strength

Ego kills love!

Ego kills love! 960 960 Galia Brener

Hello, my name is Ego, and I am here to destroy your relationships. I am your best friend, and in fact, I am you! Let me teach you our rules: you better damn know that we are always right! They hurt us, so we must punish them by becoming distant, cold, and letting them suffer. Let’s stay mad, and not talk to them for a few days, see how they feel about that! That will teach them a big lesson, and make them crawl back to us, begging for forgiveness. I am the best, smartest, most intelligent, fantastic thing that exists. I am the EGO after all! My way of doing things is always the best. Everyone must do things my way, because I am a control freak! I must warn you about our enemy “Love”. Being your ego, I want what’s best for you. I take care of you, and make sure you are always protected against the enemy. Love is very tricky. Love always wants me to listen to the other side of the story, and also admit when I am wrong! Can you believe it?! Love requires a strange thing called “compromising”. It’s totally beneath me. I do not do compromising since my opinion is the right one, why should I agree with anyone else? They must only agree with me! If Love doesn’t understand that, then she can drown herself in the toilet. I will be happy to push the handle and watch her flush down, where she belongs. My name is EGO, and I am the only one who truly cares about you. I want the best for you! I adore always saying “I”, since “I” am the center of the Universe!

 

Sounds funny right? Unfortunately, that’s what happens in the minds of most people, including yours. Maybe not to such a drastic extent, but everyone’s Ego has gotten in the way of their happiness, at least once in their lives. 

 

My friend Cindy told me a story about her boyfriend. They loved each other very much. Unfortunately after a few months, both started having problems with their jobs. This stressed them out, and made them fight. They had long talks, and Cindy realized what her mistakes were. She wanted to compromise and make the necessary steps to heal the relationship. She loved him more than the air she breathed. He continued to be cold and distant, even though she made such a huge effort to come towards him, and understand him. She opened her heart to him, and explained why these problems occurred, because she waned them to find a path together for the future. Cindy managed to step over her ego, and did all she could to save the relationship. His mistakes also created problems and fights, but he wouldn’t admit it. With horror, she realized, “How can a man suddenly turn off his love and emotions towards her, when he supposedly loved her so much?” And then the bitter truth struck her. He never did truly love her. A man that genuinely loves his woman is happy when she wants to make compromises, and save the relationship. Everyone is different when entering a relationship, and only compromises can save true love. Throwing something away is quite easy. His ego and pride were standing in his way. He couldn’t see beyond, and it made him weak. Due to this, he lost the person that loved him more than anyone ever did or will. He will realize this as time goes by, when sadness and regret settle deep in his broken heart. By then, it will be too late.

 

To be able to “truly” love, you must drop the ego. The Ego knows no difference between male or female. We all have this evil inside of us. The Ego sticks its wicked claws into the person, controls them, and usually ruins their loves and lives. It must be controlled and not given any power! For example feeling jealousy, or feeling the need to argue with your partner until s/he admits that you are right. These fights usually occur about minor issues, and during times of stress. You might think that the other is taking advantage of you, and your point of view is less important then theirs. My advice to you is, don’t sweat the small stuff, simply let it go! You cannot always be right. What helps is resisting the temptation to always feel the need to defend yourself. This is actually the Ego defending itself. The Ego will win the argument, but you can lose your partner. Think about it, is this situation worth losing your loved one?

 

After this initial reaction to a fight, there is sometimes a need to continue punishing the partner. He hurt you, and therefore must pay the price for this. You give him/her the silent treatment, creating mountains of distance between you two. Who will write or call first? How long will you continue to treat your partner this way after the argument? Until the love completely dies? Actually, you are also hurting yourself in the process of this unnecessary harsh treatment. 

