PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE

It’s so exciting, you met a really great guy, and things are going so well! After work, you can hardly wait to rush into his arms, hug him and spend a romantic evening together. You have butterflies in your stomach, and secretly jump up and down for joy, when no one’s watching. Everything is perfect! Having a new boyfriend is exhilarating, because everything is so new and fresh. You enjoy getting to know each other, spending hours kissing and having sex. It’s the love drug, and the high is fantastic! As the months go by, you spend more time together, until eventually you spend every evening together, and usually the weekends as well. The problem is that in this situation, many girls forget something very important in their lives – their girlfriends! The love of true girlfriends is unconditional, and most of the time, it outlasts romantic love.

Half a year ago, my friend Ambrosia met the love of her life, Antonio. It was an instantaneous connection! A few days after they met, they were already spending every evening together. They did everything together, and were literally inseparable! Weeks, turned into months, and our friend was nowhere to be found. I was aware that she had her dream man, and wanted to spend every waking moment with him, but of course we all missed her very much. We talked on the phone once in a while, but it was simply not the same. One of our friends got quite upset with Ambrosia, because she did not think it’s correct that she abandoned her friends as soon as she meet a man. I could understand them both, especially Ambrosia, because I am myself guilty of doing this in the past. Suddenly one day, we received a call from Ambrosia in tears of agony that they spilt up. Of course we went to her as soon as possible. We comforted and took care of her, and she felt very sorry that she abandoned us. Eventually, she got back together with Antonio, but she realized that during such a tough time when Antonio left her all alone, she had her dear friends to love and take care of her. She never made such a terrible mistake ever again.

¬The most wonderful thing about your girlfriends, especially the closest ones, is that they offer you unconditional love. This is something that should be appreciated and cherished. I know that with my girls, no matter how silly I get, or if I do something embarrassing or wrong, they are always there for me. I am very lucky and grateful that I have such wonderful women by my side! Your best girlfriends will accept you as you are, even when you are down at your worst state. This is not something that every man is willing to do. Unconditional love is a precious gift that is not given too often. Many men are willing to love you upon their own terms and conditions, but your girls will love you as you are. Who was there to hear you cry and complain about your ex over and over again? Or listen about the backstabbing bitch at work? They will always be the first ones to bring you a warm chicken soup when you’re sick, help you out with financial troubles, or hold your hand through a hard time in your life. Don’t neglect your friends, because it could be emotionally dangerous if you are left all alone.

My advice is that Girls’ nights are a must! These moments are incredibly fun, heart-warming, and allow you to spend some quality time with the people who care deeply for you – your loving girls. This is healthy for a romantic relationship as well. It allows your partner to have some “me time” and also miss you. You had your own life before he came, and you should continue being independent during the relationship as well. Men need to feel that they are still the hunters, so let him hunt for you, even if you are together for a while. Show him that you stand on your own two feet, and have other people that love you as well.

In my opinion, the worse thing that can happen is: you meet a guy, fall madly in love, drift way from your friends, and if your partner decides to breakup, you end up completely alone. No one will be by your side, and hold you when you cry, because you neglected everyone when you were with your guy. How horrible would that be? Sure your family may also be there for you, but it is not exactly the same. You connect with your girls in a different way than with relatives. You share more secrets, and experience special moments together that you couldn’t do with your mom or dad. Your closest girls are very precious, and must be reminded of how important they are for you. So please after reading this column, call or write one of your best girlfriends, and tell them how much you appreciate your friendship, and are happy to have them in your life. Besides, men die younger than us, and who is left there after all these years to move as slow as snails together, with dentures, walking sticks and purple hair? Your loving girlfriends!

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To forgive or not to forgive, that is the question. We have all experienced hurts and unfair blows towards us, that leave us painfully asking ourselves: Why me? What did I do to deserve this from him/her? We can spend weeks thinking about why this happened. We feel confused, sad, and then angry! We swear to never open up to anyone again. We stay at home alone, licking our wounds, protecting ourselves from the world. Never ever again, we say. However, unless they have tried to physically kill you, forgiveness is the only functioning therapy that you can give your heart, mind and soul.

