happiness

Ciao 2016, please leave us already! Welcome to the new beautiful 2017!
Ciao 2016, please leave us already! Welcome to the new beautiful 2017! 1280 1687 Galia Brener

You’ve had your Christmas fun, and now for the few days before the New Year starts, it’s time to get down to business. What is such an urgent task that cannot wait until next year, you ask? The task is the one and only “Me-Inventory”. It sounds quite simple, but actually it can get deep and dirty, with truths exposed and shocking things revealed. But since we are tough guys and gals, and I’m sure that you can handle it, I will share my secret with you. At the end of each year, I make a thorough inventory of my life for that year – from top to bottom, not overlooking any gruesome details. At the end, I see what I have achieved, learned, and what I can do much better next year. This helps me grow as a woman, as a person, and also helps to increase success. However, you must be completely honest with yourself, or else this won’t work for you. So my lovelies, let’s start!

1. Achievements: Let’s start with the nice stuff! This was a damn long year, for some a horrible one, and for others a positive one. But for many, 2016 was a year for the fighting spirit – the Samurai among us. Think back to all of the great things you achieved this year. This includes a new career, having a loving relationship, building your first house, having a child, getting married, overcoming addictions, or whatever wonderful thing you achieved this year, take some time to honor it. Anyone who achieved anything important in 2016 deserves to celebrate, because this bitch of a year was a difficult astrological one, and hence you deserve double recognition for it. You must praise yourself for your success, and feel proud of what you did. I made it a ritual to buy myself a present at the end of the year to celebrate my achievements. Spoiling yourself once in a while is very important, because it helps to remind you of accomplishments and appreciate your own worth.

2. Screw-ups: let’s be honest, we are no angels. I can think back and list a few mistakes I made this year, and so can you. This is where it gets hard because we don’t usually like to admit our mistakes, especially to ourselves! But since you’re brave, and a new year is starting, push yourself to do it. Think back. Have you hurt someone? Played, cheated, stole, backstabbed, told lies, broke hearts and promises, acted disrespectfully or cruelly? Maybe it is yourself that you hurt with something like a bad habit, or allowing others to treat you badly? Maybe you let something slip away that you regret? Send your ego to hell for a moment, and really open yourself up and remember the mistakes you made. Try to acknowledge the wrongs that you did, and see if there is a chance to set things right again. If you are brave enough, you can even contact the person and ask them for forgiveness – it is your Karma after all. If you have already set things right again, then it is time to forgive yourself, forgive the other person, forgive the situation, and move on.

3. Lessons: 2016 was the year with the most life lessons for me so far. Some of them hit me hard and were not so easy to learn, while the others I embraced quite quickly and open-heartedly. Look back and figure out what were your most important lessons of this year. Life threw you these bones, hoping that you will learn and improve on your mistakes. If these lessons are not learned, they will only enter your life again and again, and torture you until you will finally get it. To be honest, I did not learn a lesson in 2012, and the very same thing happened to me at the very same time in 2013! It was so creepy! You have to realize what life is trying to show you, and make improvements on these things, so that you can grow and move on. Think back, what could you have done better? Take these lessons and use them for your good in 2017, and do things better this time around! And please, do not be angry at your fate – this happened for you to become a better and stronger person.

4. Cleaner: Don’t worry, no killing mafia skills necessary. Look back at the year, and make an inventory of the people in your life. Be honest to yourself: Is there anyone who has to be cleaned out of your life? Do you have so-called “friends” that are dishonest, ruin your relationships, don’t care about you, or even worse, jealous of you? What about a partner that does not respect, appreciate, and truly love you, or maybe doesn’t want to make a commitment to you? They don’t deserve you, and be assured that Lady Karma will take care of them. Let it go, and get rid of them! Sometimes people come into your life for a reason, and once their mission is fulfilled, it is better to send them along their way before they cause more damage in your life. Try to get rid of all toxic people that do you no good before this year ends. Surround yourself only with goodness – and with people that will respect, love, appreciate, honor, and truly love and care for you – and you for them. 

The last days before the year ends are some of the most crucial ones. This special time provides us with a moment to become quieter and look deep within ourselves. It’s a chance to reminisce about the funny, lovely and good things that happened, and allows us to learn from our mistakes. It’s an opportunity to make things right again. It’s a chance to say goodbye to the old, and make space for the wonderful new and exciting things to come. If you feel brave enough, try to do the Me-Inventory. It helps me each year, and offers great reassurance. Besides, the best thing about completing the Me-Inventory is the fact that you have another chance right around the corner: New Year, new start!

