respect

Don’t just text. Call!
Don’t just text. Call! 600 745 Galia Brener
We live in a confusing time where relationships start, develop and end on the smartphone. Having the phone constantly around us is not even the main problem anymore. A much larger issue is that when meeting potential lovers, the preferred way of communication is: texting. Who the hell calls nowadays? Calling each other at the beginning is simply not the standard anymore. Welcome to generation texting. Such a romantic generation!Our phones have become the center of our existence. I myself am guilty of always having my phone in my hand. I have gotten so used to it that I sometimes don’t even realize I’m hanging tightly onto it. This is a strange phenomenon that is too late for us to change because the “phone habit” is so deeply imbedded in us. What’s even more peculiar is the “texting habits” of our time. Today two people meet and will text their brains out until they go out a few times. Either the dating holds for a few more times or they don’t meet anymore, notifying each other via texts that it isn’t working out.My friend Gloria met a guy she liked on Tinder. Belonging to generation texting, they wrote each other back and forth for a few weeks. I asked her why they haven’t spoken on the phone yet, and she said that he doesn’t call her. My advice was to say that she wanted to hear his voice, but she was shy and didn’t suggest it. Sometimes they wrote back and forth for hours each day and on the weekends as well. Why not simply pick up the phone to “say” hello? They finally had their first date and things went well. Of course the communication continued via WhatsApp for the few weeks after that. They kissed and even had sex, but never spoke on the phone. How the hell does that happen? Apparently today, a phone call is more personal than sex. After a month passed by, he was texting her much less, and Gloria felt that something was wrong. He seemed very distant. Eventually he wrote her that he is busy and doesn’t have much time to meet her anymore. To make a long story short, he broke up with her on WhatsApp. Classy move. Bravo.

Quote of the week from my Mama, “Never trust a man that only texts and never calls.”

Mon Dieu. Not a long time ago men would write women love letters, and seal it with their blood and honor! Today we get a smiley without even a nose :) to show us that they are half thinking about us. Why can’t they even attach the minus sign for the nose and at least make it a half decent smiley? ;-) Anyways gentlemen, we are not asking for your blood on a letter or even a nose, but at least a proper phone call now and then to show you care. The voice makes everything so much more personal. You can hear our gentle laugh, and we can enjoy your stories without the embarrassing autocorrect mistakes. Let’s not forget that many misunderstandings occur via texting because sometimes things are misinterpreted. Jokes are taken seriously or the other way around because you cannot hear the intonation of the voice. That’s how meaningless fights also start.

The motto for this year is: Text less and call more. Let’s try to get back to our roots. This goes for both men and women. Call him! Call her! In my opinion, it’s also a respect issue. Texting only is not romantic. I think that it’s lovely to get a quick call from your partner and hear their voice during the day. Or even a nice message on the voice mail if you can’t talk. Let’s try to make a bit more effort to charm our lovers. Even if you sound like Kermit the Frog, we don’t care, hearing your voice makes us happy! Start dialing.

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13 simple things to make your woman happy
13 simple things to make your woman happy 1354 437 Galia Brener

 

Last week I gave you the men’s 13-point list of happiness. This week I compiled our list, and I am pleased to say that there are many similarities! At the end of the day, we all want happiness and love. Getting the women might seem like the hardest part of the dating game, however that is only a small portion of the battle won. The real challenge is not getting the woman, but rather keeping her happy by your side! Dear men, I’m sure you are sitting with your eyebrows raised and a smirk on your face now, but don’t worry, it’s not as hard as you think – you don’t have to be Hercules or a millionaire to succeed at this.

Let’s make it easy for you to understand and compare this to your car that you love so damn much. Imagine you get your dream car – it’s fast, shiny and new! Every time you see it, a wave of happiness rushes through your body and you can’t get your eyes off your new baby! Driving it is one of the best feelings in world. A few years go by, and you notice dents here and there. The new car smell has long evaporated, the leather interior is not so pristine anymore, and the rims have scratches on them. Your car is getting older, but it’s still your baby and you will take care of it, right? With every 10,000 km you lovingly pat the steering wheel, and thank her for being so good to you. Even if she gets very old and is considered an old-timer, you wont just leave her to rust. Much like beautiful cars, women need proper care and attention as well. If you don’t invest time and effort into taking care of the things you love, then you will lose them.