 

You must learn to agree to disagree! Learn to compromise! After arguments, the Ego will always try to trick you with doubts, fear, self-defence, re-thinking/evaluating the relationship, thinking “This doesn’t make me happy anymore, I need to protect myself and get out now!” The cold brutal rationality kills any feeling of love that you both established before. There will be fights once in a while, but you must be ready to let the issue go, or not only give blame, but also take blame upon yourself. Even Soul Mates are challenged with fights, in order to determine if their love for each other is real and strong. Be brave and tame your Ego. Build your own inner strength! This will not humiliate you, quite the opposite actually, this will make you strong and brave! How much longer do you want to be a slave to your Ego? If you are not willing to adjust to each other and work together on your relationship, then do yourself and your heart a favor, do not fall in love at all.

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Love yourself and overcome your insecurities.

Love yourself and overcome your insecurities. 1200 400 Galia Brener

I would like to introduce myself again. My name is Galia Brener, and in high school people called me “Pepperoni pizza”. I had horrible acne. Grotesque pimples decorated my face, chest and back. I used to cover half of my face with my hair, and walk around like “Cousin It” from the Addams Family. I still have scars on my face and chest. Up until a few years ago, I would conceal this with heavy makeup, but now, I just don’t give a damn anymore. I threw out all of that hideous makeup. Too many years of crying for nothing!

 

Do you feel/think that: You are overweight? You have acne? You are too short? Too tall? Too skinny? Not smart or pretty enough? You feel like an alien alone on this planet because you’re different? Don’t worry, you are not alone. Listen to Pepperoni Pizza’s advice: Who cares what the others say or think. BE WHO YOU ARE, and be proud of it! “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” That’s my favorite quote from Oscar Wilde.

 

These insecurities take lots of joy and happiness away from us. For the first 20 years of my life I felt terrible about my face. Eventually, I got so sick and tired of hiding behind my hair and makeup. Those are just “illusions”. Even through the makeup, one could see the scars and acne. And even through the baggy long clothing, one can see your full curvy (beautiful!) body. So how long are we going to hide behind these “protectors”? And is this really protecting us, or making our insecurities worse?

 

My friend “Honey” is a European size 44, and is drop-dead gorgeous! She dated a man that treated her very badly. He always called her fat. Finally she had the courage to dump him. She was depressed and ate chocolate day and night to comfort her soul. Being a good friend, I ate the kilos of chocolate with her, while crying and laughing together. After we both gained one more clothing size, we decided to go to a party. Honey saw a tall, handsome, olive-skinned man with eyes as bright as the Jaguar XKR-S French Racing Blue color! He is a well-known basketball star (Let’s call him J). She fell in love at first sight! Later on, he approached her with a glass of wine, and they spent the rest of the evening chatting. Today they are still happy together. Sadly, Honey continues with her diets. She looses and gains weight, but J never cares about it. He loves her for who she is. The only person that cares about the weight is Honey herself. That’s a damn shame, because she is curvy and extremely beautiful, but doesn’t see or feel it!

 

So who really notices all of your imperfections? YOU! Sorry to tell you this, but you are your worst enemy. Just like I was mine. I hated my pimples, so I squeeze them. Unfortunately that made them even worse and left scars! It was disgusting and awful. I was trapped in my own dark hell inside of my head. What helped me later was to acknowledge and concentrate on my strengths! Are you good at art, cooking, sports, design, dancing, singing, etc? If so, spend more time doing these things and less time criticizing yourself. Do not constantly talk about your flaws with others. Instead, mention your good traits!

 

Here are a few steps that helped me to overcome my insecurity issues:

 

1: Ignore non-constructive insults, judgments and criticism about you and your body.

2: Let go of past emotional garbage. It’s a decision of letting go and starting a fresh cycle.

3: Don’t try to always please others. You’ll never be able to satisfy everyone. Think of yourself too!

4: Avoid negative and toxic people. Keep them out of your life!

5: Stop your negative thoughts. As soon as they start, block them by thinking of something completely different. Don’t give such destructive thoughts a chance to upset you!

6: Stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t copy others and accept your uniqueness.

7: Attack your worries and fears. Face them head-on! I hated going out into the sunlight with my acne because everyone could see it. I spent my days at home after school, like a damn vampire. So sad and pathetic. Enough! Face your fears! Buy that sexy dress, even if you feel that you are too curvy for it. Just do it and wear it with pride!