The best reason to forgive is for your own good! Do it firstly for yourself, and not the other person. As soon as you truly forgive, a large stone falls off of your chest, and you feel much lighter, and breath easier. Congratulations, you have released yourself from being your own victim. This doesn’t mean that you have to talk to the person again, but the fact that you let go of the betrayal, means that you moved on. This is very good for your karma, because you release the anger inside of you. Think of it as releasing poison from your body. And yes, you can be egoistic at times, and forgive someone for your own sake, and not theirs.

Of course you must realize that it’s not just about those big life-shattering betrayals. It’s also about those fights with your partner, parents or best friend. Those small arguments count just as much. You must be open enough to be able to forgive the ones you love. Everyone makes mistakes, and most likely, it was not done upon you from an evil heart. Throughout the years, I have come to realize that when someone I love apologizes to me, I must accept the apology and be able to let the anger go. Of course if the offense is not a drastic one, than accepting an apology and forgiving is the right thing to do.

A friend of mine told me a story last week, which fits quite perfectly. Heather and her boyfriend were away on holiday. On their last day, he woke up early, and was fidgeting around in bed. He got up, walked around the room, got back into bed, moved around and around, and got up and down again. Then he turned on the laptop and started watching a movie. Obviously this woke Heather up, and she was extremely tired. They have gotten to bed quite late the night before. All she wanted to do was sleep and rest. Her man complained that he was hungry and tried to hurry Heather to get up and get ready. Of course she got up and was pissed off at him, eyes half shut, tired beyond belief. She was grouchy, and showed it to him. He kept on pushing her to hurry, and she screamed at him to stop it! She was not even fully awake. Again she screamed quite rudely at him to stop. Instantly she felt bad for it. He gave her such a nice holiday. On their way to town for breakfast, she apologized twice for raising her voice at him. No reaction. At breakfast he was distant and silent. Heather thought to herself that instead of this childish cold-treatment, she could have been resting in bed now. They headed to the beach, and still no peace in sight. After two hours, she had enough of this crap, and said to him, “Why can’t you simply let it go? This is our last day here, and I have apologized twice to you already! Your ego is so dominating that you would rather ruin this entire day, instead of forgiving me, letting the crap go, and enjoying yourself as well!” After a few minutes, he turned to her and said that she was right. They kissed, and made up, and had the best day of their entire holiday. He annoyed her, she screamed, she apologized, and a while after he forgave her. Sound familiar?

What usually helps me is this thought: what if I never see this person ever again? What if you had a fight with your partner, he goes to work, has a car crash and dies? You will never ever see him again. Would you ever forgive yourself for parting ways in such anger? You would give anything to hug and kiss him again. Remember this for the rest of your life. A schoolmate of mine fought one morning with her sister, but she never came home from school that day. The woman still carries a hole in her heart larger than the Pacific Ocean. Our loved ones will not always be there with us. So think about it, was a fight that you recently had really worth it?

I am not suggesting to be a doormat, and allow everyone to walk allover you, but try to choose your battles wisely, and see what is really worth arguing about. Life is so damn short, so why make it more complicated for ourselves and loved ones? Live with an open and forgiving heart. Unless the damage is huge beyond repair, try to forgive others. Not only will you heal your own soul, you will also give them another chance to prove themselves, and love you more. I know it’s sometimes hard, but it’s even harder to never see your loved one again, or have the chance to forgive them for their silly error. Be kind and forgive, because everyone makes mistakes, including you.

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Have you ever wondered why some girls meet a new guy, and everything works out quite quickly? In a matter of months they get engaged and start a wonderful life together. Well, it’s not just about getting lucky; it’s about meeting a man in his right time. I call it the “window” because every man has his window, or time frame when he meets a woman and is willing to get married and start a family. So girls, keep your eyes open for a good man who has an open window for you!

This reminds me of a situation with a friend’s cousin. He was dating a great girl for over 6 years. She was waiting for the moment when he asks her to marry him, but unfortunately it did not come. He was even mean enough to ask her to loose weight. When I heard this story, this made me so angry! But she complied with his request, and looked even more beautiful after. Of course after everything, she continued to wait and wait. One summer day he was invited to go out with his buddies, and he met a woman. He was fascinated by her, and couldn’t stay away from this woman for more than a day! He was very mesmerized by her character and values. He broke up with his girlfriend and moved in with this new woman within a month! 6 months later he asked her to marry him. Now they live in a nice house, happier than ever. His ex was devastatingly heartbroken. I asked him why he didn’t marry his ex? He said that he was not ready. And after half a year, he was ready to marry this new girl. He said something changed within this year, and he felt that he was ready. Granted, the new girl was different. She was independent and very unique, and she met him at the right time. She caught him when his window was open.

