relationship

Sexy Sex ♥
Sexy Sex ♥ 1354 437 Galia Brener

It’s a cold winter, and the mind automatically wanders off to long nights of hot passionate lovemaking. You close your eyes and fantasize about a room with a big fireplace in the middle, surrounded by warm sheepskin rugs, and hypnotic ambient music. You and your partner spend hours telling each other intimate secrets, kissing, playing with his thick dark hair, while he is holding you around the waist, you are arching your back, revealing your breasts to him, wrapping your legs around his hard body, and longing for his lips to caress you in the most intimate spots.

Sex is passion. Sex makes the heart beat faster. Lovemaking awakens your body and makes you feel sensations that you never knew existed. If you tie a silk scarf over your eyes and let your partner touch your skin slowly, you will be surprised at how your senses will awaken. A slow sensual touch with the fingers or lips on the lower back, neck, inside of the upper arm, behind the knees and wrists can take you on a wild rollercoaster ride! Taking the time to discover his/her body, and finding each other’s erogenous zones can be a wonderful way to increase your intimacy. You can interchange between slower sensual, and faster wild rhythmic sex. Each time, discovering new and exciting ways of lovemaking.

Sex works magic for the body, mind and soul. Not only do you have a chance to experience the mind blowing, shivering intense feeling of a climax, you also increase your wellbeing and beauty! While having hot passionate sex, the female body produces double the estrogen levels, which makes the skin smoother and hair shinier! The body lets go of stress after a hard day of work, and the relaxations starts. Talk about “sex-with-benefits!” Sex also releases endorphins, which make your body and mind feel the blissful effects of euphoria. You feel like the queen that you are! Lifting weights at the gym is so boring, therefore lovemaking is a fabulous way to stay fit. Burn 200 or more calories each time… depending on how experimental and wild you both are.

Sex is a wonderful way to increase the intimacy with your partner. Reaching orgasms together increases the levels of the hormone oxytocin, which is the “love hormone” that helps people bond and build trust. Keep in mind that men bond physically, while women bond emotionally. Therefore ladies, keep your relationship healthy and strong, by making time for hot lovemaking with your man. When the men are happy physically, they will make you happy emotionally! Don’t forget to put on that heart-racing new babydoll you ordered from Victoria Secret, and a spray of your favorite seductive perfume, on all the right places.

A colleague of mine, let’s call her Ambrosia, was telling me about her wild love and “sexcapades” with a well-known German restauranteur. They met at the Käfer’s tent at the Oktoberfest in Munich. He was younger than her, and had a body like Hercules. When they locked eyes for the first time, it felt like the roof was on fire. He ordered Champagne, but all she wanted was a cold beer, preferably in a large hard Masskrug. After a few rendezvous with Hercules, Ambrosia could not stand the wild pulsation between her lovely legs anymore. She wanted him immediately! She took him to her cozy altbau flat in Frankfurt, and threw him onto her bed. She ripped his shirt open, kissed his strong chest, while running her fingernails down his muscular back. She felt him getting harder with each touch. Hercules tilted her head back, and kissed her long soft neck, with the strength of his full lips. He stroked her perky breasts, while undressing her. This drove Ambrosia wild, so she sat on him, and showed Hercules what lovemaking really was. He was fascinated by her seduction and brave moves on him. They had breathtaking sex all over the flat, restaurants and other mysterious places, including his childhood bedroom. He was simply enchanted by her loveliness, intelligence, warm and open heart, creativity and passion. Her favorite thing to do was caress his “Masskrug” during the night while he was sleeping. This made him wake up to her sensual touch, and they would make love in the mesmerizing dark hours. Ambrosia and Hercules’s passion for each other could be felt whenever they walked into any room, anywhere and anytime. When they were together, people would stare at them with open mouths. Their love, energy, temper, loyalty, passion and adoration for each other were irreplaceable.

Sex and passion make you feel sexy. In order to enjoy, you need to relax, let go of your thoughts, worries, stress, and lose yourself in the act of seduction and lovemaking. Do not worry what you look like or what face you make while having a mind-blowing orgasm! Enjoy the ride and free your mind and body. Lovemaking is therapeutic, and often brings two hearts closer together. Great sex also helps to increase one’s self-esteem. If the sex is loving, and you feel connected to your partner, this will make you feel like the beauty that you truly are. Go ahead and have some sexy sex. You deserve it!