8: It’s time to start loving and respecting yourself. If you wont, then the others wont either! Show others how you want to be treated.

9: Set goals for yourself, and when you achieve them, reward and treat yourself.

10: Become more positive in your thoughts and actions. Be happy!

 

Please promise me that once you feel strong inside, try to help others to get to such a wonderful place as well. Look outside at what is happening in this crazy world. We are there to help each other. But before we can do so, we must start by helping ourselves. I wish you lots of good luck, strength and energy for your mission. Everything will be ok!

 

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Kill the fear and follow your dreams!

Kill the fear and follow your dreams! 1354 437 Galia Brener
dreaming
 Well all have those special dreams in our hearts. For some it might be to become self-employed, for others it is to move to their favorite city, build their dream house or start a family. Whatever your dream is, however big or small it is, it’s time to start making those changes and move yourself towards your goal. It’s now or never dear friends and readers.2015 will be a power year for many to finally make those changes. The last few years may have been tough on us, me included, but this year is a time of positive change. Call me a dreamer, or call me silly, but I have the gut feeling that many of you have those special dreams that you shall start to actualize this year. There is a superpower energy in 2015 that has already started to push peoples’ behinds to achieve their goals. All we need is a little nudge, motivation and to face our fears head on!

Fear. It is a primary emotion in all human beings. What stops most people from following their dreams in life? Fear. Fear of the future. Fear of failure. Fear of not succeeding. Fear of making a fool of oneself. Fear of loss. Fear of being alone. The list goes on and on. This emotion blocks and paralyzes people from going after what they want in life. “Quit my job and start my own business? What if I don’t succeed and go bankrupt?” – but what if you do succeed and achieve greater things than you ever could imagine? Or “I will marry this guy and start a family even if he’s not my first or even second choice. At least I won’t end up alone.” – and what if you waited and actually met the love of your life, instead of taking third-best to avoid being alone? See my point dear readers? Fear makes us stick to the safe beaten path, so that we don’t have to take a risk and fail. But who knows what greatness and happiness we are blocking ourselves from if we don’t take that risk?

My best friend Jilli is a perfect example for this. She worked at an advertising agency for a while as a senior art director. She had a great salary and was settled in her job. However her heart always wished to become an entrepreneur again (like she was some years ago). She had many of her own ideas and visions. She wanted to open her own design company and create unique products for companies. She was so inspired and that was the only thing she talked about. I told her to do it. Go for the gold. Dream big. Worse comes to worse, the company fails and she gets another job at a different agency. Well, it’s been over half a year and her company is doing pretty damn well! She succeeded because she put her fear aside. I always told her that if she doesn’t go after her dream, someone else will hire her to make their dreams come true. Jilli hated hearing this sentence because she knew it was true! Now she is making her own dreams come true. Bravo Jilli, a true warrior at heart. I must mention that Jilli fell down a few times with previous endeavors. Yet she always stood back up again and marched towards her dream. We only have this chance now – in this lifetime.

What if you were guaranteed a 100% chance of succeeding? Would that change anything? Sure it would, because it would remove the fear factor. Well my dear, this is the grand year where many of you will be tested to see how much your fears are controlling you. Why not start to follow your dreams now? The fact is that we are not getting younger, and as everyday goes by, it’s another day wasted without a step towards your big goal. So why not organize your plans, thoughts and options and see what you can do to make that first step. Make a solid plan and go for it! I cannot even begin to tell you how incredible it feels to do what you love. Speaking from a career point of view, I do what I love and I am thrilled everyday to be writing and helping people. This feeling is unbeatable. I would not have been here now, had I not taken the big risk to move to Europe 12 years ago and start my own business. Sure I’ve fallen down a few times and gazed failure in the face, but the success and positive outcome made the hard climb worth it. It’s ok to fall down on the path to success – It’s quite normal actually. All successful people fell down a few times and gotten back up again. Those that take the risk of making their dreams come true are the ones that truly live and fully utilize their life. 2015 is literally the ass-kicking year. Either allow it to help you touch your dream or wallow in the safe corner – a.k.a – your comfort zone. And then wake up at 80 and realize “Wow! It’s over. No chances anymore.” So what shall is be, dream big or go home?