Lately I find myself asking, where is the fairness in this? One woman wastes years and years on a man, and the other meets a man and gets married within months. But now I realized that it’s not about the luck, it’s all about the timing! I for example, would not find it possible to date someone for 5 years without knowing that it would lead somewhere. This is simply a waste of time, and girls we know, we are not getting younger. So why waste your time with a man that doesn’t plan a future with you? Sure, there are rare cases when you date a man forever and suddenly he decides to make a true commitment and get married. But unfortunately I hear of more cases where nothing happens after years, and eventually the couples break up, like the story of my friend’s cousin.

My advice would be to talk about this earlier on in the relationship. Open communication is extremely important. It’s crucial to say what you want, without being scared to lose your partner. After a year, you should be able to tell your man where you see this relationship going. A friend of mine told her boyfriend of a year that she is not the kind of girl that can date someone for years and years without a true commitment. She let him know earlier on what she expects from their partnership. After a half a year he asked her to marry him, because he knew that she would not waste her time. He knew that if he wanted her in his life, he would have to make the next step, and so he did! He did not feel pressured, he was simply ready for this next step, and he did it.

Ladies, please do not fear to lose your man. Be brave enough to tell him what you want. And realistically speaking, if he truly loves you, he will want to spend the rest of his life with you. If he respects you, he will not make you wait for 7 years before giving you a ring. But sometimes men also need a little push. Not an aggressive demand, but a hint that you can imagine more with him. This also shows him that you are a serious girl. In the worst-case scenario, you are stuck at 40 years of age with a man that you have dated for 7 years without a serious commitment. Why put yourself through this? Of course not everyone wants to get married, but many women do, so why restrict yourself? Your life is in your hands, so why not make the best out of it? What you decide for yourself is how you will live your life, so please choose well!

Ladies I can only say that we must speak up for ourselves. We have the possibility to say what we want, and when we want it. The biggest mistake to make is not to communicate what you want. To sit and wait for years is not a solution. But unfortunately not everyone has the power to speak up. Many are scared if they say what they think, the man will feel pushed and back out of the relationship. But then again, can you afford to date someone for years, and not speak your mind and express your desires? Life is short, and time flies by. So please don’t make this mistake by dragging out a relationship too long, and losing the right time to make the next Step. This is also a test to see how much your man truly loves you. If a man has a strong love for his woman, then he will definitely want to make her the mother of his children. If not, then it will take him ages to marry her, and there is actually no reassurance that he will marry her at all. It’s like playing Russian roulette, so why take the risk? Talk to him, and see where it is all going. Don’t be afraid, if he truly loves you, then he will understand. If not, then be happy to get rid if him. Why give yourself to a man that doesn’t appreciate it? Catch the man at the right time, and start a wonderful life together. You definitely deserve it. If you respect yourself, then so will he. Girls it’s all about the right timing. You do not have to give up your dream of marriage and family. Have faith that you deserve the best, and it will come to you. Never sell yourself for less than you deserve. And don’t forget…keep your eyes open for the right man who has an open window!

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You have all heard of her. She hides in the shadows and waits for “those people” to pass by. Then suddenly she leaps out and bites them in the ass, with her sharp metal teeth, ripping through their flesh and bones. She has no mercy, and she always locates her “targets”. Her name is Karma, and she never attacks innocent victims. She only hunts for those who deserve it, and she has a bloody long list with names on it.

You have probably asked yourself before, “Why is it that some people do really bad things in their lives, and not get punished for it? So many get away with almost murder, and nothing happens to them!” We have all heard of stories where he cheated on her with her best friend, someone stole money, or another simply came, used and left. Veni Vidi Vici. So what happens to those people? Do they simply continue to live their lives, enjoying their rotten behavior? Or does karma eventually catch up with them, and make them wish that they would rather be buried alive? Well, from all of the stories that I have heard in the past, most of these leeches eventually get what they deserve. One day, they are confronted by the devil and he says, “God is busy right now, but may I help you?” They say… yes.

