surprise surprise; he didn’t call for days after. He sent her an sms 5 days later, saying he was busy. She summoned up the courage to ask why he was behaving so coldly all of a sudden. No joke, this is what he replied, “Ambrosia, you’re a fun girl, and we had a wild night. But I’m looking for something more serious.” She was shocked. She told him that she also wants something serious, and he said, “Do you do the same thing with every man you go out with on the first night – calling this your serious intention?” Ok I have to admit, the guy seems like a jerk, and used the situation, however it does show that she left a wrong impression on him.

Most men will jump at a chance to sleep with you on the first date, but are willing to wait if they really like you. Sure there are some couples that get together after sex on the first date, and even end up getting married – but the percent is much lower to those that actually take the time to get to know each other first.

Another thing the guys told me was that if he disappears after the first dates without sex and doesn’t stay around to get to know you better, than he was only after the sex. You don’t need such a man always. Ciao and next! Waiting to have sex is a wonderful and natural way of selection to see who is really into you, and who only wants your body for a few nights. Waiting with sex also allows you to build up feelings for the person, which will intensify the first sexual encounter and make it even more phenomenal. Sex with feeling is the best, even on the first time!

I agree with the guys that I interviewed, because in my opinion, I always like to get to know the man before. We live in a world where everything is rushed – and patience is almost nonexistent – so why not work against this system and take the time to get to know this new person in our life? What’s with this insane haste to have sex? Maybe this seems like old-fashioned to you, but why not go back to the courting era where dating actually meant something special, and not just getting into her panties? I see nothing wrong with letting the man romance us first. Going out for dinners and talking into the late night hours – learning to feel for this person, before jumping into bed – is such a nice luxury these days, so why not allow ourselves the time to enjoy this luxury? Most of the men told me that at the beginning, mental stimulation separates the woman who will simply become a sex affair or their next girlfriend. If you’re interested in the man for just a sex fling then go ahead, jump his bones. But for something serious, please take your time. It’s worth the wait and he will respect you even more for it.

Addicted to love!

Addicted to love! 1354 437 Galia Brener

Love, like sex and drugs can become a serious addiction. There’s a simple explanation for this. When you fall in love, your brain releases endorphins, which is the feel-good chemical that is responsible for making you very happy. These wonderful chemicals give us a feeling of euphoria – a natural high! They also suppress hunger, which explains why we are not so hungry when we first fall in love. Eventually the normal daily grind starts, and the love is not so new and thrilling anymore. The rush is gone, or even worse, if the couple breaks up, what happens then? The brain and body desperately want that high again, and this can lead to making bad decisions. Can it be that we are addicted to the “feeling” of love?

Love is very nice to have, but if you are single at the moment, does that mean that you cannot be the happiest that you can ever be? Nothing is certain in life – you might meet your future partner tomorrow, or in one year, but what should you do in the mean time? Sit depressed at home, wishing for someone to hug and kiss you? No, Definitely not! This addiction to the feeling of love is very dangerous for two main reasons:

Reason 1: the brain equates that love = happiness. Meaning, if you have no (romantic) love in your life, then you are not happy. What a horribly depressive thought! Unfortunately this has been so deeply engraved into some people’s minds and hearts, that they cannot eliminate it anymore.

Reason 2: some people will end up taking the next best thing that comes along, in order not to be alone. Why make such a huge compromise and take someone that you know is not good enough for you, simply to have someone beside you? I always say that it’s better to be single than with an idiot.

My friend Heather was a woman that equated her happiness with having a man in her life. If she was single, then her world was not so pink anymore. She had times when she felt sad and lonely, and even slightly depressed. She walked around the city, especially in the cold wintertime, and saw all the couples holding hands, and kissing, and she wanted to have that so desperately. She cried many times to me how much she missed a man and love in her life. After a few years of being single, she realized that she couldn’t wait until the next man came along to finally feel happy again. She had to change her thinking ASAP! Her therapist said that she had to introduce other things into her life, apart from love, which fulfilled her and made her happy. She had to trigger those damn endorphins in a new way, and not depend on the addiction to love anymore! When Heather finally changed her thinking, many people who haven’t seen her in a while asked, “Do you have a new love? You look so relaxed and happy!” she now laughs in return and says, “Since when is having a partner the only thing that dictates a person’s happiness in life?”

Thankfully, there are other things that trigger that “happy feeling” you get when first falling in love. For example:

1. Do a vigorous workout, and your body will be happily exhausted. You will get the “runner’s high” and be completely satisfied after.

2. Eating a bit of dark chocolate during the day does wonders for the feeling of happiness.

3. Take ginseng everyday. It works well to release endorphins.

4. Find reasons to laugh. Watch a funny show or go to a comedy club.

5. Eat something spicy! Chili peppers release endorphins.

6. Shopping helps as well. No need to spend a fortune, but treat yourself to something nice once in a while.

7. Masturbation makes you happy. No partner? No problem! Nothing wrong with grabbing your vibrator, having a nice orgasm to start the day and enhancing your happiness!

8. Hobbies are a great way to spend time with yourself and doing what makes YOU happy.

9. Get your shit done and don’t procrastinate with important things! The less weight and worries you have on your shoulders, the happier you will be!

As you can see, being addicted to love and having your happiness depend on it can be quite dangerous. Take your mind off the need and addiction of “having to have” love, and start taking care of yourself. I know that there are so many things that you could be doing for yourself right now in order to make you feel happy. Life is happening right NOW, and there is no point of thinking of happiness in the future – when you finally have that love again! Live now. Enjoy now – regardless if you have that love in your life or not! The best part is that when you are busy doing those other things, your true love will come and surprise you when you least expect it…

Are you his sex toy or his next girlfriend?

