love

Expectations kill relationships!
Expectations kill relationships! 1354 437 Galia Brener

Ladies and gentlemen, what is the best way to kill a relationship? With expectations! – Especially the unreasonable ones. A few weeks ago I was having our usual Sunday brunch with the girls, and the topic of expectations in relationships came up. It was very interesting to see how the opinions in our group varied completely. One girl said that she has absolutely zero expectation towards her boyfriend – no holding doors, no cute texts before bed time, nothing at all. But the other girls did not agree with her. They expected their men to always be attentive, buy them presents, pay for most of their holidays, take them to restaurants and write them nice text messages at least once a day. However, the funny thing is that the only boyfriend who actually did all of these things was the one of the girl that had no expectations of him whatsoever! He did it from his own will, and not because he was “expected” to do so, and that shows his real love.

This made me think: Isn’t it better to expect less, and see all the nice things that come our way simply as “bonuses” in life? This reminds me of a story about my friend Carla. She met a really attractive guy a few months ago – let’s call him “The turtle”. He was almost 2 meters tall, had a body of a Greek God, bright blue eyes that an ocean would be jealous of, and chin-length thick blonde hair. Whenever she was around him, her body would automatically react to his masculine smell. He made her panties wet with just one strong, tight hug! Needless to say, she was head over heels in lust with him. They started seeing each other, and so the “expectations” had begun.

It all started with her complains to me that the turtle didn’t write her enough. He made little time to see her, and when they met, their time was limited. He didn’t introduce her to his friends and family, and they didn’t spend many weekends together. She was being very impatient with the turtle, and it seems like her expectations were building up more and more on top of each other. They dated for about a month but nothing really changed. Carla was getting fed up with the turtle’s lack of initiative and attention, and decided to drop her efforts as well. She didn’t write him anymore, and stopped the “chase” altogether. The crazy thing was that as soon as she cooled off about him, the slow turtle changed gears to the fast lane, and started chasing her! Since she didn’t care so much anymore, all of the expectations and pressure was dropped on her part. And without the expectations, she was surprised to see how much effort was coming from him now! However it was too late because chasing him for over a month was exhausting. Her passion for him burned out and she was not interested anymore.

Where do these relationship-killing expectations come from? The main reason for them is the evil ego of ours, and the bitch called “sense of entitlement”. We believe the things we expect are rightfully ours and we deserve them. “Me, me, me” the ego likes to scream out loud. But who is to say what we deserve or not, because nobody owes us anything in this world. If you get treated well and spoiled by your partner, be appreciative and see it as a kind virtue. The problem is that when these expectations – big or small – are not met, we feel disappointment, which leads to arguments and hurt pride. Here is a simple relationship formula: No expectations = no disappointments.

Of course I am not saying that you have to accept when your partner is being disrespectful, cheap or careless to you. I am referring to the superficial unreasonable expectations. Not only are you putting pressure on him, but on yourself as well. Take it easy, relax and allow him to show you his true colors. Most likely being the gentleman that he is, he will invite you to nice dinners and spoil you a bit, but don’t take that as a given and a must. After you let go of all the expectations, and you still have problems with your partner, you must ask yourself, “Maybe we don’t speak the same love language?” Meaning, maybe you don’t fit well together. At the end of the day, it’s your life, and you must do whatever is good for you. But keep in mind that expectations are a killer for relationships, so the more easy-going you are, the more you shall be open to wonderful and positive surprises. So far for my 33 years, I have learned that somehow life always delivers more when less is expected.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. 1354 437 Galia Brener

Congratulations! You met a great guy who is sweet and wonderful to you. You go out on a few dates, and everything seems to run smoothly. You get the mesmerizing butterflies in your stomach, and feel like you can glide through the silver clouds. Saturday night comes and he takes you out for a delicious romantic dinner. You have a few glasses of wine and feel yourself melting away into paradise. All of a sudden, he mentions something the rips you right out of bliss and throws you violently into hell! Topic? The ex. A few stories are exchanged, and he reveals that he cheated on her. No, “of course” he didn’t mean to. It was no big deal… the love was already over… it was just a kiss, just a finger, just a rub, just fast sex, just whatever. Blah blah – yes you heard correctly. He cheated on her. And of course he would “never” do that to you. Well guess what? Most likely he will: Once a cheater, always a cheater.

