happy

Do you think you’re beautiful?
Do you think you’re beautiful? 1354 437 Galia Brener

Last week I met my girls for a drink and we got into a heated discussion about appearances. 3 out of the 4 said that it matters what others think of their appearance, especially other women. If they get compliments, and other women think they look good, then they feel better about themselves. If they get a negative comment about their appearance, their mood drops, and their confidence is affected as well. We spent hours philosophizing about this, and the girls decided that it’s important what others think about their appearance. I do not agree about this conclusion. What if one doesn’t get complimented all the time, do they have to hang themself? No! You and only you decide about your own beauty, self-confidence and happiness.

Don’t forget than not everyone around us is automatically happy for us. Sometimes it will happen that people will criticize you on purpose, or say something negative simply to make you feel bad because they are jealous of you. It could also be that others have a completely different sense of what’s beautiful or not. And of course they’re own style might be completely the opposite of yours. So you can see the threat of relying on other people’s opinion about your appearance! I think it’s dangerous to put your happiness, which is your personal power, in other people’s hands. You are your own master, so please don’t let anyone steal your sunshine away from you.

I have a friend Lilia, and she’s the fashion beauty queen of her clique. When she goes out with her girls, she is always dressed to perfection. Perfect hair, precisely done makeup, exquisitely matched accessories, and always 12cm+ high heels. They always look like those gorgeous girls out of a Vogue photo shooting. But the strange thing is that they walk around like that during the day as well! Of course with lower heels, but still full makeup on. Last month Lilia and I met up for dinner. I asked that she comes casually dressed with very minimal makeup on. (I wanted to show her an important lesson). Of course as I expected she freaked out at first, but then agreed. We met outside the restaurant, and I was so surprised by her amazing natural beauty! As the evening progressed we drank some wine and she became more relaxed. I asked her why did she always make herself up like that? Wasn’t it excruciatingly exhausting to always try to be so perfect? She actually broke down and cried, and said that the pressure of society and her friends was unbearable.

She was expected to always look the prettiest and most perfect she can be. Actually deep inside of herself she hated it, and herself for keeping up with this charade. Lilia also said that otherwise men would pay less attention to her. Funny but as she was saying that, there was a young man at the next table looking intensely at her. As the evening progressed, Lilia came out of her uncomfortable shell, and was enjoying herself very much – just being her natural self! The two men at the table invited us for a drink. Lilia ended up meeting a wonderful guy, and enjoyed the best evening she has had in years! He even complimented on how natural her beauty was! If she were made up like her usual Barbie doll self, he would have not spoken to her. Ever since that evening, Lilia has really gotten back to her natural beautiful self, and feels happier and safer inside! I am so happy that she finally understood that happiness comes from within.

Let’s face it, you are the only one that can feel yourself from the inside. No one else in this Universe knows how it feels to be you from within – so you know best about how you look and feel from the inside out. The others can only see you from the outside. So actually their approval is only based on a superficial exterior level, which is actually not the most important thing. There is nothing wrong with getting a makeover, or changing your style, but do it for yourself and not for others! Society is such a bitch, and will not be there for you if you “fall off your heels”, so who cares about what they think? Do what’s best for you, and take care that you are happy and healthy. No one can insert happiness into your heart, and only you can make sure that you feel beautiful and wonderful. Girls do yourself a favor and don’t be influenced by anyone. Not a man, not your friends and no one else. Fuck what everyone thinks – to yourself you will always be beautiful exactly as you are, and you know it ♥

The best YOU.
The best YOU. 1354 437 Galia Brener

Have you ever noticed that different people bring out a different side of you? With one man you might act and feel like a sexy goddess, while with the other you’re the funniest comedian the world has ever seen. With the third one you might be the annoying nagging mother figure, and with the next man, you might be the silly little girl. It’s interesting how dating different people actually helps you to learn more about yourself, especially about what you want, and definitely don’t want. The most important thing after dating various people is to stay with the one that brings out the best in you!

