happiness

Can you live without Love?
Can you live without Love? 1200 400 Galia Brener

You can’t live with her you can’t live without her. Sometimes you even compromise yourself, your beliefs, your morals and values – in order to have this thing in your life. Her name is Love, and she is a ruthless, egoistic maniac, who will show you what living is all about. She will make the blood rush in your peaceful veins, the adrenalin pump through your guts, and she will even cause your heart to hurt, and almost burst out of your body. But despite all of the ups and downs, the pain and sorrows, good and bad moments, we still yearn for this bittersweet Lady Love to come knocking on our door.

 

My friend Heather was telling me about her long lost love. They were together for 8 years. I still do not have a clue how they made it together for so long – that can only be explained due to magic! Those two are complete opposites of each other. He is serious and conservative, and she is a party queen that can disappear for three days in a row, and come back with stories about meeting the devil himself! They are two squares that make a circle together. They both suffered and enjoyed so much in this relationship – so many makeups and breakups. Slamming doors, tears, screaming, arguing, makeup sex, passion, understanding, romance, miscommunication, desire, fights, compliments, insults, blame and support. They couldn’t live without each other. The love was far from perfect, but so intense! Unfortunately the love came to an end when one of them cheated and a child was made. Heather still speaks of him with tears in her eyes. She told me that she will never forgot him until she dies. Sad. How could it be that something so strong and intense simply breaks in half?

 

We live in a society where giving up is easier than ordering a stinky anchovies pizza. We have to fight for our Lady Love because believe me, if we wont, there will be someone else out there who will gladly give her what she needs, and then she’s gone! That’s life. Things get taken for granted. One day it’s an earth-shattering love, and the next day your best friend is moving into a villa together with your ex husband – whom you still love, but don’t admit. Don’t be a fool, open your heart and tell them that you still love them. You never know… you might save that special love, or otherwise regret it your entire life! Heather regrets it until this day that she had the chance to save her love, but her ego wouldn’t allow her to do so.

 

If love is really such a bitch, than why do we come back for more? Because we are human, and humans were not made to be alone. You can ask the biggest player in his sad, weak moment, and even he will tell you that he wants to have a big love. Unfortunately in the last decades, love was made to appear as something cheesy, for the ultra sappy. It’s totally insane, but being a single, successful, good-looking, strong and not-so-emotional woman these days is considered “cooler” than being a women ridiculously in love – who sends sweet messages to her partner, talks about him all the time with big glittery in-love eyes and draws hearts beside him name. Since when did love get such a negative weak reputation?

 

I know a woman who does this to me – behind my back. Every time I speak to my man in a sweet and loving tone, she turns around and pretends to put her fingers in her throat. Then she says, “Oh Galia, get over it, this is so cheesy. Wake up from your annoying pink bubble, because you are making us puke. It’s all fake!” Eventually I have learned to just look at her and laugh. Poor girl. Where is this reaction coming from – Jealousy? Bitterness? Loneliness? Lack of goodness and purity in her heart? Who the hell knows! Love is a bitch to everyone – but if she can’t get up after being shot down by Lady Love (like all of us), then she will definitely fry in her dark pan like a raw chewy octopus for years to come.

 

Love is a bitch. She gets us all. Some are scared of Lady Love, some run after her, but never catch her. Some try to avoid her, and ironically get thrown into her arms. There is no way of avoiding this mysterious Lady. After we have been beaten by Love, we have two choices: 1. We crawl into our shell and not let anyone hurt us ever again – meaning that we never experience love again! 2. Or we crawl out of our shell – after properly licking our wounds, and try to ride Lady Love again. Do you really want to miss out on the excitement of which freaks you shall meet next? The Freakazoid fun is so priceless! I’m kidding. But on a more serious note, it’s definitely worth trying to find your true love again, even if you have been incredibly hurt in the past. Maybe next time you shall get lucky and meet “The One”? I believe that only the ones with faith will get a true taste of Lady Love. It’s like Russian roulette. Love is a bitch, but we all need her in our lives. She is addictive. She is magical, unforgettable… and she’s coming to get you!

