PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE

It’s Friday night, and you are having a cocktail with your girlfriends, chatting about life. Your friend mentions that she is flying to Bali on holiday with her husband for two weeks. Of course you are happy for her, but still something tugs at your heartstrings, wishing that you also had a wonderful partner to enjoy a romantic and relaxing holiday with, not to mention spending hours making love there! After ordering your next Bloody Mary, you tell the girls about the fabulous promotion that your boss gave you today. You have achieved that executive position you always dreamed of having, and the success is finally yours! Out of the corner of your eye, you see your friend looking longingly at you. Little do you know, but she would immediately give everything up, including her Bali trip, to have such a wonderful career as yours! So my dears, which is it that you want? Love, money, or health? Is it possible to have it all?

Most likely, you already have one out of the three. The problem is that usually this is underappreciated, due to the fact that you long for what you do not have. You are not the only one like that. I am as well, and actually almost everyone is like this. You have a wonderful wife? Great, but you spend most of your free time at work, trying to get an even higher salary, and end up ruining your marriage due to lack of time and attention to your woman. Or you are as healthy as an 18-year-old, but jump from job to job, while playing around and breaking hearts. Wishing and lusting for the next adventure? Well, maybe it’s time to stop and think for a minute. Repeat after me: “What do I have, and what do I want?” Set you priorities straight. Sometimes, it is not even necessary to have all three in order to truly be happy!

Love (in its “pure” form) is the ultimate drug that gets you so high, even if you refuse to surrender to it. Gentlemen, you might think that being called “Mr. Bond”, because you are a player, is the highest level of being that you can achieve in life? Sorry, but you are wrong! Once true love gets you, it will dig its long red lacy fingers into your body. Inside, it will eat its way through those pulsating muscles and settle directly in the middle of your live beating heart! And believe me, it will be the best feeling you could ever dream of! Funny, but this thing called love usually comes to the ones that either don’t want it, or are not expecting it. So if you want to have a taste of this hypnotic True-Love-Drug, then stop looking for it… because it will find you!

Success and money however, are two little devils that you actually have to work at achieving. Nothing will come from nothing. I always say the most important step is to start. If you are seeking to achieve, then start doing something, and the rest will open itself up to you. Like the old Russian proverb: “Water doesn’t flow under a rock lying on the ground (Nothing ventured, nothing gained).” It’s strange, but always works out this way: once you start working towards your goal, situations and people will open themselves up to you in order to help you upon your path. Money is nice to have because it helps you to live, but please do not expect that it will bring you the ultimate happiness that you desire.

Health has a life of its own. This Health-Character is strange because he comes and goes as he pleases. Of course you can keep him longer by your side, but he is known to be very unpredictable. My mom always screams at me to do sports, however I am the type that prefers sitting on the couch, eating a Big Mac on the weekend. She says that doing sports will strengthen my immune system and keep me healthier. I always argue with her that doing what you love, like me eating burgers, keeps my soul happy. Doing things that you love makes you happy, and being happy increases your health. Of course she doesn’t buy this argument. So listen to the wiser ones than myself, do some sports, and improve your immune system. Taking Vitamin C everyday is also great. There are definitely things that you can do to increase your health and wellbeing. I always say that having some loving hobby, something that you enjoy from the bottom of your heart, will make you happy and healthy. For me, this is food. Without good health, you cannot enjoy your money, success and love, so this is a very crucial point to work on!

With all that has been said, I ask you to look at yourself and your life now. If you have one of the three (love, money, health), then you are lucky. If you have two out of the three, then consider yourself damn lucky! However, if you have all of the above, then I would like to interview you personally, because this means that you were born with a lucky star and are a very special person! Cherish what you have dear friends! Do not look at others that have more or less than you. (There will always be people that have more or less). Concentrate on your life and make the best out of what was given to you. We often forget how lucky we truly are. Now is the time to be grateful.

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You are sitting in a cozy café with the girls, and yet again, another story is told about how some asshole hurt your friend in a disgusting way. Or perhaps you are fixing an old timer with your pals, and surprise, a story comes up about how some bitch tried to use him for all that he’s got! Is it just my impression, or has the world gone completely insane? It seems like it’s getting worse and worse. (Gay, straight, young or old) Since when was love banished by mankind and replaced with cruelty? I have a feeling that now is the crucial time to take a stand and change yourself for the better!

