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Galia Brener
November 23, 2016
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Relationship or No Relationship?

Relationship or No Relationship? https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Gali_bkk.jpg 622 510 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g November 23, 2016 November 23, 2016

To commit or not to commit, that is not the questions anymore. Welcome to the dawn of a new era, where some people think that being single is a luxury, whereas marriage with children for them is considered as slavery, or even worse, a prison sentence. My single friends say that commitment has become an old-fashioned theory of the past, and even more so within the last few years. What is happening to our society, and why are people so scared of the “C” word? Could it be that in the near future, we will only be able to read about commitment in history books? Or will romance still exist if we make the right choices?

My friend Gloria was seeing a CEO of a very well known bank in Frankfurt. They met at the JFK’s Bar of the magnificent Villa Kennedy hotel. He was sitting at the opposite end of the bar with his colleagues, and she was there with her best friend. “Tony M” is a very powerful and well-known man in this city. Gloria didn’t know who he was, and that surprised him. They hit it off right away, talking about travel, culture and art. She had a lot to say, and that amused him. She was a hot little firecracker, he thought. He took her out to lovely restaurants, and treated her to delicious food and wine. He tried his moves on her, but Gloria didn’t want it to go too fast. She always made the same mistake in the past by sleeping with men too soon. However with this one, she decided to take her time. Tony was very turned on by this. The more she said no, the more he wanted her. Four weeks later she decided to finally sleep with him. After a long romantic dinner, they went back to his flat. They hardly made it upstairs, and started undressing each other in the small antique elevator. She accidentally ripped his shirt buttons, and her friskiness drove him wild! They had sex three times that night, and stayed up until the morning hours, talking about life, love, honor and adventures. She felt at such ease beside him, like she could really be herself. He caressed her, and his gentle touch confirmed his feelings towards her. She left his flat the next day skipping and singing, elated with happiness.

She waited for his call that evening, but her phone did not ring. They met a few days later, but she felt that everything has drastically changed. There was no more romance or effort on his part. She knew it was over, and this thought made her sick to her stomach. They met a few times again, but it became worse. He was cold and distant to her, and even a bit mean. Gloria called me crying desperately. “Why?!” she asked. “What did I do wrong?” She said they had such lovely deep conversations, so much in common, and such fun together. She thought that he might be “The One”! She was devastated. She couldn’t eat or sleep for weeks. She felt so hurt and betrayed, but worse of all, she felt used like a cheap whore. Gloria is a great woman. She’s smart, attractive, warm, funny and very feminine. What the hell was wrong with Tony, and why did he do this to her? Only a few weeks ago he looked her straight in the eyes, saying how much he liked her, and a month later, she saw him with three different women. Is Tony simply an asshole, or is there another reason behind his disgusting behavior?

What is the real reason behind fear of commitment? I came up with three possibilities:

1. People are looking for “the next best thing.”
Some have a perpetual need for something bigger, better, sexier, richer, more fun, younger… more more more! Since everything is offered by the masses, and there are limitless opportunities and temptations everywhere, the thought of “Could I do better?” often pops up in their heads. There is nothing wrong with searching for your Prince Charming and Miss Right, but to the temporary “place holders” you are dating, you might actually be their dream man/woman. Therefore tell them right away how you see it, and don’t damage them. They did nothing wrong to deserve this egoistic crap, so learn to have mercy. Think of karma, because it will come and bite where it hurts. For the ones suffering in this situation, it could be that s/he is just not that into you. It happened to me before, and I know it hurts like hell, but you can’t force love. Besides, don’t you want someone who truly loves you, and not someone that you have to run after, and feel stupid doing so? Respect yourself, and know that you deserve to be loved. Move on.

