happy

Eat what you want and be happy!
Eat what you want and be happy! 1200 400 Galia Brener

In order to start this column in the most authentic way possible, I have ordered a family-sized pizza, with a soft drink and ice cream for dessert. Often I find myself thinking, how long do we actually have to live a lovely, fun, happy and satisfying life? 85 years if we are lucky. We start thinking about our body image at the age of 15 until approximately 70. That leaves us with 55 years of worrying about being skinny, having the perfect shape, no cellulite, toned muscles, fitting into smaller and smaller sizes, and having those bloody skinny jeans laying around that we so desperately want to fit into, but mysteriously never “comfortably” can! We force ourselves to eat a salad everyday – over and over again. Daily salad consumption, for 55 years makes it…. 20,075 damn salads! Congratulations boys and girls, we are officially worse than rabbits. I think it’s time to start eating what we want and feeling happy about it!

 

Hungry = Angry. When hungry, your serotonin levels are low, and hence you feel angry, and sometimes even depressed. My mom knows not to talk to me until I have eaten a proper meal; otherwise I become a walking monster. I get irritated and short-tempered. Even worse than that, my stomach and head start to hurt. Believe it or not, the “evil carbohydrates” help to rebuild serotonin quicker in your brain, which is responsible for making you feel happy. So do not run away from carbs, because if eaten in the right dosage, they are your friends!

 

We live in a time where being skinny has become the definition of beauty. Maybe I really am from another planet and do not understand the Earthly ways, but aren’t our curves and softness what makes us women feminine and beautiful? Yes? Then why is everyone going crazy to become a size 0? Somehow between the 1950’s and today, something got terribly lost in translation. This makes me angry! Who the hell started this mass confusion and is responsible for this ridiculous chaos? Every (good) single man that I have spoken to lately says that he would love to meet a woman with nice curves. Can it be that us women are making our own life so complicated? Then again, I remember my 2nd ex blaming me for becoming fat after a visit to Japan (Without him…) I gained 4 kg, and he made it sound like I became a blimp. Thank God I got rid of that freak. I was in a new country and he thought that I wouldn’t try all of the delicious exotic foods? I would give him up again and again for a fresh piece of Kobe beef!

 

My friend Anatoly was dating a beautiful voluptuous Brazilian woman. They shared a huge passion for food. They cooked together and tried out new restaurants. Anatoly adored her curves. She was the perfect vision of femininity for him. When they got married, his wife started spending more time with the snobby neighborhood women. They assured her that all the husbands have younger, skinnier and beautiful mistresses at work. They were crazy paranoid witches that influenced her very negatively. She lost a lot of weight, and did not eat much with Anatoly anymore. Their shared passion has disappeared. She was constantly hungry, moody and angry. The love was suffering. She lost her beautiful feminine curves and her bones hurt him while trying to make love. She became a ghost of what she once was and eventually this led to divorce. He loved her desperately, and tried to show her the light, but she was lost in her own superficial world.

 

Guilt = Fat. I will share with you something important that I have learned from my past. If I would eat something really fatty, or in large amounts, I would constantly worry about it. I knew that the calories and fat were quite high and felt that it will cause my body damage. I gained much weight in only just a week! I felt guilt all the time. It was a psychological jail, with the torture included! A few weeks later I lost those kilos and decided to make an experiment. I ate exactly the same food and amounts, but felt no guilt or remorse afterwards. I felt good about what I ate because I knew that for this moment of my life, I needed this food. The carbs made me happy! I felt relaxed because I could eat what I wanted without feeling bad. Well guess what? Same food, same amount and my weight did not change. Sounds unreal, but it’s true. It’s all a psychological mind game. Guilt attracts negativity into your life and body. Guilt will make you gain weight rapidly! Stop the guilt!