First of all: STOP. Relax, and sit down. Forget for a moment about your “important” life goals: being successful, rich, important, famous, more beautiful, having the best body, being skinny, looking young, being popular and adored, and and and…my head hurts from just thinking about that damn superficial crap we all worry about having, collecting, being and owning. And yes, I mean “ALL” of us. Every single one of us has some goal/idea/wish we strive to achieve, which we think is crucial to our existence – but is it really that important? No offense, but if you cannot be happy living in a 55 square meter flat, then a 200 square meter penthouse will not bring you that happiness you desperately seek for. Yes it will be spacious and perhaps more chic, but sorry, it will not bring you euphoria. Simple test of that fact: when you get something new, you enjoy it for a while, but after some time the magical appeal disappears, because you have seen something new that you must have! Well guess what? There will always be something “new”… this gruesome circle never stops.

The sick part is that people don’t just do this with “stuff”, but also with each other – treat human beings like objects. The classic sad example is of the “Forever-Bachelor” (plenty of them in our beautiful Frankfurt – we all know them!) who always finds the next girl to display themselves with at parties and events. They have fun with the girl, and then trade her in for another version, showing off to their sleazy buddies that they managed to stay bachelors for their entire life. They will not allow any woman to come into their life, control them, and steal their precious freedom away. Wake-up call: most of them will die single and lonely on their highway to hell. There will not be anyone to give them a Paracetamol when they have a fever, bring them love, joy and share the precious moments in their life. Wow, that sounds like an amazing life. Is that what you really want? Eventually you bachelors will also get old, and then the girls won’t be looking at you anymore. Tough luck buddy, what you give is what you get.

Ladies, we are also getting older. I would suggest you to fall in love with a proper “nice guy” who offers you his heart on a silver platter, instead of chasing these macho morons. We did it in our teens, but now it’s time to switch on the brain, and have a man who will be a good husband and father. Sure James Bond & Co. are handsome and rich, but what will he give you? Days and nights of tears because you can’t ever get to his heart? Is that the future you want? Ladies, it’s time to start making smart decisions. It’s your choice; don’t screw up your life. I am sure that many of you have that nice guy who likes you so much, but he is just “too nice” for you… right? Well take a second look, because those are the guys that will make your life beautiful and wonderful.

What about all of those that complain about having so much to do but so little time? So many people are running around, working like zombies, slaves to their careers, taking things for granted, and not being satisfied with what they have. More, more and more. Greed. They need to be more efficient and effective at work to earn more. Wake up call #2: Stop. Look around and realize how bloody lucky you are to be healthy and alive. Be thankful and stop complaining. Hug the ones you love. Reduce your stress. For time goes by quickly, and soon you will realize that you didn’t put time aside to simply “be” and enjoy the moments with yourself and the ones you love. Sorry but taking your money to the grave with you wont bring you much. Sure, you will bring tons of happiness to your friendly neighborhood grave robbers, but that’s pretty much it. Slow down people. Think your priorities through. Then decide how and what exactly to use your time “efficiently” for.

I don’t want to sound like a hippie in a democratic time, but whether you like it or not, karma is a very real concept, and if you live wrong, it will come and bite you in the ass. I have seen it happen positively and negatively with myself, and the ones that I love. What you do and how you live is what you will get back. Be good, and you will get goodness.

In a strange but sad way, we all have some cruelty within us. No matter how good you think you are, you can always become a better person. Learn how to treat each other with respect and dignity. Get rid of the cruelty and replace it with unconditional love. Oh, this is an extremely hard thing to do, but once you master it, you will see that you don’t even need that fast car you dreamed so much about – because your inner happiness will come from a completely different source. I am not saying that its wrong to have dreams and goals, but please do not make the mistake in thinking that getting a new Aston Martin or larger flat will complete your happiness, because you will be hugely disappointed. Sure, allow yourself some luxuries and treat yourself to nice things, but always remember that these are just “bonuses”, and not the main goal for living your life. It’s never too late to change your priorities and views of life. Do it now before its too late. Big hug to you my dear readers, Gali.

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The roses are in their pretty vases, the chocolates are eaten, the bubbles in the leftover champagne have flown away to the next dimension (aliens celebrate the day after), and of course the hangover is that evil one from hell, which forces you to sleep on your office desk. If you went out with the girls – in order to make the pink hearts everywhere look blurrier with every drink – then I congratulate you on being lucky to have such caring and loving friends that are there for better or worse. The good news is… every day is Love Day!