2. People have been badly hurt in the past, and don’t want to go through that pain again.
What about, “No risk, no love”? Getting hurt is a bitch, but we have all been there. (Some like myself, even more than once). I always encourage my friends to find their courage and get back into the boxing… or rather, dating ring. It’s a 50/50 chance to get knocked out again, or come out as a champion with the love of your life beside you. Giving into hurt and bitterness by hiding in your own shell to lick the wounds is ok for the first few months, but then survivorship and courage must kick in. You must allow yourself to have another chance in love. Don’t be your own victim, because the next person you meet might be the one you have been waiting for all along. True love is only for the very strong – because if you can handle some knockouts, and after that still aspire to find love, then you deserve it!

3. People want to simply enjoy the sex buffet and have fun.
If you want a serious commitment, keep your hands away from these ones. Who needs a guy who wants to sleep with a different girl every few days? The Internet offers meat… oops, I mean flirts and dates, left and right. When going out, some offer themselves on a platter, “Take me, take me!!” No way. Just thinking of disease opportunities gives me the shivers. When it comes to these sorts of “love phobics”, send them to the next red light district area with 50 euros, and erase them out of you existence. Trust me, this 50 will be the best investment you have ever made, because their disappearance out of your life is priceless! We live in a time where people offer an auction online for their virginity. So maybe “sex-buffet-wo/man” is not the best candidate for dreaming of a fabulous future together. Again, move on. Cry for a day, but be happy for a lifetime.

If you want a serious relationship, stay away from the people with the above mentioned symptoms. These “illnesses” do not have an over-the-counter cure. Maybe the broken heart guy still has a chance, but out of personal experience, these cases take ages to cure, and usually you are left alone and hurting. My advice is to listen to your gut feeling. Put on your magic glasses, and look carefully through the “Lens of Truth”. Play Sherlock Holmes, and pay attention to the small things they say or do, because there are many hints given to you. Also look careful at how they act around their family, friends, children and elderly people. Take your time to get to know them, and don’t give your heart away too quickly. That was always my bloody mistake. But with time, I learned to listen and observe better. I like to think that when you meet people with fear of commitment, it’s actually your angels taking care of you not to fall in love with the wrong person who will make your life miserable. So allow your angels to do their work, and don’t interfere in their magic. They have a nice plan for you, so have faith.

Galia Brener
June 17, 2016
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There is nothing wrong with being single.

There is nothing wrong with being single. https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/CF_Testshoot_2016_7905-1.jpg 1200 899 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g June 17, 2016 November 4, 2016

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word single is defined as: “Not having or including another: only one.” What the hell is this nonsense? It sounds so lonely and awful! Please do not listen to Mr. Merriam or Webster, who wrote this depressive crap in the early 19^th century, when being single after the age of 20 was considered a mortal sin! Being single does not mean that you are the only one, lonely or that you do not have anyone else. Quite the opposite! Being single means that you are clever enough not to jump onto the next best thing, just for the sake of “having a partner” or having a heart in your Facebook relationship status. I like to say, “It’s better to be single than in a bad relationship.”

There are advantages to being single, such as more time for getting your things done. We tend to get sad and think of how much we want love when we are single. But instead of being sad, take that same energy and invest it into your career. You have a chance to increase your motivation, to focus and concentrate on your work, and not get sidetracked. You should use this spare time to apply yourself as much as you can to achieve success. Don’t forget that when you meet a new love, the concentration is gone for the first half a year, and your career might suffer from it. So take the time now and make yourself successful.

Grab your best friend, and finally go on that Asia trip that you have been dreaming of for so long! Don’t sit on your couch fantasizing about having a man beside you, instead get off your bum, book a flight, pack your nice outfits and enjoy life! Make your single time special and truly unforgettable. When the man and children come, there will not be much time to leisurely fly around the world with your girls. You will have responsibilities to take care of, and jet-setting will not be your first priority, so why not do it now? Travelling enriches the soul, and broadens your horizon. Your adventures will shape and make you the person that you are meant to be. Besides, you never know what happens on such journeys, and whom you meet. You might be pleasantly surprised.

