Philosophy of Life

Galia Brener
February 26, 2016
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Are you dating the right person?

Are you dating the right person? https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Peter-Kaiser_2.jpg 1080 530 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g February 26, 2016 November 4, 2016

I think that Love is female. She’s a bitchy princess that does what she wants, when she wants it, and how she wants it. She doesn’t like to play fair and never follows any rules. She can be extremely selfish and not give a damn about anyone else but herself. Until this day, no one was able to create a formula on how to control this wild vamp – Lady Love. She does only what she wants and nobody can force her… especially not to stay where she doesn’t want to!

Lady Love did not visit my good friend, Heather Klein, when she met a guy a few months ago. It was a warm summer afternoon, and we all went out with the mission of finding delicious food and exotic drinks. Spontaneously a friend had tickets to a food tasting event, and of course, I couldn’t resist. Delicious food is my huge passion! We dressed up casually, and made our way into our adventurous Saturday, not knowing what shall await us. We arrived, and the first thing that caught my eyes and nose were the delicious dry-aged steaks being prepared on the grill. After a few cocktails, I saw Heather speaking to a guy she just met. He was about 1,80 meters tall, had thick dark hair, and friendly bright eyes. He seemed very charming and both enjoyed the conversation.

Heather started dating the guy, and during the first few weeks, they spent a lot of time together. She told me that everything was going well. However, in the weeks that followed, I could see that Heather was losing her enthusiasm about him. She told me that “the spark” was not there – there was no magic. I could understand her, however from the things that I heard about him, he was a good catch. He was a caring, intelligent, respectful gentleman, came from a good family background, had a stable job, and was open for a serious commitment. He was warm and cuddly, yet she was bored with him. She agreed to give it a few more weeks and see what happened, but the feelings did not develop.

Looking at it the other way around, it is quite painful when you are falling in love and the other person does not feel the same way. I have been there before myself and it’s awful! You try and try, and it just doesn’t work out how you want it to. It makes you doubt yourself, and feel very insecure. It sometimes goes as far as making you change, and not be yourself, just so that s/he might like you more.

Here are some signs that you might be dating the wrong person:

1: You are the one that is always giving and s/he is taking.

2: You make all of the plans, all the time – they make no effort.

3: You are unsure about how s/he feels about you, therefore you ask often for reassurance.

4: Your partner does not mention a future together.

5: You are mostly the one that calls, writes and contacts him/her.

6: You feel that you’re the only one working on the relationship. You cannot force it, because both must be willing to work on it.

7: You are using guilt and manipulation for making them stay. This is a miserable feeling, because you are ready to hurt yourself emotionally and physically just to keep them in your life.

8: Even though s/he keeps breaking your trust over and over again, you forgive them.

9: You have unhealthy feelings of extreme jealously and intense fear of losing your partner.

I ask myself, can love be manipulated? Of course it can be tempered with. But do you really want someone to stay together with you only due to your manipulations? That would mean that they don’t truly love you for you. Love must be genuine from both sides. Unrequited love is extremely painful. My advice would be to let the wrong person go and make yourself available for someone that fits you better. Yes, it will hurt like hell at the beginning, but then you have a chance to meet someone that truly loves you! Wouldn’t that be so wonderful?

I have learned through my experiences that if someone wants to be with you, they will find a way to do so. They will move mountains and swim through an ocean to see you. There will be no excuses of being busy, or sick with a rare disease that he contracted when the aliens abducted him last week and took him to see Yoda. There will be no bullshit. If the feelings are there, you will know and feel it. Let’s be honest, we know when the other person is not feeling the same for us. So why give so much love and attention to someone who doesn’t even feel and appreciate it? Or even worse, to someone who does not want you or your love? Send them back to their hallucinated aliens, pick up your dignity off the ground, and walk proudly into your future. Don’t force what’s not meant to be, and if it is meant to be, it will happen anyways. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right person, but it’s definitely worth the wait, so please be patient and keep the faith.

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Photo by: Polina Brener

Shoes by: PETER KAISER

Galia Brener
February 23, 2016
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Jean Paul Gaultier & Galia Brener on RTL

Jean Paul Gaultier & Galia Brener on RTL https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/GaliJPG_collage.jpg 1200 1200 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g February 23, 2016 December 23, 2018

Thank you dear Jens Prewo of RTL for this lovely interview and making me your number 1 in the countdown!