My friend Gloria fell for this type of “cheating-gentleman”. They met at an art exhibition at the SCHIRN in front of a piece that he loved, and she hated. He was used to all the girls agreeing with him, so her counter opinion turned him on. Jimmy was very attractive. He was the classical tall, dark and handsome lawyer. Everything on him was made to perfection, and his seemingly friendly, warm smile captivated Gloria from the very first moment. They started dating and she fell head over heels for him in the first week. Everything was going well until she found out from a friend that he once cheated on her best friend. She was shocked but didn’t mention it to him, because she thought with her he will be different, and besides, it was a long time ago. As the months went by, she noticed their time spent together was decreasing. Whenever they were out, he went to the bathroom with his phone, and turned it face down on the table. He had whispered calls, and sometimes didn’t call or text her in the evening and morning. On Saturday he was supposedly sick, so Gloria went to the Kleinmarkthalle to buy him stuff to make a soup. When she arrived at his flat, someone was leaving downstairs and held the door open for her. As she made it to the second floor, she saw Jimmy saying goodbye and kissing a girl that spent the night at his place.

Poor Gloria was devastated, and almost fell down the stairs because her knees were shaking so much. Fucking bastard. Of course he begged and said it didn’t mean anything, and he loved only her. He said it was a one-time deal and would never happen again! He was such a great actor because he even managed to squeeze a few tears out of his cold, lying eyes. Gloria gave him another chance. I pleaded with her not to do it, but she insisted that she loved him so much, and he swore on his life to never cheat on her again. Everything went well for the next half a year, and I was almost beginning to believe that some people really could change. However one day, Gloria found an anonymous letter in her mailbox with a photo inside. The photo depicted Jimmy with a beautiful brunette, having sex in a bathroom of a well-known trendy restaurant in Frankfurt.

This is a horrible feeling, especially if you really love someone. So how do you avoid this in the future? Well, the first and most important thing is your intuition! I like to ask, as a matter of conversation, “Have you ever cheated on a partner?” You’d be surprised how many men have actually answered “yes” to this question! There are also “cheating signs” to pay attention to within the relationship such as: he is spending less time with you, his clothing and style have suddenly or drastically changed, he spends more time in the office “working” later in the evenings, his telephone and Internet habits have changed, he looks – or even worse – flirts with other women, he takes the phone with him everywhere, including the bathroom and turns it face down on the table, he becomes less affectionate with you, the sex decreases, he doesn’t share his thoughts and feelings with you as much as before, he seems withdrawn and less attentive, he takes less interest in your life, he doesn’t talk about his future plans with you, or your common future together at all. Unless he has recently lost his job or made career changes, the signs above may indicate infidelity.

If you have the feeling he is cheating, I would advise you to talk to him about it. Communication and the lack of, will make or break your relationship. Personally for me, cheating is the worse thing that anyone can do in a relationship to hurt me. I cannot and will never tolerate it. Cheating is definitely a deal breaker for me, and I’m not one to give second chances. If marriage and children are involved it might be a different story. Better find yourself a man that will love and adore to be with you, and would do anything to stand by your side. Loyalty is very important for me, and I’m turned off right away when I hear that a man has cheated before. Even if he doesn’t cheat on me, I know that he did so before, and can do it again. I’ve heard too many cases of repeat cheaters, and unfortunately this doesn’t change. If you’re tough enough you can give one chance, but more than one would be absurd. A snake can change its skin, but never it’s personality. If he cheated on his ex with you, he will most likely do the same to you. Think twice dear ladies. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

The fake Prince Charming
The fake Prince Charming 1354 437 Galia Brener

Have you ever met a man and dated him for a while, but when the breakup approached, he seemed to be a completely different person? Can it really be that our Prince Charming is in fact nothing but a cheap pretender? Usually what you see towards the end of a relationship is the true face of the person you have been dating all along. The only difference is that the bubble has been burst, and your rose-tinted glasses have been violently ripped off, revealing a harsh reality that feels like a wet slap on the face!

Is he genuinely who you think he is, or do you imagine him better in your mind than he actually is? From my personal experience, if I really like someone – especially at the beginning – I tend to close my eyes on the small strange things he does or says. We often sell lies to ourselves like, “Oh he didn’t really mean that”, or “It was probably a joke.” Or the best ever, “He won’t do that again for sure.” Well guess what, he will do it many times again, and he did mean it – because he might not actually be the Prince Charming that he’s selling himself to be! That’s why it’s important to pay attention to the small things he does at the beginning, because the truth always comes out. My father uses a great expression, “Measure nine times, but cut only once!” What does it mean in this case? It tells us to get to know a person better before idiotically throwing our heart helplessly at him!