My friend Jilli is a good example for this. She was hurt in the past, and it was the last drop in her tortured love life, so she swore off men and simply didn’t care anymore. Instead, she founded her own company, worked her bum off, became successful, traveled the world with her friends, took care of her health and body, spend precious time with her parents, cooked delicious meals for herself, and simply enjoyed life. She was not going to put her happiness in the hands of a stranger anymore. She wanted to create her own happy world, and so she did! One warm summer evening we all went to the King Kamehameha boat party. Jilli was silly that evening, and the first thing she said was, “To hell with love!” I remember laughing because she had a Prosecco in one hand, and the other hand waving at the air pretending to send love away. The music was fantastic, the cocktails were delicious and the air was warm with sensual tension. This evening Jilli unexpectedly met the love of her life, Leo. Their love is still strong, and even today; Kingka is a magical love-charm for them. Jilli told me that last night she and Leo went to the Kingka Family Reunion party, and they had such a wonderful time! It brought them happy memories of when they first met. Kingka has and always will have a special place in their hearts.

But you see, love works quite differently than we want it to. As soon as Jilli didn’t stress and get desperate about it, love came flying straight towards her. She was occupied with life, instead of sitting sad at home. People smell a state of desperation, and it repels them away. Jilli chose life, and in the process got love. Being single is not a curse or bloody disease. So enjoy it.

Harassing yourself with thoughts of “Where is he already?” will not get you anywhere. On the contrary, it will make you more miserable and desperate. Desperation is a bitch because she will force you to take anyone, just to feel close and warm to “someone”. When Lady Desperation comes knocking on your door, send her back to hell where she belongs. You are fabulous and deserve the best, so please don’t settle for less because you can’t stand being single anymore. We have all been there. The best thing is to start occupying yourself with important things as soon as possible. Going out, partying and drinking with your friends might be an entertaining way too pass time, but it will not leave you satisfied. It’s better to include some serious goal making and achieving time during your single phase. Then you can look back and see that you have accomplished something during this time. Don’t sit and wait for a partner to come into your life to complete and make you happy. What about your friends, family, hobbies, goals and dreams? There is so much to be done, and absolutely no time to be sad – besides, frowning causes wrinkles, and you don’t want those. So get up, dust yourself off, embark on your adventures and start living fully – single or not!

Photo by: Uwe M. Carl

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Galia Brener
February 14, 2016
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Valentine’s Day on RTL with Galia Brener

Valentine’s Day on RTL with Galia Brener https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Gallery_cover_photo.jpg 398 395 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g February 14, 2016 November 4, 2016

Thank you dear Lisa Marie Siewert and RTL for the funny and nice interview! To all my friends, family and readers, I wish you a wonderful Valentine’s Day full of happiness, good health and love! Don’t be shy to show your emotions and feelings. Life is short – live now and don’t regret later! Hugs, Gali <3 Please excuse the horrible German! ;-)

Read the article here: https://www.galiabrener.com/valentines-day-for-couples-and-singles/

Behind the scenes photos:

Galia Brener
February 12, 2016
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Valentine’s Day shooting for RTL

Valentine’s Day shooting for RTL https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/RTL_video_Feb_2016_2.jpg 822 545 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g February 12, 2016 November 4, 2016

Thank you dear Lisa Marie Siewert from RTL for the funny and nice interview! If you are curious what I said about Valentine’s Day – watch it Friday Feb. 12th at 6pm on RTL Hessen <3

If you are curious about my Valentine’s Day tip for lovers and singles, take a look at my article: https://www.galiabrener.com/valentines-day-for-couples-and-singles/

Behind the scenes photos and shooting done at the Steigenberger Frankfurter Hof.

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Galia Brener
February 12, 2016
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Valentine’s Day: For couples and singles!

Valentine’s Day: For couples and singles! https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Valentines_Day_2016.jpg 822 545 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g February 12, 2016 November 4, 2016

Dear friends and readers, yesterday I gave an interview to the German television station RTL about Valentine’s Day. I was asked why I think that Valentine’s Day is so important for couples. Of course there are many reasons for that, which I will mention below. However I also brought up the point that Valentine’s Day is not only for couples. In fact, Valentine’s Day can be enjoyed and celebrated being single as well!

