Why rush to have sex right away?

Why rush to have sex right away? 1354 437 Galia Brener

Gentlemen, this article is mainly for you. Imagine this: you go out with the guys and meet a really fantastic girl. You chat with her for a bit, and manage to charm her enough so that she gives you her number. You go home with a happy feeling because this one has something special about her. Of course you don’t wait 3 days to call her because that’s a stupid rule made up by some player guy – no offense. You call the next day and ask her out. You make a date and take her to a restaurant with delicious food. You talk all night about life, adventures and hobbies. Even a few dreams and goals are exposed. She makes you feel different, and you seem to like her. Being a perfect gentleman, you pay for the dinner – especially on the first date, help her with her coat, and open the door for her to exit the restaurant.

The night is still young, so you offer to go to a bar to prolong the fantastic date, because you don’t want to let her get away just yet. You have a few drinks, and see that you both understand each other. But even more exciting than the mental connection, is the physical one. You notice her luscious lips and bright eyes. She’s telling you a story, while seductively moving her hair to the side, showing the perfect spot of exposed skin for you to kiss and bite on. You feel your pants are getting tighter. You look down at her blouse and notice the top part of her cleavage staring back at you. You envision those beautiful breasts in your hands and her hard nipples in your mouth. You can’t handle these wild thoughts anymore, and you lean over to kiss her. Her lips are soft, and you imagine what her other lips would feel like on your tongue. You ask if she wants to leave the bar and go somewhere more private, like her place.

MISTAKE. What is it with you men trying to score on the first date? If not the first, then definitely the second date. I get letters from so many women complaining that the dates start out so wonderfully, until after a few drinks when the guys try to drag them to their place to have sex. Men, what is the matter? What is the intense rush to kiss, make out or have sex right away? I’m old-fashioned, but maybe I have missed something on the news? Is World War III coming, and I haven’t heard anything about it at all? If there is no war, then what else can explain this mad hustle to get into her panties? Yes you feel the passion, and yes you want to have an Earth-shattering, backward-eyeball-rolling orgasm, but gentlemen, you are on the first date here! Please try to keep that eager curious penis in his pants where he belongs in the beginning. If the penis is so difficult to control, then come home and stroke your friend to sleep, but please tame him in front of your new lady.

Ladies, of course if you are looking for a hot night with a hot man, then this would be irrelevant. However, if you are looking to find a relationship and love, I would advise you to wait before jumping into the bed, onto the kitchen floor, on your carpet or shower with the guy. There is enough time for that later on. Get to know him first, and find out who he really is (read last week’s article). A little hint, if a man doesn’t want to wait a while for you, then he is only after the sex.

Gentlemen, if you are only after sex, then you better tell her that at the very beginning. Maybe she wants the same thing as well. But knowing women quite well, I can tell you that most of us are usually in it for the real deal – the love, best friends, matching sweaters, and that kind of nice cheesy thing. So please do not hurt her, and clear this out first. If you are also looking for love and a relationship, then that’s an even better reason to wait. Show that you respect and value her, and are interested to get to know who she is, how she thinks, what she does, and how she feels. Wake up and smell the coffee, or at least her perfume. She took the time to get ready and make herself look beautiful for you, so admire and appreciate that, instead of ruining that special feeling and those nice new clothes. From personal experience the longer you wait, the better you get to know each other, and the more trust and passion will grow. Then when you finally have her, you will feel how amazing it is to make love to a woman that you really admire and respect. Believe me, it’s worth the wait!

