broken heart

Relationship or No Relationship?

Relationship or No Relationship? 622 510 Galia Brener

To commit or not to commit, that is not the questions anymore. Welcome to the dawn of a new era, where some people think that being single is a luxury, whereas marriage with children for them is considered as slavery, or even worse, a prison sentence. My single friends say that commitment has become an old-fashioned theory of the past, and even more so within the last few years. What is happening to our society, and why are people so scared of the “C” word? Could it be that in the near future, we will only be able to read about commitment in history books? Or will romance still exist if we make the right choices?

My friend Gloria was seeing a CEO of a very well known bank in Frankfurt. They met at the JFK’s Bar of the magnificent Villa Kennedy hotel. He was sitting at the opposite end of the bar with his colleagues, and she was there with her best friend. “Tony M” is a very powerful and well-known man in this city. Gloria didn’t know who he was, and that surprised him. They hit it off right away, talking about travel, culture and art. She had a lot to say, and that amused him. She was a hot little firecracker, he thought. He took her out to lovely restaurants, and treated her to delicious food and wine. He tried his moves on her, but Gloria didn’t want it to go too fast. She always made the same mistake in the past by sleeping with men too soon. However with this one, she decided to take her time. Tony was very turned on by this. The more she said no, the more he wanted her. Four weeks later she decided to finally sleep with him. After a long romantic dinner, they went back to his flat. They hardly made it upstairs, and started undressing each other in the small antique elevator. She accidentally ripped his shirt buttons, and her friskiness drove him wild! They had sex three times that night, and stayed up until the morning hours, talking about life, love, honor and adventures. She felt at such ease beside him, like she could really be herself. He caressed her, and his gentle touch confirmed his feelings towards her. She left his flat the next day skipping and singing, elated with happiness.

She waited for his call that evening, but her phone did not ring. They met a few days later, but she felt that everything has drastically changed. There was no more romance or effort on his part. She knew it was over, and this thought made her sick to her stomach. They met a few times again, but it became worse. He was cold and distant to her, and even a bit mean. Gloria called me crying desperately. “Why?!” she asked. “What did I do wrong?” She said they had such lovely deep conversations, so much in common, and such fun together. She thought that he might be “The One”! She was devastated. She couldn’t eat or sleep for weeks. She felt so hurt and betrayed, but worse of all, she felt used like a cheap whore. Gloria is a great woman. She’s smart, attractive, warm, funny and very feminine. What the hell was wrong with Tony, and why did he do this to her? Only a few weeks ago he looked her straight in the eyes, saying how much he liked her, and a month later, she saw him with three different women. Is Tony simply an asshole, or is there another reason behind his disgusting behavior?

What is the real reason behind fear of commitment? I came up with three possibilities:

1. People are looking for “the next best thing.”
Some have a perpetual need for something bigger, better, sexier, richer, more fun, younger… more more more! Since everything is offered by the masses, and there are limitless opportunities and temptations everywhere, the thought of “Could I do better?” often pops up in their heads. There is nothing wrong with searching for your Prince Charming and Miss Right, but to the temporary “place holders” you are dating, you might actually be their dream man/woman. Therefore tell them right away how you see it, and don’t damage them. They did nothing wrong to deserve this egoistic crap, so learn to have mercy. Think of karma, because it will come and bite where it hurts. For the ones suffering in this situation, it could be that s/he is just not that into you. It happened to me before, and I know it hurts like hell, but you can’t force love. Besides, don’t you want someone who truly loves you, and not someone that you have to run after, and feel stupid doing so? Respect yourself, and know that you deserve to be loved. Move on.