 

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The magic of letting go!
The magic of letting go! 1200 400 Galia Brener

Letting go is one of the hardest yet important things to do. This can be difficult for some people, like myself, because us sensitive types feel emotions quite deeply, we are loyal, compassionate, empathetic and caring. We often take things too closely to the heart, get hurt very easily and sometimes carry the sorrows of the world upon our shoulders. We tend to worry a lot, get offended, and in general, allow people to hurt us. The way I see it is that we emotional/sensitive types have a big karmic lesson to learn: to take things easier and learn the magic of letting go!

 

Do you have difficulties to let things go? For example, you hear that someone said something bad about you that you don’t deserve. Or when you have an argument with your partner, you might be tempted to go on fighting until s/he realizes that you are right, and not them. Maybe you had a painful breakup, or you do something really wonderful for someone, and they don’t appreciate it. You have a fight with your mom or best friend, your boss screams at you for no apparent reason, you get shoved hard on the train and fall down. Or the guy you really like has not called back in over two weeks after your date. Whatever the case is, it will gnaw at you until you manage to let it go.

 

My friend Gloria went through a rough breakup last year. It was terrible and unfortunately she hasn’t managed to become her usual happy-self ever since. She thought he was the love of her life and that they would get married one day. It turned out that he showed his true nature after two years, and was a complete opposite of whom she met and initially fell in love with. He had serious addictions, was short-tempered and treated her quite badly the last half a year they were together. She tried to do everything to save the relationship. However, the more she gave, the more he took, and the meaner he was to her. She couldn’t handle the pain anymore and forced herself to split up with him. This was a very tough decision and went against her heart, but she knew that it was the only way to survive his terror.

 

The following months were a complete shock for Gloria. She lost 10 kg and couldn’t deal with the fact that they were apart and he turned out to be someone completely different. Gloria hoped that his deep inner “goodness” would win over, and realize that he pushed away his best friend, and the only person who truly loved and cared about him. She was much closer to him than his family was. He always said that he felt at home with her and that she was his family. Words of truth? Or a sick game? To make a sad story short, it has been a while and she still didn’t get over it. She simply can’t let go. There are good men lining up for her and she is stuck on a guy who was terrible to her! Gloria told me that she would love him until the end of time. The problem is that if she doesn’t let go, she wont be able to move on and be open for a man who will truly love her. She is missing out on some good chances to be very happy!

 

By letting go, it does not mean that you are weak, and allowing the other to win and take control. Quite the opposite actually. By letting go, you are being smart and loving yourself. Bad people come into our lives as a test for us to see how we deal with such creatures and situations. They will “try” to tease, hurt, harass, manipulate and sometimes even destroy us. However, how deep you allow them to penetrate you is in your own control. Once you clearly see that this person or situation is bad for you, then it’s your job to walk away and not allow them to harm you. Even if they managed to get into your heart, the only way to rid yourself of their poison is by letting go. The power is yours. I think it’s time to turn on our survival instincts, and learn the magic of letting go. Do yourself a favor and let go in order to make place for the good things to come into your life. Holding onto these people and situations is the same as willingly holding onto parasites that you know are destroying your body. That’s sick!

 

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Photo 28.04.15 20 36 51

Kill the fear and follow your dreams!
Kill the fear and follow your dreams! 1354 437 Galia Brener
dreaming
 Well all have those special dreams in our hearts. For some it might be to become self-employed, for others it is to move to their favorite city, build their dream house or start a family. Whatever your dream is, however big or small it is, it’s time to start making those changes and move yourself towards your goal. It’s now or never dear friends and readers.2015 will be a power year for many to finally make those changes. The last few years may have been tough on us, me included, but this year is a time of positive change. Call me a dreamer, or call me silly, but I have the gut feeling that many of you have those special dreams that you shall start to actualize this year. There is a superpower energy in 2015 that has already started to push peoples’ behinds to achieve their goals. All we need is a little nudge, motivation and to face our fears head on!