 

Soul food = Happy person. The evil burger is calling your name. You tell it to shut up, but it doesn’t work because you fantasize about its juices in your mouth. Go ahead and eat the damn burger. Of course I am not suggesting you to exaggerate every day, and get a heart attack, but a bit more pleasure with your meals will make you happier. My theory is to enjoy and eat what you want, but not to overdo it. Have your healthy stuff in between, but leave space for the treats and goodies that your heart and soul desire. Love yourself and feed yourself. Do not starve, because your body will not forgive you. And remember… life is too bloody short to live on salads!

 

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Are You Beautiful?
Are You Beautiful? 1200 400 Galia Brener

Last week I met my girls for a drink and we got into a heated discussion about appearances. 3 out of the 4 said that it matters what others think of their appearance, especially other women. If they get compliments, and other women think they look good, then they feel better about themselves. If they get a negative comment about their appearance, their mood drops, and their confidence is affected as well. We spent hours philosophizing about this, and the girls decided that it’s important what others think about their appearance. I do not agree about this conclusion. What if one doesn’t get complimented all the time, do they have to hang themself? No! You and only you decide about your own beauty, self-confidence and happiness.

 

Don’t forget that not everyone around us is happy for us. Sometimes people will criticize you on purpose, or say something negative simply to make you feel bad because they are jealous of you. It could also be that others have a completely different sense of what’s beautiful or not. And of course they’re own style might be completely the opposite of yours. So you can see the threat of relying on other people’s opinion about your appearance! I think it’s dangerous to put your happiness, which is your personal power, in other people’s hands. You are your own master, so please don’t let anyone steal your sunshine away from you.

 

I have a friend Lilia and she’s the fashion beauty queen of her clique. When she goes out with her girls, she is always dressed to perfection. Perfect hair, precisely done makeup, exquisitely matched accessories, and always 12cm+ high heels. They always look like those gorgeous girls out of a Vogue photo shooting. But the strange thing is that they walk around like that during the day as well! Of course with lower heels, but still full makeup on. Last month Lilia and I met up for dinner. I asked that she comes casually dressed with very minimal makeup on. (I wanted to show her an important lesson). Of course as I expected she freaked out at first, but then agreed. We met outside the restaurant, and I was so surprised by her amazing natural beauty! As the evening progressed we drank some wine and she became more relaxed. I asked her why did she always make herself up like that? Wasn’t it excruciatingly exhausting to always try to be so perfect? She actually broke down, cried and said that the pressure of society and her friends was unbearable.

 

She was expected to always look the prettiest and most perfect she can be. Actually deep inside of herself she hated it and herself for keeping up with this charade. Lilia also said that otherwise men would pay less attention to her. Funny but as she was saying that, there was a young man at the next table looking intensely at her. As the evening progressed, Lilia came out of her uncomfortable shell, and was enjoying herself very much – just being her natural self! The two men at the table invited us for a drink. Lilia ended up meeting a wonderful guy and enjoyed the best evening she has had in years! He even complimented on how natural her beauty was! If she were made up like her usual Barbie doll self, he wouldn’t have spoken to her. Ever since that evening, Lilia has really gotten back to her natural beautiful self and feels happier and safer inside! I am so happy that she finally understood that happiness comes from within. After a few weeks, she told me that she doesn’t need any more constant confirmation from the outside world about her appearance. She feels happy and stronger inside. She started to slowly love herself as she is. She said that if someone doesn’t like it, they could go to one place where the sun doesn’t shine…

 

Let’s face it, you are the only one that can feel yourself from the inside. No one else in this Universe knows how it feels to be you from within – so you know best about how you look and feel from the inside out. The others can only see you from the outside. So actually their approval is only based on a superficial exterior level, which is not the most important thing in life! There is nothing wrong with getting a makeover, or changing your style, but do it for yourself and not for others! Society is such a bitch, and will not be there for you if you “fall off your heels”, so who cares about what they think? Do what’s best for you and take care that you are happy and healthy. No one can insert happiness into your heart, and only you can make sure that you feel beautiful and wonderful. Ladies and gentlemen, do yourself a favor and don’t be influenced by others. Fuck what everyone thinks – to yourself you will always be beautiful exactly as you are and you know it ♥

 

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Can you live without Love?
Can you live without Love? 1200 400 Galia Brener

You can’t live with her you can’t live without her. Sometimes you even compromise yourself, your beliefs, your morals and values – in order to have this thing in your life. Her name is Love, and she is a ruthless, egoistic maniac, who will show you what living is all about. She will make the blood rush in your peaceful veins, the adrenalin pump through your guts, and she will even cause your heart to hurt, and almost burst out of your body. But despite all of the ups and downs, the pain and sorrows, good and bad moments, we still yearn for this bittersweet Lady Love to come knocking on our door.

