feelings

Valentine’s Day on RTL with Galia Brener
Valentine’s Day on RTL with Galia Brener 398 395 Galia Brener

Thank you dear Lisa Marie Siewert and RTL for the funny and nice interview! To all my friends, family and readers, I wish you a wonderful Valentine’s Day full of happiness, good health and love! Don’t be shy to show your emotions and feelings. Life is short – live now and don’t regret later! Hugs, Gali <3 Please excuse the horrible German! ;-)

 

Read the article here: https://www.galiabrener.com/valentines-day-for-couples-and-singles/

 

 

 

Behind the scenes photos:

 

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Valentine’s Day shooting for RTL
Valentine’s Day shooting for RTL 822 545 Galia Brener

Thank you dear Lisa Marie Siewert from RTL for the funny and nice interview! If you are curious what I said about Valentine’s Day – watch it Friday Feb. 12th at 6pm on RTL Hessen <3

If you are curious about my Valentine’s Day tip for lovers and singles, take a look at my article: https://www.galiabrener.com/valentines-day-for-couples-and-singles/

Behind the scenes photos and shooting done at the Steigenberger Frankfurter Hof.

 

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Valentine’s Day: For couples and singles!
Valentine’s Day: For couples and singles! 822 545 Galia Brener

Dear friends and readers, yesterday I gave an interview to the German television station RTL about Valentine’s Day. I was asked why I think that Valentine’s Day is so important for couples. Of course there are many reasons for that, which I will mention below. However I also brought up the point that Valentine’s Day is not only for couples. In fact, Valentine’s Day can be enjoyed and celebrated being single as well!

 

We live in a really fast-paced society, where feelings and emotions are often hidden on the inside and are suppressed as well! People are scared to get hurt and therefore they are not so quick with letting their true feelings show. Some people are naturally a little bit colder with their feeling than others. That’s where Valentine’s Day becomes so valuable. I know that it’s actually just one day out of the year, and some people make a totally big deal out of it, but I agree with them. This is the one day where it’s ALL ABOUT LOVE! This is a day where being cheesy and corny is ok. When showing feelings and emotions is considered cute. I know that some feminists would kill me when they read this, but this is a day where it’s ok to be an old-fashioned girly woman who is soft, feminine and vulnerable. This is a day where you can actually bake a cake for your love with his name written in pink hearts and glitter, and they won’t think that you’re a psycho manga freak. This is a day for love, when emotions are celebrated and given without regret!

 

I’m sure that with the daily grind and everyday life at work, romance in relationships becomes routine and almost all together forgotten. So thankfully good old V-Day comes a bit over a month after Christmas and New Years, when the holiday stress is over and there is a nice chance to find the path back to each other again. Let’s call it a mini jumpstart to spark up the romance again. I recommend to really take the initiative and plan something über romantic for that day. Maybe a dinner in a nice restaurant, with your hand-written love letter set in front of your partner as a surprise. Or maybe baking a cake naked together and laughing like wild teenagers. Or surprise your man at home with your new lingerie that you bought especially for this day. Maybe a small trip to a romantic city or even a song that you wrote specially for her. The presents must not be expensive, but they must be directly from the heart – to show how much you care. Nothing can be too cheesy on his day! Written poems, a surprise engagement ring, an old photo from your first date in a silver frame, or just cuddling, kissing, movies and love making in bed all day! If you have liked someone for a long time and they don’t know about it, this is also a good day to tell them how you really feel about them! You never know, maybe they feel the same way about you. It’s a day to connect and reconnect.

 

Single on Valentine’s Day? That’s great too! Since this is a day for love – this doesn’t only include romantic love! Why not go for dinner with your best friend and exchange cards that you have written for each other, or small little presents to show how much you cherish your friendship? In fact you can also bake that same cake (maybe not naked? ;-) with your BFF and have fun decorating and eating it together. I have also been know to invite my parents to dinner on Valentine’s Day and tell them how much I love them and am thankful for everything they have done for me! Or even take the time out with your siblings or anyone that means a lot to you. The great thing about Valentine’s Day is that you don’t have to be lonely just because you’re single! This is a day to show gratitude to those in your life that you love, respect and are thankful to have around.

