PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE

Where is your true love?
Where is your true love? 1200 400 Galia Brener
It’s Saturday afternoon and you decide to spend some hard-earned money on a little treat for yourself. As you wander through the city, you can’t help but notice the couples everywhere. Every few meters you see them walking together, as if these annoying lovers are on a mission to show off in front of you today. The handholding, the smiles and whispers, the shared secrets, the kissing and the passion. Is it your imagination, or does it seem like everyone in the city is in love, except you? Damn it, where is s/he already? As you feel a tug on your heart the only way to fill that hole, at this very moment, is to make that “little” present for yourself. You end up coming home with expensive shoes, or a new exhaust pipe for your Harley. It makes you feel happy… but maybe for about a week.

 

There is a rumor going around about a mysterious lady called “Destiny”. Apparently they say that when she decides the time is right, she sends you love. Sometimes you must go through hell and suffering, while gaining life lessons to be prepared for true love. Other times you have a mission to accomplish before the right one comes. Either way, Madame Destiny calls the shots and therefore this tough bitch is not to be outsmarted. However, there is a way to make the waiting process easier. As hard as it is, it helps to stay busy and with a positive frame of mind. Regardless of what you went through in the past, and we have all gone through some evil crap, you cannot let that get you down. No matter what love tragedy happened to you before, never ever take it with you into the present and future. You must let the past go, or else it can destroy you, and leave you stuck in the bitter darkness. Bitterness and anger repels new good people away.

 

This reminds me of Natalia’s story. She had been single for years after her boyfriend left her. She thought that he was the love of her life, and they will get married and have a family. Unfortunately the fairytale died. Carrying a broken heart shattered in a million tiny pieces, she tried to find a new love for some years after, but without much luck. What I admire about Nat is that no matter how difficult her dating life was, she never gave up! She always said, “Gali, my time will come and I will also have true love.” Unbelievable to see how convinced she was, especially after such a devastating breakup. Her 40th birthday arrived, and at 12am, she raised her champagne glass and drank, “To love.” Natalia’s married friends felt sad for her. They couldn’t understand why and how such a wonderful woman was still single.

 

The next morning, hung over and depressed like hell from all the marriage talk, Natalia went to buy some food. She felt like what the cat dragged home last night, with messy hair and puffy eyes, wearing leggings and sneakers. She walked out of the dessert isle with a jar of strawberry jam in her hand, and all of a sudden, BAMM! Some guy bumped into her. She dropped the jar, and the jam splashed all over her shoes, her bag, and the floor looked like thick red blood was splattered all over it. “Jesus! Can’t you watch where the hell you’re………Oh…” She looked up and saw the guy smiling mischievously at her, with a cute guilty look on his face. Half of his jeans were covered in jam as well. They laughed, he apologized and invited her for dinner to make up for the sweet mess. One thing led to another, they got married, and Nat had her first child at 42. Amazing right? How did this happen you ask? Well, Natalia believed in love – against all odds!

 

What works is to be 100% assured that you deserve to be happily in love. You must be completely convinced that true love is out there and will soon be yours. Why the hell should these grey mice you see walking with amazing men, holding hands, have love and not you? If they find a partner, then so can you! Head up and stand tall, knowing that yours is coming too. You must have complete and unconditional faith. Not thinking, “Oh it’s been so long, I give up. I will never find love.” WRONG! Such thoughts will never ever attract love in your direction. Lady Destiny doesn’t like when people feel negative like this. If you don’t feel that you deserve love, then why should it come to you? Change your thoughts immediately, and things around you will change as well. Make a little experiment, and try it out.

 

Meanwhile, keep yourself busy. Go out with your friends and dance without looking around for someone to meet, enjoy your hobbies, spend time with your family, discover new food and restaurants, read more, go to galleries, travel, work, get a pet, spend money on yourself, and simply enjoy living – being grateful that you are healthy and alive. And above all, please stay positive and keep the faith, no matter how hard it is! Love will come when you least expect it… I promise you this. It always does.

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Ladies, it’s time to start dating like men do!
Ladies, it’s time to start dating like men do! 1200 400 Galia Brener
Dear ladies, we live in a time when you can and should date like a man. You hear so many stories about men dating different girls in one week, and taking their time being single. Well, you know what? You can do the same thing without worrying about being called a slut. If the guys are considered “James Bond” because they date many women, well now consider yourself as the sexy “Catwoman” by having a few parallel handsome options as well!