Dear gentlemen, here is a list of 13 things that you can do to keep your woman very happy:

1. Foreplay – go down on her, make her hot and don’t forget to cuddle afterwards

2. Don’t tell her what to do

3. Accept her as she is

4. Be supportive, strong and courageous

5. Be a good listener – show her that you are loyal and caring

6. Be generous – financially and with your attention, compliments and love

7. Always be honest and faithful

8. Be a gentleman – show respect, good manners and take responsibility

9. Be funny and show your sense of humor

10. Surprises – sweet text messages, flowers, dinner and gifts

11. Stay sexy – don’t let yourself go

12. Show her appreciation, kindness and be forgiving

13. Make plans and commitment for your future together

This reminds me of Gloria’s unfortunate story. She was dating a guy who pretended to be her prince charming at the beginning, and did everything to sweep her off her feet. But as time passed by and the more effort she made, the less he gave back in return. He took her for granted, and this slowly killed the love she felt for him. Towards the end of the relationship, it seemed that he didn’t care much at all and showed his true narcissistic nature. Gloria eventually had enough of his selfish crap and left him. After she was gone, months later he finally realized how much he truly loved and missed her, but it was already too late. His flowers and love letters had no meaning for her anymore. She met a real man who was more than willing to make her very happy! Ladies before falling madly in love, keep your eyes open, and make sure that the man genuinely wants to make you happy because he truly loves you. I don’t want to see any more women suffer like Gloria did.

I know I have listed a lot of things to do, but take your time and do it because you want to and not because you have to. Actions and deeds speak louder than words. Always remember to never take your woman for granted. If you are not good to her, then she will eventually leave, and another man will be very willing to make her happy! Relationships are not always easy, and love can be a real bitch, but if you figure out the formula to make her happy, believe me, she will give you even more in return. Making your woman feel special is not so difficult, and a bit more effort on your part will get you ahead (and even head ;-) and keep your woman feeing very happy. After all, with all of the wonderful things we do for you, we deserve it!

13 simple things to make your man happy
13 simple things to make your man happy 1354 437 Galia Brener

 

I’m glad that I decided to write about this topic, because once again, I realized how easy it is to make men happy. Mon Dieu, they are so much less complicated than us women! It’s incredible how little they need to feel happy and loved. Give your man a blowjob, feed him and give him space to do his things, and he’ll be the happiest creature on Earth! Well, it’s not “quite” as easy as that ladies, but definitely not much more difficult either.

All the men that I have interviewed said more or less the same thing. The answers were very down to earth, and it didn’t seem like anyone needed something strange or appalling to make him happy. It makes me very glad to see that most men are happy with simple and doable actions that any woman can do to make her guy happy. Please note that none of them said they need a woman who works a lot, earns tons of money or buys him expensive gifts. No at all, they need a good woman to listen to them and show that she cares. Ladies if you follow these 13 simple things, you will have a very happy and grateful man by your side:

1. Blowjobs and sex. Don’t forget that men connect intimately and physically.
2. Be supportive.
3. Be a good listener, and show him that you are loyal and care.
4. Give him a massage when he’s tired.
5. Always be honest and truthful.
6. Be funny and show your sense of humor.
7. Give him space for his own things and friends.
8. Be happy and this will make him happy too! Ever hear of the saying “Happy wife, happy life?” It’s true, and your positivity will rub off on him too.
9. Surprises – like a cute note, small present, nice lingerie, and special dinner – cook something delicious for him.
10. Do sports together.
11. Stay sexy – don’t let yourself go.
12. Take interest in his hobby – and offer to do it together.
13. Emotional stability. Men don’t want, need or like drama.

This reminds me of Heather’s story. 5 years ago she met a guy and everything started off so well. The first few months were like living in a dream. They didn’t get out of bed for weeks, and she never had so many orgasms in her entire life before. They did lots of things together and really enjoyed each other’s company. But after the initial “Flowers, sex & chocolate” phase ended, reality set in, and Heather showed her egoistic side. Not only did she stop making herself look pretty when they met, but she stopped her effort all together. She told me that she hardly even had sex with him anymore, and didn’t bother doing small things to make him happy. After almost a year, he gave up as well, and the relationship became horrible. The fights began and the drama was out of control. The insane part was that she still loved him very much, but made no effort! I told her to start doing things to make him happy, but her answer was, “What has he done for me lately?!” It was a pure selfish power struggle between the two, and the end was very near. He was a good man, and Heather really regrets the breakup, crying that she could have done more to make him happy! He really didn’t ask for much, but Heather was unfortunately too selfish at the time to see that.