The incredible thing about this Karma Lady is that she doesn’t miss anyone. She knows exactly when and where. So if those suckers that cause misery and pain to others think that they can get away with their actions, they have a big surprise waiting for them. If you’ve been hurt by someone, do not plan a revenge. Sit back and let karma do her work. She gets paid quite well for it! Besides, you don’t want to get your hands dirty in the process. If you strike back, then you are also doing something vicious, and you might be her next victim. So don’t go down to this dirty level. Stay clean, and be a child of light – and believe me, you will get rewarded for it.

My friend Jilli is the best example for this. Last year she was dating a man that she loved. She though that he could be the one! She invested much time and effort in the relationship. Everything was going well, or so she thought. From one day to the other, he simply became colder and distant to her. She didn’t know what she did to deserve this cold treatment from him. Everything was so amazing in the beginning, and of course like many women, she blamed herself for maybe doing something wrong to deserve this. The more she tried to communicate with him, and be sweeter to him, the more distant he became. Until one evening, she got the shock of her life. As her boyfriend was in the shower, he got a text message from a woman named Sandra. His phone was on the table right beside Jilli, and she saw the entire message without opening his phone. It said, “Darling, when are you coming over? I love you so much, and can’t wait until you move in!” Jilli felt like she was just shot in her chest. The life was sucked out of her body, and she couldn’t breathe, she felt like she was suffocating. The idiot came out of the shower, and saw Jilli fighting for air. He helped her, but his eyes and touch were those from a hating enemy. She did not recognize this stranger in front of her anymore. But she didn’t know that he hated himself for doing this, and not her.

It turned out that he has been cheating on her for quite a while now. He met Sandra on an evening night out with the boys at the Friedberger Markt. Jilli was broken into a million pieces. Her pain was deeper than flesh wounds. “Why me?” she asked herself. She is such a warm, loving, good-hearted person. Why did this happen to her? She said that karma and life is not fair, and only the good ones suffer. I calmed her down over and over again for months, and assured her that everything will be set right, and that karma will take care of what needs to be done! To make a very sad and long story short, her moron of an ex moved in with Sandra. After a few months, he did something terribly illegal, and lost his entire company. He went bankrupt, and lost everything. And the cherry on top of the Ice Cream was that Sandra left him a few weeks after he lost all of his money!

Half a year later, Jilli met her soul mate, Leo, and finally found her true love. He was the man that her ex could never have been. They moved in together, and are now happier than ever. A few weeks ago, her ex contacted her, and asked to meet her. She said that she had no interest in seeing him ever again. He said that he still loves her, and wants to get back together with her. She told him to go to hell, where he belongs. Last week Jilli and I were having dinner, and she reminded me about what I told her. Just as I said, Karma jumped in to do her work. Jilli was doing better than ever, and the rotten ex boyfriend was paying big time for his evil actions. He was broke, sick and looking worse than ever. Poor man, he sold his soul a long time ago.

Karma is a very fair player. She never cheats. Good deeds will bring good rewards. Evil deeds will bring misery, pain and suffering. If you make an investment, then of course you expect it to be a good one, and get the best return on it. This applies to stocks and real estate, but it’s also the rule of life. There is no action without reaction. That’s the law of the universe. At the end of the day, it is all up to you. You want to live a good, happy, fun and healthy life? Then treat yourself and others accordingly. Be fair, kind, caring and loving. Be good boys and girls, or else karma will come hunting for you next… and she will attack, and you don’t want that ;-)

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As Claudia slowly opened the door, she hardly saw any light inside. It was a strange room, because all of the walls were made out of black stone. There were real fire torches on each wall, and the floor was laid out in dark wood. There was an enormous crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling. To Claudia, this was the most beautiful room in the entire club. It could have been a room in a castle from the 18th century. It was mysterious, and very alluring.

In the middle of the room was a bed with a canopy. There were curtains around the bed, and three of the sides were closed. Claudia’s curiosity was killing her! As she got near the bed, she heard a whip, and a woman’s voice moaning with pleasure. Claudia opened the curtains, and inside she saw two women and a man. All were wearing leather masks, which hid their faces. The woman getting whipped, was lying down on her stomach. She had a beautiful red corset on, high heels, and nothing else. The woman whipping her had the exact same outfit on, and they appeared to be twins. Same hair and eye color, same lips, and the same mysterious, wild look in their eyes. The girls were on fire!