 

My friend Heather was telling me about her long lost love. They were together for 8 years. I still do not have a clue how they made it together for so long – that can only be explained due to magic! Those two are complete opposites of each other. He is serious and conservative, and she is a party queen that can disappear for three days in a row, and come back with stories about meeting the devil himself! They are two squares that make a circle together. They both suffered and enjoyed so much in this relationship – so many makeups and breakups. Slamming doors, tears, screaming, arguing, makeup sex, passion, understanding, romance, miscommunication, desire, fights, compliments, insults, blame and support. They couldn’t live without each other. The love was far from perfect, but so intense! Unfortunately the love came to an end when one of them cheated and a child was made. Heather still speaks of him with tears in her eyes. She told me that she will never forgot him until she dies. Sad. How could it be that something so strong and intense simply breaks in half?

 

We live in a society where giving up is easier than ordering a stinky anchovies pizza. We have to fight for our Lady Love because believe me, if we wont, there will be someone else out there who will gladly give her what she needs, and then she’s gone! That’s life. Things get taken for granted. One day it’s an earth-shattering love, and the next day your best friend is moving into a villa together with your ex husband – whom you still love, but don’t admit. Don’t be a fool, open your heart and tell them that you still love them. You never know… you might save that special love, or otherwise regret it your entire life! Heather regrets it until this day that she had the chance to save her love, but her ego wouldn’t allow her to do so.

 

If love is really such a bitch, than why do we come back for more? Because we are human, and humans were not made to be alone. You can ask the biggest player in his sad, weak moment, and even he will tell you that he wants to have a big love. Unfortunately in the last decades, love was made to appear as something cheesy, for the ultra sappy. It’s totally insane, but being a single, successful, good-looking, strong and not-so-emotional woman these days is considered “cooler” than being a women ridiculously in love – who sends sweet messages to her partner, talks about him all the time with big glittery in-love eyes and draws hearts beside him name. Since when did love get such a negative weak reputation?

 

I know a woman who does this to me – behind my back. Every time I speak to my man in a sweet and loving tone, she turns around and pretends to put her fingers in her throat. Then she says, “Oh Galia, get over it, this is so cheesy. Wake up from your annoying pink bubble, because you are making us puke. It’s all fake!” Eventually I have learned to just look at her and laugh. Poor girl. Where is this reaction coming from – Jealousy? Bitterness? Loneliness? Lack of goodness and purity in her heart? Who the hell knows! Love is a bitch to everyone – but if she can’t get up after being shot down by Lady Love (like all of us), then she will definitely fry in her dark pan like a raw chewy octopus for years to come.

 

Love is a bitch. She gets us all. Some are scared of Lady Love, some run after her, but never catch her. Some try to avoid her, and ironically get thrown into her arms. There is no way of avoiding this mysterious Lady. After we have been beaten by Love, we have two choices: 1. We crawl into our shell and not let anyone hurt us ever again – meaning that we never experience love again! 2. Or we crawl out of our shell – after properly licking our wounds, and try to ride Lady Love again. Do you really want to miss out on the excitement of which freaks you shall meet next? The Freakazoid fun is so priceless! I’m kidding. But on a more serious note, it’s definitely worth trying to find your true love again, even if you have been incredibly hurt in the past. Maybe next time you shall get lucky and meet “The One”? I believe that only the ones with faith will get a true taste of Lady Love. It’s like Russian roulette. Love is a bitch, but we all need her in our lives. She is addictive. She is magical, unforgettable… and she’s coming to get you!