2. People have been badly hurt in the past, and don’t want to go through that pain again.
What about, “No risk, no love”? Getting hurt is a bitch, but we have all been there. (Some like myself, even more than once). I always encourage my friends to find their courage and get back into the boxing… or rather, dating ring. It’s a 50/50 chance to get knocked out again, or come out as a champion with the love of your life beside you. Giving into hurt and bitterness by hiding in your own shell to lick the wounds is ok for the first few months, but then survivorship and courage must kick in. You must allow yourself to have another chance in love. Don’t be your own victim, because the next person you meet might be the one you have been waiting for all along. True love is only for the very strong – because if you can handle some knockouts, and after that still aspire to find love, then you deserve it!

3. People want to simply enjoy the sex buffet and have fun.
If you want a serious commitment, keep your hands away from these ones. Who needs a guy who wants to sleep with a different girl every few days? The Internet offers meat… oops, I mean flirts and dates, left and right. When going out, some offer themselves on a platter, “Take me, take me!!” No way. Just thinking of disease opportunities gives me the shivers. When it comes to these sorts of “love phobics”, send them to the next red light district area with 50 euros, and erase them out of you existence. Trust me, this 50 will be the best investment you have ever made, because their disappearance out of your life is priceless! We live in a time where people offer an auction online for their virginity. So maybe “sex-buffet-wo/man” is not the best candidate for dreaming of a fabulous future together. Again, move on. Cry for a day, but be happy for a lifetime.

If you want a serious relationship, stay away from the people with the above mentioned symptoms. These “illnesses” do not have an over-the-counter cure. Maybe the broken heart guy still has a chance, but out of personal experience, these cases take ages to cure, and usually you are left alone and hurting. My advice is to listen to your gut feeling. Put on your magic glasses, and look carefully through the “Lens of Truth”. Play Sherlock Holmes, and pay attention to the small things they say or do, because there are many hints given to you. Also look careful at how they act around their family, friends, children and elderly people. Take your time to get to know them, and don’t give your heart away too quickly. That was always my bloody mistake. But with time, I learned to listen and observe better. I like to think that when you meet people with fear of commitment, it’s actually your angels taking care of you not to fall in love with the wrong person who will make your life miserable. So allow your angels to do their work, and don’t interfere in their magic. They have a nice plan for you, so have faith.

Did a cheater break your heart?

Did a cheater break your heart? 1200 400 Galia Brener

Like I always say, love is a bitch. She mysteriously appears out of no where, forces herself into your nicely balanced life, punches you in the face until you are drunk enough not to know anything anymore and makes you helplessly addicted to her high. Unfortunately this bitch also has the habit of disappearing, leaving you with a half-beating shattered heart, and a painful anxiety that you would not even wish upon the devil himself. This is a very serious issue and I will be quite harsh in this article. It’s about survival and the necessity to heal and move on.

 

A few months ago, I met up with the girls for a delicious Sunday brunch. The door to the restaurant opened, and Jilli walked in, looking very upset. Her eyes were swollen, and she looked like she was about to collapse at any second. I felt my heart skip a beat because I knew something was very wrong. She looked up at us, her beautiful turquoise eyes filled with tears, and said, “We broke up.” I almost spilled my hot coffee allover myself. Jilli and her now “ex” boyfriend were our example that true love really does exist. My sunny-side up eggs arrived, but I couldn’t eat them. I took a bite and felt the egg sticking to my throat. I asked her what happened. This question made Jilli’s tears roll violently down her face, and she told us that he cheated on her in the cruelest way. It was emotional and psychological cheating. (Maybe even physical cheating, but she didn’t know for sure, because he was a liar!) He was chatting to other women on WhatsApp. He was also sending photo albums and writing love letters to his ex – saying what a good couple they still were, how much he missed her, was thinking about her and even crying because of these memories! He wrote the cheating letter a few hours before entering Jilli’s bed and having sex with her! He didn’t tell Jilli about this, he kept it a dark secret. How sick and cruel!