We live in a really fast-paced society, where feelings and emotions are often hidden on the inside and are suppressed as well! People are scared to get hurt and therefore they are not so quick with letting their true feelings show. Some people are naturally a little bit colder with their feeling than others. That’s where Valentine’s Day becomes so valuable. I know that it’s actually just one day out of the year, and some people make a totally big deal out of it, but I agree with them. This is the one day where it’s ALL ABOUT LOVE! This is a day where being cheesy and corny is ok. When showing feelings and emotions is considered cute. I know that some feminists would kill me when they read this, but this is a day where it’s ok to be an old-fashioned girly woman who is soft, feminine and vulnerable. This is a day where you can actually bake a cake for your love with his name written in pink hearts and glitter, and they won’t think that you’re a psycho manga freak. This is a day for love, when emotions are celebrated and given without regret!

I’m sure that with the daily grind and everyday life at work, romance in relationships becomes routine and almost all together forgotten. So thankfully good old V-Day comes a bit over a month after Christmas and New Years, when the holiday stress is over and there is a nice chance to find the path back to each other again. Let’s call it a mini jumpstart to spark up the romance again. I recommend to really take the initiative and plan something über romantic for that day. Maybe a dinner in a nice restaurant, with your hand-written love letter set in front of your partner as a surprise. Or maybe baking a cake naked together and laughing like wild teenagers. Or surprise your man at home with your new lingerie that you bought especially for this day. Maybe a small trip to a romantic city or even a song that you wrote specially for her. The presents must not be expensive, but they must be directly from the heart – to show how much you care. Nothing can be too cheesy on his day! Written poems, a surprise engagement ring, an old photo from your first date in a silver frame, or just cuddling, kissing, movies and love making in bed all day! If you have liked someone for a long time and they don’t know about it, this is also a good day to tell them how you really feel about them! You never know, maybe they feel the same way about you. It’s a day to connect and reconnect.

Single on Valentine’s Day? That’s great too! Since this is a day for love – this doesn’t only include romantic love! Why not go for dinner with your best friend and exchange cards that you have written for each other, or small little presents to show how much you cherish your friendship? In fact you can also bake that same cake (maybe not naked? ;-) with your BFF and have fun decorating and eating it together. I have also been know to invite my parents to dinner on Valentine’s Day and tell them how much I love them and am thankful for everything they have done for me! Or even take the time out with your siblings or anyone that means a lot to you. The great thing about Valentine’s Day is that you don’t have to be lonely just because you’re single! This is a day to show gratitude to those in your life that you love, respect and are thankful to have around.

Valentine’s Day is about sharing the most valuable thing that you have with the one you love. And what is this valuable thing? It’s your time! You are giving your love and time on this special day to the person who matters a lot to you! Therefore it’s important to cherish this time you have together – because not everything is infinite. You are here now, so enjoy it now.

Last but not least, I always say that it would be great to make Valentine’s Day a tradition at least once every month to show your loved one how much they mean to you. Why only limit your display of love, attention and affection to February 14^th? Life is not that super long my dear friends. Give your love. Show your feelings. Tell them how you feel. Do the things that are important now, so that you don’t regret later for not doing it – sometimes later it too late. Have a happy, healthy, loving, fun, exciting and passionate Valentine’s Day dear friends and readers! <3

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Galia Brener
December 4, 2015
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Can you live without Love?

Can you live without Love? https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Gali_giant_flower.jpg 1200 400 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g December 4, 2015 November 4, 2016

You can’t live with her you can’t live without her. Sometimes you even compromise yourself, your beliefs, your morals and values – in order to have this thing in your life. Her name is Love, and she is a ruthless, egoistic maniac, who will show you what living is all about. She will make the blood rush in your peaceful veins, the adrenalin pump through your guts, and she will even cause your heart to hurt, and almost burst out of your body. But despite all of the ups and downs, the pain and sorrows, good and bad moments, we still yearn for this bittersweet Lady Love to come knocking on our door.