Last week I was talking to my dear friend Ambrosia, who went through a very painful breakup half a year ago. Even though her ex was not the best guy for her, she was madly in love with him, and let him get away with bad behavior. He is what I call a “Male Drama Queen.” His actions and reactions to certain situations were insane, and of course this in return instigated crazy responses from her as well. Consider it an emotional chain reaction. Ambrosia was a victim to his bad moods and aggression, and this brought out the same in her, even though she is not the angry depressed type at all! Her ex was an energy vampire that sucked the positivity out of her whenever he had a bad day – which was quite often. He brought out the angry bitchy part of her, which she didn’t even know existed until they met!

Three month ago Ambrosia met a new man. With him, she was the cheeky comedian and the fun, unique girl. Gone was the angry bitchy woman from last year, and instead an easy going, adventurous and hilarious Ambrosia took her place. Her new boyfriend was giving her the attention and love that she so desperately lacked and needed from her ex. The new guy saw her as an equal, and not as a stupid little girl that had to be education. He cherished her, and made her feel like the only woman in the world for him. He praised her, gave her sweet compliments, kissed and touched her a lot, bought her flowers and simply adored her. Like she did him. He gave her a warm, light and happy feeling. She could be herself around him, and never felt like she was being judged. She enjoyed the Ambrosia that he brought out in her. The bold, funny, charming, beautiful and sophisticated Ambrosia was actually the characteristics she loved the most about herself.

Like with Ambrosia’s situation, the power is in your hands. You decide your own future, and what’s good for you. Make the right decision and chose your partner well. There is always a way of seeing quite quickly if this person brings out the best in you, or not. Try to look at these things:

1. Are you funny when you are with him? Does he bring out the best in your sense of humor?

2. Is she the kind of woman that gets offended or insulted easily? Which in return makes you feel the need to always explain/defend yourself, which eventually leads to being moody, irritated or annoyed? This is not good, because it sucks too much energy from you.

3. Does he make you feel sexy and wanted? Or does he not pay enough attention to you – which makes you feel insecure, needing to overdo on making yourself appear beautiful, and trying to get his attention?

4. If you fight does she bring you to the point where you get aggressive and loud, but usually you’re not like that at all? Do you have to defend yourself against her unnecessary accusations, which in return make you angry and miserable? Or does he bring out that mean bitch inside of you, which makes you bitter and sad afterwards? That’s all very bad for the emotions, and quite draining.

5. Do you feel like you’re his Mama, and you have to nag and run after him? Or are you both on the same level? Or does he often lecture you about how you should change, and do things to grow up, almost like your dad, and not your friend?

6. Are you cuddly and sweet to him, or colder and calculating – but usually are the complete opposite?

7. Do you pretend to be someone else around him/her, and are usually different with your friends? Do you try to impress them too much, buy appearing cool and mysterious, instead of being the warm, sweet and normal you?

8. Does she bring out the fun child in you – when you can be yourself, and have a good time together? Or does she judge your silliness?

I advise to see how your partner makes you feel, and be honest with yourself if s/he brings out your best side or not. I remember having a boyfriend once that tried to change me and my entire wardrobe, by telling me what to wear and what to get rid of. The day he bought me a brown grandmother-style sweater was the day I knew it would never work. Different people have different effects on us, and it’s crucial to choose a mate that inspires the peaceful, loving and caring side in us. Stay away from people who bring out your bitterness, cruelty or aggression – because this usually ends up with pain and illness. From my personal experience, I can say that the best is to gravitate to a partner who brings out the tranquil side of you – with whom you can enjoy spending time together, and not continuously have dramas and negativity around you. Life is short, so why be together with someone that brings out the evil twin in you? Choose well, it’s your future after all.

12 things happy single girls do
12 things happy single girls do 1354 437 Galia Brener

I will be direct and not spare any feelings in this article. Life is short and you should live, enjoy and be happy while you can (single or not). Last night sitting on my couch, I realized that absolutely everything in life is pretty much temporary – either longer or shorter periods of time, but never forever. That’s why it’s time for us to wake the hell up and start living a happy live NOW.

1. Sports. Happy girls are balanced girls. I do yoga because it gives me peace at heart, and keeps me sane, especially when I have stressful and difficult situations to deal with. I enter the yoga school with thoughts about everything, and exit with an empty mind. It’s worth gold to just breathe and not think about your crap for a while. Sports help us stay healthy, beautiful, and allow our brain to rest from the constant mind fuck that we put it through.