I wish you a great 2017 dear friends! A good year full of health, love, prosperity, joy and fun! May all your dreams and wishes comes true in 2017. This is your year!

Many hugs,

Your Gali

Love, Money and Health?
Love, Money and Health? 1280 853 Galia Brener

It’s Friday night, and you are having a cocktail with your girlfriends, chatting about life. Your friend mentions that she is flying to Bali on holiday with her husband for two weeks. Of course you are happy for her, but still something tugs at your heartstrings, wishing that you also had a wonderful partner to enjoy a romantic and relaxing holiday with, not to mention spending hours making love there! After ordering your next Bloody Mary, you tell the girls about the fabulous promotion that your boss gave you today. You have achieved that executive position you always dreamed of having, and the success is finally yours! Out of the corner of your eye, you see your friend looking longingly at you. Little do you know, but she would immediately give everything up, including her Bali trip, to have such a wonderful career as yours! So my dears, which is it that you want? Love, money, or health? Is it possible to have it all?

Most likely, you already have one out of the three. The problem is that usually this is under-appreciated due to the fact that you long for what you do not have. You are not the only one like that. I am as well, and actually almost everyone is like this. You have a wonderful wife? Great, but you spend most of your free time at work, trying to get an even higher salary, and end up ruining your marriage due to lack of time and attention to your woman. Or you are as healthy as an 18-year-old, but jump from job to job, while playing around and breaking hearts. Wishing and lusting for the next adventure? Well, maybe it’s time to stop and think for a minute. Repeat after me: “What do I have and what do I want?” Sometimes, it is not even necessary to have all three in order to be truly happy.

Love (in its “pure” form) is the ultimate drug that gets you so high, even if you refuse to surrender to it. Gentlemen, you might think that being called “Mr. Bond”, because you are a player, is the highest level of being that you can achieve in life? Sorry, but you are wrong. Once true love gets you, it will dig its long red lacy fingers into your body. Inside, it will eat its way through those pulsating muscles and settle directly in the middle of your live beating heart! And believe me, it will be the best feeling you could ever dream of! Funny, but this thing called love usually comes to the ones that either don’t want it, or are not expecting it. So if you want to have a taste of this hypnotic True-Love-Drug, then stop looking for it… because it will find you.

Success and money however, are two little devils that you actually have to work at achieving. Nothing will come from nothing. I always say the most important step is to start. If you are seeking to achieve, then start doing something, and the rest will open itself up to you. Like the old Russian proverb: “Water doesn’t flow under a rock lying on the ground (Nothing ventured, nothing gained).” It’s strange, but always works out this way: once you start working towards your goal, situations and people will open themselves up to you in order to help you upon your path. Money is nice to have because it helps you to live, but please do not expect that it will bring you the ultimate happiness that you desire.

Health has a life of its own. This Health-Character is strange because he comes and goes as he pleases. Of course you can keep him longer by your side, but he is known to be very unpredictable. My mom always screams at me to do sports, however I am the type that prefers sitting on the couch, eating a Big Mac on the weekend. She says that doing sports will strengthen my immune system and keep me healthier. I always argue with her that doing what you love, like me eating burgers, keeps my soul happy. Doing things that you love makes you happy, and being happy increases your health. Of course she doesn’t buy this argument. So listen to the wiser ones than myself, do some sports, and improve your immune system. A few years ago I started with yoga and it makes me very happy. There are definitely things that you can do to increase your health and well-being. I always say that having some loving hobby, something that you enjoy from the bottom of your heart, will make you happy and healthy. For me, this is food and yoga. Without good health, you cannot enjoy your money, success and love, so this is a very crucial point to work on!

With all that has been said, I ask you to look at yourself and your life now. If you have one of the three (love, money, health), then you are lucky. If you have two out of the three, then consider yourself damn lucky! However, if you have all of the above, then I would like to interview you personally, because this means that you were born with a lucky star and are a very special person! Cherish what you have dear friends! Do not look at others that have more or less than you. (There will always be people that have more or less). Concentrate on your life and make the best out of what was given to you. We often forget how lucky we truly are, so now is the time to be grateful and enjoy life!