How I got in good shape

How I got in good shape 1354 437 Galia Brener
This one is for the ladies and gentlemen who have asked me how I managed to drop 10 kg and succeeded at looking better, healthier and fitter. This article marks the 2-year Anniversary of writing my column, so I will open up to you today, and tell you how I personally managed my big transformation this year.

It all started on January 1st 2014, when I didn’t fit into my favorite jeans anymore. It was the day after New Year’s Eve, and I looked around the flat, disgusted by the fast food boxes from the nights before. I wasn’t happy with my body, excess fat and cellulite anymore. It always annoyed me to hear people talking about doing sports, getting fit and working out. Even worse were the people talking about eating healthy food, salads, less carbs, blah blah blah. I thought, “How pathetic, what kind of life is that?” I only had pizza and burgers on my mind. I liked to show off that I could eat whatever and whenever I want to. One day, my best friend showed me a bikini photo of us from the previous summer in Ibiza. I was shocked. My stomach was hanging over the bikini bottoms and the cellulite was all over my thighs. My upper arms were flabby and my bum was much more than what I bargained for. I know that happiness comes from the inside, and we should love ourselves no matter what we look like, but I wasn’t happy with what I saw in the mirror. I wanted to be fit and toned!

The very first thing I changed was not to eat after 6pm. I don’t mean no carbs after 6pm, but rather nothing at all! Of course I drink water and tea, but no food at all after this hour. I go to sleep around midnight, so that leaves me with 6 hours to digest the food I ate in the early evening. What I noticed right away was how amazingly flat my stomach was when waking up in he morning! I feel light, and sleep better – since the body is not working on digesting the food that I would usually eat at 9pm or later. I do have to warn you though: it was a living hell at the beginning. The first two weeks were horrendous torture. I would walk around my flat hungry and angry like a monster. What worked was to go to sleep earlier in order to avoid this feeling. After a few weeks, my stomach and body got used to not eating after 6pm, and it was completely normal for me. The nice thing is that I don’t have the energy ups and downs anymore, but rather a constant energy flow throughout the day. I make the rare exception and eat later if I’m out for dinner with friends, but try not to break this rule very often.

I start my day at 8am with a cup of coffee and a big glass of water. I have breakfast around 10am, and eat something light, like cereal, eggs or a small sandwich. I’m not a believer in the Atkins or low-carb diet. I’ve done them and the Ketogenic diet as well, but it’s not for me. Carbs make me super happy, and I can’t deny myself of eating them. Life is short and we have to enjoy! I eat my lunch around 2pm. For me, lunch is the most important meal, and not breakfast. For lunch I usually eat a large salad with chicken or turkey inside. I like Caesar salad, and I’m not afraid to eat the dressing that goes with it, and some bread too. Fish is also good, stuffed peppers, or roasted chicken with vegetable – even with baked, boiled or mashed potatoes. I also like steaks, and once in a while eat it with French fries. I don’t deprive myself of anything! I eat what I love, but all in healthy doses. I still eat burgers, but only 1 or 2 times a month. I eat Thai food, with rice, chicken and vegetables. What I really love is sushi. Soups, vegetable sticks and fruit are great snacks for in between. I don’t eat pizza or pasta – personally for me, it’s too heavy. I usually make a nice sandwich around 5 – 6 pm with fresh vegetables on the side. I don’t eat big things for dinner, mostly a soup, wrap, salad or sandwich. I don’t usually eat desserts, cakes or pastries, because I never liked the heavy sweet taste. However, I’m not afraid to eat a few small pieces of dark chocolate during the day, because it makes me happy.