Many are trained to hate Valentine’s Day. I must stay politically correct and just say “Hm.” Unlike some people believe, it is not just a made-up commercial holiday, but rather a very magical and mysterious day, where important events happened in our history.

Let me introduce you to Saint Valentine. This special pure-hearted man lived in the Roman Empire during the year 270 A.D. Emperor Claudius II wanted to recruit more soldiers into his army, but the men were not willing to leave their families and give up their lives in a war. Due to this, Claudius decided to punish everyone, and banish marriages forever! One day, a brave Saint Valentine, secretly started to conduct marriage ceremonies. Claudius II was enraged when he found out about the hidden marriages, and ordered Valentine to spend the rest of his life in jail. Before he was executed, he wrote a letter to a woman, whose eyesight he miraculously healed. This was the very first “Valentine Card” in history! He signed the card: “Your Valentine.” …and then he was executed.

There was a time during the middle ages where blood was used to write intimate letters to show how sincere, deep and true their love really was. Crazy, isn’t it?! Actually it’s not. True Love has no boundaries, and can be expressed in so many different ways. Back then we used to receive blood letters, and now we should consider ourselves lucky if he remembers to bring a box of chocolates? No ladies, sometimes it is up to us to inspire this feeling of romance within our partner. It’s ok to have a little give and take within any relationship. It’s not always the man who should make the effort.
After trying out the blood-writing thing, I realized quite quickly that the letter will have to be short, otherwise it will be quite a “painful” love letter, excuse the pun. Instead of draining your blood, try to greet him at the door with your favorite lingerie underneath your silky kimono, and don’t forget to have the chicken roasting in the oven. A nice bottle of wine, and some sexy French house will do the trick. I prefer Pink Floyd on my killer speakers, but I’m nerdy in that way. Our men are good to us, so why not be wonderful and spoil them in return? Make the evening-after-love-day so fantastic, that next year he might surprise you with a bloody letter, or a beautiful ring. Do not forget, men connect physically, while women connect emotionally. Try to always keep your love life hot and alive!

I think V-Day is quite nice, but we should not rely on such official days to predetermine our moods, expectations, wishes, desires and feelings of love. It might be cheesy, but I really do believe that everyday is Love Day. And why the hell not? It’s not just about having a romantic partner. It’s about our friends, family, pets, buying new shoes, helping the homeless, donating clothing and food… you can encounter love in a different way, everyday! You must be open to it and try to see the love in such places and situations where you would normally never look.

This weekend, try to do something completely selfless and loving. Help a grandma cross the street, call the relative that you haven’t spoken to in a while and make peace, forgive your ex from the depth of your heart (You don’t have to tell him/her – just do it for yourself!), buy a sandwich and give it to a homeless person, whatever you do – make sure it’s an act of kindness. Keep the spirit of Saint Valentine alive. If you want to, do this everyday for 365 days in a row – one act of kindness per day – and see how your life will change for the better!

And most important of all, get rid of those awful controlling expectations! It’s your ego dominating you. I will share with you what I have noticed lately. The less I have been expecting from people, including my boyfriend, the more I have been presented with acts of love and kindness, gifts, positive surprises, caring gestures, etc. Expectations are evil because if they are not fulfilled, they find a way to sneak into your heart a bite a tiny hole into it. They hurt because they can be so deceiving! Therefore, expect nothing, and be positively surprised. This is especially important for Valentine’s Day. So what if you were not celebrating with your sweetheart last night? It doesn’t matter. We have all been single on Valentine’s Day – myself more times than I would like to remember, but who cares? Maybe you will meet your true love next week, and have your own version of Valentine’s Day next month! The point is that you have loving people around you who bring much goodness and positivity into your life. Do not worry, romantic love will come… when you least expect it! Remember my words.

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Let’s talk about the oldest phenomenon. It’s the longest lasting “trend” since the actual existence of trends, hypes… actually, since the existence of human beings! It’s wonderful, keeps you in shape and makes your skin glow. It creates intimacy in partnerships and basically, it makes the world go round. What is this curious phenomenon? What could be so good that it has been the talk of all media, science, biology and history? Well my lovelies, it’s Sex of course!