 

How could this person betray such a special love? She was ready to marry him and have his children. If the ex wouldn’t forward Jilli this email, she would never know that she was living with a betraying cheater! He had a long disgusting history of cheating. Actually he cheated on all his girlfriends, but Jilli thought that with her it would be different. She was terribly wrong! When Jilli confronted him about the cheating, he played the sick helpless victim role, saying how much he loved her, promising her lies in the air that he will never do it again, that he wants to marry her and she’s the only one for him! He even involved her mother, her best friend and his mother in his sick games! Blah, blah, blah, he said the same lying shit to his exes before. He said that he learned from his mistake, yet he did the same thing to Jilli! He said an emotional situation in the family made him write this email. Pathetic excuse! So what would happen now? Every time he had an emotional situation in his life, Jilli should be afraid that he would cheat on her again? She doesn’t need a weak man without a backbone! A snake doesn’t change its personality. I told Jilli, “Once a cheater, always a cheater!”

 

She asked me what to do, because she knows my story from many years ago. I’ve had my heart brutally destroyed once as well. Like Jilli, I thought that my world was demolished, and what I loved was being ripped out of my body alive. Months went by, and the pain did not subside. One day while crying in the kitchen, something strange happened; for a millisecond, I felt deep inside myself that if I wont finally deal with this crap, it will deal with me – in a very bad way. Constant painful emotions can lead to physical illness. The hard truth is that nobody needs a sick person. This brought out the fear, and self-protection in me, and I finally woke up. I entered survival-mode.

 

How did I heal my broken heart? I started loving myself more than I loved him. That’s it. That’s the trick. What does this mean? It means that soulmate or not, you have to take all the love you have for him, and turn it upon yourself, because you must survive this terror. You have no other choice, because if you don’t switch survival-mode on, this pain might destroy you. I have seen people turning to angry bitter monsters because of broken hearts. I have even heard of people falling into deep helpless depressions and not coming out of it for years! Is that what you want? To be stuck in hell for years obsessing about some jerk that cheated and doesn’t deserve you? That’s abandonment and betrayal and such a person is not entitled to your love – you are the one who deserves your love now!

 

Loving yourself more means living for yourself. Take the first few months to be selfish by doing what you want and when you want it. Your friends and family will understand if you explain to them. Learn to say “No” to others. Loving yourself is also controlling yourself – your thoughts and emotions. As soon as you think of how you miss him, counteract the thought with a thought of a bad thing that he did to you. Remember the bad stuff? It was not only rainbows. Loving yourself is being strong! You can cry for some weeks, but one day you have to get up, find your courage and start respecting yourself again. Loving yourself means fighting for yourself to become happy again. It means not letting yourself sink in the misery of your negative and depressive feelings. If he was weak and didn’t fight for you, doesn’t mean that you also have to be weak and not fight for yourself. If you have a dog or a child, would you allow someone to hurt them, while standing and watching? No! You would jump in, and save them from this evil. Well, imagine yourself jumping in and saving yourself. That’s what you have to do now, save yourself.

 

Life is too damn short to cry over idiots who take us for granted, cheat on us, don’t appreciate us and actually do not even deserve us. Never ever give your power away by letting someone bring you down so low, that you cannot feel “happiness” anymore. How the hell does he still deserve love from you after hurting you like that? He doesn’t deserve it and never will again. You deserve your own love now! ♥

 

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10 points to avoid falling for a player!

10 points to avoid falling for a player! 1200 400 Galia Brener

 

 

Welcome to an age where things move so fast, that even the aliens are almost ready to visit us. We live in a time where everyone is on the go, looking for bigger and better things. The ultimate career, the handsome alpha male husband, the top flawless figure, a bigger house, faster car, younger girlfriend – or maybe even two. The list goes on and on. More, bigger, faster, better. But in such a demanding and consuming society, where does this leave matters of the heart? Always wanting bigger and better, have we forgotten to slow down, smell the roses and fully open our hearts to true love?

