Galia Brener

I remember when I was a teenager in Toronto, my girlfriends and I had our first fake IDs made to get into clubs and parties. We couldn’t wait until our 18th birthday, and tried everything to look older. Make-up, higher heels, and sophisticated clothing. Now we are double that age, and try to do everything to look younger. Funny thing that we use the same tricks to try and turn back the aging-clock: Make-up, higher heels, and sophisticated clothing. Why did we not realize how amazing it was to be young and enjoy our childhood? Why did we always want to be older?

Society expects us to be responsible. Grow up fast, get an education, find a partner, have children, take care of them, get old, retire and die. So when do we actually have the chance to live out our dreams, and have fun? As a child you are not aware of the freedom that you have. You simply grow and become an adult. Well my dear adults, now that you are finally “there”, it’s time to reverse the process, start believing in Fairytales again, and awaken your inner child. Yes, s/he is still in there, but most likely has been sleeping for the last decades. Let’s wake it up, and see what new adventures the world has to offer us!

A common problem is that people are scared to be judged by society. What will people say if they see me like this? This reminds me of a date that I had a few years ago. I met a guy at an event in Frankfurt. Let’s call him “Mr. Cool”. On our first date, we went for a nice summer walk. Along the way, I saw a fun playground. I don’t know what has gotten into me, but I ran towards it, and decided to climb the monkey bars, run on the overhead ladder, go on the swings… you get the point. I ran around acting like a crazy kid. I glanced at Mr. Cool, and I cannot even describe the look he gave me. A mix of “Jesus-what-the-hell-are-you-doing-get-off-that-swing-immediately!” and “I-don’t-know-this-crazy-girl-she-is-such-a-weirdo” look. To be honest, at that moment I didn’t even care what the ice block Mr. Cool was thinking about me, because I was having so much fun. He came to me, and I thought that he will finally join me on the swing, but instead he said, “Galia, stop it! This is embarrassing! I am a famous actor (He is indeed a well-known German actor), what will people think of me when they see me making a fool of myself on this playground?” Right at that point, I realized that it will never work out between us. Money and fame aside, if the guy cannot be easy-going and appreciate the simple joys in life, then he is not for me. Fun is not just eating at expensive restaurants, but also doing silly things like jumping on a swing together. I politely walked with him back to where we met, said goodbye, smiled, and left as quickly as possible. Why do some people take themselves so seriously? Do we really have to stick to these rigid “Adult behavior rules”, or can we sometimes let our inner child out to play? Mr. Cool called the next day to invite me to dinner, but I told him that my heart was not in it. I could not pretend to be someone that I’m not. I was looking for the one that would climb the monkey bars with me, laughing and being crazy together like children.

That is not to say that we have to ignore our responsibilities, quite the contrary! We have to enjoy ourselves and have fun while achieving our goals and tasks. When you do something with a happy heart, your task becomes a pleasure, and the result will be better. For example, if you are cleaning your car, draw funny figures on the dirty window, and send a picture of it to your loved one. If you have to clean your flat, put on some loud music and run around the house doing funny dances, while cleaning. Do what you can to make the task more fun. I know that daily stress due to work and personal issues can bring a huge amount of pressure upon us, but we must try to do our best to make this process easier for us. Being hard on yourself will not make the problems go away. You must give your “Adult-self” a chance to rest and rethink how you can ease the pressure with a good strategy. Try doing something fun, different, childish and funny in order to bring your mind to positive thoughts. Maybe then, new problem-solving ideas will come to you! The easiest way to begin is by smiling more often.

The older I get, the more I realize how special the time was when I was a child. Free of worries, free of fear, free to live and enjoy! It’s time to bring back the innocence, joy and pure form of fun. Purity. The world is missing this. We need to go back to the basics before we had the car, the mortgage, and the debts. We have to try to capture that feeling of pure joy that we once felt as children. There is much evil and hatred out there. Just turn on the news. Every day another catastrophe. Let’s try to be children of light, instead of darkness. You can enjoy by doing the simplest of things. Remember how excited we used to be when walking with our parents in the forest, looking for mushrooms? Or making homemade cookies with our grandmother, and eating them with our friends? Try to capture this feeling again.