Everybody is thinking about it, likes to engage in it, but most do not talk openly about it, especially in their relationships. “Pillow Talk” can do wonders for your love life! Bring in some more lust and playfulness into your life. Next time you are having dinner with your man, slowly stand up from your seat, walk seductively to him and whisper in his ear how much he turns you on. Then go back to your seat and continue eating, with a mischievous smile on your face! Make the blood race through his veins. It’s ok to be a bit provocative. It does not take away from your intelligence or sophistication. It does not make you look cheap. It allows you to express your sensual side, which every man and woman has, but many keep hidden and buried deep inside.

It’s time for me to bring you out of your comfort zone ladies. How the hell is he supposed to know about giving you your best Earth-shattering orgasm if you do not share with him what turns you on, or where exactly you like to be touched? Men are not psychics, and every body is different. He wont just “automatically know” what’s your favorite place and how to be touched. You must tell him, or even better, show him! It’s fun to explore together! This path to complete intimacy strengthens your bond, and lets you share and experience new things together.

My friend Jilli dated a very famous German actor. When they met, she had no clue who he was because she was not familiar with the German celebrity scene. For her, he was a sexy guy that she met at a charity event. He was extremely handsome, and had a really special charisma about him. He was tall, handsome and had a very masculine face and body. His dark eyes burned right through her body, and make her shiver every time she looked at him. After a few weeks, Jilli couldn’t wait to finally get this hot fellow into bed and have wild sex into the early daylight hours with him. One Saturday night, after a long dinner in his favorite Berlin restaurant, they went home, and started getting undressed in the hallway of his building. He kissed her roughly on her soft lips and pinned her up again the elevator. She ripped open his shirt and touched his muscular body, gently biting and licking his strong chest. Jilli was wearing a skirt, so he pushed aside her panties and stroked her with his powerful hands. It felt so good, she stared moaning. Jilli was very wet! The elevator arrived, and they ran to his flat. He picked her up in his arms and threw her playfully onto his bed. She undid his pants, and screamed for him to enter her. She felt ecstatic for the first few seconds, but after some minutes, the magic died. The sex was awful! She was so disappointed after waiting for so long. They tried a few more times, but eventually they separated because she was not happy in bed with him.

It’s a damn shame. If they had spoken about what they like in bed, and what turns them on, maybe they would have been able to rescue their love life and keep the fire bright! Instead, they just avoided the subject and let the passion die. Dear ladies, please don’t make the same mistake! For example, if your guy is shy, take the lead and send him a seductive sms. Or even better, leave him a naughty and provocative voice message. Humans are physical creatures. We like passion and excitement. Don’t be scared to tell him what you want in bed. Talk about sex! It will be a magical elixir for your love life. If you’re feeling especially bold and daring, order a nice love toy, and surprise him. Ask him what his fantasies are. Tell him your most intimate fantasies. This will help you build trust and grow closer to each other. Learn how to talk dirty in bed.

A huge reason for cheating is because the passion dies over time. Why not spice up your love life, and keep it fresh and alive? You are not only doing this for him, but mostly for yourself! You also want to feel sexy and desired, don’t you? So make yourself desirable. Buy a nice lingerie set that will make him forget his own name. Wear it out the next time you go for dinner, and flash him a small piece of the lace on your bra when he is choosing his dessert. Then go home and have mad passionate sex with him. Believe me, he will have you on his mind all day at work and when he comes home. You will feel like the goddess that you are. Sex heals the female confidence, sex rejuvenates, sex adds years to your life. Sex is fabulous, and must be explored.

Be daring and be the first one to initiate sex with your man. Do not always wait for him to make the first move. Wake him up in the middle of the night by touching him where he likes it most. Flirt with him in the car while he is driving. But please do not make him cause an accident with your hot teasing words. Kiss him wildly on places where you would not normally do so. Give him a massage while sitting naked on him. Make him go crazy for you. You are a woman, and you have magical powers. All women do. So why not use them? Go ahead, don’t be shy to talk about sex. You are a mysterious tiger, so don’t be scared to unleash that wild side within you. Have fun and enjoy!

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You are standing in front of your closet full of clothes, and of course find nothing to wear. You have a date in 30 minutes! You tried everything on already, and nothing seems to fit right. The little black dress is suddenly too “little”, your favorite jeans are not giving you the long-leg effect anymore. What is going on? You are nervous because of your hopes and expectations. Let your hair down and relax. Mystery-Man didn’t deserve your worries just yet.