2. Take care of themselves. Single does not mean dead. Happy single girls continue to shave their sweet parts, and take the best care of their hair, nails and skin. They take vitamins to boost their immune system, never miss a teeth cleaning at the dentist, and make sure they go to the gynecologist to get everything checked up. Happy single girls love and make themselves their own top priority. To be brutally honest, and what I’ve heard from people’s situations, is that nobody needs a sick partner.

3. Spend time with friends and family. Life is not only about romantic love, and having a partner. Single happy girls are grateful for every opportunity to spend time with the ones dear to them. They appreciate the true gifts in life – of having a best friend, and family that love them like no one else does. Remember my words: everything is temporary – and parents will not be here forever. Spend as much time with them as you can… before it’s too late.

4. Shopping. No boyfriend? No problem! Being single leaves you with more money to spend on yourself. Spoiling yourself is a privilege that you should get used to. However, also saving a bit every month is very important because it gives you financial freedom, which is a bloody amazing feeling!

5. Spend time alone. Spending time alone is very peaceful for me. I sometimes lock myself in for the entire weekend, and watch DVDs, write my articles, pig out on Russian pilmeni, sort out my closet, do some facial masks, sleep, rest, read, draw, and the list goes on. A single happy girl must be able to spend time on her own. Life is not over if you have no boyfriend, quite the opposite actually, it gives you time to relax and do the stuff you love – whenever and how long you want to.

6. Let go. Single happy girls let go of expectations and pressure to meet a guy. They know and have faith that the right man will come when the time is right, and not stress themselves and their friends about it. Single happy girls are confident, know their own worth, and are never desperate. They don’t take any shit from a man, and would rather be single than together with a schmuck.

7. Live in the present. Happy girls are not stuck in the past with thoughts of how amazing the time with their ex-boyfriend was, while shedding painful tears. They also don’t dwell too much in the future thinking how happy they will be when they finally find their true love. Happy girls live in the present, because they know that life can pass by in a blink of an eye. Living in the past in a crazy illusion – it’s not real, and a ridiculous waste of time.

8. Get enough sleep. A well-rested girl is a happy girl. Never underestimate the power of sleep! The body regenerates itself during sleep, which means better skin, rested calm nerves, no dark circles under the eyes and more energy. This all contributes to a daily happy-feeling. The great thing about being single is having the bed all to yourself. Plus there is nobody snoring beside you, keeping you awake and irritated all night.

9. Optimism. Happy single girls stay optimistic. No matter what hardship they have been through in life, they keep their strength and don’t let anything break them or kill their spirit. Nobody on this planet is worth your damaged nerves and health. The happy girl will see all bad occurrences as an opportunity to better herself, learn a life lesson and grow. Winners are able to create their own happiness – it’s your own choice!

10. Commit to goals. Happy single girls don’t have time to complain about how lonely they are, because they actually have goals to achieve in their life. Instead of wallowing in miserable self-pity, happy women get off their ass and achieve something! They complain less, and accomplish more.

11. Surround themselves with happy people. Happiness attracts happiness. Likewise negativity attracts misery. Get rid of all the energy vampires in your life. You know those people that always have dramas and complain about everything? They are toxic. No matter how much you try to motivate and help them, they never learn. Happy single girls stay away from these people, and have friends that are positive, successful and well-balanced.

12. Happy single girls know how to masturbate well! They have perfect knowledge how to pleasure themselves and are not afraid to explore their own body. They know exactly where to touch themselves, how to do it, and what they need to reach an Earth-shattering orgasm. Happy girls have a great collection of vibrators, and are not afraid to use them!

So it’s really up to you… do you want to be happy or not?

Keep your woman happy!
Keep your woman happy! 1354 437 Galia Brener

Dear gentlemen, this article is for you. All women want a man that will make an effort to romance them – long after the butterfly phase is over. Getting the women might seem to you like the biggest task in the dating game, however that is only a tiny part of the battle won. The real challenge is not getting the woman, but actually keeping her! I’m sure you are sitting with your eyebrow raised and a smirk on your face now, but don’t worry, it’s not as hard as you think – you don’t need to be Hercules or a millionaire to succeed at this. Yes I know that women also have to do nice stuff for you, but this article is just about us, and what you can do to keep us happy and satisfied by your side.