Honestly, in this world of faster than fast, where everything should have already happened yesterday, we have to slow things down. I was speaking to my 90-year-old grandmother last night, and she told me about this thing called “Romance”. She said it was something that was very common back in the days when she was my age. She said that when a gentleman would court his special lady for a few months, he would take her out for dinners and romantic walks by the river. He would come to her door with flowers, and would write her love letters. Eventually after some time passed and the couple got to know each other, the man would take the woman somewhere special and make love to her. Back in my grandmother’s time, making love – or as we now call it: having sex, was something very special. It was something significant which bonded the couple in deep intimacy and trust. Imagine that, a time when giving your body to a man was the most precious thing that a woman could do. I was thinking, wouldn’t it be nice for us to go back to the roots a bit? What if we brought back the courting, and getting to know each other phase? And brought back the romance, patience and respect along with it. Wouldn’t that make dating so much more special and meaningful for us?

Sex out of the bed for 1 month!

Sex out of the bed for 1 month! 1354 437 Galia Brener

You come home from work, probably tired as hell, eat something in front of the TV and have a nice glass of red to ease the stress of the day. You try to seduce your man, but he just smiles back and puts on a game. Knowing better than to ever bother a man while watching his “Holy ESPN” channel, you get up and change for bed. If you’re lucky, he comes into bed before you fall asleep. If you’re double lucky, he rips off your nightie and plays with your clit, instead of the remote control. But back to reality, it usually ends up being a 5-minute session in the same position, on the same bed, with the same rhythm and snoring sounds after. So what can you do to make sure that Mr. Sex doesn’t die? Try the “Bed-Ban” rule (Yes I made it up, but it works). Sex out of the bed for one month! It will bring back the “juiciness” into your love life.

The human brain is an asshole. Everything sexual that become a routine = boring. It’s time to shake that bastard up a bit. Give him – the brain of course – something to think about for weeks to come! And don’t be afraid to show your man that he doesn’t know “everything” about you, and that you have many more exciting tricks up your sleeve. Mystery in a relationship is worth gold! I came up with a list of 8 kinky places that made me hot just by thinking about it.

1. Haunted House: These places are great because they are extremely dark inside, and no one would ever know. If your lady moans, the others walking around will think that those are zombie sounds which are part of the attraction. Be careful because there are usually vampires and monsters running around there, so if you feel a third hand around your penis, it might not be your woman.

2. Bank vault: Take your sweetheart and go store some cash in your safety-deposit-box. The inside area does not have cameras, so you are safe to spread your bills on the table, or rather spread your woman’s legs and take her right there and then! What happens in the vault stays a locked secret in the vault.

3. Motorcycle: What’s sexier than a loud Harley with a Jekill & Hyde exhaust system, your man looking incredibly hot, and you sitting on top of him with your naked bum touching the cold metal of the bike?! Give him an exciting ride that he will never forget, and engrave yourself into his memory every time he sees his beloved motorcycle.

4. Elevator & Stairwell: These two are risky, yet very exciting locations to have sex with your love. Your heart will race a mile and hour because you will not know when the door will open. The rules are that you have to be fast! Wear a skirt with nothing underneath for that extra rush.

5. Airport parking garage: The airport has a certain excitement about it. There is no better way to say, “Have a good business trip darling” than with the hottest sex he has ever had at 7am in the morning! Drive your handsome man to the airport, and as he’s about to get out, lock the car doors and climb on top of him. The steamier the windows become, the better! Bon voyage baby – and believe me, he will think a lot about you during his trip, and will count the minutes to come back home to his seductive vamp!

6. Roof of a building: If you have access to your roof, go up there with a bottle of Champagne, a blanket, and a trench coat with nothing underneath. If you don’t have a roof, sneak onto someone else’s! Or even better, go to a roof part with your man, and disappear around the corner while people are drinking and dancing.

7. On a piano: You can’t play the piano? Well you don’t have to. Sit on it with your legs spread apart, and let your guy play with you. I bet it will be the most beautiful sound that ever came out of that instrument. Turn around, and press your breasts against the lacquer finish, while your partner takes you deeply from behind. Make music your way!