Maybe these few ideas can help: look at photos of your childhood, play board games, take walks around fun places, go to an amusement park, throw out the “cool” attitude/personality, and be who you are, live more in the present, sing funny songs, draw, paint (even if you cant do it well!) be curious, ask questions, daydream, try doing the things you loved to do as a kid, play video games, and most important of all, never say “I’m too old”. The child within you is waiting to come out and play. So go ahead, be silly. No one is watching! And if they do, who cares?

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Scenario: You are at a party. Someone says something, and you add your opinion to it. As soon as the words come out of your mouth, people look strangely at you… and you feel like such a weird nerd. Sounds familiar? If no, then you are damn lucky! For those that answered yes, and feel in general that they have always been different, then these written words are for you.

I would like to introduce myself again. My name is Galia Brener, and in school people called me “Pepperoni pizza”. I had horrible acne. Grotesque pimples decorated my face, chest and back. I used to cover half of my face with my hair, and walk around like “Cousin It”. I still have scars on my face and chest. Up until a few years ago, I would conceal this with heavy makeup, but now, I just don’t give a damn anymore. Too many years of crying for nothing!

You feel/think that: You are overweight? You have acne? You are too short? Too tall? Too skinny? Not smart or pretty enough? You feel like an alien alone on this planet because you’re different? Don’t worry, you are not alone. Listen to Pepperoni Pizza’s advice: Who cares what the others say or think. BE WHO YOU ARE, and be proud of it! “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” That’s my favorite Oscar Wilde quote. In a strange and cool way, you are unique and perfect exactly as you are! Walk with your head high, and a smile on your face.

These insecurities take lots of joy and happiness away from us. For the first 20 years of my life I felt terrible about my face. Eventually, I got so sick and tired of hiding behind my hair and makeup. Those are just “illusions”. Even through the makeup, one could see the scars and acne. And even through the baggy long clothing, one can see your full curvy (beautiful!) body. So how long are we going to hide behind these “protectors”? And is this really protecting us, or making our insecurities worse? One day I said to myself, enough with this damn crap, and decided to simply be who I am. I cut the hair away from my face, threw out my heavy studio makeup, and had my first normal walk outside.

My friend “Honey” is a European size 44, and is drop-dead gorgeous! She dated a man that treated her very badly. He always called her fat. Finally she had the courage to banish him out of her life. She was depressed, and ate chocolate day and night to comfort her soul. Being a good friend, I ate the kilos of chocolate with her, while crying and laughing together. After we both gained one more clothing size, we decided to go to a party. Honey saw a tall, handsome, olive-skinned man with eyes as bright as the Jaguar XKR-S French Racing Blue color! He is a well-known basketball star (Let’s call him J). She fell in love at first sight! Later on, he approached her with a glass of wine, and they spent the rest of the evening chatting. Today they are still happy together. Sadly, Honey continues with her diets. She looses and gains weight, but J never cares about it. He loves her for who she is. The only person that cares about the weight is Honey herself. That’s a damn shame, because she is curvy and beautiful, but doesn’t see or feel it.

So who really notices your imperfections? YOU! You are your worst enemy. Just like I was mine. I hated my pimples, so I squeeze them. Unfortunately that made them even worse! It was disgusting and awful. I was trapped in my own dark hell inside of my head. What helped me later was to acknowledge and concentrate on my strengths! Are you good at art, cooking, sports, singing, etc? If so, spend more time doing these things, and less time criticizing yourself. Do not constantly talk about your flaws with others. Instead, mention your good traits!