Fear. It is a primary emotion in all human beings. What stops most people from following their dreams in life? Fear. Fear of the future. Fear of failure. Fear of not succeeding. Fear of making a fool of oneself. Fear of loss. Fear of being alone. The list goes on and on. This emotion blocks and paralyzes people from going after what they want in life. “Quit my job and start my own business? What if I don’t succeed and go bankrupt?” – but what if you do succeed and achieve greater things than you ever could imagine? Or “I will marry this guy and start a family even if he’s not my first or even second choice. At least I won’t end up alone.” – and what if you waited and actually met the love of your life, instead of taking third-best to avoid being alone? See my point dear readers? Fear makes us stick to the safe beaten path, so that we don’t have to take a risk and fail. But who knows what greatness and happiness we are blocking ourselves from if we don’t take that risk?

My best friend Jilli is a perfect example for this. She worked at an advertising agency for a while as a senior art director. She had a great salary and was settled in her job. However her heart always wished to become an entrepreneur again (like she was some years ago). She had many of her own ideas and visions. She wanted to open her own design company and create unique products for companies. She was so inspired and that was the only thing she talked about. I told her to do it. Go for the gold. Dream big. Worse comes to worse, the company fails and she gets another job at a different agency. Well, it’s been over half a year and her company is doing pretty damn well! She succeeded because she put her fear aside. I always told her that if she doesn’t go after her dream, someone else will hire her to make their dreams come true. Jilli hated hearing this sentence because she knew it was true! Now she is making her own dreams come true. Bravo Jilli, a true warrior at heart. I must mention that Jilli fell down a few times with previous endeavors. Yet she always stood back up again and marched towards her dream. We only have this chance now – in this lifetime.

What if you were guaranteed a 100% chance of succeeding? Would that change anything? Sure it would, because it would remove the fear factor. Well my dear, this is the grand year where many of you will be tested to see how much your fears are controlling you. Why not start to follow your dreams now? The fact is that we are not getting younger, and as everyday goes by, it’s another day wasted without a step towards your big goal. So why not organize your plans, thoughts and options and see what you can do to make that first step. Make a solid plan and go for it! I cannot even begin to tell you how incredible it feels to do what you love. Speaking from a career point of view, I do what I love and I am thrilled everyday to be writing and helping people. This feeling is unbeatable. I would not have been here now, had I not taken the big risk to move to Europe 12 years ago and start my own business. Sure I’ve fallen down a few times and gazed failure in the face, but the success and positive outcome made the hard climb worth it. It’s ok to fall down on the path to success – It’s quite normal actually. All successful people fell down a few times and gotten back up again. Those that take the risk of making their dreams come true are the ones that truly live and fully utilize their life. 2015 is literally the ass-kicking year. Either allow it to help you touch your dream or wallow in the safe corner – a.k.a – your comfort zone. And then wake up at 80 and realize “Wow! It’s over. No chances anymore.” So what shall is be, dream big or go home?

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My near-death experience. Live NOW!
My near-death experience. Live NOW! 768 768 Galia Brener
Dear friends and readers, I hope you had a wonderful start into 2015! I wish you only the very best – including lots of good health, happiness, success, joy, laughter and love. May all your most desired dreams and wishes come true for you this year!Since I am always writing about my honest opinion and giving advice on how to live, I thought that I should share a piece of myself with you as well. The last week of December last year, something horrific happened to me that changed my life forever. I hope that you can learn from this as well, because I would not wish for anyone to go through this lesson themselves.As some of you might know from my Facebook posts, I was on a winter holiday in Switzerland. We drove there by car and on the way we got into a terrible car accident. In the early morning of December 29th 2014, the highways in Germany still had a lot of snow on it, and none of it was cleared away! (Where does the tax money go?) We were driving on the far left lane, and lost control of the car. We ended up spinning in circles all the way from the left to the farthest right lane on the autobahn, and crashed into the gas tank of a large truck that was driving on the right lane. It was a miracle because at that very same second, there were no cars driving directly behind us. Had there been cars from behind, I would not be here writing this to you now. Everything was damaged around us, especially the large truck. The most incredible thing is that nothing happened to us. Nothing at all. It was as if our angels lifted us, and only the metal was damaged. We quickly jumped out of the car and had no bloody idea what just happened. We were in shock.