#fashion #style #JeanPaulGaultier #LotharMatthäus #Galiabrener #YesNoMaybe #Galiainaction

Does Jean Paul Gaultier believe in true love? ♥

Galia Brener
February 14, 2016
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Valentine’s Day on RTL with Galia Brener

Valentine’s Day on RTL with Galia Brener https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Gallery_cover_photo.jpg 398 395 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g February 14, 2016 November 4, 2016

Thank you dear Lisa Marie Siewert and RTL for the funny and nice interview! To all my friends, family and readers, I wish you a wonderful Valentine’s Day full of happiness, good health and love! Don’t be shy to show your emotions and feelings. Life is short – live now and don’t regret later! Hugs, Gali <3 Please excuse the horrible German! ;-)

Read the article here: https://www.galiabrener.com/valentines-day-for-couples-and-singles/

Behind the scenes photos:

Galia Brener
February 12, 2016
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Valentine’s Day shooting for RTL

Valentine’s Day shooting for RTL https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/RTL_video_Feb_2016_2.jpg 822 545 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g February 12, 2016 November 4, 2016

Thank you dear Lisa Marie Siewert from RTL for the funny and nice interview! If you are curious what I said about Valentine’s Day – watch it Friday Feb. 12th at 6pm on RTL Hessen <3

If you are curious about my Valentine’s Day tip for lovers and singles, take a look at my article: https://www.galiabrener.com/valentines-day-for-couples-and-singles/

Behind the scenes photos and shooting done at the Steigenberger Frankfurter Hof.

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Galia Brener
February 12, 2016
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Valentine’s Day: For couples and singles!

Valentine’s Day: For couples and singles! https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Valentines_Day_2016.jpg 822 545 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g February 12, 2016 November 4, 2016

Dear friends and readers, yesterday I gave an interview to the German television station RTL about Valentine’s Day. I was asked why I think that Valentine’s Day is so important for couples. Of course there are many reasons for that, which I will mention below. However I also brought up the point that Valentine’s Day is not only for couples. In fact, Valentine’s Day can be enjoyed and celebrated being single as well!

We live in a really fast-paced society, where feelings and emotions are often hidden on the inside and are suppressed as well! People are scared to get hurt and therefore they are not so quick with letting their true feelings show. Some people are naturally a little bit colder with their feeling than others. That’s where Valentine’s Day becomes so valuable. I know that it’s actually just one day out of the year, and some people make a totally big deal out of it, but I agree with them. This is the one day where it’s ALL ABOUT LOVE! This is a day where being cheesy and corny is ok. When showing feelings and emotions is considered cute. I know that some feminists would kill me when they read this, but this is a day where it’s ok to be an old-fashioned girly woman who is soft, feminine and vulnerable. This is a day where you can actually bake a cake for your love with his name written in pink hearts and glitter, and they won’t think that you’re a psycho manga freak. This is a day for love, when emotions are celebrated and given without regret!

I’m sure that with the daily grind and everyday life at work, romance in relationships becomes routine and almost all together forgotten. So thankfully good old V-Day comes a bit over a month after Christmas and New Years, when the holiday stress is over and there is a nice chance to find the path back to each other again. Let’s call it a mini jumpstart to spark up the romance again. I recommend to really take the initiative and plan something über romantic for that day. Maybe a dinner in a nice restaurant, with your hand-written love letter set in front of your partner as a surprise. Or maybe baking a cake naked together and laughing like wild teenagers. Or surprise your man at home with your new lingerie that you bought especially for this day. Maybe a small trip to a romantic city or even a song that you wrote specially for her. The presents must not be expensive, but they must be directly from the heart – to show how much you care. Nothing can be too cheesy on his day! Written poems, a surprise engagement ring, an old photo from your first date in a silver frame, or just cuddling, kissing, movies and love making in bed all day! If you have liked someone for a long time and they don’t know about it, this is also a good day to tell them how you really feel about them! You never know, maybe they feel the same way about you. It’s a day to connect and reconnect.

Single on Valentine’s Day? That’s great too! Since this is a day for love – this doesn’t only include romantic love! Why not go for dinner with your best friend and exchange cards that you have written for each other, or small little presents to show how much you cherish your friendship? In fact you can also bake that same cake (maybe not naked? ;-) with your BFF and have fun decorating and eating it together. I have also been know to invite my parents to dinner on Valentine’s Day and tell them how much I love them and am thankful for everything they have done for me! Or even take the time out with your siblings or anyone that means a lot to you. The great thing about Valentine’s Day is that you don’t have to be lonely just because you’re single! This is a day to show gratitude to those in your life that you love, respect and are thankful to have around.

Valentine’s Day is about sharing the most valuable thing that you have with the one you love. And what is this valuable thing? It’s your time! You are giving your love and time on this special day to the person who matters a lot to you! Therefore it’s important to cherish this time you have together – because not everything is infinite. You are here now, so enjoy it now.