 

Valentine’s Day is about sharing the most valuable thing that you have with the one you love. And what is this valuable thing? It’s your time! You are giving your love and time on this special day to the person who matters a lot to you! Therefore it’s important to cherish this time you have together – because not everything is infinite. You are here now, so enjoy it now.

 

Last but not least, I always say that it would be great to make Valentine’s Day a tradition at least once every month to show your loved one how much they mean to you. Why only limit your display of love, attention and affection to February 14th? Life is not that super long my dear friends. Give your love. Show your feelings. Tell them how you feel. Do the things that are important now, so that you don’t regret later for not doing it – sometimes later it too late. Have a happy, healthy, loving, fun, exciting and passionate Valentine’s Day dear friends and readers! <3

 

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How does s/he make YOU feel?
How does s/he make YOU feel? 814 1200 Galia Brener

Have you ever noticed that different people bring out a different side of you? With one man you might act and feel like a sexy goddess, while with the other you’re the funniest comedian the world has ever seen. With the third one you might be the annoying nagging mother figure, and with the next man, you might be the silly little girl. It’s interesting how dating different people actually helps you to learn more about yourself, especially about what you want, and definitely don’t want. The most important thing after dating various people is to stay with the one that brings out the best in you!

 

Last week I was talking to my dear friend Ambrosia, who went through a very painful breakup a few months ago. Even though her ex was not the best guy for her, she was madly in love with him, and let him get away with bad behavior. He is what I call a “Male Drama Queen.” His actions and reactions to certain situations were insane, and of course this in return instigated crazy responses from her as well. Consider it an emotional chain reaction. Ambrosia was a victim to his bad moods and aggression, and this brought out the same in her, even though she is not the angry depressed type at all! Her ex was an energy vampire that sucked the positivity out of her whenever he had a bad day – which was quite often. He brought out the angry bitchy part of her, which she didn’t even know existed until they met!

 

Three month ago Ambrosia met a new man. With him, she was the cheeky comedian and the fun, unique girl. Gone was the angry bitchy woman from last year, and instead an easy going, adventurous and hilarious Ambrosia took her place. Her new boyfriend was giving her the attention and love that she so desperately lacked and needed from her ex. The new guy saw her as an equal, and not as a stupid little girl that had to be education. He cherished her, and made her feel like the only woman in the world for him. He praised her, gave her sweet compliments, kissed and touched her a lot, bought her flowers and simply adored her. Like she did him. He gave her a warm, light and happy feeling. She could be herself around him, and never felt like she was being judged. She enjoyed the Ambrosia that he brought out in her. The bold, funny, charming, beautiful and sophisticated Ambrosia was actually the characteristics she loved the most about herself.

 

Like with Ambrosia’s situation, the power is in your hands. You decide your own future, and what’s good for you. Make the right decision and chose your partner well. There is always a way of seeing quite quickly if this person brings out the best in you, or not. Try to look at these things:

 

  1. Are you funny when you are with him? Does he bring out the best in your sense of humor?

 

  1. Is she the kind of woman that gets offended or insulted easily? Which in return makes you feel the need to always explain/defend yourself, which eventually leads to being moody, irritated or annoyed? This is not good, because it sucks too much energy from you.

 

  1. Does he make you feel sexy and wanted? Or does he not pay enough attention to you – which makes you feel insecure, needing to overdo on making yourself appear beautiful, and trying to get his attention?

 

  1. If you fight does she bring you to the point where you get aggressive and loud, but usually you’re not like that at all? Do you have to defend yourself against her unnecessary accusations, which in return make you angry and miserable? Or does he bring out that mean bitch inside of you, which makes you bitter and sad afterwards? That’s all very bad for the emotions, and quite draining.

 

  1. Do you feel like you’re his Mama, and you have to nag and run after him? Or are you both on the same level? Or does he often lecture you about how you should change, and do things to grow up, almost like your dad, and not your friend?

 

  1. Are you cuddly and sweet to him, or colder and calculating – but usually are the complete opposite?

 

  1. Do you pretend to be someone else around him/her, and are usually different with your friends? Do you try to impress them too much, buy appearing cool and mysterious, instead of being the warm, sweet and normal you?