Let’s compare this to your car that you love so damn much. Imagine you get your dream car – it’s so fast, shiny and new! Every time you see it, a wave of happiness rushes through your body, and you can’t get your eyes off your new baby! Driving your new car is one of the best feelings in world, and flying in it on the highway gives you such an incredible high. A year goes by, and you notice a few dents here and there. The new car smell has long evaporated, the leather interior is not so pristine anymore, and the rims have scratches on them. Your car is slowly getting older, but it’s still your baby, and you will take care of it, right? With every 10,000 km you lovingly pat her on the steering wheel, and thank her for being so good to you. Even if she gets very old, and is now considered an old-timer, you wont just leave her to rust. Much like beautiful cars, women need care and attention as well. If you don’t invest time and effort into taking care of the things you love, you will lose them. When they’re gone you will realize what you had, unfortunately a little too late, and end up with: a lost love and a broken car.

1. Respect and appreciation: Tell her that you’re proud that she is your girl! When she tells you something that’s important to her, be a good listener, and make an effort to understand her. In return, share things about yourself, like your hopes and dreams. Ask for her advice in various situations, so she sees that you respect her and her opinion. Take responsibility for the words that come out of your mouth, and be more tolerant and calm. Once in a while, it’s ok to back down in arguments. Praise her for the good things she does, her talents and skills. Allow her to be herself, and appreciate her uniqueness and special qualities. Never forget to be a gentleman and open the door for her, walk on the outside of the sidewalk, help her with her coat and seat. Be the strong man that is there to protect her no matter what happens, and the one she can rely and lean on. Assure her that you have plans for your future together, and that you are not simply having your fun and using her. Show that you are not afraid of commitment and responsibility, and are financially secure to take care of your future family.

2. Attention: Enjoy spending time with her, and make her a priority. Let her feel that she is important for you, and that she comes first, and not last on your list. It’s ok to make her feel like a princess with your love and attention. Say that you love her more often, and don’t forget the compliments! Just a simple, “You are so beautiful” works very well. Give her emotional security, and be her best friend. Show her attention by writing a text message during the day that you’re thinking of her. Try to sometimes include her with your guy friends when going out, and say something nice about her in front of your friends. This shows that you are proud to have her by your side.

3. Make love, not war: Take the time out of your busy schedule to make love, and also have wild passionate sex. Women need physical reassurance as well, which shows that you are still attracted to her! Don’t forget that foreplay is very important for women to make them hot and ready. Always have time for cuddling and kissing. In general, try to kiss her more often! Come up and slowly kiss the back of her neck while hugging her from behind. It’s always good to plant some unexpected kisses when walking by her. Be romantic, and give her a nice full body massage. Sex is very important to keep the fire going in your relationship, so get creative!

4. Empathy and compassion: Be there for her when she needs it the most, especially during the difficult times. Show that you care about her sorrows, and help her in hard and stressful situations. It’s also important to be helpful and sympathetic if she’s sick – even if you think her illness is not severe, be there for her anyways. Make (or buy) her chicken soup and serve it to her in bed with a funny smile. In general, try to be as patient as you can with her, and don’t hesitate to apologize if you do something wrong. Show your sincerity, kindness, and make her laugh.

5. Gifts and surprises: Get into the habit of bringing her flowers for no special reason. Put her favorite chocolate bar in her bag, and hide a cute teddy bear under her blanket. Invite her on spontaneous unplanned romantic weekend trips. Even if you don’t like a movie, or foreign city/vacation place that she does, take her there because she’s your woman, and you want to please her. Invite her somewhere new for a romantic dinner, and be creative with your choices. Gifts are not only for birthdays and Christmas, so listen when she tells you about things she wants, and surprise her from time to time by getting her something special. It must not be expensive, but it has to come from the heart!

I know I have listed a lot of things to do, but take your time and do it because you want to, and not because you have to. Actions and deeds speak louder than words. Always remember to never take your woman for granted. If you are not good to her, she will eventually leave, and another man will be very willing to make her happy! Relationships are not always easy, and love can be a real bitch, but if you figure out the formula to make her happy, believe me, she will give you even more in return. Making your woman feel special is not so difficult, and a bit more effort on your part will get you ahead (and even head ;-) and keep your woman feeling very happy!