You know how people tell you that when you are near death, your life flashes in front of your eyes? It doesn’t. What transpired is that the 3 spins seemed to happen extremely slowly. The accident was probably only some seconds long, but it felt like we were spinning for 15 minutes in agonizing slow motion. What I will never forget is the image of the huge truck, and us slowly approaching it, about to crash head into it. At that second you have absolutely zero control and can’t do anything about it. There is no way to stop and escape. You either get lucky or not. 50/50 chance. The spooky thing is that at this very moment all you feel and think is:

Nothing. The mind shuts off.

I was not scared. I didn’t cry or scream. I didn’t see my life flashing by. I simply felt nothing. There was only silence and a slow motion in time. What a creepy strange phenomenon. It felt like being in a real Sci-Fi movie – like in the Matrix when Keanu Reeves dodges the bullets and everything happens extremely slowly. We dodged death.

Of course being the wild and strong women that we are, we decided – completely in shock – that we would continue our holiday no matter what! This makes me laugh now that I think about it. Normal people would have gone back home with a tow truck to lick their psychological wounds. Not us, we decided to celebrate life and our warrior spirit. We towed our car to the next city, rented a new car, and drove away. This ended up being the best trip of our lives. Those who saw my photos on Facebook know that we did our best to celebrate life. We ate only the best food, drank the best Champagne, danced, laughed, enjoyed and were grateful for every bloody damn second to be alive! Forget saving the money, you can’t take it into the grave with you.

What’s the point of this article? I want to tell you my dearest friends that life can be taken away from you in a millisecond. Just gone. Bam! And you’re not here anymore. Do you understand how fast this can all go away? We have to appreciate every second we have here. Forget and ignore the small crap in life. It doesn’t matter at all! What matters is YOU, HERE and NOW! Health and happiness. Everything else can be earned, created, found and built. Please enjoy your life and don’t let anything bring you down. Don’t let anyone steal your sunshine and goodness. Be happy and grateful that you have this life, and that you are privileged to live and enjoy it. The small things that once annoyed me will never be crucial anymore. Nothing will ever put me down or in a bad mood because I know how fast life can be taken away.

You are here because you are lucky and are chosen to be here. So enjoy every single second with your friends and family, and be happy! Never ever forget this. I now know my mission in life is to write my column and help as many people as I can. I’m so happy to give you this message, and make you aware how precious life really is. Enjoy and be happy dear friends.

Love, your Gali :-)

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9. Januar 2015
Galia Brener

 

Destroy the shit before 2015 – Part 1
Destroy the shit before 2015 – Part 1 1354 437 Galia Brener

 

It’s that time again when the year is winding down and we are confronted with our demons. Some call this the “Holiday Blues”, thinking they might be depressed, sad or lonely, but it’s much deeper and more important than just that. It’s a crucial time that will determine how you step into the next year and which direction your life will go. This is a tough love article, so I might seem somewhat harsh, but it’s for our own good.

Like it or not, a new year is a “reset”. Even if you don’t believe in this, your brain is subconsciously influenced by the thought of a “new start”. If you are honest with yourself, there are some things that you can change and improve about your life. In order to do so, you must first destroy the existing defective base before you build a new structure. No one builds a new luxury building on a rotten old foundation. Never! First everything is destroyed, cleaned out, and then rebuilt.

This week I deal with the points of elimination and destruction of the bad things in your life that drain your happiness. (Next week I will address how to rebuilt a new foundation).

1. Get rid of the toxic people in your life. Cut off anyone that hurts and drains you. They won’t help you grow and will only deplete your goodness with their needy problems and dramas. Be tough even if it seems merciless. You are not their emotional garbage bin so don’t let them dump their shit in your life. Enough!

2. Forgive. This is a tough point, especially if someone has hurt you badly. Regardless if the were friends, exes or colleagues, forgive all these idiots that hurt you. You are doing this for yourself and not for them! You don’t have to speak to them or see them again – but forgiveness allows you to burn away “your” pain and anger, which is blocking you from the good new things.

3. Say NO. We do too many things to be “good” for others, and sometimes even do what we don’t want to. Stop it immediately and don’t hesitate to say NO! Stop going against yourself. By the way, the others will respect you actually more for standing your ground.