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My name is EGO, your killer!
My name is EGO, your killer! 1354 437 Galia Brener

Hello, my name is Ego, and I am here to destroy your relationships. I am your best friend, and in fact, I am you! Let me teach you our rules: you better damn know that we are always right! They hurt us, so we must punish them by becoming distant, cold, and letting them suffer. Let’s stay mad, and not talk to them for a few days, see how they feel about that! That will teach them a big lesson, and make them crawl back to us, begging for forgiveness. I am the best, smartest, most intelligent, fantastic thing that exists. I am the EGO after all! My way of doing things is always the best. Everyone must do things my way, because I am a control freak! I must warn you about our enemy “Love”. Being your ego, I want what’s best for you. I take care of you, and make sure you are always protected against the enemy. Love is very tricky. Love always wants me to listen to the other side of the story, and also admit when I am wrong! Can you believe it?! Love requires a strange thing called “compromising”. It’s totally beneath me. I do not do compromising since my opinion is the right one, why should I agree with anyone else? They must only agree with me! If Love doesn’t understand that, then she can drown herself in the toilet. I will be happy to push the handle and watch her flush down, where she belongs. My name is EGO, and I am the only one who truly cares about you. I want the best for you! I adore always saying “I”, since “I” am the center of the Universe!

Sounds funny right? Unfortunately, that’s what happens in the minds of most people, including yours. Maybe not to such a drastic extent, but everyone’s Ego has gotten in the way of their happiness, at least once in their lives.

My friend Cindy told me a story about her boyfriend. They loved each other very much. Unfortunately after a few months, both started having problems with their jobs. This stressed them out, and made them fight. They had long talks, and Cindy realized what her mistakes were. She wanted to compromise and make the necessary steps to heal the relationship. She loved him more than the air she breathed. He continued to be cold and distant, even though she made such a huge effort to come towards him, and understand him. She opened her heart to him, and explained why these problems occurred, because she waned them to find a path together for the future. Cindy managed to step over her ego, and did all she could to save the relationship. His mistakes also created problems and fights, but he wouldn’t admit it. With horror, she realized, “How can a man suddenly turn off his love and emotions towards her, when he supposedly loved her so much?” And then the bitter truth struck her. He never did truly love her. A man that genuinely loves his woman is happy when she wants to make compromises, and save the relationship. Everyone is different when entering a relationship, and only compromises can save true love. Throwing something away is quite easy. His ego and pride were standing in his way. He couldn’t see beyond, and it made him weak. Due to this, he lost the person that loved him more than anyone ever did or will. He will realize this as time goes by, when sadness and regret settle deep in his broken heart. By then, it will be too late.

To be able to “truly” love, you must drop the ego. The Ego knows no difference between male or female. We all have this evil inside of us. The Ego sticks its wicked claws into the person, controls them, and usually ruins their loves and lives. It must be controlled and not given any power! For example feeling jealousy, or feeling the need to argue with your partner until s/he admits that you are right. These fights usually occur about minor issues, and during times of stress. You might think that the other is taking advantage of you, and your point of view is less important then theirs. My advice to you is, don’t sweat the small stuff, simply let it go! You cannot always be right. What helps is resisting the temptation to always feel the need to defend yourself. This is actually the Ego defending itself. The Ego will win the argument, but you can lose your partner. Think about it, is this situation worth losing your loved one?

After this initial reaction to a fight, there is sometimes a need to continue punishing the partner. He hurt you, and therefore must pay the price for this. You give him/her the silent treatment, creating mountains of distance between you two. Who will write or call first? How long will you continue to treat your partner this way after the argument? Until the love completely dies? Actually, you are also hurting yourself in the process of this unnecessary harsh treatment.

You must learn to agree to disagree! Learn to compromise! After arguments, the Ego will always try to trick you with doubts, fear, self-defense, re-thinking/evaluating the relationship, thinking “This doesn’t make me happy anymore, I need to protect myself and get out now!” The cold brutal rationality kills any feeling of love that you both established before. There will be fights once in a while, but you must be ready to let the issue go, or not only give blame, but also take blame upon yourself. Even Soul Mates are challenged with fights, in order to determine if their love for each other is real and strong. Be brave and tame your Ego. Build your own inner strength! This will not humiliate you, quite the opposite actually, this will make you strong and brave! How much longer do you want to be a slave to your Ego? If you are not willing to adjust to each other and work together on your relationship, then do yourself and your heart a favor, do not fall in love at all.