 

  1. Does she bring out the fun child in you – when you can be yourself, and have a good time together? Or does she judge your silliness?

 

I advise to see how your partner makes you feel, and be honest with yourself if s/he brings out your best side or not. I remember having a boyfriend once that tried to change me and my entire wardrobe, by telling me what to wear and what to get rid of. The day he bought me a brown rice-bag-grandmother-style sweater was the day I knew it would never work. Different people have different effects on us, and it’s crucial to choose a mate that inspires the peaceful, loving and caring side in us.

 

Stay away from people who bring out your bitterness, cruelty or aggression – because this usually ends up with pain and illness. From my personal experience, I can say that the best is to gravitate to a partner who brings out the tranquil side of you – with whom you can enjoy spending time together and not continuously have dramas and negativity around you. Life is short, so why be together with someone that brings out the evil twin in you? Choose well, it’s your future after all.

 

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Do you miss your “ex” or the “feeling of love”?
Do you miss your “ex” or the “feeling of love”? 1354 437 Galia Brener

Do you ever think about your ex and really miss him/her? Do you think back about the good times you had, the kissing, cuddling, laughing, hanging out, cooking, traveling, talking, sharing, partying, falling asleep together, and and and? Well my dears, perhaps I can make your heart a bit lighter after reading this article. Most likely, you don’t miss your ex, but rather the feeling of love, and being loved!

A few Saturdays ago, I had dinner at VaiVai with my two friends Marianne and Heather. We were a table full of carnivores, and all ordered the same dry-aged steak, and the famous VaiVai rosemary and garlic homemade french fries. Of course this was topped off with a nice bottle of Barolo. Little did we know that this would be one of the most important evenings for heather in a long time! On our second glass, reminiscing about all of our past loves, Heather looked at us with sudden tears in her eyes and said, “I think of him so often. I’m stuck, and I can’t move on. It still hurts so much! I used to be so free, positive and happy before I met him. I want to be that woman again.” Wow, big statement! Marianne is a well-known Frankfurt psychologist, and she decided that tonight she would heal Heather. Tonight was the first time in a while that Heather was open for help, and she was about to beat her demon.

Marianne asked Heather a simple question: “Tell me 5 things that you miss about your ex.” She answered: cooking together, traveling, cuddling…. “STOP!” said Marianne. “I said the 5 things that you miss about “him”! Not 5 things that you could have with another man as well.” Marianne looked at us like we were Martians talking to her in an alien language. She became extremely quiet, and it took her a while to think. We finished the first bottle of red. Still no answer. After a while she said she missed his smell, voice, sense of humor, physical contact and helpful advice. Well, sorry to break it to you Heather, but these things you can have with another man as well. Voices and smells are unique, but many other people have nice scents and tones as well! She opened her eyes, as if for the very first time in months, and realized that it is not specifically “him” that she missed, but rather the feeling of love and a companion by her side! She also admitted that most of the cute sweet things in the relationship came from her. If she created this with her ex, then she can implement these things in the next relationship as well! And just like that, Heather’s brain clicked with this new awareness, and sent a message to her heart, “You can let go now.” This realization was worth gold! Ever since then, Heather is smiling, happy, positive and herself again!

Ladies and gentlemen if you are hanging onto your ex and can’t let go, then ask yourself one simple question: “What exactly do I miss about him/her?” You have to differentiate whether the things you miss, you can have with another partner as well – such as – cuddling, traveling, having someone who cares about you, affection, love, sex, having someone to talk to when bad or good things happen, going to dinners and partying, sweet text messages, falling asleep together, kissing, etc. All of these things the next love will give you too! It’s not specific of your ex only! However, if you really miss such things like his smell, jokes, laughter, body gesture, habits, etc. then it is him/her you’re still longing after. But also here I can help you by pointing out that the next guy might make even funnier jokes, understand you better, care more, or the next girl might smell even better for you, be more empathetic, etc. In my opinion, 80% of the time we miss the feeling of love, being loved, companionship, activities and spending time with a partner – rather than that “specific” person! Crazy realization, right?