No more cruelty! Bring the love back.
No more cruelty! Bring the love back. 1200 800 Galia Brener

You are sitting in a cozy café with the girls, and yet again, another story is told about how some asshole hurt your friend in a disgusting way. Or perhaps you are fixing an old timer with your pals, and surprise, a story comes up about how some bitch tried to use him for all that he’s got! Is it just my impression, or has the world gone completely insane? It seems like it’s getting worse and worse. Since when was love banished by mankind and replaced with cruelty?

The classic sad example is of the toxic “Forever-Bachelor” (plenty of them in our beautiful Frankfurt – we all know them) who always finds the next girl to display themselves with at parties and events. They have fun with the girl, and then trade her in for another version, showing off to their sleazy buddies that they managed to stay bachelors for their entire like. They will not allow any woman to come into their life, control them, and steal their precious freedom away. Wake-up call: most of them will end up alone. There will not be anyone to give them a Paracetamol when they have a fever, bring them love, joy, take care of them and share the precious moments in their life. Wow, that sounds like an “amazing” life. Is that what you really want? Eventually you toxic bachelors will also get old, and then the girls won’t be looking at you anymore. Tough luck buddy, what you give is what you get.

Ladies, we are also getting older. I would suggest you to fall in love with a proper “good guy” who offers you his heart on a silver platter, instead of chasing these macho narcissistic morons. We did it in our teens, but now it’s time to switch on the brain and have a man who will be a good husband and father. Sure James Bond & Co. are handsome and rich, but what will he give you? Days and nights of tears because you can’t ever get to his heart? I am sure that many of you have that good guy who likes you so much, but he is just “too nice” for you… right? Well take a second look, because those are the guys that will make your life beautiful and wonderful.

What about all of those that complain about having so much to do and so little time? So many people are running around, working like zombies, slaves to their careers, taking things for granted, and not being satisfied with what they have. More, more and more. Greed. They need to be more efficient and effective at work to earn more money. Wake up call #2: Stop. Look around and realize how bloody lucky you are to be healthy and alive. Be thankful and stop complaining. Hug the ones you love. Reduce your stress. For time goes by quickly, and soon you will realize that you didn’t put time aside to simply “be” and enjoy the moments with yourself and the ones you love. Taking money to the grave won’t bring much. Sure, it will bring tons of happiness to the friendly neighborhood grave robbers, but that’s pretty much it. Slow down people. Think your priorities through, then decide how and what exactly to use your time “efficiently” for.

STOP. Relax and sit down. Forget for a moment about “important” life goals: being successful, rich, important, famous, more beautiful, having the best body, being skinny, looking young, being popular and adored by many, and and and…my head hurts from just thinking about that damn superficial crap we all worry about having, collecting, being and owning. And yes, I mean “ALL” of us. Every single one of us has some goal/idea/wish we strive to achieve, which we think is crucial to our existence – but is it really that important? Simple test of that fact: when you get something new, you enjoy it for some time, but after a short while, the magical appeal disappears, because you have seen something new that you must have! Well guess what? There will always be something or someone “new”… this gruesome circle never stops.

I don’t want to sound like a hippie in a democratic time, but whether you like it or not, karma is a very real concept, and if you live wrong, it will come and bite you in the ass. I have seen it happen positively and negatively with myself, and the ones that I love. What you do and how you live is what you will get back. Be good, and you will get goodness. In a strange but sad way, we all have some cruelty within us, therefore let us learn how to treat each other and ourselves with respect and dignity. No more cruelty!

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Photos by: Polina Brener

Location: Steigenberger Frankfurter Hof

My outfit – Dress: Pepe Jeans, Shoes: Jimmy Choo, Bag: Peter Kaiser

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Your Inner Child
Your Inner Child 800 1200 Galia Brener

I remember when I was a teenager in Toronto, my girlfriends and I had our first fake IDs made to get into clubs and parties. We couldn’t wait until our 18th birthday, and tried everything to look older. Make-up, higher heels, and sophisticated clothing. Now we are double that age, and try to do everything to look younger. Funny thing that we use the same tricks to try and turn back the aging-clock: Make-up, higher heels, and sophisticated clothing. Why did we not realize how amazing it was to be young and enjoy our childhood? Why did we always want to be older?