8. On a swing outside in the rain: Feel like a kid again! Hopefully you didn’t have sex as a kid on a swing, but this time you are allowed to be bad and dirty. Best time is after midnight, when the city is asleep, and the only spies are the fresh drops on rain on your flushed faces. Wrap yourself around your man, and feel how good it is to have him inside of you. Breathe in deeply, and feel the intense connection magnified by the water running down your back.

You can also get wild inside of your home. Try the kitchen floor, while riding him beside the fridge with the door open for the nipple-hardening cooling effect. Do the laundry, while he’s taking you during the fastest spinning cycle – you will feel him deep inside, and the vibrations shiver through your entire body. You must get clean after being dirty, so take that hot man into the shower with you. You can either lean against the wall with him taking you from behind, or get him to sit on the shower floor and slide yourself down onto him, with the water drizzling over your bodies. Don’t forget to get that “thing you need” out of the basement and have your man take you hard against the carton boxes. With creativity and the desire to spice up your relationship, you can sex your way to bliss and bring back the naughty butterfly feeling again! Just remember the rules of the experiment: sex outside of the bed for 1 month!

Sugar Daddy? No, thank you.

Sugar Daddy? No, thank you. 1354 437 Galia Brener

Freedom. This is a fundamental element in the life of any human being. For some, freedom means running around wild from party to party, not tied down by a relationship, and living for the moment. For others, freedom means to have financial independence and not worry about how to survive the next month. How one “achieves” this financial independence is what makes or breaks the person. Some get a job – which they might love or hate – but nevertheless is an honest way to earn this independence. Some might resort to a sugar daddy hunt in order to find a rich man that will take care of their every need and desire. But is that really considered as “freedom”? We all know that you don’t get something for nothing, so how high of a price does a woman have to pay when having a sugar daddy?

Prostitution is known as the world’s oldest profession. Ever since barter and currency have existed, so has prostitution. I have turned to the oxford dictionary for an accurate definition of prostitution: “The practice or occupation of engaging in sexual activity with someone for payment”. I also looked up the definition of a sugar baby (one who has a Sugar Daddy). Since this word is a slang, I found the meaning in the urban dictionary: “A woman who provides companionship and/or sexual relations for a wealthy man in exchange for expensive gifts and/or money”. Since both definitions are very similar to each other, can it be that being a sugar baby is the same or very close to prostitution?

My acquaintance Ambrosia admitted to me last week that she had a sugar daddy. She met “Money Bags” at a club opening in Frankfurt. She caught his eye as soon as she walked in. She was there with her best friend, and he sent over a bottle of Champagne to them. He came over to say hello, and she was mesmerized by his generous gesture. He was 22 years older than her, but she didn’t mind. He was not the usual type of man that she likes, but his charm and power attracted her. She found his bossiness and arrogance very sexy. She called me the next day, and I told her that something seemed odd about his description. She ignored my warning, and started dating him. He took her on expensive holidays, bought her designer clothing, jewelry and more extravagant “things”. Money Bags liked to show Ambrosia off to his friends, as if she was expensive real estate that he purchased, renovated, and would sell quite quickly to the next buyer. A few months later, she told him that she was falling in love with him. His answer made her heart almost stop cold. He said, “Darling, what are you talking about? You know that we have an unspoken agreement that you entertain me, and in return I show you the good life. I am not looking for love or a third wife. I want fun and sex!” After this he dropped her very quickly and found an even younger sugar baby. Disgusting. Ambrosia felt cheap and used. She wanted to crawl into a dark deep hole and never come out. She told me that this scarred her for life, and she feels damaged. Even more so, this killed a part of her soul. She is not able to have a normal relationship after this horrific experience.