 
My good friend Heather Klein is a very loving, sweet and sensitive girl. One evening we went out for drinks, and she met a handsome man. He was tall and muscular, had pitch-black hair like a raven, and yellow-green eyes. He looked like a supernatural Rembrandt painting. I found him to be very mysterious, but somewhat too “creepy” for my taste – it was his strange yellow eyes that made me feel almost uncomfortable. However Heather was mesmerized beyond belief by him. After a little while, the bartender served Heather a cold glass of champagne, compliments from “Mr. Raven” across the bar. Heather shot him a smile mixed with innocence and seduction – and so the game has begun. He came over to us, his eyes burning and fixated on Heather. They were inseparable the entire evening, talking about life, literature, art and their adventures. I was extremely happy to see an exuberant smile on Heather’s face, because it’s been a while since her ex cold-heatedly left her without looking back.

 
Heather and Mr. Raven started seeing each other. He took her out for nice dinners, dancing, and long walks along the river Main. Her feelings for him grew more intense each day, however there were things that bothered her. For example, there were days when he did not contact her at all, and if she would write him, it took a day or longer for him to answer, even though he was online quite often. He was never available for her on the weekends, and didn’t introduce her to any of his friends. He didn’t plan dates with her in advance, and usually just wrote text messages, asking her to meet with him spontaneously in the evening. It seemed like he had many other “engagements” to take care of simultaneously. She felt in her heart that he was a player, yet she liked him so much! Two weeks have passed, and she slept with him for the first time. After that romantic Saturday evening in bed, he left her flat early the next day. The dates became less frequent, and the month after he stopped writing her all together, saying that he had a new project at work which occupied most of his time.

 

Last week we were at the Sullivan Bar, and saw the “new project” that was occupying him. The project was tall, blonde, slim and very beautiful. He saw Heather from across the bar, but this time no champagne was sent to her. She only received a pitiful stare, which made her heart bleed from the sheer coldness of it. She came home with a heavily tear-stained face, and melted onto her historic polished wood floors. She couldn’t stop crying. Heather has been played in the cruelest way – by a man in disguise – pretending to look for love.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, “the player” comes in all forms, shapes and sizes – so be aware! Unfortunately for the kind and sweet ones, the ones who open up their heart and soul to these monsters, they don’t know what hit them until it’s too late. However, these creatures can be identified, if close attention is paid to these facts:

 
1. Communication is never constant with a player. One day you can be texting many times back and forth, and the next day or two you won’t hear a thing from them. They can be online, but won’t answer you.

2. They have many friends of the opposite sex. Of course they are only “friends”. Some might actually be friends, but most are usually the ones they are sleeping with.

3. They keep you waiting on hold, and don’t make dates with you in advance. They usually ask to see you last minute, and can cancel a date without proper notice. They only have time once or maximum twice a week to see you. Forget weekends with them – they have no time, or are gone.

4. They flirt with others in your presence.

5. Promises promises promises – without actions – just words.

6. They are not interested much about what’s going on in your life. They talk mainly about themselves, and don’t ask questions about you – they simply don’t care.

7. You haven’t met their friends – s/he doesn’t invite you when they are all out together.

8. They don’t share their life plans, goals and aspiration with you. Your interaction is kept on a superficial and sexual level.

9. They don’t pursue you, or make the effort to win you over. You are usually the one chasing them.

10.  They are not emotionally available and open to you. Usually they don’t want to cuddle and do romantic things with you.

 
Ladies and gentlemen, even though this sounds like a hard truth, there are ways to avoid this unnecessary heartbreak. Keep your eyes and ears open! Listen to what they say and make your assessment. Pay attention to your gut feeling, because usually deep down we know and feel when someone has genuine intentions for us, or just wants to play us. Don’t close your eyes on the small hints and signs. However, if you like this person and want more from them – communicate this! You have nothing to lose! Nothing tests a player better than telling them straightforward that you are not a person to be put on hold. Take a risk and say that you are not looking for a quick affair or easy sex, and see how they react. If they slowly disappear from your life, then you have your answer. What also works well is waiting to have sex. Players usually don’t stick around that long if they can’t see the potential of getting sex. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself, and if you see the warning signs, be smart and make the right decision. Life is too short to play games where someone ends up with pain – and it’s never the player that gets hurt!