Society expects us to be responsible. Grow up fast, get an education, find a partner, have children, take care of them, get old, retire and die. So when do we actually have the chance to live out our dreams, and have fun? As a child you are not aware of the freedom that you have. You simply grow and become an adult. Well my dear adults, now that you are finally “there”, it’s time to reverse the process, start believing in Fairytales again, and awaken your inner child. Yes, s/he is still in there, but most likely has been sleeping for the last decades. Let’s wake it up, and see what new adventures the world has to offer us!

A common problem is that people are scared to be judged by society. What will people say if they see me like this? This reminds me of a date that I had a few years ago. I met a guy at an event in Frankfurt. Let’s call him “Mr. Cool”. On our first date, we went for a nice summer walk. Along the way, I saw a fun playground. I don’t know what has gotten into me, but I ran towards it, and decided to climb the monkey bars, run on the overhead ladder, go on the swings… you get the point. I ran around acting like a crazy kid. I glanced at Mr. Cool, and I cannot even describe the look he gave me. A mix of “Jesus-what-the-hell-are-you-doing-get-off-that-swing-immediately!” and “I-don’t-know-this-crazy-girl-she-is-such-a-weirdo” look. To be honest, at that moment I didn’t even care what the ice block Mr. Cool was thinking about me, because I was having so much fun. He came to me, and I thought that he will finally join me on the swing, but instead he said, “Galia, stop it! This is embarrassing! I am a famous actor (He is indeed a well-known German actor), what will people think of me when they see me making a fool of myself on this playground?” Right at that point, I realized that it will never work out between us. Money and fame aside, if the guy cannot be easy-going and appreciate the simple joys in life, then he is not for me. Fun is not just eating at expensive restaurants, but also doing silly things like jumping on a swing together. I politely walked with him back to where we met, said goodbye, smiled, and left as quickly as possible. Why do some people take themselves so seriously? Do we really have to stick to these rigid “Adult behavior rules”, or can we sometimes let our inner child out to play? Mr. Cool called the next day to invite me to dinner, but I told him that my heart was not in it. I could not pretend to be someone that I’m not. I was looking for the one that would climb the monkey bars with me, laughing and being crazy together like children.

That is not to say that we have to ignore our responsibilities, quite the contrary! We have to enjoy ourselves and have fun while achieving our goals and tasks. When you do something with a happy heart, your task becomes a pleasure, and the result will be better. For example, if you are cleaning your car, draw funny figures on the dirty window, and send a picture of it to your loved one. If you have to clean your flat, put on some loud music and run around the house doing funny dances, while cleaning. Do what you can to make the task more fun. I know that daily stress due to work and personal issues can bring a huge amount of pressure upon us, but we must try to do our best to make this process easier for us. Being hard on yourself will not make the problems go away. You must give your “Adult-self” a chance to rest and rethink how you can ease the pressure with a good strategy. Try doing something fun, different, childish and funny in order to bring your mind to positive thoughts. Maybe then, new problem-solving ideas will come to you! The easiest way to begin is by smiling more often.

The older I get, the more I realize how special the time was when I was a child. Free of worries, free of fear, free to live and enjoy! It’s time to bring back the innocence, joy and pure form of fun. Purity. The world is missing this. We need to go back to the basics before we had the car, the mortgage, and the debts. We have to try to capture that feeling of pure joy that we once felt as children. There is much evil and hatred out there. Just turn on the news. Every day another catastrophe. Let’s try to be children of light, instead of darkness. You can enjoy by doing the simplest of things. Remember how excited we used to be when walking with our parents in the forest, looking for mushrooms? Or making homemade cookies with our grandmother, and eating them with our friends? Try to capture this feeling again.

Maybe these few ideas can help: look at photos of your childhood, play board games, take walks around fun places, go to an amusement park, throw out the “cool” attitude/personality, and be who you are, live more in the present, sing funny songs, draw, paint (even if you cant do it well!) be curious, ask questions, daydream, try doing the things you loved to do as a kid, play video games, and most important of all, never say “I’m too old”. The child within you is waiting to come out and play. So go ahead, be silly. No one is watching! And if they do, who cares?