From my personal experiences, I noticed that my best dates were when I didn’t care too much to impress the guy, and was just super relaxed. My horror dates were when I was really nervous, and tried to appear perfect to the guy. Another mistake I made in the past was to agree with opinions my date had, even though I did not share the same point of view as him. I thought that would make me lovelier, and it would seem that we have more things in common. Wrong. This would eventually catch up with us, and fights would occur. Ladies, please voice your opinions, especially if you really like the guy. Don’t be afraid that he thinks you are stupid or silly because of what you say. Do not agree with everything he says, unless of course you actually really “do” agree with everything that he says! Yeah right. Besides, most men actually enjoy an intellectual challenge. So let him fight for it girls!

Order whatever you feel like eating. Do not worry that you must look cute in front of him by ordering something small that you can eat in single tiny bites. Who cares?! Order a huge pizza if you feel like it. Another funny thing I noticed, the bigger and messier meal you order, the cuter it looks to the guy. Men like women that are not afraid of eating a huge burger or bloody steak. It makes you look real and nonchalant in a positive way. I call this soul food. Eating what makes you happy to satisfy your soul. Everything is good in good measures. Keep a good balance in life.

Try not to drink too much alcohol. Getting drunk on a date can cloud your judgment and make you do things you can later regret. I don’t want to sound old-fashioned, but its better if you wait a bit before you have sex for the first time with him. Unless you are just looking for a sexy fun time, that’s ok. If you want more from this guy, then waiting a bit is really better. What worked best for me was to get to know the guy, spend some time with him, and let the chemistry and tension rise. Taking your time will show you if this man is really for you or not, and also make the first time even more exciting! Men are lovely creatures, yet quite simple in their thinking. “If she jumped so fast into bed with me, she has done the same with the men before me.” Of course there have been marriages after one-night stands, but quite rarely.

Ladies, use your most charming and erotic weapon… your smile! There is nothing more enchanting than an honest, warm and sincere smile. Always works like a charm! During a conversation: look directly into his eyes, give him a seductive smile, drop your gaze down for a second, then look back up at him, and tilt your head to the side. This move kills them!

Please do not mention how cool and fabulous you are. Do not show off about all of your achievements on the first date. Avoid the feeling that you must impress him or else he wont like you. It’s not true. If you truly are fabulous, he will see this within the first 10 minutes of your conversation. Let him sweat a bit by trying to impress you! After all, you are a goddess, and he has to feel lucky and priveledged that he has such a wonderful woman by his side. Men like a healthy challenge, and want to know that they have the best woman of all, so let him work at charming you into being by his side.

Try to keep a relaxed and positive atmosphere. Life is not always a walk in the park, but he doesn’t have to hear about all of your illnesses, debts and tragedies directly on the first date. If you will get closer, you can open up your heart to him in the future. At the beginning, keep it light and pleasant. Complications are a huge turn off to both men and women. Everyone has enough baggage already, so they don’t want to adopt an even heavier load on the first date. Believe me, he will run away, and so would you. The other way around ladies, avoid being an emotional garbage can for these “troubled lost-soul” men. The broken ones are extremely hard to fix, so unless you want a life-long project instead of being happy, then go for it. Good luck Miss Doctor. Don’t forget, it’s your life, and it’s your decision. Choose well, or regret later!

If he bores your panties to death, and you need to escape, talk about your ex boyfriend, repeatedly check your mobile phone, write text messages while he is talking to you, and profusely yawn in your seat while slouching. This should do the trick. If you like him, please try to refrain from the above. Especially mentioning how large your ex’s, um, water gun was.

But to be quite honest, it doesn’t really matter what you do or not do on a date, because if its meant to be, it will be, and you will be happy together forever… even if you squeezed the ketchup from the bottle all over his face instead of on your burger! ;-)

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It’s 9am on a Saturday morning, and your grandmother just called because she wants you to help her pick out that “ever-so-trendy-grandma-purple-hair-dye”. Two hours later your best friend calls because her boyfriend cheated on her with his childhood friend George. You meet her in the city for emergency cheesecake and sparkling wine. Five hours later you leave her happily drunk at home and finally have the chance to pick up your dry cleaning. Guess what, the store is closed already. You rush home to change because in an hour you have a date with a man you have been looking forward to see for days now. You put your favorite outfit on, hoping that this guy will be a good one. You hear the doorbell ring. After an hour into the date, you notice how much he is in love with himself, and your excitement disappears. You make up an excuse that you have to finish helping the technicians at NASA early the next morning, and you run out of there. You finally arrive at home and drop into bed. What a tiring day after such a stressful week.