Get him with a smile!
Get him with a smile! 1354 437 Galia Brener

It’s a proven fact that people want to be happy, and therefore they gravitate towards other happy people. I hear many women complaining that when they go out, they hardly ever meet anyone – and this coming from attractive and successful women! Why is that? What are they doing wrong? Well ladies, it’s not just about looking fabulous and wearing your best dress and shoes when going out. The best accessory you must always wear – is actually the one you were born with, and is part of your natural beauty – your smile! Body language is more important than you may think it is. You can have the most luxurious outfit on, long beautiful flowing hair and the nicest make – but without a genuine smile and happiness in your eyes, forget about meeting potential partners. Sour and bitter are the flavors of the past. Welcome 2014, the sweet year of happiness, love and beautiful smiles!

During the holidays, my friend Jilli went out with the girls and they decided to make an experiment. They started the evening off at their favorite bar in Frankfurt, The Parlour. Jilli was chosen as the “Smiling-Happy-Goddess”, Gloria as the “Too-Cool-For-You-Bitch” and Claudia as the “Sad-Little-Cookie-Help-Me-Girl”. The experiment was to see which attitude-style would have a better chance to meet someone. All three of them looked drop-dead gorgeous this evening. They sat at the bar exactly in the middle of the room, to see and be seen. The bartender made them delicious signature Parlour drinks, and so the experiment began! Shortly later, two tall handsome men arrived and sat beside them. The dark-haired one looked at Jilli a few times, and she returned his glance with a smile. She kept talking to the girls, telling them a story with a lot of action, laughing out loud, with her hands swinging everywhere. She glanced back at the guy and flashed him another warm smile, and his attention was immediately on her. The man introduced himself to Jilli, and they had a very nice conversation. He also gave her a compliment on her beautiful bright smile. It worked! Since this was a serious experiment for the sake of dating research, the girls stayed strictly in their roles. The second guy attempted to talk to Gloria, but after a few minutes, the conversation went nowhere. She did not smile at all, and had to stay cold and expressionless in her role. Meanwhile, Claudia continued looking sad and distant, and no man approached her.

The ladies were having a really fun evening, and decided to take their experiment to a party. Jilli dragged the ladies onto the dance floor, and the test continued. Claudia spotted a group of guys and made eye contact. However it was not kindly returned, because her sad eyes did the opposite and repelled the men away. Next came Gloria with her killer-cool-bored-look, but also with nothing in return. Then Jilli beamed her gorgeous open smile, and within minutes the gentlemen were dancing closer to them. After a few more songs, more eye-catching looks and warm smiles, the birthday boy came over, and offered Jilli a drink. Obviously the experiment worked, so the girls gave up their rolls and decided to join in on the fun. Almost immediately one of the guys in the group told Claudia that she looks much better with a smile upon her face! Again a proven fact – happiness attracts people. All three girls had a really wonderful evening and came home wearing three very beautiful, and happy smiles. One of them really likes the guy she met that night, and has been in touch with him ever since!

Many women are negatively influenced by the media, fashion and beauty industry. However, the facial expressions they see and unconsciously copy from the magazines and TV are definitely not open, warm or sincere. They copy the mimic of runway models or action hero actresses, and they end up looking cold, expressionless, bored and simply “Too cool for you”. Many glossy magazines advise women to walk around with a cool aloof facial expression, and not appear to care too much. They call this the “hard to get” appearance, which should attract men. Unfortunately exactly the opposite happens, and this does not attract men at all. As a matter of fact, it scares most men off! I asked a few of my male friends, and they all said they would never approach a woman that looks arrogant, bored, cold or distant.

