It seems to me lately that more and more people are very careful about opening their hearts to new love. I have been speaking to many who have had painful experiences in the past, which have completely destroyed their ability to believe in love again, and take the chance to start a new happy and healthy relationship. So as I sit here on the river main, gazing onto the crystal water, I ask myself, if everyone is protecting themselves like a snowman from the sun, and sheltering their hearts from love bombs, then how the hell can we ever experience true love again?
I have been continuing my research on Tinder for the past month, and what can I tell you ladies, if you think that we are the only ones that have been damaged from past love, then you are incredibly wrong! It is unbelievable how many men I have come across on Tinder that have been slaughtered due to bad relationships. Me being the spy that I am – although with this article my cover is blown – I engaged in conversations with different men about love and relationships. What I learned is that the single ones that want a fling or just fast sex, are the ones that got brutally hurt in the past and don’t have the courage to stand up to love again. The ones that are looking for a relationship may have been hurt in the past as well, but nevertheless possess the strength to try the “big love” again!
I always say, “Love is only for the very strong and brave”. Why? Quite simple, because many people cannot open up their hearts again after being burned by love. They shut down, or otherwise known as “get bitter” and protect themselves like a bulletproof car in a mafia movie. No love bullets can enter their hearts. Sealed, protected and unreachable. In my opinion, this is a great weakness. How could someone shut themself off from a possibility at finding love again? I think that love is the main reason for life. Not success, money, or collecting possessions – nothing is as pure and wonderful as having a true love in your life, so why deprive yourself of the chances to find this?
You must be thinking, “Oh yes Gali, but you don’t know what I have been through, and how painful it was.” But dear readers I do. I have also loved, truly loved, more than the air I breathed. My boyfriend at that time was my best friend, partner in crime, lover and the closest person to my heart and soul. I have never loved anyone as much as him before. We were intoxicated by each other, and his closeness brought me happiness. We spent almost every second we had together, like Bonnie and Clyde. We had so many adventures, where I can write an entire book about it. But one day we broke up. I thought that the Earth would swallow me whole. I was numb, and couldn’t feel anything for months. I locked myself at home, didn’t go anywhere, and lost lots of weight. My world crashed, and I didn’t know how to go on. It was torture.
One day I simply got physically tired of crying over and over again. I was scared that the emotional pain in my heart would turn to a physical one, so I decided to drop the victim role. I had a desire to live, to feel and to truly love again. I wanted to wake up from this horror and join the living again, and so my sense of survival kicked in. I realized that I loved him, but I love myself more. I didn’t want to deprive myself of new love. What for? For a man that didn’t deserve me and made my life miserable at the end? Why cry, and who will appreciate my tears? He definitely wouldn’t. So it was obviously time to move on.
Take the proper time to lick your wounds after a love war, but then move on! I know people that get stuck in love pain for years. These poor souls are torturing themselves for nothing, when they can have love and enjoy life again! Don’t punish yourself, because time runs faster than you think. I realize now how silly I was to cry for so long about a person that didn’t even appreciate me. Please learn from my mistakes and wake up from your bad dream. There is so much beauty, love and joy out there for you to have! There is someone special for everyone, so at least make the effort to open up your heart again in order to meet this person. Love is the most amazing and precious thing in this world, and after going through this horror, I can say that for me it’s worth taking that risk again. The next time you might get lucky and meet the right one, so why miss out on that special chance? Love is only for the very strong and brave – because only the tough ones can get back up and love again!