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6 Steps for Classy Flirting
6 Steps for Classy Flirting 1080 530 Galia Brener

I like to observe people all around me. Last week I was on the train and saw a pretty young lady sitting not too far away from me. As the train reached the Frankfurt main station, a handsome man walked in and sat down across from her. I knew right away that I will get a nice article from this scenario.

Flirting varies from person to person. Some are simply born with the talent to flirt and charm, some feel awkward doing it, some think it’s cheap, while others are flirt-o-holics and cannot live without it. So what’s the secret to flirting and how is it done in a classy way with the best results?

Back to my train-spying-romance-story. I looked closely at the woman, and noticed that her eyes brightened when she saw him. She straightened her posture and tried to make herself more alluring to him. He didn’t notice a thing. She glanced at him and looked away. The ride was quite long, so she did that many times, but the guy still had no clue. After a few more attempts, she gave up her subtleness and just gawked shamelessly at him. She arched her back, placed a half smile on her lips, and looked fiercely into his eyes without blinking! She looked wild and hungry, like in a cannibal-cloud-nine-bath-salts kind of way. I was watching them, entertained out of my mind – who needs a movie when you have freak shows all over the city? She tried to bat her eyelashes at him – but instead of being sexy, it looked like she was trying to blink her own eyelid away, opening her eyes wider each time. The guy was squirming very uncomfortably in his seat by now. Eventually her “flirting” technique scared the hell out of him, so he got up and walked quickly away. So ladies and gentlemen, now that we know the wrong way to flirt, let’s see how we can do it the right way.

1. The Eye Contact: This is the most important aspect of the flirt-system! What usually works for me is first a quick glance in his direction. If he sends you a glance back, lock eyes for a moment and look away. Continue doing that for a few times, each time locking eyes for longer periods of time. I wouldn’t recommend looking over too often. Besides, you will feel and see if he’s interested or not.

2. The Smile: After the eye contact, comes your time to shine – beam him/her with a warm and welcoming smile, but please don’t overdo it. We don’t want to come across as psychopaths – a.k.a. – Train Girl. A genuine smile is the sexiest thing and guy or girl can wear, because it shows happiness. Happy people are very attractive. As with the first step, look and smile a few times. If s/he smiles back, you’re in! If not, don’t waste your time because they are most likely not interested.

3. The Approach: This one is more for the guys. I’m a bit of an old fashioned girl and don’t approach men first. I feel that if I have sent out the right signals, topped it off with a warm lovely smile, and if he’s interested, he will approach me. Here comes the best part gentlemen – all you have to do is walk over, smile and say hello. Offer her a drink and introduce yourself. No pick up lines, no playing too cool, no wise guy remarks. Just be sincere, charming, warm and friendly. It’s really as easy as that. If this doesn’t work, then move on – nothing lost.

4. Body Language: Do not cross your arms when talking to him/her. Do not lean away from the person – instead – lean in towards them in the conversation. What works well is to imitate the other person’s body language, because that means you are in sync. Don’t hold out on the smiles or act too serious. Be open and relaxed. Make sure you have a good posture and don’t slouch.

5. Be Charming: Ask him or her questions, and show that you are interested in what they have to say – but don’t fake it. Be genuine, and only show interest if it’s there. When talking, a gentle touch on the arm, or a playful push and laugh is always a nice way to create subtle closeness. Don’t brag about how great your career is, or how cool your friends think you are. No one likes show-offs. Respect the other person and show your good manners. Making an honest compliment works really well. Everyone likes to hear something nice about themselves, but don’t get too personal or sexual right away.

6. Most Important – Lower Your Expectations: If you meet someone that you really like, do not start dreaming right away that this could be the one and put pressure on yourself. Men and women smell desperation and neediness – and this is not the impression you want to leave. So if it goes well, exchange numbers and take it from there. I highly recommended going slow at the beginning.

Flirting is a nice way to increase your self-esteem and confirm to yourself that you are attractive to others. It’s a way of saying to yourself, “I still have the touch.” Flirting is great for getting to know someone who has caught your eye and improving your communication skills. It’s also a great energy booster, and puts you in a positive mood. However, if someone is clearly not responding to your flirting, accept that they are not that into you and walk away. Don’t continue, thinking that they are simply playing hard to get. You will see and feel when it’s not working out. Not everyone is meant to be for everyone – that would be too boring. Your turn will come. Do not let anyone bring you down, and have faith that you deserve true love, and know that you will have it. Know your worth, and always respect yourself – if you do, so will others! Go out there and enjoy a nice evening of flirting.