The next morning your mother calls. Then your brother calls and asks to pick him up because his car broke down, again! Your landlord calls. No hot water for half a day! Your toaster burns the last slice of bread you have. You remember that you didn’t finish that last part of your presentation for your meeting on Monday. You think it will take an hour to finish, but 4 hours later, it’s evening again. You are left with 3 hours on a Sunday evening before the stress week starts again. STOP. It’s time to reprogram yourself.

One does not live forever. More than a third of the day is spent working. The remaining part is spent sleeping, eating, making love, going out, doing stuff for/with people that you do not always want to do. So how much time is there leftover for you? You grew up hearing that you must not be selfish. Sure, but there is a time when you have to say stop. It starts with learning to say “No”. In the beginning it won’t be easy. People will get angry with you. But you must think of yourself. You need to make time for yourself, and do the things that relax and make you happy. It’s time to be more selfish. Your “true” friends and family will understand this.

Do not spend all of your time and energy on your partner. Do not depend on him for true happiness. This has to come from within yourself. Many women rely on their partner to fill a void that has been there for a long time. You must work on yourself that this happiness comes from within. Hard but absolutely necessary. Your partner is a bonus in your life, and not the meaning of your life. Get rid of those expectations that as soon as you have a boyfriend, you will be happier and more satisfied. If not met, expectation can leave you hurt and devastated. Sure, having a partner will bring new excitement into your life, but never make the mistake to rely solely on your partner to make you happy. Your partner is not Mother Theresa, and it’s not his job to turn your life into a fairytale. However, if you really want to, you can do this for yourself.

Get a hobby. You enjoy eating? Take a cooking course. You like art? Try painting. You like words and can get lost in them? Then take a pen and write something down. Make a date with yourself to do something that you love, which brings peace and happiness to your heart and soul. You like to stay fit? Try Kung Fu lessons. I loved it. It made me stronger, faster and happier. You like fashion? Take a Sunday design course. You want to upgrade your education? Take a weekend or evening course. Do what makes you happy. Be selfish! It’s your life, and you have only one to enjoy now! If you do not know which hobby to do, then try testing many things. A few hours here and there, and eventually you will find something that you like.

Eating makes me happy. I take the time out everyday to enjoy a lovely meal and not feel guilty about it. Of course we all want to look and feel great in our skin, but please my dears, do not deprive yourself. Know your limits and enjoy yourself within these limits. Sit and read a book. Make a beauty Sunday with a relaxing bath or hot shower, facial mask and cucumbers on your eyes. Whatever you do, just take the time out for yourself and take care of yourself. Especially us women, we tend to nurture everyone else, and often forget ourselves in the process.

Next time you pass that store, go in and buy those shoes you have been looking at for weeks. What the hell do you work so hard and suffer for? Of course this does not mean that you must go crazy with shopping, but once in a while, you can treat yourself. You deserve it. I always say it’s better to have a few less cocktails or dinners while going out. That adds up at the end of the month, and you can get those lovely shoes. Saving is important as well, but sometimes buying a new thing works wonders to heal the soul. Even if it’s small and not expensive, you feel that you treat yourself, and it’s a good feeling.

Girls at the end of the day, who will take care of you if not you?! It’s great having a good man, family and friends around, but at the end, its you with yourself. Build up this relationship with yourself and make it strong. You will always be there for yourself. Be strong, loving and caring towards yourself. It’s time to truly start loving yourself.

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(A note to my German readers: in English slang, the word “Bitch” means “Zicke” – but not only in a negative way. She’s a strong, independent woman that knows what she wants in life!)

You pass a couple on the street… and there we go again! A mousy or bitchy girl with a fantastic guy! You wonder what the hell is she doing right that you are doing wrong? You think to yourself, why don’t men like the good, honest, kind and sweet girls? Why do the bitches get all the good guys? If you ask men, most will say that they do not like bitches, and want the good girls. If this is really true, then why do most of the good girls end up with a broken heart?