Another important fact is what seems like “obvious” flirting for us women, is really not enough for men to get the point that we are interested. If you go up to a man and ask for the time, or a lighter and quickly walk away after, he will not get it. Men do not understand those subtle signs of attention. You need to be a bit more direct by making obvious eye contact, and flash him that seductive irresistible smile of yours. If you do that a few times, while keeping your eyes locked with his longer and longer each time, then he will get the point. I know it’s 2014, but I am still old-fashioned, and believe in men approaching the women. You are a Lady, so let him come to you first. In order for him to feel confident in doing this, give him the direct signs that you are interested in him. Please do not overdo it with the smiling, so he doesn’t think that you have a nervous tic. Avoid looking bitchy, mean, aggravated, cold, arrogant and bored. Please no runway-killer-too-cool-for-you look either. Be open and approachable, calm and happy, but definitely not too easy or desperate looking. Try to find the successful balance of easy-going and being open for new contacts. After all, men are hunters, so let them do the hunting and feel proud for finding such a wonderful catch, such a fabulous, amazing woman – you! Good luck, have fun, and don’t forget to smile!

Ho Ho Oh so SINGLE, and HAPPY for the holidays!
Ho Ho Oh so SINGLE, and HAPPY for the holidays! 1354 437 Galia Brener

The lights are hung in the city, and the festive holiday mood is spreading around like hungry mosquitos. Friends call to meet you at the Christmas market, which is already in full swing at the Römerberg in the middle of Frankfurt. When you arrive, you see the beautiful 28-meter tall Christmas tree decorated with magnificent bright lights, glittering in the evening sky. After a few minutes, you notice the many couples walking around you, holding hands, giving each other loving kisses, laughing, hugging – and all of a sudden, those tree lights turn into harsh blinking-blue reminders – making a mockery of your single holiday blues. The tree is not your friend anymore, and you escape to the next stall, in order to drown your sad thoughts with a few Glühweins.

Must the holidays be a constant reminder of how single you are? Does hearing ‘jingle bells’ every time you enter a store make you feel even lonelier? Let me shock you here for a minute… it doesn’t have to be that way! To be quite honest, being single during the holidays actually opens up a huge amount of possibilities to you. You are your own captain! You can accept or decline whichever holiday party invitations you wish, you can do whatever the hell you want to with your spare time, you can pamper yourself in a spa, you don’t need to buy your partner or their family any presents – think of all that extra cash you can now spend on yourself! Buy that sexy dress you saw in the store window, be the goddess that you are! You have more time to spend with your friends, or those you haven’t seen in ages, hang around more with your family, have extra time for your fun hobbies, take an exotic vacation during the holidays… basically, you have the freedom to do what you want, when you want to, and how you want to! That doesn’t sound so bad, does it? Actually, it sounds quite fabulous!

Dave, a friend of mine, was telling me that last year he organized the most amazing Christmas party for his big love, Julie, and her family. He showered her with beautiful gifts, and made sure that everyone felt welcomed and comfortable in their home during the holidays. Instead of showing a tiny bit of gratitude, Julie was complaining that everything is going wrong, how he is not good or respectful enough to her family, that she is under too much stress due to trying to be perfect and accepted by his family. The holiday season was a devastating disaster for both of them, even though Dave tried his very best. (The single people reading this are now thinking…oh, thank God I do not have to deal with this crap!) Am I right? The way that I see it is that there are both positive and negative aspects for being single or attached during the holidays. Being in a relationship can be wonderful, but there are also times of stress, fights, emotional overflows, attempts at pleasing each other and the families, and more chaos. Do not concentrate and fixate on the thought of how amazing it would be to have a partner now. This will only cause more emotional pain, which is not really needed right now – frowning causes wrinkles, and is not a good accessory to your New Year’s Eve outfit! So what, you’re single? Believe me, you’re not the only one out there. It’s not the end of the world, (Actually it might be, but we shall see in 2 weeks ;-) it’s just another year that some more holidays go by. So you see dear single boys and girls, being solo during the holidays is not so bad… instead of being sad, go and enjoy yourself, flirt, bake, dance, sing, work out, continue that stamp collection from childhood, learn Mandarin… there is so much to do!

The flirt-factor in December is quite high! The snowflakes are falling, and people want to have fun at the Christmas parties. So instead of wasting time and feeing down and depressed about being solo, take your fabulous self to a salon. Get a stunning new hairstyle, buy a seductive new outfit, and make plans with your dear friends for the next few weeks, including New Year’s Eve. You are fantastic and have no time for pitying yourself! You are a warrior of love, and deep down you know that the “right” person will come when the time is right! So why wait? Go out there, have fun and enjoy your life… good things shall come!

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