My friend Heather was telling me about her long lost love. They were together for 8 years. I still do not have a clue how they made it together for so long – that can only be explained due to magic! Those two are complete opposites of each other. He is serious and conservative, and she is a party queen that can disappear for three days in a row, and come back with stories about meeting the devil himself! They are two squares that make a circle together. They both suffered and enjoyed so much in this relationship – so many makeups and breakups. Slamming doors, tears, screaming, arguing, makeup sex, passion, understanding, romance, miscommunication, desire, fights, compliments, insults, blame and support. They couldn’t live without each other. The love was far from perfect, but so intense! Unfortunately the love came to an end when one of them cheated and a child was made. Heather still speaks of him with tears in her eyes. She told me that she will never forgot him until she dies. Sad. How could it be that something so strong and intense simply breaks in half?

We live in a society where giving up is easier than ordering a stinky anchovies pizza. We have to fight for our Lady Love because believe me, if we wont, there will be someone else out there who will gladly give her what she needs, and then she’s gone! That’s life. Things get taken for granted. One day it’s an earth-shattering love, and the next day your best friend is moving into a villa together with your ex husband – whom you still love, but don’t admit. Don’t be a fool, open your heart and tell them that you still love them. You never know… you might save that special love, or otherwise regret it your entire life! Heather regrets it until this day that she had the chance to save her love, but her ego wouldn’t allow her to do so.

If love is really such a bitch, than why do we come back for more? Because we are human, and humans were not made to be alone. You can ask the biggest player in his sad, weak moment, and even he will tell you that he wants to have a big love. Unfortunately in the last decades, love was made to appear as something cheesy, for the ultra sappy. It’s totally insane, but being a single, successful, good-looking, strong and not-so-emotional woman these days is considered “cooler” than being a women ridiculously in love – who sends sweet messages to her partner, talks about him all the time with big glittery in-love eyes and draws hearts beside him name. Since when did love get such a negative weak reputation?

I know a woman who does this to me – behind my back. Every time I speak to my man in a sweet and loving tone, she turns around and pretends to put her fingers in her throat. Then she says, “Oh Galia, get over it, this is so cheesy. Wake up from your annoying pink bubble, because you are making us puke. It’s all fake!” Eventually I have learned to just look at her and laugh. Poor girl. Where is this reaction coming from – Jealousy? Bitterness? Loneliness? Lack of goodness and purity in her heart? Who the hell knows! Love is a bitch to everyone – but if she can’t get up after being shot down by Lady Love (like all of us), then she will definitely fry in her dark pan like a raw chewy octopus for years to come.

Love is a bitch. She gets us all. Some are scared of Lady Love, some run after her, but never catch her. Some try to avoid her, and ironically get thrown into her arms. There is no way of avoiding this mysterious Lady. After we have been beaten by Love, we have two choices: 1. We crawl into our shell and not let anyone hurt us ever again – meaning that we never experience love again! 2. Or we crawl out of our shell – after properly licking our wounds, and try to ride Lady Love again. Do you really want to miss out on the excitement of which freaks you shall meet next? The Freakazoid fun is so priceless! I’m kidding. But on a more serious note, it’s definitely worth trying to find your true love again, even if you have been incredibly hurt in the past. Maybe next time you shall get lucky and meet “The One”? I believe that only the ones with faith will get a true taste of Lady Love. It’s like Russian roulette. Love is a bitch, but we all need her in our lives. She is addictive. She is magical, unforgettable… and she’s coming to get you!

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Galia Brener
October 16, 2015
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Where can you find love?

Where can you find love? https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Gatsby_Party.jpg 1200 400 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g October 16, 2015 November 4, 2016

Are you ready to find that strange addictive drug everyone is gossiping about, called “Love”? But where can you find it? Just a little friendly warning, your dream partner will not be dropped from the heavens above into your living room. You must leave your flat once in a while, because couch surfing will not bring you closer to finding love.