 

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On-Off Relationship Horror
On-Off Relationship Horror 1200 400 Galia Brener

It was a rainy Sunday, and I was enjoying a delicious breakfast with my girlfriends at a cute French pastry shop in downtown Frankfurt. The girls were sipping their Cappuccinos, and eating croissants with fruits. I was the only one who had croissants, additionally to my large plate of soft French cheeses, eggs, marmalade, and a pain au chocolat to top it all off. Did I mention that this was my second breakfast?

 

As I was busy scooping the cheese into my mouth, I was listening to Heather’s story about her “Sir Crazy”. They have been together for about three years. Some months were spent happy with plenty of adventures, cuddling and laughter. The months in between were dark and bitter, like my coffee, which needed an urgent dose of sugar. Heather told us that with Sir Crazy, the highs were very high and she felt like a queen beside him. He adored her and wanted to spend every waking moment with her. They had deep, intense, bonding conversations until the morning hours. She said that they had a unique spiritual bond. She felt that he was her soulmate.

 

However, the lows were excruciatingly low! He would suddenly change towards her. Almost as if becoming a completely different person. During these phases, he was cold, distant and careless towards Heather, and this caused her tremendous grief. It felt like he was tearing her heart out of her body, cutting it in half with rusty scissors, throwing both pieces on the dirty floor and stepping on them until they turn into a bloody paste. In other words, he was killing her inside. She could not understand how can someone that is so close to her, suddenly become a stranger? He would go for days not calling her. Ignoring her existence. Then suddenly contact her, apologizing with tears in his eyes, saying how stupid and sorry he was. So of course, she would run back to him, wanting the highs again. This happened again and again. There was no stability. No reassurance. No security. No peace in this love. It was a never-ending dream. But more precisely, it was a never-ending nightmare.

 

I was listening to Heather, trying to chew and swallow my Brie without chocking on it. Why go back to someone that hurts you so much – over and over again! Why engage in such torturous emotional sadomasochism? Heather said that their sex life was the best she ever had. She never experienced such Earth-shattering orgasms before. He was like a drug to her. Sir Crazy knew how to blind her with his fake good behavior, which kept her inside this sick game. He was an emotional vampire. He sucked out her energy, goodness, strength and light. Leaving her weak and drained every time he was finished with her.

 

There is a well-known Russian proverb, “In a quarrel, leave room for reconciliation.” I am always a believer in fighting for a relationship. However, with On-Off relationships, I believe in the “1-Chance-Dance” rule. Maybe 2 chances if he’s some special Prince Charming or an alien, but usually the “1-Chance-Dance” is enough. In movies and books, on-off relationships are seen as something romantic, but in real life, they cause extreme pain and suffering.

 

Why do we still hold on? Why do we try 3, 5 or 10 times again? Do we secretly enjoy the pain? After all, pain is a much stronger and deeper emotion than happiness. Did we get used to them, and do not want to be single again? Do we fear that we wont find anyone better? Or do we stay because we simply love them so much? (Ask yourself: How can you love someone so much that causes you such pain again and again?) Most likely things do not get better.

 

After the initial breakup, my advice is: 1. Figure out for yourself if you miss your partner, or are you happier without them? 2. If you are happier without them, then Hallelujah for you! Go out and flirt your sexy bum off. You deserve some fun after the torture! However, if you miss her/him like crazy, then you must try giving it the “1-Chance-Dance!” and get back together. 3. Once you get back together, chose a night where you are both relaxed, drink a delicious bottle of wine, and talk about everything! What bothered you, what would you like to change in the future. Be open to communication! 4. You must also step over your ego and accept criticism where you were wrong. Both must try to work on themselves in the future to make the relationship better. This is the hardest part! 5. If you succeed, then congratulations! This process can only be achieved if the love is real on both sides! If the same problems start again, then one or both did not make sufficient effort to improve the relationship – and most likely, you/they never will. In this case, run as far away as you can, and don’t look back.

