Scenario: You are at a party. Someone says something, and you add your opinion to it. As soon as the words come out of your mouth, people look strangely at you… and you feel like such a weird nerd. Sounds familiar? If no, then you are damn lucky! For those that answered yes, and feel in general that they have always been different, then these written words are for you.
I would like to introduce myself again. My name is Galia Brener, and in school people called me “Pepperoni pizza”. I had horrible acne. Grotesque pimples decorated my face, chest and back. I used to cover half of my face with my hair, and walk around like “Cousin It”. I still have scars on my face and chest. Up until a few years ago, I would conceal this with heavy makeup, but now, I just don’t give a damn anymore. Too many years of crying for nothing!
You feel/think that: You are overweight? You have acne? You are too short? Too tall? Too skinny? Not smart or pretty enough? You feel like an alien alone on this planet because you’re different? Don’t worry, you are not alone. Listen to Pepperoni Pizza’s advice: Who cares what the others say or think. BE WHO YOU ARE, and be proud of it! “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” That’s my favorite Oscar Wilde quote. In a strange and cool way, you are unique and perfect exactly as you are! Walk with your head high, and a smile on your face.
These insecurities take lots of joy and happiness away from us. For the first 20 years of my life I felt terrible about my face. Eventually, I got so sick and tired of hiding behind my hair and makeup. Those are just “illusions”. Even through the makeup, one could see the scars and acne. And even through the baggy long clothing, one can see your full curvy (beautiful!) body. So how long are we going to hide behind these “protectors”? And is this really protecting us, or making our insecurities worse? One day I said to myself, enough with this damn crap, and decided to simply be who I am. I cut the hair away from my face, threw out my heavy studio makeup, and had my first normal walk outside.
My friend “Honey” is a European size 44, and is drop-dead gorgeous! She dated a man that treated her very badly. He always called her fat. Finally she had the courage to banish him out of her life. She was depressed, and ate chocolate day and night to comfort her soul. Being a good friend, I ate the kilos of chocolate with her, while crying and laughing together. After we both gained one more clothing size, we decided to go to a party. Honey saw a tall, handsome, olive-skinned man with eyes as bright as the Jaguar XKR-S French Racing Blue color! He is a well-known basketball star (Let’s call him J). She fell in love at first sight! Later on, he approached her with a glass of wine, and they spent the rest of the evening chatting. Today they are still happy together. Sadly, Honey continues with her diets. She looses and gains weight, but J never cares about it. He loves her for who she is. The only person that cares about the weight is Honey herself. That’s a damn shame, because she is curvy and beautiful, but doesn’t see or feel it.
So who really notices your imperfections? YOU! You are your worst enemy. Just like I was mine. I hated my pimples, so I squeeze them. Unfortunately that made them even worse! It was disgusting and awful. I was trapped in my own dark hell inside of my head. What helped me later was to acknowledge and concentrate on my strengths! Are you good at art, cooking, sports, singing, etc? If so, spend more time doing these things, and less time criticizing yourself. Do not constantly talk about your flaws with others. Instead, mention your good traits!
Here are a few steps that helped me to overcome my insecurity issues. 1: Ignore non-constructive insults, judgments and criticism about you and your body. 2: Let go of past garbage. Simply let it leave your mind and heart. 3: Don’t always try to please others. If they don’t like you after you tried to be good to them, then it’s their problem! 4: Avoid negative people. Keep them out of your life! 5: Stop your negative thoughts. As soon as they start, block them by thinking of something completely different. Don’t give such destructive thoughts a chance to upset you! 6: Be who you are. Stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t copy others. If you like odd clothing, then wear them. If you want to skip and hop instead of walk, then do it. Don’t care whatsoever what people think. As long as you are not hurting anyone, then you are ok. 7: Attack your worries and fears. Face them head-on! I hated going out into the sunlight with my acne because everyone could see it. I spent my days at home after school, like a damn vampire. So sad and pathetic. Enough! Face your fears! Buy that sexy dress, even if you feel that you are too curvy for it. Just do it, and wear it with pride! 8: Learn to love yourself. You are the only one that can heal yourself. Be good to yourself, respect yourself, and believe me, everyone else will as well! Show others how you want to be treated. 9: Set goals for yourself, and when you achieve them, reward and treat yourself. 10: Become more positive in your thoughts and actions. Be happy! Once you feel strong inside, please help others to get to such a wonderful place as well. Look outside at what is happening in this world. We are there to help each other. But before we can do so, we must start by helping ourselves. I wish you lots of good luck, strength and energy for your mission. Everything will be ok!