Around February, I decided to add some fun physical activity again. I tried yoga years before and thought it to be horribly boring and hippie-infested. This year I decided to try it again, and chose a dynamic course. I loved it! It melts the daily stress away, leaving me relaxed and happy. I noticed my muscles slowly developing. It looked sexy, so I started doing yoga twice a week. In April I watched a movie from the 80’s and saw a woman doing some funny Jane Fonda moves at home. A silly thought came into my head, “Why don’t I do this at home?” So I started with sit-ups, push-ups, bum busters, squats and the side plank hip lifts. I started with a small amount of 20 times on each side, and 3 sets. Now I progressed to 50 times and 3 sets. Take your own time and start slowly. Getting in shape takes time and patience! I now also use 2kg weights, and do 30 curls on each side for my biceps and triceps, and also in 3 sets. Depending on my muscle pain the next day, I either skip a day or do these exercises everyday at home. It takes a total of 1 hour for me. I wake up earlier to do them, or in the evening after work. This with yoga 2-3 times a week does the trick for me! I’m not a jogger, and never liked it. It’s boring for me and tough on the knees. But if you like it, then it’s a great cardio workout. I walk around the entire city from appointment to appointment, which is my cardio each day. Sports really help to get rid of cellulite. I see a huge difference, and am so happy with the results!

Last but not least, my most important achievement this year was to quit smoking. Gone are the stinky, horrible, expensive and nasty cancer sticks! It’s been 136 days now, and I don’t plan to touch them ever again. I can’t believe how much more energy I have without smoking. Walking fast and climbing stairs is so much easier now. I gained 3kg as soon as I quit, but I compensated with more sports, and thankfully lost those bloody kilos again. Stopping to smoke slowed my metabolism down, but I noticed that my body is getting back to normal, and is digesting quicker without the nicotine again. It takes time. For those that say I look better now, it’s definitely the non-smoking. The skin heals and renews itself. Also the healthier food and sports help to regenerate the body. What also helps me is 8 hours of sleep, and not drinking much alcohol. I drink wine about 3 times a month, but only a few glasses, and no alcohol at home. Of course don’t forget the usual: drink lots and lots of water, blah blah. No seriously, it really helps. I also take multi vitamins everyday. I won’t lie to you, getting into shape is hard at the beginning. However once you start and see results, you won’t be able to stop. You will feel so happy and proud of yourself! You will be healthier and your clothes will fit you better, and of course this increases the self-confidence a lot. Now I’m one of those annoying people bothering my friends about health and sports, and guess what? I will never go back to the way I was before. New life, new Gali. Come and join my “New-Me-Revolution!”

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Want to be happy?

Want to be happy? 1354 437 Galia Brener

Do you fantasize of the future, when you will have success in your career, a nice house, a wonderful partner to share your life with, that fast car that will get you all the fun and attention you desire, or the day you go on a warm holiday to Bali? Do you think to yourself, “When I will have this, then I will be happy and enjoy life.”? While you a dreaming of these things, life is passing you by. If you are relying on other people or things to make you happy, then you are making a big mistake.

My friend Gloria was in a relationship with a guy for three years. She told me many times how happy he made her, and how much better life was with him. To make a long story short, after the three years went by, he did not want to make a permanent commitment to her. He said he didn’t know when or if he wants to get married, or have kids at all. They broke up because there was no future for them. Needless to say, her world was shattered. She was depressed, horrified and overfilled with tears and pain for an entire year. She said, “Gali, he’s gone, and I will never be happy again. There is no one here to make me happy anymore.” This was a big statement that scared me very much. I tried to show her that this happiness must now come from inside of her, that’s the only way to survive this emotional pain. But she didn’t listen, and kept sinking lower into her depression. Last month she met a new man, and she is happy again, running around and singing. Can’t she see how dangerous it is that she can only be happy when having a man in her life? What happens if this one leaves as well? Then life is over again? Putting your own happiness in someone else’s hands is very volatile and risky. Happiness should be controlled by you, and not another person or new thing that you buy.