 

The only way to escape such a relationship is to stay away from this torturous person. Zero contact is the only way. The best solution is to occupy yourself and meet with friends and family. What works well is to go out on dates and meet new people. This will give you a super confidence boost and keep your mind off the devil. Believe me, as time goes by, the feeling and pain will start to fade away, and you wont be coming back to get hurt anymore. So love yourself and be strong. Remember, it’s better to be single than to be together with the wrong person who causes you so much pain and suffering!

 

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Romance never dies! ♥
Romance never dies! ♥ 1280 960 Galia Brener

Thank you for the flowers… you know who you are ;-) ♥

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My near-death experience. Live NOW!
My near-death experience. Live NOW! 768 768 Galia Brener
Dear friends and readers, I hope you had a wonderful start into 2015! I wish you only the very best – including lots of good health, happiness, success, joy, laughter and love. May all your most desired dreams and wishes come true for you this year!Since I am always writing about my honest opinion and giving advice on how to live, I thought that I should share a piece of myself with you as well. The last week of December last year, something horrific happened to me that changed my life forever. I hope that you can learn from this as well, because I would not wish for anyone to go through this lesson themselves.As some of you might know from my Facebook posts, I was on a winter holiday in Switzerland. We drove there by car and on the way we got into a terrible car accident. In the early morning of December 29th 2014, the highways in Germany still had a lot of snow on it, and none of it was cleared away! (Where does the tax money go?) We were driving on the far left lane, and lost control of the car. We ended up spinning in circles all the way from the left to the farthest right lane on the autobahn, and crashed into the gas tank of a large truck that was driving on the right lane. It was a miracle because at that very same second, there were no cars driving directly behind us. Had there been cars from behind, I would not be here writing this to you now. Everything was damaged around us, especially the large truck. The most incredible thing is that nothing happened to us. Nothing at all. It was as if our angels lifted us, and only the metal was damaged. We quickly jumped out of the car and had no bloody idea what just happened. We were in shock.

You know how people tell you that when you are near death, your life flashes in front of your eyes? It doesn’t. What transpired is that the 3 spins seemed to happen extremely slowly. The accident was probably only some seconds long, but it felt like we were spinning for 15 minutes in agonizing slow motion. What I will never forget is the image of the huge truck, and us slowly approaching it, about to crash head into it. At that second you have absolutely zero control and can’t do anything about it. There is no way to stop and escape. You either get lucky or not. 50/50 chance. The spooky thing is that at this very moment all you feel and think is:

Nothing. The mind shuts off.

I was not scared. I didn’t cry or scream. I didn’t see my life flashing by. I simply felt nothing. There was only silence and a slow motion in time. What a creepy strange phenomenon. It felt like being in a real Sci-Fi movie – like in the Matrix when Keanu Reeves dodges the bullets and everything happens extremely slowly. We dodged death.

Of course being the wild and strong women that we are, we decided – completely in shock – that we would continue our holiday no matter what! This makes me laugh now that I think about it. Normal people would have gone back home with a tow truck to lick their psychological wounds. Not us, we decided to celebrate life and our warrior spirit. We towed our car to the next city, rented a new car, and drove away. This ended up being the best trip of our lives. Those who saw my photos on Facebook know that we did our best to celebrate life. We ate only the best food, drank the best Champagne, danced, laughed, enjoyed and were grateful for every bloody damn second to be alive! Forget saving the money, you can’t take it into the grave with you.

What’s the point of this article? I want to tell you my dearest friends that life can be taken away from you in a millisecond. Just gone. Bam! And you’re not here anymore. Do you understand how fast this can all go away? We have to appreciate every second we have here. Forget and ignore the small crap in life. It doesn’t matter at all! What matters is YOU, HERE and NOW! Health and happiness. Everything else can be earned, created, found and built. Please enjoy your life and don’t let anything bring you down. Don’t let anyone steal your sunshine and goodness. Be happy and grateful that you have this life, and that you are privileged to live and enjoy it. The small things that once annoyed me will never be crucial anymore. Nothing will ever put me down or in a bad mood because I know how fast life can be taken away.