4. Nothing is personal. Remember; when people do or say something mean to you, it’s their issue and not yours! Destroy the ability to let others make you feel bad and guilty for no justifiable reason. Don’t take shit from no one, especially when they are trying to deliberately offend or hurt you.

5. Learn to be selfish. We give and give and give so much, but forget ourselves in the process. The love you gave your ex or so-called friend, give that to yourself now. Love yourself truly, because you deserve it. It’s your life so do what’s good for you.

6. Let go. How willing you are to let go of stinky old garbage depends on how much you truly love yourself. Not letting go brings emotional, physical and mental pain and illness. If you really want to be happy and healthy, then you have no choice but to let go of the past and make place for the good things and people in your life.

7. Destroy all bad habits. Easier said than done? No. If you truly want to be healthy and not die, then you can do it. It’s all about willpower, making that “1 decision” and sticking to it! Stop smoking. Stop taking drugs. Stop drinking alcohol excessively (only in moderation). Stop eating damaging food. If you can’t do it alone, then get external help and stop hurting yourself.

8. Throw away all the junk you don’t need. Like the bad people that collect dust in your life, so do the things that you don’t need. I hate going into homes that are cluttered with “stuff” because I can’t breathe there. Your home reflects your inner self, so why block yourself with useless things? Take a big garbage bag on the weekend, go from room to room, throw away the small crap and destroy the clutter. Keep it simple. Give the clothing and things you don’t need to charity.

Like my Papa always tells me, “Make a solid firm decision and stick to it. Going back and forth will only bring more pain and insecurity.” Some of these 8 points may sound tough, but are necessary in order to move into a better life and a happier new year. We must never stop to work on ourselves and develop for the better. We have this one life, so why deprive ourselves of complete happiness?

Next week comes part 2 about rebuilding the good after the destruction of the bad.

To be continued …

13 simple things to make your woman happy
13 simple things to make your woman happy 1354 437 Galia Brener

 

Last week I gave you the men’s 13-point list of happiness. This week I compiled our list, and I am pleased to say that there are many similarities! At the end of the day, we all want happiness and love. Getting the women might seem like the hardest part of the dating game, however that is only a small portion of the battle won. The real challenge is not getting the woman, but rather keeping her happy by your side! Dear men, I’m sure you are sitting with your eyebrows raised and a smirk on your face now, but don’t worry, it’s not as hard as you think – you don’t have to be Hercules or a millionaire to succeed at this.

Let’s make it easy for you to understand and compare this to your car that you love so damn much. Imagine you get your dream car – it’s fast, shiny and new! Every time you see it, a wave of happiness rushes through your body and you can’t get your eyes off your new baby! Driving it is one of the best feelings in world. A few years go by, and you notice dents here and there. The new car smell has long evaporated, the leather interior is not so pristine anymore, and the rims have scratches on them. Your car is getting older, but it’s still your baby and you will take care of it, right? With every 10,000 km you lovingly pat the steering wheel, and thank her for being so good to you. Even if she gets very old and is considered an old-timer, you wont just leave her to rust. Much like beautiful cars, women need proper care and attention as well. If you don’t invest time and effort into taking care of the things you love, then you will lose them.

Dear gentlemen, here is a list of 13 things that you can do to keep your woman very happy:

1. Foreplay – go down on her, make her hot and don’t forget to cuddle afterwards

2. Don’t tell her what to do

3. Accept her as she is

4. Be supportive, strong and courageous

5. Be a good listener – show her that you are loyal and caring

6. Be generous – financially and with your attention, compliments and love

7. Always be honest and faithful

8. Be a gentleman – show respect, good manners and take responsibility

9. Be funny and show your sense of humor

10. Surprises – sweet text messages, flowers, dinner and gifts

11. Stay sexy – don’t let yourself go

12. Show her appreciation, kindness and be forgiving

13. Make plans and commitment for your future together

This reminds me of Gloria’s unfortunate story. She was dating a guy who pretended to be her prince charming at the beginning, and did everything to sweep her off her feet. But as time passed by and the more effort she made, the less he gave back in return. He took her for granted, and this slowly killed the love she felt for him. Towards the end of the relationship, it seemed that he didn’t care much at all and showed his true narcissistic nature. Gloria eventually had enough of his selfish crap and left him. After she was gone, months later he finally realized how much he truly loved and missed her, but it was already too late. His flowers and love letters had no meaning for her anymore. She met a real man who was more than willing to make her very happy! Ladies before falling madly in love, keep your eyes open, and make sure that the man genuinely wants to make you happy because he truly loves you. I don’t want to see any more women suffer like Gloria did.