Are you his sex toy or his next girlfriend? 1354 437 Galia Brener
I have received many letters from women asking me how to tell if a guy has long-term intentions for them, or if he’s simply looking for a sex fling? This can be quite tricky because some people are willing to go to any measure, including selling white lies about a happy future together, just to get the girl in bed. I have asked many of my male friends about this, and almost all told me that when they first meet a girl, they can tell within the first hour of talking to her if she will be just a fling, or a future girlfriend. Luckily there are a few hints at the beginning, which let you know and feel if he only wants you for sex, or to be his girlfriend.

My friend Sandy had to learn this the hard way. Half a year ago she met a guy at a bar, and they hit it off quite well. They talked for a while, and ended the evening by kissing, but Sandy went home alone. She didn’t want to rush things and jump into bed with him because she liked him, and didn’t want it to be just about sex. He wasn’t happy that she didn’t want to sleep with him, but she didn’t notice that in her tipsy state. This was on a Wednesday evening, and she was sure that he would call or write on the weekend, but he didn’t. The next week on Tuesday he wrote her, asking to meet on Wednesday. I said that he’s not serious about her, otherwise he would have at least written a short message on the weekend asking how she’s doing. Sandy tried to brush it off by saying he’s probably busy.

They met on Wednesday and had dinner, went for drinks and then she took him home. She told him that she doesn’t want a fling but rather a relationship, and he said, “Sure, that’s what I want to.” They finally had sex, and it was “ok”, but nothing earth-shattering or mind blowing. Still, Sandy was lusting for him, and his smell played havoc with her brain. He was smart enough, but not the most intelligent man for deep conversations, so the dates were not the best ones she had. However, he “teased” her of a future together, also mentioning holidays and places he wanted to visit with her. His extremely attractive “outer shell” hooked her as well. The next morning he left, and this time she didn’t hear from him for almost an entire week. This was horrible for her because they had sex for the first time together. She wrote him a sweet sms, and it took him days to answer! I told her that this is just sex for him, and he’s not serious about her. She refused to listen to me. This fling lasted for 3 months of them seeing each other once a week, never on the weekends, and not getting closer emotionally at all. Sandy became sad and tired of his ways, and told him that this was not going anywhere. And guess what? He didn’t even try to keep her. He just let her go and she never heard from him again. She later found out that he had many other girls, with whom he was doing the same thing at the same time.

Here are two lists to show you the difference of what he really wants from you:

If he wants you only for sex or a fling:

1. He will text you only when he needs to fill his time once or twice a week, or is feeling hot and horny and needs a release. He keeps the communication to a minimum, only enough to keep you hooked and get sex from you.

2. When you meet him, you feel that your time together is very limited.

3. After a date you never know if that’s the last time you see him. He doesn’t make short-term or long-term plans with you.

4. Even if you say no, he still pushes too much to have sex with you when you’re making out.

5. He doesn’t take you along to places and evenings with his friends and family. You don’t get integrated into his life.

6. If you have problems, he doesn’t offer to help, and doesn’t really seem interested in your issues. He might even change the topic of conversation, or react inadequately to something that bothers you. If you’re sick, he tells you to get better and meet after you’re healthy again.

7. He does everything only for his convenience, and goes only where he wants. If he doesn’t like a place or event you mention, he won’t go there, even if he knows that it would make you happy.

8. He speaks mostly about himself, his life, his hobbies and his passions. He doesn’t ask you much about you and your life. He doesn’t care to ask about your friends and family.

9. When going out together, his eyes will be darting all over the place, looking at other women.

If he wants you to be his girlfriend:

1. He will write and call to see how you are doing – usually everyday, or every second day – because he cares and wants to stay in contact with you. He writes longer sentences, because he wants to keep a strong and constant communication with you.

2. He makes enough time to see you and be with you, because he wants to have you by his side.

3. Even during the date, he’s already mentioning the next time you meet, what you could do together, what you can see or experience together. He’s thinking long-term with you.

4. When you’re making out and you say no to sex, he’s a gentleman and doesn’t push you for more. He respects your wishes because he wants to keep you by his side.

5. He takes you to meet his friends, and also to meet his family. He’s proud to have you with him.

6. He listens carefully if you tell him about a problem you’re having, and offers his help right away. If you’re sick, he will bring you chicken soup. He’s there for you and cares about you.

7. Even if he hates the opera, street fests, or a certain party, restaurant or bar, he will go there with you because he knows that you like it, and it will make you happy.

8. He’s interested in your life, and asks many questions about you, your passions and goals in life. He’s interested about your family and friends, and wants to integrate himself into your life.

9. He will have eyes only for you, and you wont see him constantly looking at other women.

Ladies, I know how hard it is to admit to ourselves that the guy we like is not serious about us, but if you’re not honest with yourself, you will get hurt like my friend Sandy did. Open your eyes and hearts, and see what he really wants from. The best is to ask him what his intentions are for you. Straightforward communication is always important. If he’s lying, like in Sandy’s case, then you have to figure it out for yourself. We are women, and have a strong intuition. Let’s be honest, we feel and know right away what the man truly wants from us. But we lie to ourselves thinking that we can make him see our inner beauty and fall in love with us, and this is how we get hurt. So next time please keep your antennae up to see what he really wants from you. If you’re looking for a boyfriend, then make sure to follow my second list, and see if he behaves accordingly! Don’t allow yourself to be used sexually and emotionally, because you deserve better than that. You deserve real love.

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