You come home from work, probably tired as hell, eat something in front of the TV and have a nice glass of red to ease the stress of the day. You try to seduce your man, but he just smiles back and puts on a game. Knowing better than to ever bother a man while watching his “Holy ESPN” channel, you get up and change for bed. If you’re lucky, he comes into bed before you fall asleep. If you’re double lucky, he rips off your nightie and plays with your clit, instead of the remote control. But back to reality, it usually ends up being a 5-minute session in the same position, on the same bed, with the same rhythm and snoring sounds after. So what can you do to make sure that Mr. Sex doesn’t die? Try the “Bed-Ban” rule (Yes I made it up, but it works). Sex out of the bed for one month! It will bring back the “juiciness” into your love life.
The human brain is an asshole. Everything sexual that become a routine = boring. It’s time to shake that bastard up a bit. Give him – the brain of course – something to think about for weeks to come! And don’t be afraid to show your man that he doesn’t know “everything” about you, and that you have many more exciting tricks up your sleeve. Mystery in a relationship is worth gold! I came up with a list of 8 kinky places that made me hot just by thinking about it.
1. Haunted House: These places are great because they are extremely dark inside, and no one would ever know. If your lady moans, the others walking around will think that those are zombie sounds which are part of the attraction. Be careful because there are usually vampires and monsters running around there, so if you feel a third hand around your penis, it might not be your woman.
2. Bank vault: Take your sweetheart and go store some cash in your safety-deposit-box. The inside area does not have cameras, so you are safe to spread your bills on the table, or rather spread your woman’s legs and take her right there and then! What happens in the vault stays a locked secret in the vault.
3. Motorcycle: What’s sexier than a loud Harley with a Jekill & Hyde exhaust system, your man looking incredibly hot, and you sitting on top of him with your naked bum touching the cold metal of the bike?! Give him an exciting ride that he will never forget, and engrave yourself into his memory every time he sees his beloved motorcycle.
4. Elevator & Stairwell: These two are risky, yet very exciting locations to have sex with your love. Your heart will race a mile and hour because you will not know when the door will open. The rules are that you have to be fast! Wear a skirt with nothing underneath for that extra rush.
5. Airport parking garage: The airport has a certain excitement about it. There is no better way to say, “Have a good business trip darling” than with the hottest sex he has ever had at 7am in the morning! Drive your handsome man to the airport, and as he’s about to get out, lock the car doors and climb on top of him. The steamier the windows become, the better! Bon voyage baby – and believe me, he will think a lot about you during his trip, and will count the minutes to come back home to his seductive vamp!
6. Roof of a building: If you have access to your roof, go up there with a bottle of Champagne, a blanket, and a trench coat with nothing underneath. If you don’t have a roof, sneak onto someone else’s! Or even better, go to a roof part with your man, and disappear around the corner while people are drinking and dancing.
7. On a piano: You can’t play the piano? Well you don’t have to. Sit on it with your legs spread apart, and let your guy play with you. I bet it will be the most beautiful sound that ever came out of that instrument. Turn around, and press your breasts against the lacquer finish, while your partner takes you deeply from behind. Make music your way!
8. On a swing outside in the rain: Feel like a kid again! Hopefully you didn’t have sex as a kid on a swing, but this time you are allowed to be bad and dirty. Best time is after midnight, when the city is asleep, and the only spies are the fresh drops on rain on your flushed faces. Wrap yourself around your man, and feel how good it is to have him inside of you. Breathe in deeply, and feel the intense connection magnified by the water running down your back.
You can also get wild inside of your home. Try the kitchen floor, while riding him beside the fridge with the door open for the nipple-hardening cooling effect. Do the laundry, while he’s taking you during the fastest spinning cycle – you will feel him deep inside, and the vibrations shiver through your entire body. You must get clean after being dirty, so take that hot man into the shower with you. You can either lean against the wall with him taking you from behind, or get him to sit on the shower floor and slide yourself down onto him, with the water drizzling over your bodies. Don’t forget to get that “thing you need” out of the basement and have your man take you hard against the carton boxes. With creativity and the desire to spice up your relationship, you can sex your way to bliss and bring back the naughty butterfly feeling again! Just remember the rules of the experiment: sex outside of the bed for 1 month!