If you open up your mind to this fact, and make a list, then you will see that most likely you are part of that 80%. This realization will help you to let go and move on very quickly! The hold and obsession will be released, and you will open up to new love again. Plus don’t forget that it is quite normal to still hang onto the last person that you were dating. Most likely as soon as the next love will knock on your door, you will forget your ex – because you will have the companionship and feeling of love again, which was missing after the breakup. Believe me, when that handsome new man or beautiful woman is staring into your eyes with a big smile, the last thing you will think about is your ex! That’s when you will see again – it’s not them you really missed!

Damaged from past relationships?
Damaged from past relationships? 1354 437 Galia Brener

It seems to me lately that more and more people are very careful about opening their hearts to new love. I have been speaking to many who have had painful experiences in the past, which have completely destroyed their ability to believe in love again, and take the chance to start a new happy and healthy relationship. So as I sit here on the river main, gazing onto the crystal water, I ask myself, if everyone is protecting themselves like a snowman from the sun, and sheltering their hearts from love bombs, then how the hell can we ever experience true love again?

I have been continuing my research on Tinder for the past month, and what can I tell you ladies, if you think that we are the only ones that have been damaged from past love, then you are incredibly wrong! It is unbelievable how many men I have come across on Tinder that have been slaughtered due to bad relationships. Me being the spy that I am – although with this article my cover is blown – I engaged in conversations with different men about love and relationships. What I learned is that the single ones that want a fling or just fast sex, are the ones that got brutally hurt in the past and don’t have the courage to stand up to love again. The ones that are looking for a relationship may have been hurt in the past as well, but nevertheless possess the strength to try the “big love” again!

I always say, “Love is only for the very strong and brave”. Why? Quite simple, because many people cannot open up their hearts again after being burned by love. They shut down, or otherwise known as “get bitter” and protect themselves like a bulletproof car in a mafia movie. No love bullets can enter their hearts. Sealed, protected and unreachable. In my opinion, this is a great weakness. How could someone shut themself off from a possibility at finding love again? I think that love is the main reason for life. Not success, money, or collecting possessions – nothing is as pure and wonderful as having a true love in your life, so why deprive yourself of the chances to find this?

You must be thinking, “Oh yes Gali, but you don’t know what I have been through, and how painful it was.” But dear readers I do. I have also loved, truly loved, more than the air I breathed. My boyfriend at that time was my best friend, partner in crime, lover and the closest person to my heart and soul. I have never loved anyone as much as him before. We were intoxicated by each other, and his closeness brought me happiness. We spent almost every second we had together, like Bonnie and Clyde. We had so many adventures, where I can write an entire book about it. But one day we broke up. I thought that the Earth would swallow me whole. I was numb, and couldn’t feel anything for months. I locked myself at home, didn’t go anywhere, and lost lots of weight. My world crashed, and I didn’t know how to go on. It was torture.

One day I simply got physically tired of crying over and over again. I was scared that the emotional pain in my heart would turn to a physical one, so I decided to drop the victim role. I had a desire to live, to feel and to truly love again. I wanted to wake up from this horror and join the living again, and so my sense of survival kicked in. I realized that I loved him, but I love myself more. I didn’t want to deprive myself of new love. What for? For a man that didn’t deserve me and made my life miserable at the end? Why cry, and who will appreciate my tears? He definitely wouldn’t. So it was obviously time to move on.

Take the proper time to lick your wounds after a love war, but then move on! I know people that get stuck in love pain for years. These poor souls are torturing themselves for nothing, when they can have love and enjoy life again! Don’t punish yourself, because time runs faster than you think. I realize now how silly I was to cry for so long about a person that didn’t even appreciate me. Please learn from my mistakes and wake up from your bad dream. There is so much beauty, love and joy out there for you to have! There is someone special for everyone, so at least make the effort to open up your heart again in order to meet this person. Love is the most amazing and precious thing in this world, and after going through this horror, I can say that for me it’s worth taking that risk again. The next time you might get lucky and meet the right one, so why miss out on that special chance? Love is only for the very strong and brave – because only the tough ones can get back up and love again!

