According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word single is defined as: “Not having or including another: only one.” What the hell is this nonsense? It sounds so lonely and awful! Please do not listen to Mr. Merriam or Webster, who wrote this depressive crap in the early 19th century, when being single after the age of 20 was considered a mortal sin! Being single does not mean that you are the only one, lonely or that you do not have anyone else. Quite the opposite! Being single means that you are clever enough not to jump onto the next best thing, just for the sake of “having a partner” or having a heart in your Facebook relationship status. I like to say, “It’s better to be single than in a bad relationship.”
There are advantages to being single, such as more time for getting your things done. We tend to get sad and think of how much we want love when we are single. But instead of being sad, take that same energy and invest it into your career. You have a chance to increase your motivation, to focus and concentrate on your work, and not get sidetracked. You should use this spare time to apply yourself as much as you can to achieve success. Don’t forget that when you meet a new love, the concentration is gone for the first half a year, and your career might suffer from it. So take the time now and make yourself successful.
Grab your best friend, and finally go on that Asia trip that you have been dreaming of for so long! Don’t sit on your couch fantasizing about having a man beside you, instead get off your bum, book a flight, pack your nice outfits and enjoy life! Make your single time special and truly unforgettable. When the man and children come, there will not be much time to leisurely fly around the world with your girls. You will have responsibilities to take care of, and jet-setting will not be your first priority, so why not do it now? Travelling enriches the soul, and broadens your horizon. Your adventures will shape and make you the person that you are meant to be. Besides, you never know what happens on such journeys, and whom you meet. You might be pleasantly surprised.
My friend Jilli is a good example for this. She was hurt in the past, and it was the last drop in her tortured love life, so she swore off men and simply didn’t care anymore. Instead, she founded her own company, worked her bum off, became successful, traveled the world with her friends, took care of her health and body, spend precious time with her parents, cooked delicious meals for herself, and simply enjoyed life. She was not going to put her happiness in the hands of a stranger anymore. She wanted to create her own happy world, and so she did! One warm summer evening we all went to the King Kamehameha boat party. Jilli was silly that evening, and the first thing she said was, “To hell with love!” I remember laughing because she had a Prosecco in one hand, and the other hand waving at the air pretending to send love away. The music was fantastic, the cocktails were delicious and the air was warm with sensual tension. This evening Jilli unexpectedly met the love of her life, Leo. Their love is still strong, and even today; Kingka is a magical love-charm for them. Jilli told me that last night she and Leo went to the Kingka Family Reunion party, and they had such a wonderful time! It brought them happy memories of when they first met. Kingka has and always will have a special place in their hearts.
But you see, love works quite differently than we want it to. As soon as Jilli didn’t stress and get desperate about it, love came flying straight towards her. She was occupied with life, instead of sitting sad at home. People smell a state of desperation, and it repels them away. Jilli chose life, and in the process got love. Being single is not a curse or bloody disease. So enjoy it.
Harassing yourself with thoughts of “Where is he already?” will not get you anywhere. On the contrary, it will make you more miserable and desperate. Desperation is a bitch because she will force you to take anyone, just to feel close and warm to “someone”. When Lady Desperation comes knocking on your door, send her back to hell where she belongs. You are fabulous and deserve the best, so please don’t settle for less because you can’t stand being single anymore. We have all been there. The best thing is to start occupying yourself with important things as soon as possible. Going out, partying and drinking with your friends might be an entertaining way too pass time, but it will not leave you satisfied. It’s better to include some serious goal making and achieving time during your single phase. Then you can look back and see that you have accomplished something during this time. Don’t sit and wait for a partner to come into your life to complete and make you happy. What about your friends, family, hobbies, goals and dreams? There is so much to be done, and absolutely no time to be sad – besides, frowning causes wrinkles, and you don’t want those. So get up, dust yourself off, embark on your adventures and start living fully – single or not!
Photo by: Uwe M. Carl