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Keep the Faith!
Keep the Faith! 1354 437 Galia Brener

You just came, or shall I say ‘ran’ home from a date that you do not even want to admit that happened. How did you escape? Did you suddenly remember your great grandmother’s 130th birthday party, which actually starts in one hour, and “Oh no!” you left the birthday present: pet-monkey-in-a-box, underneath the seat of the U4? Or did you pull off the brave “force-yourself-out-of-the-restaurant-bathroom-window” getaway, not caring about the thorny rose bushes below? The main thing is that you got out of there fast, alive, and without a trace – of course not counting the bloody scratches from the roses. Anything, just not to enduring another hour with the date you’ve realized is actually an alien in a dress, or suit and tie. After all, how bad can flying through glass windows really be? I’m sure you will need this talent eventually some day, so consider it good practice for other insane situations. Congratulations! You have escaped the date from hell. You get home to your comfortable couch and think, “Do I ever want to go through that again?” It’s not just about the dates, but also the relationships, and even marriages. It’s about going through those awful experiences, which you never wish to repeat again, yet still miraculously being able to keep the faith in true love! Can you do that; keep the faith?

My best friend Jilli dated a guy last year. Let’s call him “C”. Last December they flew to Paris, to spend a beautiful weekend together. After all, isn’t Paris supposed to be the most romantic city in the world? On Saturday night, they went to Silencio, which is an astoundingly beautiful and mysterious nightclub, designed by David Lynch. The first drinks were ordered, and they went to dance. After some time, C went to get more drinks. 30 minutes have passed… then 1 hour, and he was nowhere to be seen. Jilli became concerned and went to search for him. She found C at the dark bar, with a woman on each side, hugging, laughing and drinking together. In front of them were numerous empty shot glasses and drinks. C had forgotten about her, and seemed to be having a wonderful time with these females. Instead of freaking out, Jilli approached the bar, turned her back to him and introduced herself to the women. After a few shared jokes, Jilli took over their attention, and the ladies had completely forgot about C’s existence. C was dumbly confused at how such a switch could suddenly happen?

While Jilli appeared to be laughing with the ladies, inside, her heart was shattering into a million pieces. Why the hell did she fly to Paris with him? Definitely not to stand alone in a dark club and watch him flirt with and touch other women in front of her face! What the hell was wrong with this imbecile?! She wanted to cry and scream at him; she was hurt and so damn disappointed. But instead, she went back to their hotel, packed her bag, and took the first flight back home alone to Frankfurt. It turned out that C is a suffering entity that keeps looking for the next adventure in order to feel at least half-alive. He sold his young company for multi-million Euros a few years back, and somehow lost touch with reality. Inside, he is extremely lonely, and suffers deeply because he cannot differentiate between which people are around him for his money, or because of him as a person. This is his curse, and therefore, he will never be able to find true love. The sad thing is that Jilli did not see this at the beginning, because he masked his rotten heart with convincing smiles, sweet words and promises. Jilli had true intentions for him, but got extremely hurt in the process. After time had passed, Jilli heard that C still treats all women like worthless pieces of dirt, even though some good ones have crossed his path. His regrets shall come later, when he is old and all alone.

What was Jilli supposed to do after this horror weekend? Give up on men, never go on dates anymore, or give up hope of finding true love? (Same goes the other way around for men in such situations). I believe that you never really know why something is happening, as it’s happening to you. The real reason becomes clear sometime later. In such situations, there are only two things that can be done. First is to have strong and unconditional faith; that good things will come to you when the time is right. What’s also important, is to believe that you deserve this goodness! This strong unrelenting faith is what shall keep you going. This is not easy, but it’s the only way to survive in this harsh dating world. The second choice is to lose faith in the goodness in people, and give up. Once this happens, deep sadness and bitterness sets in, and that’s when the downward spiral begins. It’s quite a dangerous path. However, I personally believe that this is a life lesson, and as strangely as it sounds, may even be a test – to see how much one really believes in and deserves true love. Giving up is the easiest path. It’s actually the strongest individuals who love beyond all imperfections, cry behind closed doors, and fight heartbreaking battles.

Jilli was upset for the following few months. She was angry at herself for falling into such a painful trap. The ego was hurt. But as time passed and grievances were forgotten, the heart still longed to meet a special person, and find true love. Little did Jilli know that one year after the catastrophic time with C, due to her unconditional faith in finding love – especially after such sick experiences – she will be together with her soul mate in Frankfurt, and finally have true love!

The point of this story is that Jilli did not give up, as tempting as it was. Let’s be realistic, we have all had our fair share of absurd dating situations, disappointments, failure of expectations and cruel intentions. But must we give these people the power to discourage and turn us into bitter non-believers? Best is to gather your strength, sense of survival, and not allow such people and situations to damage you. If you have been knocked down, get up, dust yourself off, find the courage and faith within yourself, and continue – knowing that you deserve better! True love really does exist, but you must believe in it.