Want to heal your broken heart?
Want to heal your broken heart? 1354 437 Galia Brener

Like I always say, love is a bitch. She mysteriously appears out of no where, forces herself into your nicely balanced life, punches you in the face until you are drunk enough not to know anything anymore, and makes you helplessly addicted to her high. Unfortunately this bitch also has the habit of disappearing, leaving you with a half-beating shattered heart, and a painful anxiety that you would not even wish upon the devil himself. This is a very serious issue, and I will be quite harsh in this article. It’s about survival, and the necessity to heal and move on.

A few months ago, I met up with the girls for a delicious Sunday brunch. The door to the restaurant opened, and Jilli walked in, looking very upset. Her eyes were swollen, and she looked like she was about to collapse at any second. I felt my heart skip a beat because I knew something was very wrong. She looked up at us, her beautiful turquoise eyes filled with tears, and said, “We broke up.” I almost spilled my hot coffee allover myself. Jilli and her now “ex” boyfriend were our example that true love really does exist. We considered them to be the “perfect couple”, and deeply in love. My sunny-side up eggs arrived, but I couldn’t eat them. I took a bite, and felt the egg sticking to my throat. I asked her what happened. This question made Jilli’s tears roll violently down her face, and she told us that he didn’t want to commit to her. He didn’t want to marry or have a family with her. He said he wasn’t ready, and didn’t know if he ever would be. But she was not even pressuring him to marry her now! She said they were fighting a lot lately, because she was seeking his attention and love, and he was pushing her away. Not only that, he became vicious to her lately, and was saying and doing things that really hurt her. How could this asshole betray such a special love? Poor Jilli, she was so sure that he was her soulmate. She never loved another human being like she loved him.

She asked me what to do, because she knows my story from many years ago. I’ve had my heart brutally destroyed once as well. Like Jilli, I thought that my world was demolished, and what I loved was being ripped out of my body alive. Months went by, and the pain did not subside. One day while crying in the kitchen, something strange happened; for a millisecond, I felt deep inside myself that if I wont finally deal with this crap, it will deal with me – in a very bad way. Constant painful emotions can lead to physical illness. The hard truth is that nobody needs a sick person. This brought out the fear, and self-protection in me, and I finally woke up. I entered survival-mode.

How did I heal my broken heart? I started loving myself more than I loved him. That’s it. That’s the secret. What does this mean? It means that soulmate or not, you have to take all the love you have for him, and turn it upon yourself, because you must survive this terror. You have no other choice, because if you don’t switch survival-mode on, this pain might destroy you. I have seen people turning to angry bitter monsters because of broken hearts. I have even heard of people falling into deep helpless depressions, and not coming out of it for years! Is that what you want? To be stuck in hell for years obsessing about some jerk that didn’t even think you were worthy enough to stay together with? That’s abandonment and betrayal, and such a person is not entitled to your love – you are the one who deserves your love now, so make the switch.

Loving yourself more means living for yourself. Take the first few months to be selfish by doing what you want, and when you want it. Your friends and family will understand if you explain to them. Learn to say “No” to others. Loving yourself is also controlling yourself – your thoughts and emotions. As soon as you think of how you miss him, counteract the thought with a thought of a bad thing that he did to you. Remember the bad stuff? It was not only rainbows. Loving yourself is being strong. You can cry for some weeks, but one day you have to get up, find your courage and start respecting yourself again. Loving yourself means fighting for yourself to become happy again. It means not letting yourself sink in the misery of your negative and depressive feelings. If he was weak and didn’t fight for you, doesn’t mean that you also have to be weak and not fight for yourself. If you have a dog or a child, would you allow someone to hurt them, while standing and watching? No! You would jump in, and save them from this evil. Well, imagine yourself jumping in and saving yourself. That’s what you have to do now, save yourself.

Life is too damn short to cry over idiots who take us for granted, don’t appreciate us, and actually do not even deserve us. Never ever give your power away by letting someone bring you down so low, that you cannot feel “happiness” anymore. How the hell does he still deserve love from you after hurting you like that? You deserve your own love now. By rolling around in your broken-hearted misery, you are actually hurting yourself – just like he did to you! That’s psychologically wrong, and doesn’t make any sense. Think about it… ♥

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