You are here because you are lucky and are chosen to be here. So enjoy every single second with your friends and family, and be happy! Never ever forget this. I now know my mission in life is to write my column and help as many people as I can. I’m so happy to give you this message, and make you aware how precious life really is. Enjoy and be happy dear friends.

Love, your Gali :-)

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9. Januar 2015
Galia Brener

 

Destroy the shit before 2015 – Part 1
Destroy the shit before 2015 – Part 1 1354 437 Galia Brener

 

It’s that time again when the year is winding down and we are confronted with our demons. Some call this the “Holiday Blues”, thinking they might be depressed, sad or lonely, but it’s much deeper and more important than just that. It’s a crucial time that will determine how you step into the next year and which direction your life will go. This is a tough love article, so I might seem somewhat harsh, but it’s for our own good.

Like it or not, a new year is a “reset”. Even if you don’t believe in this, your brain is subconsciously influenced by the thought of a “new start”. If you are honest with yourself, there are some things that you can change and improve about your life. In order to do so, you must first destroy the existing defective base before you build a new structure. No one builds a new luxury building on a rotten old foundation. Never! First everything is destroyed, cleaned out, and then rebuilt.

This week I deal with the points of elimination and destruction of the bad things in your life that drain your happiness. (Next week I will address how to rebuilt a new foundation).

1. Get rid of the toxic people in your life. Cut off anyone that hurts and drains you. They won’t help you grow and will only deplete your goodness with their needy problems and dramas. Be tough even if it seems merciless. You are not their emotional garbage bin so don’t let them dump their shit in your life. Enough!

2. Forgive. This is a tough point, especially if someone has hurt you badly. Regardless if the were friends, exes or colleagues, forgive all these idiots that hurt you. You are doing this for yourself and not for them! You don’t have to speak to them or see them again – but forgiveness allows you to burn away “your” pain and anger, which is blocking you from the good new things.

3. Say NO. We do too many things to be “good” for others, and sometimes even do what we don’t want to. Stop it immediately and don’t hesitate to say NO! Stop going against yourself. By the way, the others will respect you actually more for standing your ground.

4. Nothing is personal. Remember; when people do or say something mean to you, it’s their issue and not yours! Destroy the ability to let others make you feel bad and guilty for no justifiable reason. Don’t take shit from no one, especially when they are trying to deliberately offend or hurt you.

5. Learn to be selfish. We give and give and give so much, but forget ourselves in the process. The love you gave your ex or so-called friend, give that to yourself now. Love yourself truly, because you deserve it. It’s your life so do what’s good for you.

6. Let go. How willing you are to let go of stinky old garbage depends on how much you truly love yourself. Not letting go brings emotional, physical and mental pain and illness. If you really want to be happy and healthy, then you have no choice but to let go of the past and make place for the good things and people in your life.

7. Destroy all bad habits. Easier said than done? No. If you truly want to be healthy and not die, then you can do it. It’s all about willpower, making that “1 decision” and sticking to it! Stop smoking. Stop taking drugs. Stop drinking alcohol excessively (only in moderation). Stop eating damaging food. If you can’t do it alone, then get external help and stop hurting yourself.

8. Throw away all the junk you don’t need. Like the bad people that collect dust in your life, so do the things that you don’t need. I hate going into homes that are cluttered with “stuff” because I can’t breathe there. Your home reflects your inner self, so why block yourself with useless things? Take a big garbage bag on the weekend, go from room to room, throw away the small crap and destroy the clutter. Keep it simple. Give the clothing and things you don’t need to charity.

Like my Papa always tells me, “Make a solid firm decision and stick to it. Going back and forth will only bring more pain and insecurity.” Some of these 8 points may sound tough, but are necessary in order to move into a better life and a happier new year. We must never stop to work on ourselves and develop for the better. We have this one life, so why deprive ourselves of complete happiness?

Next week comes part 2 about rebuilding the good after the destruction of the bad.

To be continued …

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