 

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The magic of letting go!

The magic of letting go! 1200 400 Galia Brener

Letting go is one of the hardest yet important things to do. This can be difficult for some people, like myself, because us sensitive types feel emotions quite deeply, we are loyal, compassionate, empathetic and caring. We often take things too closely to the heart, get hurt very easily and sometimes carry the sorrows of the world upon our shoulders. We tend to worry a lot, get offended, and in general, allow people to hurt us. The way I see it is that we emotional/sensitive types have a big karmic lesson to learn: to take things easier and learn the magic of letting go!

 

Do you have difficulties to let things go? For example, you hear that someone said something bad about you that you don’t deserve. Or when you have an argument with your partner, you might be tempted to go on fighting until s/he realizes that you are right, and not them. Maybe you had a painful breakup, or you do something really wonderful for someone, and they don’t appreciate it. You have a fight with your mom or best friend, your boss screams at you for no apparent reason, you get shoved hard on the train and fall down. Or the guy you really like has not called back in over two weeks after your date. Whatever the case is, it will gnaw at you until you manage to let it go.

 

My friend Gloria went through a rough breakup last year. It was terrible and unfortunately she hasn’t managed to become her usual happy-self ever since. She thought he was the love of her life and that they would get married one day. It turned out that he showed his true nature after two years, and was a complete opposite of whom she met and initially fell in love with. He had serious addictions, was short-tempered and treated her quite badly the last half a year they were together. She tried to do everything to save the relationship. However, the more she gave, the more he took, and the meaner he was to her. She couldn’t handle the pain anymore and forced herself to split up with him. This was a very tough decision and went against her heart, but she knew that it was the only way to survive his terror.

 

The following months were a complete shock for Gloria. She lost 10 kg and couldn’t deal with the fact that they were apart and he turned out to be someone completely different. Gloria hoped that his deep inner “goodness” would win over, and realize that he pushed away his best friend, and the only person who truly loved and cared about him. She was much closer to him than his family was. He always said that he felt at home with her and that she was his family. Words of truth? Or a sick game? To make a sad story short, it has been a while and she still didn’t get over it. She simply can’t let go. There are good men lining up for her and she is stuck on a guy who was terrible to her! Gloria told me that she would love him until the end of time. The problem is that if she doesn’t let go, she wont be able to move on and be open for a man who will truly love her. She is missing out on some good chances to be very happy!

 

By letting go, it does not mean that you are weak, and allowing the other to win and take control. Quite the opposite actually. By letting go, you are being smart and loving yourself. Bad people come into our lives as a test for us to see how we deal with such creatures and situations. They will “try” to tease, hurt, harass, manipulate and sometimes even destroy us. However, how deep you allow them to penetrate you is in your own control. Once you clearly see that this person or situation is bad for you, then it’s your job to walk away and not allow them to harm you. Even if they managed to get into your heart, the only way to rid yourself of their poison is by letting go. The power is yours. I think it’s time to turn on our survival instincts, and learn the magic of letting go. Do yourself a favor and let go in order to make place for the good things to come into your life. Holding onto these people and situations is the same as willingly holding onto parasites that you know are destroying your body. That’s sick!

 

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You’re having an affair?

You’re having an affair? 514 193 Galia Brener
We live in a world where things move faster than the speed of light – unfortunately sometimes, even love as well. Values are being replaced with smartphones, and morals are sniffed up the nose in forms of white powders. Wives cheat on Tinder, and husbands run to prostitutes. What is left from the old-fashioned thing, once called “true love”? I’m sure you have all heard of horror stories about affairs amongst your friends, or have seen it in movies. So I ask myself, how many of those cheating affairs actually have a happy ending?