If you want to find yourself at a state of constant equilibrium, you cannot place your happiness in the hands of anyone else. You cannot control what someone will do to you, yet your reaction to it is your karma! Buying new things and going on holiday is nice, but if this is the only way for one to be happy, then there is a big problem. Sometimes there are situations when money is not always around, or the big love has disappeared – and then what? Life is over? So how do you generate happiness from the inside? I went through some harsh experiences with my private and career life the last few years, and I can understand what it feels like to be at the bottom. We have two choices. We either let ourselves fall lower into misery and become victims, or fight out of the black hole and create happiness for ourselves. Here is a list that helps me to keep my happiness and positivity:

1. I wake up in the morning healthy and alive, and that’s already a huge reason to be happy. I get out of bed, and say thank you out loud with a smile everyday.

2. Even if you feel sad, force yourself to smile, because this action releases dopamine – the feel-good chemical. If you think it looks stupid, go to a place where no one sees you, and smile – in the bathroom at the office or on your couch in the evening. It’s a really amazing trick that actually works!

3. Sport relives stress, and makes you feel amazing that you did something good for you! You don’t even need the gym, and can do it at home like I do. After working out, I feel a rush of happiness and gratification that I’m treating my body well.

4. When eating, take the time to enjoy your food. Taste it, and try to eat slower than usual. Don’t forget how fortunate you are to have a healthy stomach that can digest the food, and a healthy mouth and teeth that can chew. I had a cold two weeks ago and couldn’t taste my food. When it was gone, I realized how something small like tasting food could be so wonderful!

5. Spend as much time with family and friends as you can. These are the people that love you unconditionally. Get rid of all toxic people in your life that harm you.

6. During the day take a small moment, look up at the sky and say thank you for being here, healthy and alive. And smile.

7. If you’re healthy – even more or less – be grateful because that’s really something that cannot be bought or earned. Health is something that you are blessed with, so try to do all you can to keep it strong and with you.

8. If you have a weak or sad moment, start counting your blessings and think of all the positive things that are in your life now. This tricks the brain to think of the positive rather than negative things.

9. No love in your life now? My grandfather always said that what one year doesn’t do, one minute can change! So you never know what’s around the corner, and coming towards you. Feel the strong faith inside that your special one will come – it might happen sooner than you think!

10. Find something that you like and enjoy. If it’s reading, writing, watching your favorite series, painting, masturbating, cooking or eating, do something once a day that you truly enjoy. Find a hobby that occupies your time, and which you really enjoy. This brings pleasure and joy.

11. If your brain sends you negative thoughts, counteract them right away with positive happy thoughts. Trick the brain to replace negative with positive as soon as they appear.

12. I like to play house music from the 90s in the evening or morning when doing my sports or housework. It makes me happy to dance around my flat and act silly. I don’t care who sees me from my windows. I’m happy in that moment, and I smile to myself as well.

13. Action and not inertia. If you have something to deal with, do it now! Don’t keep important things that must be done for another day. You will see that you will have a tremendous feeling of relief and happiness when you get your shit done now, and not procrastinate. You will sleep better.

14. In one ear and out the other. Be Teflon. If someone hurts you or gossips about you, let it roll off of you life Teflon. Who cares? It’s usually jealousy anyways. Smile and move on. Let them gossip, it means you’re important enough for them to think about you. Leave revenge to Lady Karma – don’t get your hands dirty. (Same applies for bad loves and jobs, exes, colleagues, etc)

15. Money, nice things, good sex and food, holidays, etc are all bonuses in life. Be satisfied with the bare minimum, and enjoy when these bonuses come, because they are not the true meaning of life. The good bonuses will be graced upon you, if you know how to be happy with the minimum.

If you are at a balanced and happy state, no matter what hard things life throws at you, you will always be able to deal with it, and not allow it to destroy you! Also if you truly love yourself, then you can properly love someone else. Being in a relationship with a happy person is the best thing that you can give or have. I’ve learned the hard way that true happiness is not an external factor, and can only come from within. Depend on yourself for the happiness, because only you can truly love and give yourself, what you expect others to give you. And if they do, see it as a bonus in life and don’t take it for granted. Do you want to be truly happy? So what’s stopping you? Start now, it’s your own decision and choice!