From my own experience, when a man is happy and gets what he needs from his woman, he is very open, pleased and even eager to give back. A good man will always show his appreciation. He sees, and more importantly feels when a woman really loves him and wants to make him happy. Besides, look at those easy 13 points, they are really not asking for too much. My dear ladies, it’s time for us to give back to our sweethearts and make an effort to keep them happy. The good ones definitely deserve it.

Sex on the first date?
Sex on the first date? 640 250 Galia Brener

We live in an age where traditions have become weaker, rules are not important and anything goes. Sleeping around is not so drastic anymore. Or is it? I have asked many of my male friends what their opinion was on this matter. I was very surprised that 75% of them said that they would rather wait with a girl that they really like, rather than jumping into bed right away with her. Most of them answered: No sex on the first date!

Here are the reasons why the men said “No”:

1. If she sleeps with me on the first date, she probable does that same with all the other men as well. I don’t want to have a girlfriend like that.

2. If you get sex right away, there is nothing left to top it off on the next dates.

3. We are hunters and need a challenge! We want to work for the cookie, and not get it easily right away. There’s no fun or excitement in that.

4. If I really like the girl, then I prefer to get to know her first. This builds up the passion and feelings.

5. This shows she respects herself, and I respect her even more for that.

Wow ladies, now that’s what I call some honest answers. Hope is not completely lost – there are still men out there with a gentleman-like outlook on life that are looking for true love and not just fast sex. This is very encouraging for us!

This brings me to Ambrosia’s story. She met a guy at the gym. He is average height, has dark thick hair and ice-colored blue eyes. He’s been flirting with her for a while now, and two weeks ago he finally made his move and asked her out. She agreed and was quite excited because she was very attracted to him. He took her out for a very nice dinner and show. After they went for drinks and had a perfect evening. She called me from the bathroom and asked if she should take him home with her. My gut feeling told me – No! I advised her to let him walk her to the door, thank him for a wonderful evening, allow him to kiss her, give him a tight hug, smile warmly and go upstairs – alone. She didn’t listen to me and took him home. They drank more upstairs, got drunk and had wild sex. Starting upstairs, the date lost its perfect magical feeling, and was more about the sex. They both enjoyed it very much, but surprise surprise; he didn’t call for days after. He sent her an sms 5 days later, saying he was busy. She summoned up the courage to ask why he was behaving so coldly all of a sudden. No joke, this is what he replied, “Ambrosia, you’re a fun girl, and we had a wild night. But I’m looking for something more serious.” She was shocked. She told him that she also wants something serious, and he said, “Do you do the same thing with every man you go out with on the first night – calling this your serious intention?” Ok I have to admit, the guy seems like a jerk, and used the situation, however it does show that she left a wrong impression on him.

Most men will jump at a chance to sleep with you on the first date, but are willing to wait if they really like you. Sure there are some couples that get together after sex on the first date, and even end up getting married – but the percent is much lower to those that actually take the time to get to know each other first.

Another thing the guys told me was that if he disappears after the first dates without sex and doesn’t stay around to get to know you better, than he was only after the sex. You don’t need such a man always. Ciao and next! Waiting to have sex is a wonderful and natural way of selection to see who is really into you, and who only wants your body for a few nights. Waiting with sex also allows you to build up feelings for the person, which will intensify the first sexual encounter and make it even more phenomenal. Sex with feeling is the best, even on the first time!

I agree with the guys that I interviewed, because in my opinion, I always like to get to know the man before. We live in a world where everything is rushed – and patience is almost nonexistent – so why not work against this system and take the time to get to know this new person in our life? What’s with this insane haste to have sex? Maybe this seems like old-fashioned to you, but why not go back to the courting era where dating actually meant something special, and not just getting into her panties? I see nothing wrong with letting the man romance us first. Going out for dinners and talking into the late night hours – learning to feel for this person, before jumping into bed – is such a nice luxury these days, so why not allow ourselves the time to enjoy this luxury? Most of the men told me that at the beginning, mental stimulation separates the woman who will simply become a sex affair or their next girlfriend. If you’re interested in the man for just a sex fling then go ahead, jump his bones. But for something serious, please take your time. It’s worth the wait and he will respect you even more for it.