Sorry gentlemen, but you pushed us into it. If you can date around, so can we. No, this doesn’t make us cheap. No, we don’t sleep with every man we go on a date with. Just like you, we would like to keep our options open in finding the very best for ourselves. Guys, why should you be the only ones who can enjoy a nice wine tasting without ruining your reputation? Well ladies, it’s time to go on a Champagne tasting adventure… if you know what I mean!

Jilli and Heather were enjoying their usual girl’s night out in the city. The sun was setting, and the weather was warm enough to walk around naked. The girls were sipping a gin tonic on the rooftop of a trendy lounge. It was filled with beautiful men and women, prancing around in their best outfits, waiting to get noticed. Of course many had their “Serious-Cool-Frankfurt-Faces” on, but deep inside they wanted to meet someone special – even though some would never admit this. Jilli was telling Heather a story of another new guy she met, went out with, and decided not to date anymore. Heather’s reaction was the same as usual. She screamed, “Jilli! Again?! But he was a good guy! Why don’t you give him a proper chance?” It’s not as if Jilli was turned off by “nice guys”. Quite the opposite actually. Jilli did want a good, caring, sweet, honest, charming man – but the one that she would “click” with.

“Aha Man” was not the right one for her. Jilli did not feel the passion and chemistry – or what I call the “Click”. She knew deep in the bottom of her stomach that he was not the one! All her friends, including Heather, thought that she was crazy for not dating him. They couldn’t understand why. However, Jilli knew that the right one will come. She had faith.

Jilli was dating like a man. She liked meeting new people and enjoyed the evenings out. She wanted to have fun! She did not sleep with them all. She simply went out with the men she met, in order to find out if any of them were the right ones. Unfortunately they were not. Heather couldn’t understand that. Heather believed in dating for weeks and weeks – even after realizing that the man was not a good match. Heather wasted her time, nerves, money and patience on the wrong men. Giving someone a chance is good, but when it’s obvious that the connection is wrong, why continue and torture each other?

Girls take your time and date. Do not worry what people think of you. I always say that one must chose wisely and make a good decision about whom they marry. Dating more men will show you what you want and don’t want in a partner. Consider it like gathering information by reading many books, and taking cars out for a test drive, until you find the car you want. If women would not be judged by society for dating like men, would we do it more often? Why do women get labeled “easy”, when all they want is to meet a nice guy, and not waste any time with the wrong one? I say bloody hell to all of those people that label you! Go ahead and date as many men as you like until you meet the right one.

Of course dating around also means that you get to have wild, pulse-stopping sexcapades and exciting adventures. However, I would advise you to keep this to yourself. Not everyone will understand and not everyone will be happy for you. There is a lot of jealousy out there and you do not need to attract this evil into your life. People love to judge and gossip. Tell your best friend, but for the rest, you should stay a mystery.

Girls, date around like a man. Live and love, do what makes you happy. Do what’s good for you! As long as you are respectful to others and your body, then everything is ok. The only one that can judge you, is you. So do yourself a favor and date a few different men until you meet the one that’s right for you. If they can do it, then why the hell can’t we? After all, girls should want to have fun! So go ahead, you have my blessing.

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Don’t date married people!
Don’t date married people! 1200 400 Galia Brener

Image this scenario: It’s a Thursday night, and your friends drag you out for a drink. You’ve had a tough week, and don’t feel like mingling and being amongst people. You try to refuse, but they don’t take no for an answer. You stand in front of your closet, trying to choose something decent to wear, but your heart is simply not in it. You throw on your can’t-go-wrong-dress, put on your high-yet-comfy heels, and leave the house. You feel yourself regretting every step that brings you further away from your comfortable couch. The girls take you to a trendy new bar, and suddenly it starts to look up, because you realize that you can drown your sorrows in a strong gin tonic! You slowly sip your drink and look around. A man approaches you and sits on the bar stool beside you. He’s absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. He starts talking to you, and you soon feel yourself melting away. He’s charming, warm, kind, sweet, and intelligent… and he wants to take you out to dinner on the weekend. You go home happier than ever.

 

Saturday is here, and you’re nervous as hell! You’re meeting “him” tonight! You look fabulous, and so does he. You have an absolutely amazing evening together. You feel the butterflies fly wildly around in your stomach, and your heart starts singing love songs to your brain. This date is followed by many more wonderful dates. Everything is simply perfect and you are both very happy. You feel that he’s the one, and tell him that you love him. He hugs you tightly and says that he loves you too… but there is something that he has to tell you. He hasn’t told you this yet because he was scared to lose you. Your heart skips a beat, and almost stops. Your stomach lurches, as if you are sailing through 10-meter high waves, hanging on for dear life. What the hell does he need to tell you?