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Break your dating pattern – try something new!
Break your dating pattern – try something new! 841 1065 Galia Brener

I have a confession to make. When I go to my favorite Thai restaurant, I order my favorite appetizer, with my favorite main dish, and drink my favorite juice. It’s been like that for the last two years. I always order the same thing, over and over again. Subconsciously I’m convinced that my “favorite” thing is also the “best” thing for me, but is this really true? Can it be that we are dating like Thai food orders, and always choosing the same “type” of person to date?

 

Why do I choose this same pattern? I order the same dish because I know that it will always taste good. The taste does not vary much, so I know that I will always be satisfied. Last week as I was standing in line to place my order, a small mischievous devil popped upon my right shoulder and whispered into my ear, “Galia, come on, be wild and order something new for once! It’s so damn boring!” Of course I was waiting for the lovely mini angel to pop upon my left shoulder and present a counter argument, but mysteriously, it did not! I thought, what the hell, I’ll live a little and be daring. I ordered a completely different exotic thing. I sat in anticipation to walk on the wild side, and waited for my meal. It finally arrived. The smell was magnificent, and the taste was even better! I was pleasantly surprised that there exists an even better option than my beloved Pad Thai, which I have been eating for years!

 

What stopped me from “ordering” something different, was the doubt and fear that something else might not taste as good as what I’m used to, which would lead to disappointment. Then the little voice in the head would say, “You see? You should have taken what you know would be good!” But without risking something new, you cannot encounter different tastes, experiences and pleasures in life. Similar to liking the same foods, we are also the same dating victims. We are so used to dating the same types, and also getting hurt in a similar pattern, that for us it has become almost “normal”! I only know a few friends that date completely random type of men and women, but most are drawn to the same character. We are restricting ourselves with our pattern of similar choices. I think it’s time to order something completely different on the “dating menu”, and enjoy the exquisite, unique taste and adventures!

 

My friend Gloria is the perfect example for this. Ever since I could remember, she was attracted to the bad boys. She called them the heartbreakers that she hated to love, and loved to hate. They didn’t look alike, but they had one major thing in common, they all hurt her. These men shared a certain kind of mystery and nonchalant attitude that kept her coming back. They were all creative types, with the same clothing style and designer flats, with pseudo intellectual friends, and a desperate desire to be alternatively cool. It was as if she was dating the same man over and over again. The last advertising agency owner she dated traded her in for younger tall brunette with big blue eyes, and other big things. Gloria felt humiliated and devastated! It was finally time for an immediate change.

 

A few weeks later, she went to Gibson with her best girlfriend, and had a fabulous evening there. They were drinking delicious cocktails, dancing and chatting with friends. As Gloria went to the bar to order drinks, a guy on her right side smiled and said hello. She smiled back, but was not interested in him. He was definitely not her type, but they continued talking while the drinks were being made. He was actually quite funny, and made her laugh. As she was leaving, he asked for her number. She hesitated, but her friend gave it to him. He was half a head shorter than her, soft around the belly, came from a conservative family, and was a banker with a funny and easy-going attitude. He was the exact opposite of all her ex boyfriends! She avoided him for a while, but he did not give up, until finally they met. The date was nice, and she felt like she could be herself with him. It took her some time to open and warm up to him. However, one date turned into more dates, which turned into a long-term relationship, which now turned into a fabulous engagement party. She has never been happier in her life!

 

Gloria is smart. She realized that something had to change if she wanted to be happy. Most of us are responsible for our own happiness or miseries because of the partner we choose and stay with. A good friend of mine once told me “Galia, it’s up to us to choose well for our future.” If you see that your dating pattern is bad for you, then make an immediate change! Take your friends to a completely different bar, in another city part that you usually hang out in, with different music and new people. Do something you don’t usually do on the weekends. Go out and try new things. New galleries, museums, gym, book or food stores, etc. You need a change of scene and environment. Break away from the old chain that constantly gets your into emotional trouble. It’s time to stop eating the same Pad Thai! Why not choose your next love be a completely different character than you are normally used to? You might be very surprised, and find your true love and happiness with someone that is grateful and appreciative to have you! After all, don’t you deserve the very best?