My friend Gloria met a man two years ago. “B-Liar” was exceptionally handsome, tall with dark blond hair and piercing blue eyes. He was very charming, and quite the smooth operator. He was flawless, and even more beautiful than the painting of Dorian Gray. Oscar Wilde would do flips in the air if he saw B-Liar. He was quite generous, and invited Gloria on a holiday the first month they met. She noticed that he always put his phone face down on the table, and kept it on silent or closed most of the time. She didn’t think much of it, only that he was trying to spend quality time with her, without interruptions. Yeah right. When they came back, he spent many wonderful evenings in her flat, but always left early in the morning and never had much time on the weekends for her – saying that he’s busy, or must work at the office during the weekend. He also never took her to his flat – making an excuse that it’s being renovated, and that he lives in a hotel at the “moment”. The months passed by and she was already very deeply in love with him. She said, “Gali, I know that he’s the one! I feel it so deep inside, I’m sure of it!”

One evening, I was at the beautiful Christmas market in Frankfurt, enjoying a hot warm glass of Feuerzangenbowle with the girls. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mr. B-Liar walk by, hugging Gloria. As I was approaching them from behind, I saw that they started kissing very passionately in front of the Christmas tree. I was so happy for my dear Gloria. Being the silly monkey that I am, I jumped on her and gave her a huge bear hug from behind. What happened next was the shock of a lifetime for me! She turned around, and it was not Gloria! She looked at me like I just dropped down form the moon, and I accidentally spilled my entire Feuerzangenbowle on B-Liar. He introduced her as his wife, and I was shocked and speechless! He looked very scared and begged me with his eyes not to say anything. His wife was very confused, and I realized it was time to make my exit. I told the girls I have to leave, and went straight to Gloria’s flat. I felt so miserable. How the hell should I tell my good friend such horrendous news, when she thinks he’s the one? I bought a bottle of Belvedere on the way, because I knew this would be a tough evening for my poor sweet darling.

I told Gloria that B-Liar is married. It hurt me so much to see the gruesome pain settle in her eyes and heart. It was a gut-wrenching night, one of the worst I’ve ever had. I have never heard someone cry with so much agony. How could he have hidden it for so many months from her? Of course he tried to blind her with the usual, “I don’t love her anymore, and we don’t have sex at all. It’s too expensive to get a divorce at the moment. I will leave her soon, you’re the only one for me. I love you so much baby” bullshit! However, Gloria loved him to death, and couldn’t let him go. He showered her with promises to leave his wife. She waited and waited, and wanted him even more. She cries often now, and happiness has not visited her heart for a while. She is living on standby. It’s horrific to see my friend so broken! I tell her to leave him, and stop this insanity at once! But she doesn’t, because he promised to be with her. Well, it’s been almost two years now and nothing has changed. Gloria is the other woman. His promises are empty, and only fuel her false hope of a happy future together. But like with most affair cases, he will never leave his family.

Ladies, and also gentlemen – it happens often the other way around as well – please save yourself the excruciating pain, and don’t get involved with a married person. Very rarely do these people leave their partners for their lovers. And if they do, there is a huge chance that s/he will cheat on you as well – once a cheater, always a cheater. Besides, you don’t want to be that bitch who broke up a family and brought evil into someone’s life. This is bad karma – and you don’t want to mess with that. I read somewhere that karma-wise, if you have and affair with a married person, the same can come back to you later on, and your future partner might have an affair as well. That’s horrible, and you don’t need this to happen to you. There are enough single people out there these days for us. If you are dating someone and didn’t know about this, like Gloria, my advice would be to stop the affair right away. Sure you will miss them, and feel pain for a while, but it’s a pain with an end, rather than being stuck in an affair with endless pain. You will eventually get over it and move on. If you stay in the affair, you will block your possibility of finding true love with someone that can actually be yours! No good comes out of affairs, and almost all of them have a very bitter ending. Life is short, is that what you wish for yourself? Make yourself available for the one who will be “your” sweetheart. Don’t you deserve the best?