Last but not least, I always say that it would be great to make Valentine’s Day a tradition at least once every month to show your loved one how much they mean to you. Why only limit your display of love, attention and affection to February 14^th? Life is not that super long my dear friends. Give your love. Show your feelings. Tell them how you feel. Do the things that are important now, so that you don’t regret later for not doing it – sometimes later it too late. Have a happy, healthy, loving, fun, exciting and passionate Valentine’s Day dear friends and readers! <3

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Galia Brener
February 5, 2016
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Ego kills love!

Ego kills love! https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Photo-28.04.15-20-36-51.jpg 960 960 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g February 5, 2016 November 4, 2016

Hello, my name is Ego, and I am here to destroy your relationships. I am your best friend, and in fact, I am you! Let me teach you our rules: you better damn know that we are always right! They hurt us, so we must punish them by becoming distant, cold, and letting them suffer. Let’s stay mad, and not talk to them for a few days, see how they feel about that! That will teach them a big lesson, and make them crawl back to us, begging for forgiveness. I am the best, smartest, most intelligent, fantastic thing that exists. I am the EGO after all! My way of doing things is always the best. Everyone must do things my way, because I am a control freak! I must warn you about our enemy “Love”. Being your ego, I want what’s best for you. I take care of you, and make sure you are always protected against the enemy. Love is very tricky. Love always wants me to listen to the other side of the story, and also admit when I am wrong! Can you believe it?! Love requires a strange thing called “compromising”. It’s totally beneath me. I do not do compromising since my opinion is the right one, why should I agree with anyone else? They must only agree with me! If Love doesn’t understand that, then she can drown herself in the toilet. I will be happy to push the handle and watch her flush down, where she belongs. My name is EGO, and I am the only one who truly cares about you. I want the best for you! I adore always saying “I”, since “I” am the center of the Universe!

Sounds funny right? Unfortunately, that’s what happens in the minds of most people, including yours. Maybe not to such a drastic extent, but everyone’s Ego has gotten in the way of their happiness, at least once in their lives.

My friend Cindy told me a story about her boyfriend. They loved each other very much. Unfortunately after a few months, both started having problems with their jobs. This stressed them out, and made them fight. They had long talks, and Cindy realized what her mistakes were. She wanted to compromise and make the necessary steps to heal the relationship. She loved him more than the air she breathed. He continued to be cold and distant, even though she made such a huge effort to come towards him, and understand him. She opened her heart to him, and explained why these problems occurred, because she waned them to find a path together for the future. Cindy managed to step over her ego, and did all she could to save the relationship. His mistakes also created problems and fights, but he wouldn’t admit it. With horror, she realized, “How can a man suddenly turn off his love and emotions towards her, when he supposedly loved her so much?” And then the bitter truth struck her. He never did truly love her. A man that genuinely loves his woman is happy when she wants to make compromises, and save the relationship. Everyone is different when entering a relationship, and only compromises can save true love. Throwing something away is quite easy. His ego and pride were standing in his way. He couldn’t see beyond, and it made him weak. Due to this, he lost the person that loved him more than anyone ever did or will. He will realize this as time goes by, when sadness and regret settle deep in his broken heart. By then, it will be too late.

To be able to “truly” love, you must drop the ego. The Ego knows no difference between male or female. We all have this evil inside of us. The Ego sticks its wicked claws into the person, controls them, and usually ruins their loves and lives. It must be controlled and not given any power! For example feeling jealousy, or feeling the need to argue with your partner until s/he admits that you are right. These fights usually occur about minor issues, and during times of stress. You might think that the other is taking advantage of you, and your point of view is less important then theirs. My advice to you is, don’t sweat the small stuff, simply let it go! You cannot always be right. What helps is resisting the temptation to always feel the need to defend yourself. This is actually the Ego defending itself. The Ego will win the argument, but you can lose your partner. Think about it, is this situation worth losing your loved one?

After this initial reaction to a fight, there is sometimes a need to continue punishing the partner. He hurt you, and therefore must pay the price for this. You give him/her the silent treatment, creating mountains of distance between you two. Who will write or call first? How long will you continue to treat your partner this way after the argument? Until the love completely dies? Actually, you are also hurting yourself in the process of this unnecessary harsh treatment.