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Deal with your shit!

Deal with your shit! 1354 437 Galia Brener

Wouldn’t is be so nice to run away from all of your problems and pretend they simply don’t exist? Or imagine making a beautiful black wooden box, filling it up with all of your problems, and then burying it somewhere in the woods, or maybe even burning the box – and POOF, like magic – your problems are gone? Dream on. Unless you deal head on with your problems, they will not disappear. In fact, if you ignore or push them away, they will sneak up on you and hunt you down when you least expect it!

My very good friend Tony is experiencing this problem right now. He and his ex girlfriend broke up about half a year ago. She was and always will be his only true love. He told me many times that she is his soul mate, and he could always be himself only around her. He often told her “I feel at home with you, and you are my family.” She never judged him, and always supported his goals and path in life. He was able to let the child in him out around her, and he felt truly loved and understood only by her. To make a long story short, they broke up for reasons I cannot mention. For him it was like a huge piece of his heart was ripped out of his body, and he was hurting very deeply after the breakup. For her the pain was even more intense. However, both dealt with it in completely different ways. She cried her heart out for months, did lots of sports, got into amazing shape, developed her new business and worked out through the emotional stress and pain. She paid respect to herself, him and the relationship, and didn’t jump onto the next best man to ease her pain. She stayed alone and dealt with the breakup!

Tony on the other hand, did the complete opposite. He couldn’t deal with the pain and being alone, so he jumped onto the “third best” thing. We were all shocked to see whom he chose after his beautiful ex! The new older lady presents him with financial stability, and he is simply “comfortable” using the situation and “parking” with her. There is no deep passion running through his veins, and no blood pumping in his heart, which drives Tony crazy with love – and the sex is not that special either. His pain was masked over at first, but after some months, he found himself thinking more and more about his ex, and missing her a lot! The new lady feels that he still loves his ex, and this drives her crazy! Tony misses his true love, her touch, her smile and scent. He misses her caresses, the passionate kisses, the fun quirky character, the long talks about life and everything else on the planet. She is unlike any other women he ever knew! True love cannot just “disappear” or be substituted by some third-best option. They have been through a lot together, and such a strong bond cannot be easily replaced. I told him, had he dealt with his shit the right way, none of this would be happening. I have pity for her because it hurts very much to know that he will never love her even close to as much as he loves his ex. The new older lady tries to hang onto him with her claws and teeth… but he is slipping away.

“Working out our shit” is not only connected to love problems, but also with everyday life occurrences. For example, if you have a debt to pay out, bills, something hurts you and you haven’t checked it out at the doctor yet, you had a fight with your best friend, get a new job, lose weight, your car sounds strange, or that thing you’ve been meaning to do for years now, finish your taxes, get rid of a phobia, stop smoking or drinking, or whatever it is you need to do and have been pushing away to the side! If you don’t deal with your problems the right way, they will only cause you extreme stress and anxiety. They will sit and eat away at your brain, creating one stressful worry after another! The only way to stop this madness is to get up, take action, and solve your issues! “Action” is the only way to attack and solve problems. The most amazing thing is that once you find your power and courage to simply start, the solution will slowly come to you in the process as well. However, this will only happen if you are willing to take the first step, and take action.

Ladies and gentlemen the best advice I can give you, after falling down myself a few times is: No matter how tough things seem to be, take the first step of action. It’s ok to take baby steps at first, but it’s important to start and not drag things out! Do not burry the pain or hide the problems for a later time, find your courage and deal with your shit ASAP, or else your shit will deal with you! If it deals with you, it may bring with it health issues, stress, illness, anxiety or even paranoia. Life is a bitch, and we must all deal with our own given dosage of shit. So unless we find the courage to take action, we will be left swept aside as “victims” of our problems. And trust me, you don’t want to be a poor victim in life. Pity is handed out for free, and jealousy must be earned!

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