Damaged from past relationships?

Damaged from past relationships? 1354 437 Galia Brener

It seems to me lately that more and more people are very careful about opening their hearts to new love. I have been speaking to many who have had painful experiences in the past, which have completely destroyed their ability to believe in love again, and take the chance to start a new happy and healthy relationship. So as I sit here on the river main, gazing onto the crystal water, I ask myself, if everyone is protecting themselves like a snowman from the sun, and sheltering their hearts from love bombs, then how the hell can we ever experience true love again?

I have been continuing my research on Tinder for the past month, and what can I tell you ladies, if you think that we are the only ones that have been damaged from past love, then you are incredibly wrong! It is unbelievable how many men I have come across on Tinder that have been slaughtered due to bad relationships. Me being the spy that I am – although with this article my cover is blown – I engaged in conversations with different men about love and relationships. What I learned is that the single ones that want a fling or just fast sex, are the ones that got brutally hurt in the past and don’t have the courage to stand up to love again. The ones that are looking for a relationship may have been hurt in the past as well, but nevertheless possess the strength to try the “big love” again!

I always say, “Love is only for the very strong and brave”. Why? Quite simple, because many people cannot open up their hearts again after being burned by love. They shut down, or otherwise known as “get bitter” and protect themselves like a bulletproof car in a mafia movie. No love bullets can enter their hearts. Sealed, protected and unreachable. In my opinion, this is a great weakness. How could someone shut themself off from a possibility at finding love again? I think that love is the main reason for life. Not success, money, or collecting possessions – nothing is as pure and wonderful as having a true love in your life, so why deprive yourself of the chances to find this?

You must be thinking, “Oh yes Gali, but you don’t know what I have been through, and how painful it was.” But dear readers I do. I have also loved, truly loved, more than the air I breathed. My boyfriend at that time was my best friend, partner in crime, lover and the closest person to my heart and soul. I have never loved anyone as much as him before. We were intoxicated by each other, and his closeness brought me happiness. We spent almost every second we had together, like Bonnie and Clyde. We had so many adventures, where I can write an entire book about it. But one day we broke up. I thought that the Earth would swallow me whole. I was numb, and couldn’t feel anything for months. I locked myself at home, didn’t go anywhere, and lost lots of weight. My world crashed, and I didn’t know how to go on. It was torture.

One day I simply got physically tired of crying over and over again. I was scared that the emotional pain in my heart would turn to a physical one, so I decided to drop the victim role. I had a desire to live, to feel and to truly love again. I wanted to wake up from this horror and join the living again, and so my sense of survival kicked in. I realized that I loved him, but I love myself more. I didn’t want to deprive myself of new love. What for? For a man that didn’t deserve me and made my life miserable at the end? Why cry, and who will appreciate my tears? He definitely wouldn’t. So it was obviously time to move on.

Take the proper time to lick your wounds after a love war, but then move on! I know people that get stuck in love pain for years. These poor souls are torturing themselves for nothing, when they can have love and enjoy life again! Don’t punish yourself, because time runs faster than you think. I realize now how silly I was to cry for so long about a person that didn’t even appreciate me. Please learn from my mistakes and wake up from your bad dream. There is so much beauty, love and joy out there for you to have! There is someone special for everyone, so at least make the effort to open up your heart again in order to meet this person. Love is the most amazing and precious thing in this world, and after going through this horror, I can say that for me it’s worth taking that risk again. The next time you might get lucky and meet the right one, so why miss out on that special chance? Love is only for the very strong and brave – because only the tough ones can get back up and love again!

Better single than to be together with an idiot

Better single than to be together with an idiot 1354 437 Galia Brener

If you happen to be single right now, you probably have a few moments that pass by when you feel lonely, or might be longing for love and affection. The good news is that this is absolutely normal!