This reminds me of a story Jilli told me about a very successful, well-known Frankfurt businessman. They dated for about a month. When they met, she wasn’t sure if he was right for her. She decided to get to know him better. At the beginning, he was crazy about her. He was calling and writing her all the time, sending her flowers, and romancing her. As the weeks passed, she was slowly starting to fall for him. The crazy thing was that as soon as she started showing him more affection, it pushed him away and he became colder. One evening, he was supposed to pick her up for a dinner date at 8pm. It was already 9pm. 3 hours later she still didn’t hear anything form him! She was worried sick that something happened. She called him a few times but his phone was turned off. At 1am he called saying that he had to stay longer at work. The sad thing is that Jilli’s friend saw him that same evening sitting intimately at a bar with a girl, who happens to be notorious in Frankfurt for her bitchiness and superficiality!

So what does this mean? Must you become a bitch from hell to get a man? No. Stay lovely and fabulous as you are. I am not one for playing games, but there are a few things you can do to bring out your “sweet-bitchy-strong” feminine side. Most importantly, know your own self-worth. If you treat yourself with dignity, pride and respect, so will he. Guaranteed! Good men notice such things and like when women respect and take care of themselves.

Feel free to be a tiny bit bitchy and tell him when you do not agree with his opinion. Show your intellectual side. However, don’t disagree on purpose just to contradict him, that’s simply childish. Disagree when you think you can show him another good point of view. He will welcome the challenge and find it refreshing that you stand up for what you believe in. Stimulate his mind! Some make the mistake of agreeing with everything the guy says in order to seem easy-going and agreeable. No. Hell no. You have your own mind and opinion to realize when he is wrong. Compromising is good, but don’t allow him to break you. You have no time to waste with Dorian Gray who is in love with himself; and himself only!

Girls, I know we have hormones that run wild at times. But please, do not overreact too quickly and lose your temper. Do not create unnecessary dramas or scenes. In a disagreement, stay calm, cool and collected. Men shut down as soon as they hear the first scream. You are a lady. You don’t raise your voice or freak out. You are a strong woman above this. Try this method of calm discussion and see how impressed he will be. You will get your point across better this way.

Don’t act desperately, even if you’re crazy about him. Don’t call him a hundred times. Don’t be afraid to lose him. Fear is our big enemy! Let him try to reach you, and make the effort to romance you. Some women make it too easy for a guy, so he doesn’t even have the chance to pursue them. Let him be a gentleman and do what he must to charm you. If he likes you, believe me, he will try to do everything to impress you. If not, he is simply not that into you, or he is a coward, which is even worse! Then you definitely do not need him! Don’t overflow him with too much love and attention too fast. This will suffocate you both. And worse of all, you will fall in love, and he might not turn out to be the nice, warm, decent man you thought he is. Take it slower in the beginning and give yourself time to get to know him.

A new hair cut, high heels to make the legs look longer, make up, etc. are a bonus, but not the main things that make you strong and confident. This comes from who you are as a person and a woman! You should feel fabulous without makeup, in old leggings and sneakers (the ones without that grotesque heel please!). Make an experiment: on your next date with him, go with a ponytail, your glasses on, a pair of old jeans and a dab of natural lip gloss. If he doesn’t go crazy for you in this form, he doesn’t deserve you. Never tolerate disrespect! Most likely, he will like you like this even better than made up. Silly men! They prefer sneakers to beautiful Louboutins? Astoundingly yes, they do. How mundane, but that’s why we love those strange creatures so much.

Last but not least, don’t be fully dependent on him. No matter how close the two of you get, have your own life and be your own person. Do your job properly, have your hobbies and meet your girls regularly. Your true friends have always been there, and will always be there for you. Do not forget them, even thought you want to spend every spare minute with your sweetheart. I made this mistake once, and noticed how it backfired. Keep your life as a confident strong woman. Don’t drop everything just for him. Men are sometimes like animals (sorry guys). They love a healthy challenge, and go crazy after something that they cannot completely possess. I am not saying to play hard to get, but please do keep your own life, identity, and be a tiny bit more mysterious. Show him your morals, values and depth. Show him that you have a lovely life full of happiness and wonderful things. This way, he will feel proud and privileged to be a part of it!

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