Deal with your shit!
Deal with your shit! 1354 437 Galia Brener

Wouldn’t is be so nice to run away from all of your problems and pretend they simply don’t exist? Or imagine making a beautiful black wooden box, filling it up with all of your problems, and then burying it somewhere in the woods, or maybe even burning the box – and POOF, like magic – your problems are gone? Dream on. Unless you deal head on with your problems, they will not disappear. In fact, if you ignore or push them away, they will sneak up on you and hunt you down when you least expect it!

My very good friend Tony is experiencing this problem right now. He and his ex girlfriend broke up about half a year ago. She was and always will be his only true love. He told me many times that she is his soul mate, and he could always be himself only around her. He often told her “I feel at home with you, and you are my family.” She never judged him, and always supported his goals and path in life. He was able to let the child in him out around her, and he felt truly loved and understood only by her. To make a long story short, they broke up for reasons I cannot mention. For him it was like a huge piece of his heart was ripped out of his body, and he was hurting very deeply after the breakup. For her the pain was even more intense. However, both dealt with it in completely different ways. She cried her heart out for months, did lots of sports, got into amazing shape, developed her new business and worked out through the emotional stress and pain. She paid respect to herself, him and the relationship, and didn’t jump onto the next best man to ease her pain. She stayed alone and dealt with the breakup!

Tony on the other hand, did the complete opposite. He couldn’t deal with the pain and being alone, so he jumped onto the “third best” thing. We were all shocked to see whom he chose after his beautiful ex! The new older lady presents him with financial stability, and he is simply “comfortable” using the situation and “parking” with her. There is no deep passion running through his veins, and no blood pumping in his heart, which drives Tony crazy with love – and the sex is not that special either. His pain was masked over at first, but after some months, he found himself thinking more and more about his ex, and missing her a lot! The new lady feels that he still loves his ex, and this drives her crazy! Tony misses his true love, her touch, her smile and scent. He misses her caresses, the passionate kisses, the fun quirky character, the long talks about life and everything else on the planet. She is unlike any other women he ever knew! True love cannot just “disappear” or be substituted by some third-best option. They have been through a lot together, and such a strong bond cannot be easily replaced. I told him, had he dealt with his shit the right way, none of this would be happening. I have pity for her because it hurts very much to know that he will never love her even close to as much as he loves his ex. The new older lady tries to hang onto him with her claws and teeth… but he is slipping away.

“Working out our shit” is not only connected to love problems, but also with everyday life occurrences. For example, if you have a debt to pay out, bills, something hurts you and you haven’t checked it out at the doctor yet, you had a fight with your best friend, get a new job, lose weight, your car sounds strange, or that thing you’ve been meaning to do for years now, finish your taxes, get rid of a phobia, stop smoking or drinking, or whatever it is you need to do and have been pushing away to the side! If you don’t deal with your problems the right way, they will only cause you extreme stress and anxiety. They will sit and eat away at your brain, creating one stressful worry after another! The only way to stop this madness is to get up, take action, and solve your issues! “Action” is the only way to attack and solve problems. The most amazing thing is that once you find your power and courage to simply start, the solution will slowly come to you in the process as well. However, this will only happen if you are willing to take the first step, and take action.

Ladies and gentlemen the best advice I can give you, after falling down myself a few times is: No matter how tough things seem to be, take the first step of action. It’s ok to take baby steps at first, but it’s important to start and not drag things out! Do not burry the pain or hide the problems for a later time, find your courage and deal with your shit ASAP, or else your shit will deal with you! If it deals with you, it may bring with it health issues, stress, illness, anxiety or even paranoia. Life is a bitch, and we must all deal with our own given dosage of shit. So unless we find the courage to take action, we will be left swept aside as “victims” of our problems. And trust me, you don’t want to be a poor victim in life. Pity is handed out for free, and jealousy must be earned!