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Not So Casual Sex
Not So Casual Sex 1354 437 Galia Brener

We live in a time where dating different partners is as easy as owning many pairs of shoes. Whenever a newer, sought-after style comes out, we quickly forget the open-toe of last year, and run to the shops to buy the horrible sneakers with an integrated wedge heel. As soon as these monstrosities go out of style, there will surely come something newer, shinier, and prettier… but does that automatically make it better? Just like we change and throw out our shoes, our society has made it acceptable to do the same with partners that we date and sleep with. What happened that this became a “made-for-one-time-use-only” disposable generation? Like a multiple test in school: A, B, C, D, “all, or none” of the above, do we live in a multiple-choice society?

Jules and I went for a Bloody Mary at Vai Vai last week. She told me that she met a nice guy at the super cool Rockmarket party in Frankfurt. That evening they had a long chat about life, relationships, philosophy, and other fascinating topics. After the party, they kept in touch, and have decided to meet again. They had a wonderful evening of delicious food and drinks, and ended up going to his place. This mystery man was mesmerized by Jules, kissing her all the way up the stairs to his flat. They laughed, shared some private jokes, and had passionate sex into the early morning hours. After waking up, they had some coffee, and she left. A week has passed, and Jules is still waiting for him to call. Meanwhile, our mystery man has disappeared. For him, it was just casual sex. For her, it was not so casual.

Casual Sex: how do you feel the next morning, after the glittery glamorous butterfly effects of the alcohol has worn off, the make-up is smeared all over the face, the person you shared your body with is sleeping on the other end of the bed, back turned to you, and you feel… empty. The heart wants more. It wants to be hugged, caressed, loved, cuddled and be assured that the world is a beautiful and bright place to live in. But reality strikes when you open your eyes the next morning, and see the look in the other’s face, the looks that says without words, “Please leave my flat, I do not want to deal with you in my bed now… or ever.” That’s the look that makes you get dressed as quickly as possible, leave the scene of the crime, take the torturous walk of shame home, and try to forget that this ever happened. Do we really ever forget these events? Or do they haunt and torture us, taking with them a small piece of our soul, leaving a tiny empty hole.

Then again, there are some that simply love sex. They adore the exploration of the body, having a thrilling night of passion and seduction, without any strings attached. Why settle down for one, when there can be a new one as often as wanted? Instead of one grotesque wedge heeled-sneaker, you can have 10 in all different colors and styles! It’s casual sex between two consenting adults. Let’s take Samantha from Sex and the City as an example. She was a beautiful, successful, independent woman that enjoyed having casual sex. She was completely happy and satisfied with the many sexual variations in her life… and then came Smith. Once true love entered the scene, all variety was forgotten. Even Samantha, the lover of many lovers, gave into being with only one man, the man that won over her heart.

Expectation management: Casual sex is ok, as long as you can live with a non-guilty conscience of the consequences that follow. It has been observed that women are more likely to want more from a man after a night spent together, whereas for some men, it is simply casual sex. However, this is not to say that the roles cannot be reversed. But usually, women connect on an emotional level, whereas men tend to connect on a physical level. Is it possible to avoid getting hurt by discussing future expectations before getting into bed? Or is it a mood-killer?

What must be avoided, due to the sheer respect for a fellow human being, is leading someone on, with false expectations and illusions. This reminds me of a story that my friend Claudia told me once. Two years ago, she dated someone for a few weeks. Let’s call him “Cutlery-Man”. This summer she saw him at a street fest in the city. They had a warm reunion and went to her house for a delicious glass of Barolo, and a heart-to-heart conversation. He showered her with promises of a beautiful future together. She was looking into his bright blue eyes, charmed with every word that came out of his mouth. She figured that since they knew each other from the past, he would not lie to her. She gave into his hypnotic tales of a fraudulent life, and made love the entire night. Little did she know, he had not put on a condom as promised, and as he coldly left her flat the next morning, she rushed to her doctor to get the morning after pill. She was nauseous and sick all day, not only due to this awful strong pill, but also from his irresponsibility, and cruel carelessness. It dawned upon her, that his intentions were never true. He disgustingly lied his way into a night of casual sex with her. He did not even care about the damage this pill made to her body and soul. “Cutlery-Man” is a Frankfurt banker that came from a rural area. He is an empty walking shell of a man that has lost his happiness and joy for life. His selfishness possibly stems from the fact that he never got the proper love he needed at home, and therefore, he became a bitter man, a ghost. A week later, Claudia found out that Cutlery-Man has been calling and trying to sleep with a girlfriend of hers as well, knowing that both girls knew each other!

Saying all of the above, there have been times where casual sex has led to true love. I even know a couple that started dating, and got engaged shortly after. Fairytales do come true. Fate is a marvelous thing that can surprise you at the strangest of times! Be good, kind, fair, honest, respectful to yourself and others, and good things will come to you.

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