 

He’s married. You love him. He says he loves you. He doesn’t want to lose you, and tries to convince you to stay with him. You try not to see him for a few days, to gather distance from him. But you cannot. You need to see him, to kiss and hug him. You need to hear his voice, feel his closeness, his touch, his arms wrapped around you. But like it or not, you are now the “other woman”. The longer you date him, the harder it will be for you to leave. In the bottom of your heart and soul, you know that letting him go would be the better and smarter thing to do…. but it’s so damn hard!

 

Most men that have affairs do not leave their wives for the “other woman”. Same thing goes for married women. Even if he does leave his wife, there is no guarantee that he won’t do the same thing with you, and the next woman after you. An acquaintance of mine, Maria, was dating a married man. She wanted to leave him but couldn’t. She was crazy about him. He kept on promising her to leave his wife, year after year. After 5 years, he still did not leave his wife, and he never did after. Maria ended up wasting 5 years with a man that was sharing his heart with two women. He told her that he doesn’t sleep with his wife anymore, and doesn’t even love her, but still he did not make an attempt to start a new life with Maria! She met him at 35 years old, and is now 40 with a broken heart and wasted time.

 

Dating married people is like being stuck with a bad Internet connection, and waiting for your favorite online store to load. Usually the page fails to load up, and the slow Internet crashes. You are putting your life on hold for a man/women that “might”, but most likely never will be yours. No matter how you try to justify it to yourself: “It really is true love”, or “S/he truly loves me”, “We are soul mates because we understand each other so well”… at the end of the day, a family is being wrecked. There is another woman on the other side who is miserable and suffering. She is trying to do everything do get her husband to notice her again. It’s an awful, painful and torturous feeling. Ask yourself this: can you truly love someone who is so disrespectful to his wife and family? He is having his cake and eating it too. Two women who want him, and he gets to decide what, where, when and with whom. Be honest to yourself, is this the life you really want?

 

I have seen a few friends suffer like never before. My advice to you would be to never start dating anyone who is married, and if you happen to find out later, break it off immediately. You will save your heart, soul, and a family! If s/he did this “with you”, then s/he will do this “to you” as well. Karma is also at risk here. You don’t want the same thing happening to you when you are married! Drop them and take care of yourself. You deserve a wonderful person that will fall in love with you, and make you their one-and-only! You deserve the very best, and do not need to share your partner with anyone else. Be smart and choose to lead an honest, honorable and happy life.

 

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Learn how to say “NO”
Learn how to say “NO” 1200 400 Galia Brener

It’s 9am on a Saturday morning, and your grandmother just called because she wants you to help her pick out that “ever-so-trendy-grandma-purple-hair-dye”. Two hours later your best friend calls because her boyfriend cheated on her with his childhood friend George. You meet her in the city for emergency cheesecake and sparkling wine. Five hours later you leave her happily drunk at home and finally have the chance to pick up your dry cleaning. But of course, the store is closed already. You rush home to change because in an hour you have a date with a man you have been looking forward to see for days now. You put your favorite outfit on, hoping that this guy will be a good one. You hear the doorbell ring. After an hour into the date, you notice how much he is in love with himself and your excitement disappears. You make up an excuse that you have to finish helping the technicians at NASA early the next morning, and you run out of there. You finally arrive at home and drop into bed. What a tiring day after such a stressful week!

 

The next morning your mother calls. Then your brother calls and asks to pick him up because his car broke down, again! Your landlord calls, no hot water for half a day! Your toaster burns the last slice of bread you have. You remember that you didn’t finish a part of your presentation for your meeting on Monday. You think it will take an hour to finish, and 5 hours later, it’s evening again. Where did “your” weekend go? You are left with 2 hours on a Sunday evening before the stress week starts again. STOP. It’s time to regain your control and make “Me-Time”.

 

One does not live forever. More than a third of the day is spent working. The remaining part is spent sleeping, eating, making love, going out or doing stuff for/with people that you do not always want to do. So how much time is there leftover for you? You grew up hearing that you must help others and not be selfish. Help when you can, but there is a time when you have to say “No” to the things that you don’t really want to do. In the beginning people might get angry with you. However, you need to make time for yourself, and do the things that relax and make you happy. Your “real” friends and family will understand and even respect you for that.

 

Do not spend all of your time and energy on your partner. Do not depend on him/her for true happiness. This has to come from within yourself. Your partner is a bonus in your life, and not the meaning of your life. Get rid of those expectations that as soon as you have a new love, you will be happier and more satisfied. If not met, expectation can hurt and devastate you. Sure, having a partner will bring new excitement into your life, but never make the mistake to rely solely on your partner to make you happy. Your partner is not Mother Theresa, and it’s not their job to turn your life into a fairytale. However, if you really want to, you can do this for yourself.