Know your worth!
Know your worth! 514 193 Galia Brener

Everyone wants true love, even though many are too proud or embarrassed to admit it. They think that saying they need love might sound desperate, but it doesn’t. Love is the magic ingredient that makes life so much better, shinier and brighter. The only problem these days is that since sex is so easy to get, love has become harder to find! Some girls make themselves easily available for men to take and use as they wish. Then these men believe that this is possible with all girls, and so the vicious circle begins! The question is ladies, how much are you willing to sacrifice of yourself to get love and attention from a man? Even if he treats you badly, and you know you deserve better?

My friend Claudia learned this the hard way. Some months ago she met an extremely attractive man whom she quickly fell for. They only saw each other once a week, but she wanted to spend more time with him. As his nickname suggests, he played it very cool and had no time for her. He would take a day or two to answer her text messages, and almost never called her. He would wait last minute to make plans with her, and kept her waiting on hold quite often. However, when they did meet, it was quite nice. He would usually come to her place after their date, and they would have intense passionate sex. Strangely though, as cold and distant as he was, he would take her in his arms and cuddle after sex, and they would sleep the entire night in each other’s arms. Sometimes they also watched a movie and cuddled all evening. The next day he would leave, and as usual Claudia wouldn’t hear from him for a week. Some of his actions showed that he “might” want more, but deep down Claudia knew that he was just playing her, yet she continued to be in denial.

One evening they went to a party, and everyone was having a great time. Claudia had a glass of Prosecco too much, and felt the liquid courage to talk to Mr. Cold about how she felt. She told him straight up that she didn’t want to have a fling, affair or anything meaningless with him. She was on the market for true love, and nothing less than that! Mr. Cold was quite drunk himself and said he didn’t know what he wants, but really liked spending time with her! And so this “thing” whatever it was that they were having, continued. A few months passed and the situation was not getting better. He barely gave her once a week of his time, and he always disappeared on the weekends. It became worse. He would call during late hours and ring her doorbell at 4am, waking her and the entire building up! He would stand underneath her windows at night, convincing her that he must come upstairs, or begging her to come down for “just” a kiss.

It was obvious that he wanted her body, but not her heart. Claudia felt disgustingly used, like a whore who he came to fuck at night and leave in the morning. Every time he left her place she would hate herself a bit more. Mr. Cold was excruciatingly good looking, like Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray. She loved to look at him underneath her, while she was riding him in bed. But his beauty was not enough for such a sacrifice of her honor! She wanted to have a family, and give herself to a man who actually made the effort to commit to a real future with her. I was so angry, and told her to throw this “Cold-Garbage” away, and get some self-respect! Never ever allow a man to use you like this!

A warning to you good women out there: unfortunately Mr. Cold is a common type these days. These kind of men are simply out there to use good women, get what they want in bed, and run away. Do not compromise yourself for such a man, because you will get hurt! If you want something real and long-term, keep that as a target in your life. Men like Mr. Cold will only set you back, and make you feel worthless and used. You are not a doormat or a hotel for a quick layover! The most important thing to realize is that it is impossible to change someone like Mr. Cold, and make him think that he wants a relationship. Even if you manage to “trap” him into this, he will end up cheating and/or leaving. It’s not worth it. If you want something more meaningful than just cheap-sex, make sure you know your worth and not side-track yourself with a parasite like Mr. Cold. Save your love and kindness for a man who will actually appreciate and deserve it. If a man wants you for something serious, then he will show this to you! A good man will not waste your time for months without a commitment. Men are not stupid, and know exactly what they want, and whom they want it with – so know your worth and don’t sell yourself for less!

Don’t take your partner for granted!
Don’t take your partner for granted! 1354 437 Galia Brener

The weekend has arrived, and it’s finally time for some fun! You reserve a table at your favorite Italian restaurant, and make yourself pretty for your man. Unfortunately when you leave the house, he doesn’t say anything about how you look. Damn it, another wasted effort. You arrive at your table and order a bottle of wine. After your second glass, you see a couple entering the restaurant holding hands. The handsome man leads his special lady to the table, pulls back her chair and helps her with her coat. While waiting for your food to arrive, you observe them laughing in the most intimate way. After a few minutes the guy leans over, kisses her passionately on the lips, and takes her hand into his. You sigh, turn back to your man and ask, “Baby, why don’t you kiss me like that anymore?” He laughs and says, “Come on, these two have just started dating, can’t you see that?” When their champagne arrives, and you hear the man telling his woman, “Happy 7 year anniversary my love!” You sigh again – deeper and sadder this time. You realize that he is taking you for granted.