No, you are not desperate or pathetic! Every human being wants to be loved and cherished. It’s human nature to want to have someone by your side to lean on and love, rather than being alone. However, sometimes having “someone” by your side comes with a price that you might not want to pay. The question is, how much negativity are you willing to take just so that you are in a relationship, and not alone? Keep in mind that being single does not necessarily mean being “alone”.

My close friend Claudia went through something which proved that being single is not as bad at it may sound. She was together with her ex for a few years. When they first met, it was love at first sight. She was absolutely sure that he was her soulmate, and the man that she has been waiting her entire life for. In the beginning he romanced and charmed her beyond belief. He did everything to make her his woman, and spent every spare moment he had with her. Of course she was on cloud nine because she never thought that love could be this wonderful and intense. After only a few months, they moved in together, and she couldn’t believe how lucky she was. All her friends said that they were a dream couple. He was tall, blonde and handsome, and she looked like a fair princess beside him, also quite tall with dark brown hair and a beautiful slim figure. Wherever they went, heads would turn everywhere, and all of the attention was always on them. They were literally like a couple out of a fairytale.

The first year went by wonderfully, but towards the end of the year, the fights have started and they had unfortunate miscommunication issues. Both of them were very proud and admitting their fault was quite difficult. He was 10 years older than her, and had a nasty stubborn attitude at times. As the second year went by, it got to a point where he was simply mean to her. He didn’t respect her opinion anymore, and didn’t advise with her on the important things in his life, which made her feel stupid and useless. He didn’t want to cuddle with her, and the sex became very rare. He was quickly annoyed and aggravated by her words, and kept her on a very short leash, always getting moody when he didn’t like something. It became intolerable to live with him. She cried very often, and they got to the point where they fought every day. All she wanted was some love and attention back from him, but the more effort she made to get closer to him, the more he backed off. It seemed like he was not planning her into his life anymore. He was simply shutting her out, and just didn’t seem to love her anymore. He said there was no one else, but she never really found out. Eventually they broke up, and her heart was shattered into miniscule pieces. She heard that a few months later, he had already found a new woman – an unattractive grey mouse that didn’t even come close in comparison with her!

As hard as it was for Claudia, she was forced to move on. I told her to take her time, and find peace inside of her heart again, but she was desperate to move on quickly, and avoid being alone. I told her that she was not alone – she had her family and friends. But no, she wanted a new boyfriend as soon as possible just to avoid being single at all costs. And so she met a new guy. When she introduced him to us, I felt that there was something not honest about him. He was incredible good looking, but that seemed to be the only thing he had going for him. It turned out that I was right, because he was a player. He didn’t make enough time to see her, only once a week. Every time she wrote him, it would take him a day or three to answer. He made it a habit to disappear on the weekends, and never invited her to join him. He didn’t invite her with his friends, and she never met his family. She was even more miserable being stuck with the second man now who was simply not good enough for her. I told her to leave him behind and come back to herself again. She needed time for her emotions to stabilize again so that she could be happy, healthy and strong just by being single, and not desperately needing a man by her side.

Ladies and gentlemen, trust me, it’s better being single than together with an idiot that doesn’t respect, love or deserve you. And even after a breakup, take the time to be on your own, rather than jump on the next “thing” that comes along. Take the time to enjoy your life, meet your friends, spend time with your family, travel, take care of your body, and do the things you never had time for when you were in a relationship. There is really no need to rush – and take just “anyone” who is much below your standards. I have heard of men who take a complete opposite of their ex girlfriend – someone who might be a more “motherly-figure”, older, not so pretty or dynamic, who doesn’t care about her appearance and food consumption. Many men downgrade into a comfort zone to get over an ex that they couldn’t keep up with, or live in her shadow. That’s really sad. So my suggestion is to really take your time and not rush into something that’s only half decent than you are used to. Enjoy being single, and your fabulous life! Do yourself a favor – don’t ever settle for second best!

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