Here are a few steps that helped me to overcome my insecurity issues. 1: Ignore non-constructive insults, judgments and criticism about you and your body. 2: Let go of past garbage. Simply let it leave your mind and heart. 3: Don’t always try to please others. If they don’t like you after you tried to be good to them, then it’s their problem! 4: Avoid negative people. Keep them out of your life! 5: Stop your negative thoughts. As soon as they start, block them by thinking of something completely different. Don’t give such destructive thoughts a chance to upset you! 6: Be who you are. Stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t copy others. If you like odd clothing, then wear them. If you want to skip and hop instead of walk, then do it. Don’t care whatsoever what people think. As long as you are not hurting anyone, then you are ok. 7: Attack your worries and fears. Face them head-on! I hated going out into the sunlight with my acne because everyone could see it. I spent my days at home after school, like a damn vampire. So sad and pathetic. Enough! Face your fears! Buy that sexy dress, even if you feel that you are too curvy for it. Just do it, and wear it with pride! 8: Learn to love yourself. You are the only one that can heal yourself. Be good to yourself, respect yourself, and believe me, everyone else will as well! Show others how you want to be treated. 9: Set goals for yourself, and when you achieve them, reward and treat yourself. 10: Become more positive in your thoughts and actions. Be happy! Once you feel strong inside, please help others to get to such a wonderful place as well. Look outside at what is happening in this world. We are there to help each other. But before we can do so, we must start by helping ourselves. I wish you lots of good luck, strength and energy for your mission. Everything will be ok!

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Thank God it’s the bloody weekend, and you’re having drinks with your best buddy. After a few Geripptes glasses at your friendly neighborhood apple wine dealer, he starts telling you a heart wrenching story about Ms. X. We all know this “Ms. X” – there are many of them all over the world. She’s the one that will walk into your life, have her fun, empty your wallet, rip your heart out of your body, and will magically disappear when she feels like it. Leaving you empty and bitter against all womankind. Sorry Dear, you have just been played by a Bad Girl!

They exist, and they are evil! Not only do they shatter hearts, but they also shatter a man’s opinion of women. Once bitten by a Bad Girl, the poison seeps deep into the body, and takes over the brain. Slowly it changes the man and turns him into a Bad Boy as well. Then, there is an uncontrollable desire for revenge. It’s a curse that has been passed on from millennium to millennium. It’s even worse than it’s cousin the Vampire – because at least Vampires still have feelings. No, the Bad Girl and Boy are more evil than that – they are merciless, and they will tear your soul out with their bare hands, and eat your heart alive. You have been warned!

An acquaintance of mine, let’s call him “Yold”, is one of the worst Bad Boys in Frankfurt. I know his stories about how many women he hurt. I constantly try to persuade him to change his ways, but unfortunately he doesn’t! Last week he broke up with his latest passion. She is a beautiful, kind, intelligent, generous, warm and sweet woman. I wished that finally he would settle with her. But of course, like with all the others, Yold broke her heart into tiny pieces and discarded her for the next one. I know that deep inside, he is not bad. The tragedy is that long ago, when he was still a young nerd, a Bad Girl came into his life, played him, and crushed his manhood and ego. Since then, he swore that no women would ever get that deep into his heart again. The Bad Girl damaged him, and now he is taking revenge on all other women.

What attracts Good Guys to Bad Girls, like flies to dirt? Let’s play Prince Charming: It’s a natural instinct to feel the need to rescue a woman in distress. You see the Bad Girl, and feel that you can give her what she’s missing. The problem is that she will take and take. Once your life energy and bank account are empty, she will find the next fool to suck dry! Excuse the pun. She will never appreciate it. Instead, open up your eyes, and see how many wonderful, kind, lovely, beautiful, warm, and genuine women are in need of a true Prince Charming! These Good Girls will appreciate everything that you have to offer. They will be loyal and loving partners in life. They will go through the good and bad with you, be there when the sun shines, and stay when it becomes dark. These warm women will listen to your fears and sorrows. Don’t you want to have a happy, wonderful life full of true love? The problem is that you associate “Good” with “Boring”. That’s a damn shame.