This reminds me of Claudia and her ex. When they first met, he was literally Prince Charming out of a fairytale. He took her out to dinner in beautiful places under the starry sky. He wrote her little romantic notes and hid them all over her flat. He would surprise her with flowers and chocolates. He would write her the sweetest good night/morning messages, which was the first thing she saw each day. In return, she also did many wonderful things for him. They were so happy, and it seemed like nothing else existed apart from their love for each other. As time went by, Claudia’s ex started to “get used” to having her around. He stopped giving her compliments, and noticing her effort to look good for him. The sex in their relationship disappeared almost completely, and on their anniversary he didn’t even bother to get her flowers. He took her more and more for granted each passing month. He didn’t pay her much attention, and was irritated when they talked. He was often in a bad mood, and took it out on her. This was extremely painful for Claudia, and she started to back away emotionally from him. Eventually they broke up and a wonderful man appeared in her life, which has been incredibly wonderful to her ever since. Her ex realized what a mistake he made, and tried desperately to get her back. Unfortunately it was too late, because he took her for granted and lost her. He still cannot forget her, because he now understands how much she truly loved him.

What does it mean to take your partner for granted? It means that one does not fully appreciate the other person for what they are, what they do for them, and what they bring into the relationship. It also means that one doesn’t notice the importance of the other, and doesn’t acknowledge the love being given to them. Basically it comes down to the fact that one partner doesn’t really value the other anymore. Unfortunately almost all of us are a bit guilty of taking our partner for granted, without always being aware of this! Think back to when you first met your love, and how amazing the first year was. Remember the fireworks in your stomach, and the way your heart skipped a beat when you thought of them? The more we forget this, the more our love is in danger of dying. It’s time to wake up, become aware, and fix the problem. How, you ask?

Thankfully this is easier to fix than you think! You can start right away by trying this out:

1. Telling her more often how beautiful she is. Or how handsome he is. Compliments in general are very good! Don’t be cheap on the nice words.
2. Buy her flowers more often. Do it for no reason at all, just to let her know you care.
3. Look into her eyes and tell her you love her more often. I promise that it won’t lose its meaning.
4. Don’t flirt, stare or look back at other women. That hurts!
5. Tell him how much you appreciate his help, and of course compliment him and his strength. Never forget “Please” and “Thank you”. Show that his efforts mean a lot to you.
6. No matter how busy you are, make time to spend together, and invite her out for dinner dates, just like when you first started dating.
7. Make as much time for sex as possible. When this is neglected, your partner automatically feels unwanted and unattractive.
8. Never stop the kissing! It’s not called the “French Kiss” for nothing. It keeps the passion going.
9. Pay attention to each other when speaking. Listen and help. Be there for your partner through ups and downs, by being their best friend!
10. Do not cheat. This is the beginning of the end.
11. Don’t just take from your partner, give back as well! Show your appreciation with deeds.
12. If she’s sick, be there for her. Be empathetic, understanding and caring.
13. If he has stress at work or with his family, lay him down on your lap and caress him. Sometimes a soothing massage is better than words. Show him you care about what’s going on in his life.
13. Have fun! Like in the beginning, go on spontaneous dates, trips, get drunk together and sing underneath the moon. Do something wild and mischievous together.
14. Don’t snap at each other, or use nasty tones. Control your temper, and show respect – especially while arguing. Do not take your bad mood or anger out on your partner.
15. Send her a short romantic SMS during the day. Leave a naughty post-it in his gym bag.
16. Get each other small gifts for no special reason – just to show your appreciation.
17. Do something that maybe you don’t necessarily like, but you know it pleases your partner – like going to the opera, or on a romantic hotel weekend.
18. Help each other with the housework. Sing or dance while doing it, its super fun!
19. Cook something delicious for him. A well-fed man is a happy man.
20. Give her enough attention! Women are like flowers – give them attention and they blossom!

Gentlemen don’t forgot that there are many wonderful men out there who would be more than glad to make your woman happy and give her what you don’t! Same goes the other way around for women. Take a few minutes and think when was the last time you did something from the 20 points above. I always say that it’s never too late to change and make your relationship better. If this love is special, then make sure you do all you can to keep it happy and healthy.

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