I will start with my favorite thing in the entire Universe: Food. Honestly, who does not love an exotic meal, with unique smells and tastes they never tried before? Food unites people, especially those who truly enjoy it! The Kleinmarkthalle in Frankfurt on Saturdays is perfect because you can browse the aisles filled with delicious fresh food, beautiful women and handsome men. These fellows actually attempt to cook, and are not scared to burn down their flat. That’s 2 bonus points for bravery! Have a coffee in the market, it’s a perfect place to see and be seen. I would also recommend taking a cooking class with a good chef. You can meet someone nice with a similar hobby, and maybe make you own “Crème Brûlée” together at home, if you know what I mean! You can also try art, photography, language, music, dance, and acting classes.

A grocery store is full of opportunities. Best time to go is after work, around 7 – 8pm. Accidently drop your bacon on his foot, or let him reach for a bottle of wine on a top shelf for you. Even if you can reach it yourself, ask him for his help. Men like to feel needed, and will be glad to help you. Then start a casual conversation about wines, white or red, which country you prefer best, etc. Don’t forget to show your pretty smile. Nothing is sexier than an authentic, warm, friendly smile!

After all this eating, you must burn off the calories. Where? At the gym, golf course or yoga class. I did Kung Fu for a while, because I love action, and sparring with men is really fun. You get to punch, kick, and see how the sexual tension rises! If you see someone you like at the gym, make eye contact with him/her. Do that several times, and in the last few times, smile sweetly and look away. Men are hunters in their nature, so allow him to make the first move and effort to get you. Be sweet, open and friendly, but don’t overdo it. Let him be the ones to charm you! Also, do not underestimate a nice jog, or walk in the park with your dog.

After all this physical activity, it’s time to rest and visit a nice bookstore. Sit down and browse through the book you want to buy, or maybe have a coffee and muffin at the bookstore café. Women: go to the cars and sport sections of the bookstore. Men: go to the cooking, gardening, etc. sections. You never know who you will lock your eyes with there! Art, travel, photography, design, architecture, fashion, etc. are also wonderful areas at a bookstore to meet interesting people. Maybe try to finally fix up your home and go to a hardware store. You will find many “big steel hammers” there… so go and have fun!

After fixing your home and reading the books, it’s time to put on your favorite outfit and go out with your friends. Nice neighborhood cafés, bars and lounges are always good. Ask the sexy man standing beside you at the bar what he is drinking, because you want to try something new. Give him a warm smile and say thanks. If he’s into you, he will continue the conversation. If not, it means that he might be taken, shy or is not into you. If he is shy, try to make eye contact a few more times, and see how he responds. Smile at him so that he sees that you are interested. This will help him work up the courage to talk to you. Men and women need reassurance. It’s normal to be scared of rejection. There is nothing wrong in showing someone “subtly” that you are interested in them. Try to attend private house parties with friends. It’s great meeting friends of friends, because you know that you will most likely meet nice quality people.

Special events like wine or whiskey tasting are fabulous to meet your new love. You can taste delicious new brands, ask questions, laugh and truly enjoy yourself. Go to an old-timer car event with your brother, and meet new men. Or take your best buddy and go on a ski holiday. You are assured to bump into some fun people on the slopes or at the Après-ski bars and resort areas. This will be a guaranteed amazing time, and will give you a chance to bond with your friend.

This might sound old-fashioned, but a church, synagogue, etc. are great places to meet someone who is serious, and is looking for a life partner, rather than a few nights of wild fun. Community service, like helping the homeless is also wonderful and good for your karma! Art exhibitions, museums and galleries are excellent for meeting someone interesting. Talk about the crazy painting that’s in front of you, and try to make each other laugh by describing the silly things you interpret in it. Flirt and enjoy yourself. If things flow smoothly, go for a coffee afterwards.

Remember dear boys and girls, if s/he does not flirt back, it’s not the end of the world. There are so many wonderful places to go to and lovely people to meet. The partner that is meant to be for you will enter your life when you least expect it! Do not be sad if it does not happen very soon. Everything happens in the right time and place. Give it some time and enjoy your single life. Then one day, you will bump into him on the street, or at a boat party, and you’ll know he’s the one. Be happy and exude positivity! Happiness attracts happy people.

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Photo by: Bruno Steinert