Wild, exciting, crazy sex: You are addicted to her body like an expensive, illegal drug. She controls your mind and fantasies. With a lick of her tongue, she can send you to the gates of heaven and back! You become a slave to her seduction and passion. She screams your name, while tearing up the sheets on her 8th orgasm. You feel like a Sex God. You are Hercules, and your ego has never felt better! But after the sex is over, she picks up her purse and walks out of your life. Then she decides to come back and walk all over you again. Why do you allow these Bad Girls to do this to you? Good Girls can be tigers in bed as well, but the problem is that you do not even give them a fair chance to show you this. You judge the book by the cover, and put it away in your basement before even reading it. Then you wonder why these women you choose are such bitches! Why? Because you fall for the wrong ones!

Excitement and challenge: The rush of not knowing what will happen next! Every evening with these Bad Girls is like an adventure to the dark side and back. She makes your heart beat faster, and the blood rush through your veins. Wake up! She does the same with you and 69 other men. You’re not the only one, and you never will be. That’s what you like don’t you? You want to tame that wild beast. You want to be the hunter that managed to catch the Bad Girl and turn her into an obedient wife and mother. But the funny thing is that even if you “do” manage to do that, you will get bored so fast, and soon be drooling over the next Bad Girl. Stop torturing yourself. You will never change her, she is damaged goods. She is selfish and cruel, and cares only about herself. Leave that Bad Girl to her own kind. Let her deal with her archenemy Mr. Bad Boy. But the problem is that he doesn’t want her. He goes after the Good Girls, and ruins them for life. It’s sick.

It’s a never-ending cycle. Bad ones turn the Good ones into Bad ones! It’s about time for this viscous circle to stop. Men, open your eyes to the bigger and better things in life. Examine your priorities. Do you want to end up old and alone, without anyone there to make you a cup of tea in order to warm up your shriveling body? What about having your best friend beside you, that one person that you can share your secrets, fantasies and wishes with? WAKE UP and realize what you are wasting your time on! I am sure that you have a good lovely female friend that would enrich you with her true love. But instead, you buy the monster-from-hell a beautiful 2-carat Tiffany’s engagement ring. Well, sorry buddy, that’s your own damn problem. Rest assured that in a few years you will be spending thousands of Euros on a good therapist because your monster has been sleeping with your best friend for the past year. You wanted a Bad Girl? Congratulations, you got one! But happiness will never be part of the package with her. It’s time to be smart gentlemen. It’s time to go out there and find yourselves a proper Good Girl!

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I love this city, but let’s face it, Frankfurt is a big bedroom. Let me put it this way, if there was a social media platform called “Sexbook”, then all of the Frankfurters would somehow be connected to each other. For those of you smiling right now, you know that’s how it really is. For those thinking, “I didn’t sleep with that many people!”… Well dear, even if you only slept with one Frankfurt guy, be assured that he slept with at least a handful of Frankfurt girls before you – and from there, the numbers just multiply. x10, 100? After all, we are the financial city of numbers!

Remember the story of Claudia and that low-life-banker-farmer-man, Mr. Cutlery? Yes, he was the one that lied to her, promising her a beautiful future together, only to get her into bed. But that’s not all ladies and gentlemen. Apparently Mr. Cutlery also slept with Claudia’s best friend’s roommate – during the same timeframe – knowing that the girls are friends! Our pal Karma is always on the lookout for such dirty characters. Mr. Cutlery is a miserable and depressed man. From a young age growing up at the farm, all he ever wanted was to be loved. He didn’t get this love. Now this empty man roams the streets of Frankfurt, manipulating women into sleeping with him. Poor Mr. Cutlery. Let’s all pray for him.