A young man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching them with admiration, and stroking the bulge in his pants. After the many glasses of champagne that Claudia drank with Vin, she wasn’t sure if she was in a dream or reality. It seemed so dark, so foreign to her, yet so enticing! She was surprised at how strong and sensually her body was reacting to the twin ladies in front of her. The man didn’t turn her on in particular, but watching the one twin whipping the other, was very exciting! “Bad, dirty girl”, thought Claudia to herself. This was the first time that she was experiencing this side of herself, and she liked it. She didn’t feel like her usual conservative, well-behaving, sweet self. Tonight she was the wild, exotic and frisky Claudia. Who knew that she would find this here, in her beloved Frankfurt?

The whipping twin shot Claudia a glance and gave her a kinky smile. “Would you like to experience this exquisite pleasure?” She asked. You only live once, maybe twice if you’re a bad girl, thought Claudia. She opened her mouth, and said, “Yes!” as if someone else was speaking through her mouth. She couldn’t believe what she has just agreed to! All of a sudden everything seemed to happen in slow motion. The twin got off the bed, and gave her sister a forbidden kiss. The twins were reaching out for Claudia and helped her get onto the bed. They placed her on her stomach, and both started to caress her, in places where she has never been touched by a woman before.

After a while, the bad twin picked up the soft leather whip, and started to tease Claudia with it. She touched her in all of the right places, and Claudia squirmed with excitement and shivers. The woman slowly started whipping her curvy bottom. At first Claudia laughed, because she felt like a naughty school girl, and thought to herself how ridiculous this might seem from the outside. But eventually she gave in, and enjoyed the way her body responded to it. She looked around, but did not see Vin anywhere. She just lay there, allowing the twins to work her, and waited for Vin to come back. The whipping got a bit harder, and Claudia rolled back her eyes, enjoying every nerve ending on her body. The twin reached with her hand and whip into the most sensitive parts of Claudia’s body, and with every stroke, she felt herself coming closer to heaven. She let go of all inhibitions. The other twin tied a silk scarf on Claudia’s eyes, whispering into her ear to enjoy the moment, and let go.

Claudia heard Vin’s voice back in the room. He said how beautiful she looked, and that he is the luckiest man in the world to have such a wonderful woman by his side. Hearing this, Claudia melted into the bed, and felt so alive and sexy, like never before. She felt a male hand around her waist, hugging her, and pulling her closer to him. The twins were still touching her. He gently lowered Claudia onto him, and she felt the familiar heat and tightness inside of her. She felt so lucky to be with Vin. She kissed him on the lips and told him how much she loved him. Immediately, she realized that something was strange. He did not smell like Vin. His lips were not the same as Vin’s, and his hands felt somehow different. She knew that something was very wrong! She ripped off the blindfold, and saw that it was not Vin taking her. It was the other man in the room! Horror struck her! She looked up and saw Vin, one meter in front of her, having sex with Valoria, while looking at her the entire time! What the hell what happening? Vin saw that she was blindfolded and didn’t say anything to her! He was busy banging someone else! They made a pact tonight to just look, but he lied. The room started spinning very fast and Claudia did not know what to do. She started screaming, and ran out. She left her YSL shoes on the floor, but she didn’t care. She had to get as far away from this dirty, evil hellhole as possible. She ran down the corridor, down the stairs, and tripped at the bottom on broken glass. She cut her knee open, and there was blood everywhere. She did not even feel it! She continued running to the changing room, grabbed her clothing, bag, and ran outside onto the street. Her breasts were hanging out, but she did not even realize it. She wanted to escape from this nightmare, make it safely home, and take a shower to wash the filth off of her body.

Luckily there was one taxi standing outside. She jumped hysterically in, and the driver looked at her like she was a crazy person. She saw Vin run out of the club, and she screamed at the driver to go faster! The car took off, and Vin was running after them. Finally she got away. Claudia got dressed in the cab on the way home, paid the driver, and walked upstairs to her flat. She closed the door behind her, and dropped down onto her beautiful fishbone parquet floor. Blood was gushing all around her leg, but she felt no pain. Something died inside of her tonight. She knew that she will never be able to truly and innocently love again. It was over. As the sky grew brighter, she fell asleep on the cold floor, feeling nothing at all.

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Claudia walked into a dark velvet covered room, and saw a couple having wild sex live in front of her eyes! Suddenly a beautiful women leaned over, and kissed her. Was this heaven or hell?