 

Get a hobby. You enjoy eating? Take a cooking course. You like art? Try painting. You like words and can get lost in them? Then take a pen and write something down. Make a date with yourself to do something that you love, which brings peace and happiness to your heart and soul. You like to stay fit? Go to the gym or try yoga. I love it. It makes me stronger, more confident and happier. You like fashion? Take a Sunday design course. You want to upgrade your education? Take a weekend or evening course. Do what makes you happy. Be selfish! It’s your life, and you have only this one to enjoy now! Whatever you do, take the time out for yourself and take care of yourself. Especially us women, we tend to nurture everyone else and often forget ourselves in the process.

 

In my opinion, the most important relationship that you have to work on and make strong is the one with yourself. Be strong, loving and caring towards yourself. Don’t be afraid to say no to others when you don’t want something. Every minute that you spend doing something against your will, is a minute of your life that is wasted and gone. It’s an unbelievable feeling of liberation to be able to say “NO”. In my experience, it also contributed to making me stronger and self-assured. Deep inside we know exactly what we want and don’t want, so be true to yourself and express that in a nice but firm way. Try it out and have fun saying: NO! – The reactions are funny.

 

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Photo by: Antonio Photographer. Tbilisi, Georgia

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The magic of letting go!
The magic of letting go! 1200 400 Galia Brener

Letting go is one of the hardest yet important things to do. This can be difficult for some people, like myself, because us sensitive types feel emotions quite deeply, we are loyal, compassionate, empathetic and caring. We often take things too closely to the heart, get hurt very easily and sometimes carry the sorrows of the world upon our shoulders. We tend to worry a lot, get offended, and in general, allow people to hurt us. The way I see it is that we emotional/sensitive types have a big karmic lesson to learn: to take things easier and learn the magic of letting go!

 

Do you have difficulties to let things go? For example, you hear that someone said something bad about you that you don’t deserve. Or when you have an argument with your partner, you might be tempted to go on fighting until s/he realizes that you are right, and not them. Maybe you had a painful breakup, or you do something really wonderful for someone, and they don’t appreciate it. You have a fight with your mom or best friend, your boss screams at you for no apparent reason, you get shoved hard on the train and fall down. Or the guy you really like has not called back in over two weeks after your date. Whatever the case is, it will gnaw at you until you manage to let it go.

 

My friend Gloria went through a rough breakup last year. It was terrible and unfortunately she hasn’t managed to become her usual happy-self ever since. She thought he was the love of her life and that they would get married one day. It turned out that he showed his true nature after two years, and was a complete opposite of whom she met and initially fell in love with. He had serious addictions, was short-tempered and treated her quite badly the last half a year they were together. She tried to do everything to save the relationship. However, the more she gave, the more he took, and the meaner he was to her. She couldn’t handle the pain anymore and forced herself to split up with him. This was a very tough decision and went against her heart, but she knew that it was the only way to survive his terror.

 

The following months were a complete shock for Gloria. She lost 10 kg and couldn’t deal with the fact that they were apart and he turned out to be someone completely different. Gloria hoped that his deep inner “goodness” would win over, and realize that he pushed away his best friend, and the only person who truly loved and cared about him. She was much closer to him than his family was. He always said that he felt at home with her and that she was his family. Words of truth? Or a sick game? To make a sad story short, it has been a while and she still didn’t get over it. She simply can’t let go. There are good men lining up for her and she is stuck on a guy who was terrible to her! Gloria told me that she would love him until the end of time. The problem is that if she doesn’t let go, she wont be able to move on and be open for a man who will truly love her. She is missing out on some good chances to be very happy!

 

By letting go, it does not mean that you are weak, and allowing the other to win and take control. Quite the opposite actually. By letting go, you are being smart and loving yourself. Bad people come into our lives as a test for us to see how we deal with such creatures and situations. They will “try” to tease, hurt, harass, manipulate and sometimes even destroy us. However, how deep you allow them to penetrate you is in your own control. Once you clearly see that this person or situation is bad for you, then it’s your job to walk away and not allow them to harm you. Even if they managed to get into your heart, the only way to rid yourself of their poison is by letting go. The power is yours. I think it’s time to turn on our survival instincts, and learn the magic of letting go. Do yourself a favor and let go in order to make place for the good things to come into your life. Holding onto these people and situations is the same as willingly holding onto parasites that you know are destroying your body. That’s sick!