Expectations. They are a killer. If not met, one can get drowned by dreadful feelings of disappointment and sadness. Why do we do this to ourselves? Isn’t it better to simply not expect anything, and let ourselves be surprised when something good happens? Wouldn’t this save us tears and pain? This reminds me of Jilli’s story. She met a tall lawyer at the Schwedlersee. Let’s call him “Mr. Whitey.” At first, he was a charming gentleman. They met a few times, and spent hours talking and laughing. However, the disgusting Mr. Whitey had a plan set up all along! One evening, he took Jilli to a charity event on a boat. All was well, and then… BOOM! His ex girlfriend showed up in their group. Mr. Whitey “forgot” to mention that he took Jilli with him just to make his ex jealous, because he was still after her love. Jilli was simply used as bait! What a filthy degenerate jerk! It was awful, and Jilli couldn’t get off the bloody boat! Swimming in the Main was looking better and better with every minute! Finally they docked, and Mr. Whitey lied to Jilli that he lost his keys, and couldn’t get into his flat. She felt sorry for this poor bastard, and let him sleep on the couch. Of course he tried his luck, but Jilli didn’t even give him a millisecond of a chance! In the morning, this moron “miraculously” found his keys in a “hole” in his pocket. Later on, Jilli heard from an acquaintance that – surprise surprise – also dated him, that he has problems in the “performance” department – I guess Ms. Karma has paid a visit to him already.

I saved the best for last. I was invited to a house party of a fabulous Frankfurt girl that everyone loves. She has a heart of gold, and is very kind. Let’s call her “Beauty.” We were sitting in the kitchen, drinking Prosecco and laughing. The doorbell rang, and a few of her friends came in. All of a sudden, Beauty’s face lost its color. Along with the others, a guy that doesn’t deserve to own a proper name, walked into her flat with a strange woman. We all know him as the local communication design conception hip hop psychopath, named after an action hero’s inferior partner. I will call him Can. (Short for garbage can!) Beauty was shocked because they had slept together a few months ago! However, she showed her maturity and let him into her flat. I knew their story. We decided to let the past die and enjoy the evening. After a while, nobody saw Can and that strange alien woman anymore. We searched everywhere for him. We went to her bedroom, and the door was locked. Beauty felt a shiver run down her spine. She pushed the door open… and hell broke loose! She saw Can having sex with the alien woman on her bed! The same bed they were together in a few months ago! Can saw her and jumped in the air, scratching his boiled Frankfurter Würstchen on the edge of the bed! What a scene. I was in shock! The alien was screaming naked on the bed looking for her panties, Beauty was hysteric, Can was running through the flat naked on his way out, and everyone at the party just froze in time – like a scene out of the matrix, except without red or blue pills – just high on good old Frankfurt drama. That’s not all boys and girls. Can ran away naked, and forgot his alien on the bed. She was crying the entire river Main on Beauty’s bed. Of course Beauty didn’t have the heart to throw her out because this poor little alien was young, and didn’t know what a lowlife Can really is. An hour later, as this catastrophe was discussed, it turned out that 3 other women in the party were sleeping with Can – during the same week! And not one knew about the other! He lured them in with nice talk and false expectations! Can knows that he is a cowardly parasite, so he decided to leave Frankfurt in shame and ridicule. It turned out that long ago, a girl hurt his feelings, and damaged his soul for the rest of his life. Poor Can, nobody ever truly loved him, and no one ever will. What a harsh reality that must be for him!

The common factor in all 3 stories is that these men were also victims of their expectations for the love they didn’t receive in the past. Look how this damaged them! The Bad Boys of FFM keep on recycling the women, and these poor girls usually do not know when they are falling into the trap. Why? Because of expectations. Maybe he’s a good one? Maybe he’s the one? I would suggest to go into such encounters keeping in mind the “SEXpectations!” Best is to take it slow and get to know him before. A few extra dates without lovemaking wont hurt you, but might save you weeks of heartache after. Now, are you ready to step into the world’s largest bedroom?… I dare you!

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