Ambrosia is not the only one. There is a rising trend of women looking for sugar daddies to finance their life – and this is all happening online now! Dating websites like “Seeking Millionaire”, “Seeking Arrangement” and “Carrot Dating” are making it easy for women to sell themselves on the market. Men bribe women with money, presents, shopping, trips and even plastic surgery to go on dates with them! What’s even more repulsive are the tips on WikiHow given to women to find a sugar daddy: post sensual photos of yourself, go to places where rich men hang out and sell yourself like a piece of flesh to them, and if you’re really good, you can negotiate a monthly flat fee of a few thousand Euros for your personal needs. This sounds dangerously close to prostitution and escorting. Ladies please be careful, it is not worth it. Your heart, body and soul will be stolen from you, chewed up like dry aged meat, and spit back out for the dogs to devour. This will not bring you happiness, but rather make you depressed as hell! Ambrosia told me that she was obligated to do and go where Money Bags wanted to, and have sex whenever he wanted to. He said the one that pays also commands. In my understanding, this is not the definition of freedom, but rather the meaning of slavery. And looking the other way around, don’t these sugar daddies realize that it is their wealth that attracts the females? I can’t imagine it being a good feeling to know that the women greedily perceive them as a walking ATM machine! This seems like a cold, lonely and rather embarrassing existence.

Ambrosia told me to be honest with my readers. She said that the lifestyle was very appealing to her. The glamour, money, and presents were very alluring. She enjoyed having everything given to her. But it was not really “given”; she had to pay with her body, soul and pride. After he carelessly dumped her, she got a job that pays monthly what he would spend on her in one day. The difference is that this is her own honestly earned money. She values each euro that she earns nowadays. She sees how hard this money is to be made, but nevertheless she loves it, because this signifies freedom to her. She can do whatever she wants with her salary, and is her own boss now. From my experience, saving your own money every month, and eventually spoiling yourself with a beautiful bag, nice jewelry or shoes, is the best damn feeling in the world! I promise that you will adore this bag or shoes forever, because you bought it with your own hard earned money, and didn’t have to humiliate yourself with some older dude for a piece of leather.

To be honest, I think it would feel better to wear Zara and be free, than Gucci and feel like you owe him a piece of you. This is very degrading! Freedom is very precious – and loosing it for crappy designer stuff is a very high price to pay. Dignity and pride are such precious possessions – do not give them away! I also wonder if the people in these “arrangements” ever think of true love. Do they miss it? Do they even need it? Could it be that their greed for money and sex substitutes their need for real love? I do not know what goes on in the people’s heads that agree to such arrangements, but what I do know is that almost everyone wishes for true love, and that’s one thing that money can’t buy – and this can never be replaced by a girl hanging cheaply on a man’s arm and dreaming of true love… with his wallet.

Sexy Sex ♥

Sexy Sex ♥ 1354 437 Galia Brener

It’s a cold winter, and the mind automatically wanders off to long nights of hot passionate lovemaking. You close your eyes and fantasize about a room with a big fireplace in the middle, surrounded by warm sheepskin rugs, and hypnotic ambient music. You and your partner spend hours telling each other intimate secrets, kissing, playing with his thick dark hair, while he is holding you around the waist, you are arching your back, revealing your breasts to him, wrapping your legs around his hard body, and longing for his lips to caress you in the most intimate spots.

Sex is passion. Sex makes the heart beat faster. Lovemaking awakens your body and makes you feel sensations that you never knew existed. If you tie a silk scarf over your eyes and let your partner touch your skin slowly, you will be surprised at how your senses will awaken. A slow sensual touch with the fingers or lips on the lower back, neck, inside of the upper arm, behind the knees and wrists can take you on a wild rollercoaster ride! Taking the time to discover his/her body, and finding each other’s erogenous zones can be a wonderful way to increase your intimacy. You can interchange between slower sensual, and faster wild rhythmic sex. Each time, discovering new and exciting ways of lovemaking.