 

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The 1 out of 10 guy
The 1 out of 10 guy 1200 400 Galia Brener

Sounds like a funny yet terrible nickname, right? Unfortunately this label is not a good one and stems out of desperation. I created this nickname after an observation I made two weeks ago when I saw such a man working his tricks live in action. This is a type of man that has absolutely no standards or a qualification system, because he takes anything that he can get. His only requirement is a vagina. If one is there, then he will take it. He tries his pathetic luck with every woman that his eye catches, and 1 out of 10 will take the bait and go with him! Sadville.

 

Two weeks ago, I took the ICE train from Frankfurt to Munich. Unfortunately for me, the train drivers were striking that day, and there was a big chaos at the central train station. My friend and I jumped onto the Mannheim train because we could switch to the Munich one from there. Needless to say the train was completely full. We were lucky to get a seat at the bistro wagon. Across from us, I noticed a man starring at me. He was decent looking, what some would call “average”. He was tall, had dark grayish hair and was probably in his end 40s. He was in good shape and seemed friendly. Not an ugly man who would repulse anyone, but a normal guy. (Or so I thought!). I like to watch people, especially their behavior and interaction patterns.

 

The “1 out of 10 guy” saw that I was there with a man, but that fact didn’t bother him at all. He found his way into our conversation and flirted with me right in front of my friend – who could have actually been my boyfriend or husband. But 1/10-guy didn’t care. He just went straight for his target. He did not pique my interest because there was something a bit creepy about him – the way he kept starring me up and down from the corner of his eye. I kept to myself and did not engage in the conversation, so he got the point and backed off. Within 5 minutes he was chatting up another woman, yet still looking at me while flirting with her. Woman Nr. 2 wasn’t buying his sweet talk either. Next, he simply turned around in mid conversation and started talking to the woman on his other side – victim Nr. 3! She was a bit more gullible. She was buying into his charming talk, even though she clearly saw him flirting with 2 other women, right in front of her eyes! The train stopped in Mannheim and we had to switch.

 

We found another perfect spot in the bistro wagon. And guess what? Poof! Like magic, 1/10-guy appeared in the wagon and sat at a table in front of us. This gave me the perfect chance to observe the animal in his natural habitat. We had 2 more hours to go, and I kid you not, in this span of time, 6 women came and left his table! He even tried to chat up best friends that were sitting next to each other, to see who he could get. He was like a machine. He had no boundaries, no limits and absolutely no shame! Rejection, next. Rejection, next. Again, again and again. I was shocked by his ridiculously desperate persistence. Either he was an extremely horny man who hasn’t had sex in years, or was a psycho maniac, a rapist, or this was simply his normal behavior to lure someone into bed. Shocking.

 

What was even more shocking was the last one: woman Nr. 10. She boarded the train on the last station before Munich and sat beside him. She was about his age and already noticeably intoxicated. He ordered them both a glass of wine, just in case she doesn’t sober up before they arrive in Munich! She was speaking very loudly, in order to draw more attention to her. He needed a warm vagina and she needed attention – a match made in heaven. The train arrived in Munich and they both got out together. On his way out he gave me a nasty wink and left the train. Woman number 10 took the bait. He got her. We saw them kissing and getting into the taxi together. There we have it: out of 10 women, this dreadful guy managed to actually land 1!

 

Ladies he’s not the only one of this despicable sort. There are more of them out there. They go around trying their luck, sleeping with everything that moves. I wouldn’t want to see you become his next victim. Please do yourself a favor and be more observant, watch whom he speaks to, while eyeing you. Do not go home with a man like that. I don’t mean to be vulgar, but you don’t know which holes his penis visited a few hours before! It can also be very dangerous in regards to sexually transmitted diseases or he could be a rapist. Please turn your “awareness hat” on and make sure you don’t fall for his game. Unfortunately men like 1/10-guy don’t value women very much and only see them as objects for their bodily use. I don’t want to see you getting hurt by a repulsive man like that. You have standards and should choose a man who has standards as well. The right man should make you his queen and not woman Nr. 10 out of 10. You deserve to be number 1 – the one and only!

 

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A perfect day for hanging out in the city!
A perfect day for hanging out in the city! 1200 400 Galia Brener

A perfect day for hanging out in the city! #outfitoftheday: hat @maisonvalentino, jacket and belt@Versace, long shirt @vanlaackofficial, scarf @burberry, shoes @jimmychoo, sunglasses @dsquared2. Photo by the artist @markbernart #Fashion #fashionista #style#outfit #ootd #photography #Instafashion #instagood#instago #red #Galiainaction #Galiaoutfits #streetstyle#streetlook #hat #Britain #UK

In ❤️ with my new #Wayfarer glasses! Thanks @rayban!

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