 

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Eat what you want and be happy!
Eat what you want and be happy! 1200 400 Galia Brener

In order to start this column in the most authentic way possible, I have ordered a family-sized pizza, with a soft drink and ice cream for dessert. Often I find myself thinking, how long do we actually have to live a lovely, fun, happy and satisfying life? 85 years if we are lucky. We start thinking about our body image at the age of 15 until approximately 70. That leaves us with 55 years of worrying about being skinny, having the perfect shape, no cellulite, toned muscles, fitting into smaller and smaller sizes, and having those bloody skinny jeans laying around that we so desperately want to fit into, but mysteriously never “comfortably” can! We force ourselves to eat a salad everyday – over and over again. Daily salad consumption, for 55 years makes it…. 20,075 damn salads! Congratulations boys and girls, we are officially worse than rabbits. I think it’s time to start eating what we want and feeling happy about it!

 

Hungry = Angry. When hungry, your serotonin levels are low, and hence you feel angry, and sometimes even depressed. My mom knows not to talk to me until I have eaten a proper meal; otherwise I become a walking monster. I get irritated and short-tempered. Even worse than that, my stomach and head start to hurt. Believe it or not, the “evil carbohydrates” help to rebuild serotonin quicker in your brain, which is responsible for making you feel happy. So do not run away from carbs, because if eaten in the right dosage, they are your friends!

 

We live in a time where being skinny has become the definition of beauty. Maybe I really am from another planet and do not understand the Earthly ways, but aren’t our curves and softness what makes us women feminine and beautiful? Yes? Then why is everyone going crazy to become a size 0? Somehow between the 1950’s and today, something got terribly lost in translation. This makes me angry! Who the hell started this mass confusion and is responsible for this ridiculous chaos? Every (good) single man that I have spoken to lately says that he would love to meet a woman with nice curves. Can it be that us women are making our own life so complicated? Then again, I remember my 2nd ex blaming me for becoming fat after a visit to Japan (Without him…) I gained 4 kg, and he made it sound like I became a blimp. Thank God I got rid of that freak. I was in a new country and he thought that I wouldn’t try all of the delicious exotic foods? I would give him up again and again for a fresh piece of Kobe beef!

 

My friend Anatoly was dating a beautiful voluptuous Brazilian woman. They shared a huge passion for food. They cooked together and tried out new restaurants. Anatoly adored her curves. She was the perfect vision of femininity for him. When they got married, his wife started spending more time with the snobby neighborhood women. They assured her that all the husbands have younger, skinnier and beautiful mistresses at work. They were crazy paranoid witches that influenced her very negatively. She lost a lot of weight, and did not eat much with Anatoly anymore. Their shared passion has disappeared. She was constantly hungry, moody and angry. The love was suffering. She lost her beautiful feminine curves and her bones hurt him while trying to make love. She became a ghost of what she once was and eventually this led to divorce. He loved her desperately, and tried to show her the light, but she was lost in her own superficial world.

 

Guilt = Fat. I will share with you something important that I have learned from my past. If I would eat something really fatty, or in large amounts, I would constantly worry about it. I knew that the calories and fat were quite high and felt that it will cause my body damage. I gained much weight in only just a week! I felt guilt all the time. It was a psychological jail, with the torture included! A few weeks later I lost those kilos and decided to make an experiment. I ate exactly the same food and amounts, but felt no guilt or remorse afterwards. I felt good about what I ate because I knew that for this moment of my life, I needed this food. The carbs made me happy! I felt relaxed because I could eat what I wanted without feeling bad. Well guess what? Same food, same amount and my weight did not change. Sounds unreal, but it’s true. It’s all a psychological mind game. Guilt attracts negativity into your life and body. Guilt will make you gain weight rapidly! Stop the guilt!

 

Soul food = Happy person. The evil burger is calling your name. You tell it to shut up, but it doesn’t work because you fantasize about its juices in your mouth. Go ahead and eat the damn burger. Of course I am not suggesting you to exaggerate every day, and get a heart attack, but a bit more pleasure with your meals will make you happier. My theory is to enjoy and eat what you want, but not to overdo it. Have your healthy stuff in between, but leave space for the treats and goodies that your heart and soul desire. Love yourself and feed yourself. Do not starve, because your body will not forgive you. And remember… life is too bloody short to live on salads!

 

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