You must learn to agree to disagree! Learn to compromise! After arguments, the Ego will always try to trick you with doubts, fear, self-defence, re-thinking/evaluating the relationship, thinking “This doesn’t make me happy anymore, I need to protect myself and get out now!” The cold brutal rationality kills any feeling of love that you both established before. There will be fights once in a while, but you must be ready to let the issue go, or not only give blame, but also take blame upon yourself. Even Soul Mates are challenged with fights, in order to determine if their love for each other is real and strong. Be brave and tame your Ego. Build your own inner strength! This will not humiliate you, quite the opposite actually, this will make you strong and brave! How much longer do you want to be a slave to your Ego? If you are not willing to adjust to each other and work together on your relationship, then do yourself and your heart a favor, do not fall in love at all.

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Galia Brener
January 29, 2016
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Break your dating pattern – try something new!

Break your dating pattern – try something new! https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/GB_smaller.jpg 841 1065 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g January 29, 2016 November 4, 2016

I have a confession to make. When I go to my favorite Thai restaurant, I order my favorite appetizer, with my favorite main dish, and drink my favorite juice. It’s been like that for the last two years. I always order the same thing, over and over again. Subconsciously I’m convinced that my “favorite” thing is also the “best” thing for me, but is this really true? Can it be that we are dating like Thai food orders, and always choosing the same “type” of person to date?

Why do I choose this same pattern? I order the same dish because I know that it will always taste good. The taste does not vary much, so I know that I will always be satisfied. Last week as I was standing in line to place my order, a small mischievous devil popped upon my right shoulder and whispered into my ear, “Galia, come on, be wild and order something new for once! It’s so damn boring!” Of course I was waiting for the lovely mini angel to pop upon my left shoulder and present a counter argument, but mysteriously, it did not! I thought, what the hell, I’ll live a little and be daring. I ordered a completely different exotic thing. I sat in anticipation to walk on the wild side, and waited for my meal. It finally arrived. The smell was magnificent, and the taste was even better! I was pleasantly surprised that there exists an even better option than my beloved Pad Thai, which I have been eating for years!

What stopped me from “ordering” something different, was the doubt and fear that something else might not taste as good as what I’m used to, which would lead to disappointment. Then the little voice in the head would say, “You see? You should have taken what you know would be good!” But without risking something new, you cannot encounter different tastes, experiences and pleasures in life. Similar to liking the same foods, we are also the same dating victims. We are so used to dating the same types, and also getting hurt in a similar pattern, that for us it has become almost “normal”! I only know a few friends that date completely random type of men and women, but most are drawn to the same character. We are restricting ourselves with our pattern of similar choices. I think it’s time to order something completely different on the “dating menu”, and enjoy the exquisite, unique taste and adventures!

My friend Gloria is the perfect example for this. Ever since I could remember, she was attracted to the bad boys. She called them the heartbreakers that she hated to love, and loved to hate. They didn’t look alike, but they had one major thing in common, they all hurt her. These men shared a certain kind of mystery and nonchalant attitude that kept her coming back. They were all creative types, with the same clothing style and designer flats, with pseudo intellectual friends, and a desperate desire to be alternatively cool. It was as if she was dating the same man over and over again. The last advertising agency owner she dated traded her in for younger tall brunette with big blue eyes, and other big things. Gloria felt humiliated and devastated! It was finally time for an immediate change.

A few weeks later, she went to Gibson with her best girlfriend, and had a fabulous evening there. They were drinking delicious cocktails, dancing and chatting with friends. As Gloria went to the bar to order drinks, a guy on her right side smiled and said hello. She smiled back, but was not interested in him. He was definitely not her type, but they continued talking while the drinks were being made. He was actually quite funny, and made her laugh. As she was leaving, he asked for her number. She hesitated, but her friend gave it to him. He was half a head shorter than her, soft around the belly, came from a conservative family, and was a banker with a funny and easy-going attitude. He was the exact opposite of all her ex boyfriends! She avoided him for a while, but he did not give up, until finally they met. The date was nice, and she felt like she could be herself with him. It took her some time to open and warm up to him. However, one date turned into more dates, which turned into a long-term relationship, which now turned into a fabulous engagement party. She has never been happier in her life!

Gloria is smart. She realized that something had to change if she wanted to be happy. Most of us are responsible for our own happiness or miseries because of the partner we choose and stay with. A good friend of mine once told me “Galia, it’s up to us to choose well for our future.” If you see that your dating pattern is bad for you, then make an immediate change! Take your friends to a completely different bar, in another city part that you usually hang out in, with different music and new people. Do something you don’t usually do on the weekends. Go out and try new things. New galleries, museums, gym, book or food stores, etc. You need a change of scene and environment. Break away from the old chain that constantly gets your into emotional trouble. It’s time to stop eating the same Pad Thai! Why not choose your next love be a completely different character than you are normally used to? You might be very surprised, and find your true love and happiness with someone that is grateful and appreciative to have you! After all, don’t you deserve the very best?