I know I have listed a lot of things to do, but take your time and do it because you want to and not because you have to. Actions and deeds speak louder than words. Always remember to never take your woman for granted. If you are not good to her, then she will eventually leave, and another man will be very willing to make her happy! Relationships are not always easy, and love can be a real bitch, but if you figure out the formula to make her happy, believe me, she will give you even more in return. Making your woman feel special is not so difficult, and a bit more effort on your part will get you ahead (and even head ;-) and keep your woman feeing very happy. After all, with all of the wonderful things we do for you, we deserve it!

13 simple things to make your man happy
13 simple things to make your man happy 1354 437 Galia Brener

 

I’m glad that I decided to write about this topic, because once again, I realized how easy it is to make men happy. Mon Dieu, they are so much less complicated than us women! It’s incredible how little they need to feel happy and loved. Give your man a blowjob, feed him and give him space to do his things, and he’ll be the happiest creature on Earth! Well, it’s not “quite” as easy as that ladies, but definitely not much more difficult either.

All the men that I have interviewed said more or less the same thing. The answers were very down to earth, and it didn’t seem like anyone needed something strange or appalling to make him happy. It makes me very glad to see that most men are happy with simple and doable actions that any woman can do to make her guy happy. Please note that none of them said they need a woman who works a lot, earns tons of money or buys him expensive gifts. No at all, they need a good woman to listen to them and show that she cares. Ladies if you follow these 13 simple things, you will have a very happy and grateful man by your side:

1. Blowjobs and sex. Don’t forget that men connect intimately and physically.
2. Be supportive.
3. Be a good listener, and show him that you are loyal and care.
4. Give him a massage when he’s tired.
5. Always be honest and truthful.
6. Be funny and show your sense of humor.
7. Give him space for his own things and friends.
8. Be happy and this will make him happy too! Ever hear of the saying “Happy wife, happy life?” It’s true, and your positivity will rub off on him too.
9. Surprises – like a cute note, small present, nice lingerie, and special dinner – cook something delicious for him.
10. Do sports together.
11. Stay sexy – don’t let yourself go.
12. Take interest in his hobby – and offer to do it together.
13. Emotional stability. Men don’t want, need or like drama.

This reminds me of Heather’s story. 5 years ago she met a guy and everything started off so well. The first few months were like living in a dream. They didn’t get out of bed for weeks, and she never had so many orgasms in her entire life before. They did lots of things together and really enjoyed each other’s company. But after the initial “Flowers, sex & chocolate” phase ended, reality set in, and Heather showed her egoistic side. Not only did she stop making herself look pretty when they met, but she stopped her effort all together. She told me that she hardly even had sex with him anymore, and didn’t bother doing small things to make him happy. After almost a year, he gave up as well, and the relationship became horrible. The fights began and the drama was out of control. The insane part was that she still loved him very much, but made no effort! I told her to start doing things to make him happy, but her answer was, “What has he done for me lately?!” It was a pure selfish power struggle between the two, and the end was very near. He was a good man, and Heather really regrets the breakup, crying that she could have done more to make him happy! He really didn’t ask for much, but Heather was unfortunately too selfish at the time to see that.

From my own experience, when a man is happy and gets what he needs from his woman, he is very open, pleased and even eager to give back. A good man will always show his appreciation. He sees, and more importantly feels when a woman really loves him and wants to make him happy. Besides, look at those easy 13 points, they are really not asking for too much. My dear ladies, it’s time for us to give back to our sweethearts and make an effort to keep them happy. The good ones definitely deserve it.

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