Sex works magic for the body, mind and soul. Not only do you have a chance to experience the mind blowing, shivering intense feeling of a climax, you also increase your wellbeing and beauty! While having hot passionate sex, the female body produces double the estrogen levels, which makes the skin smoother and hair shinier! The body lets go of stress after a hard day of work, and the relaxations starts. Talk about “sex-with-benefits!” Sex also releases endorphins, which make your body and mind feel the blissful effects of euphoria. You feel like the queen that you are! Lifting weights at the gym is so boring, therefore lovemaking is a fabulous way to stay fit. Burn 200 or more calories each time… depending on how experimental and wild you both are.

Sex is a wonderful way to increase the intimacy with your partner. Reaching orgasms together increases the levels of the hormone oxytocin, which is the “love hormone” that helps people bond and build trust. Keep in mind that men bond physically, while women bond emotionally. Therefore ladies, keep your relationship healthy and strong, by making time for hot lovemaking with your man. When the men are happy physically, they will make you happy emotionally! Don’t forget to put on that heart-racing new babydoll you ordered from Victoria Secret, and a spray of your favorite seductive perfume, on all the right places.

A colleague of mine, let’s call her Ambrosia, was telling me about her wild love and “sexcapades” with a well-known German restauranteur. They met at the Käfer’s tent at the Oktoberfest in Munich. He was younger than her, and had a body like Hercules. When they locked eyes for the first time, it felt like the roof was on fire. He ordered Champagne, but all she wanted was a cold beer, preferably in a large hard Masskrug. After a few rendezvous with Hercules, Ambrosia could not stand the wild pulsation between her lovely legs anymore. She wanted him immediately! She took him to her cozy altbau flat in Frankfurt, and threw him onto her bed. She ripped his shirt open, kissed his strong chest, while running her fingernails down his muscular back. She felt him getting harder with each touch. Hercules tilted her head back, and kissed her long soft neck, with the strength of his full lips. He stroked her perky breasts, while undressing her. This drove Ambrosia wild, so she sat on him, and showed Hercules what lovemaking really was. He was fascinated by her seduction and brave moves on him. They had breathtaking sex all over the flat, restaurants and other mysterious places, including his childhood bedroom. He was simply enchanted by her loveliness, intelligence, warm and open heart, creativity and passion. Her favorite thing to do was caress his “Masskrug” during the night while he was sleeping. This made him wake up to her sensual touch, and they would make love in the mesmerizing dark hours. Ambrosia and Hercules’s passion for each other could be felt whenever they walked into any room, anywhere and anytime. When they were together, people would stare at them with open mouths. Their love, energy, temper, loyalty, passion and adoration for each other were irreplaceable.

Sex and passion make you feel sexy. In order to enjoy, you need to relax, let go of your thoughts, worries, stress, and lose yourself in the act of seduction and lovemaking. Do not worry what you look like or what face you make while having a mind-blowing orgasm! Enjoy the ride and free your mind and body. Lovemaking is therapeutic, and often brings two hearts closer together. Great sex also helps to increase one’s self-esteem. If the sex is loving, and you feel connected to your partner, this will make you feel like the beauty that you truly are. Go ahead and have some sexy sex. You deserve it!

Not So Casual Sex

Not So Casual Sex 1354 437 Galia Brener

We live in a time where dating different partners is as easy as owning many pairs of shoes. Whenever a newer, sought-after style comes out, we quickly forget the open-toe of last year, and run to the shops to buy the horrible sneakers with an integrated wedge heel. As soon as these monstrosities go out of style, there will surely come something newer, shinier, and prettier… but does that automatically make it better? Just like we change and throw out our shoes, our society has made it acceptable to do the same with partners that we date and sleep with. What happened that this became a “made-for-one-time-use-only” disposable generation? Like a multiple test in school: A, B, C, D, “all, or none” of the above, do we live in a multiple-choice society?

Jules and I went for a Bloody Mary at Vai Vai last week. She told me that she met a nice guy at the super cool Rockmarket party in Frankfurt. That evening they had a long chat about life, relationships, philosophy, and other fascinating topics. After the party, they kept in touch, and have decided to meet again. They had a wonderful evening of delicious food and drinks, and ended up going to his place. This mystery man was mesmerized by Jules, kissing her all the way up the stairs to his flat. They laughed, shared some private jokes, and had passionate sex into the early morning hours. After waking up, they had some coffee, and she left. A week has passed, and Jules is still waiting for him to call. Meanwhile, our mystery man has disappeared. For him, it was just casual sex. For her, it was not so casual.

Casual Sex: how do you feel the next morning, after the glittery glamorous butterfly effects of the alcohol has worn off, the make-up is smeared all over the face, the person you shared your body with is sleeping on the other end of the bed, back turned to you, and you feel… empty. The heart wants more. It wants to be hugged, caressed, loved, cuddled and be assured that the world is a beautiful and bright place to live in. But reality strikes when you open your eyes the next morning, and see the look in the other’s face, the looks that says without words, “Please leave my flat, I do not want to deal with you in my bed now… or ever.” That’s the look that makes you get dressed as quickly as possible, leave the scene of the crime, take the torturous walk of shame home, and try to forget that this ever happened. Do we really ever forget these events? Or do they haunt and torture us, taking with them a small piece of our soul, leaving a tiny empty hole.

Then again, there are some that simply love sex. They adore the exploration of the body, having a thrilling night of passion and seduction, without any strings attached. Why settle down for one, when there can be a new one as often as wanted? Instead of one grotesque wedge heeled-sneaker, you can have 10 in all different colors and styles! It’s casual sex between two consenting adults. Let’s take Samantha from Sex and the City as an example. She was a beautiful, successful, independent woman that enjoyed having casual sex. She was completely happy and satisfied with the many sexual variations in her life… and then came Smith. Once true love entered the scene, all variety was forgotten. Even Samantha, the lover of many lovers, gave into being with only one man, the man that won over her heart.

Expectation management: Casual sex is ok, as long as you can live with a non-guilty conscience of the consequences that follow. It has been observed that women are more likely to want more from a man after a night spent together, whereas for some men, it is simply casual sex. However, this is not to say that the roles cannot be reversed. But usually, women connect on an emotional level, whereas men tend to connect on a physical level. Is it possible to avoid getting hurt by discussing future expectations before getting into bed? Or is it a mood-killer?

What must be avoided, due to the sheer respect for a fellow human being, is leading someone on, with false expectations and illusions. This reminds me of a story that my friend Claudia told me once. Two years ago, she dated someone for a few weeks. Let’s call him “Cutlery-Man”. This summer she saw him at a street fest in the city. They had a warm reunion and went to her house for a delicious glass of Barolo, and a heart-to-heart conversation. He showered her with promises of a beautiful future together. She was looking into his bright blue eyes, charmed with every word that came out of his mouth. She figured that since they knew each other from the past, he would not lie to her. She gave into his hypnotic tales of a fraudulent life, and made love the entire night. Little did she know, he had not put on a condom as promised, and as he coldly left her flat the next morning, she rushed to her doctor to get the morning after pill. She was nauseous and sick all day, not only due to this awful strong pill, but also from his irresponsibility, and cruel carelessness. It dawned upon her, that his intentions were never true. He disgustingly lied his way into a night of casual sex with her. He did not even care about the damage this pill made to her body and soul. “Cutlery-Man” is a Frankfurt banker that came from a rural area. He is an empty walking shell of a man that has lost his happiness and joy for life. His selfishness possibly stems from the fact that he never got the proper love he needed at home, and therefore, he became a bitter man, a ghost. A week later, Claudia found out that Cutlery-Man has been calling and trying to sleep with a girlfriend of hers as well, knowing that both girls knew each other!

Saying all of the above, there have been times where casual sex has led to true love. I even know a couple that started dating, and got engaged shortly after. Fairytales do come true. Fate is a marvelous thing that can surprise you at the strangest of times! Be good, kind, fair, honest, respectful to yourself and others, and good things will come to you.

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