My friend Sharon went through something quite similar a few months ago. She met a guy, and the attraction was instantaneous. They started dating and things moved quite quickly between them. At the beginning, he was the perfect “duplication” of a fairytale gentleman, but after the initial fake-pink-fluffy months were gone, the nauseating truth set in. Some things really bothered her, like him looking at other women, his tone of voice was often rude, along with some respect less comments thrown at her – of course disguised as “jokes.” His lack of generosity and his aggressive mind-games also irritated her, however she never confronted him about these issues! I didn’t understand why she was silent about it, but she said she didn’t want to lose him. As the months passed by, his behavior got worse and worse until one day he heartlessly broke up with her, and didn’t even look back. By then it was already too late because she was insanely in love with him. A few weeks later we found out that he cheated on her during half of their relationship!

Ladies here is a big warning: if you love him blindly, and continue dreaming that he’s your true prince, even though he can be an asshole to you, then you will end up falling flat on your face. Believe me, I’ve been there before. If you notice after a few months of dating that something is wrong with him and his behavior, please do the following:

1. Open up your eyes and ears, listen and observe carefully what he does and how he acts and reacts. How is he around children, animals and elderly people? Is he caring, kind and attentive? Is he compassionate and respectful? Is he trustworthy and generous? Let him do some talking, and listen carefully to what he says. Some of the players can be really good liars, like saying they want to have a family and settle down soon, just to get you to fall for him. Please pay attention when he is off guard, and not in his “trying to get into your pants routine”.

2. Talk to him openly about what bothers you. Don’t be scared that it’s “too soon” for a discussion or that this can jeopardize the new relationship.

3. Clear out the issue with him, and make sure he understands that you don’t like to be treated that way!

4. If he still keeps repeating his moronic behavior, then you have to realize that he is not the Prince Charming you thought he was.

5. Make it or break it, but don’t ignore the warning signs! If you do, they will come back to haunt you at a later time with a vengeance.

Ladies I cannot stress enough how important it is to check him out before serving your heart to him on a silver platter. You don’t want him to eat your heart rare and bloody, and spit out the rest on the floor, do you? I don’t mean to sound cold and calculating, but I would advise you to be smart and choose well! Always remember that actions speak louder than words, so see how his actions are towards you. Everyone can make promises, but deeds are what really count! I do not want to see you getting hurt by a senseless idiot, so please girls, try to open your eyes, and let him show his true intentions for you. If you see that he indeed has long-lasting intentions for you, then you can offer him your heart. By the way, there is nothing wrong with letting him make some effort to get you …

Don’t take your partner for granted!
Don’t take your partner for granted! 1354 437 Galia Brener

The weekend has arrived, and it’s finally time for some fun! You reserve a table at your favorite Italian restaurant, and make yourself pretty for your man. Unfortunately when you leave the house, he doesn’t say anything about how you look. Damn it, another wasted effort. You arrive at your table and order a bottle of wine. After your second glass, you see a couple entering the restaurant holding hands. The handsome man leads his special lady to the table, pulls back her chair and helps her with her coat. While waiting for your food to arrive, you observe them laughing in the most intimate way. After a few minutes the guy leans over, kisses her passionately on the lips, and takes her hand into his. You sigh, turn back to your man and ask, “Baby, why don’t you kiss me like that anymore?” He laughs and says, “Come on, these two have just started dating, can’t you see that?” When their champagne arrives, and you hear the man telling his woman, “Happy 7 year anniversary my love!” You sigh again – deeper and sadder this time. You realize that he is taking you for granted.

This reminds me of Claudia and her ex. When they first met, he was literally Prince Charming out of a fairytale. He took her out to dinner in beautiful places under the starry sky. He wrote her little romantic notes and hid them all over her flat. He would surprise her with flowers and chocolates. He would write her the sweetest good night/morning messages, which was the first thing she saw each day. In return, she also did many wonderful things for him. They were so happy, and it seemed like nothing else existed apart from their love for each other. As time went by, Claudia’s ex started to “get used” to having her around. He stopped giving her compliments, and noticing her effort to look good for him. The sex in their relationship disappeared almost completely, and on their anniversary he didn’t even bother to get her flowers. He took her more and more for granted each passing month. He didn’t pay her much attention, and was irritated when they talked. He was often in a bad mood, and took it out on her. This was extremely painful for Claudia, and she started to back away emotionally from him. Eventually they broke up and a wonderful man appeared in her life, which has been incredibly wonderful to her ever since. Her ex realized what a mistake he made, and tried desperately to get her back. Unfortunately it was too late, because he took her for granted and lost her. He still cannot forget her, because he now understands how much she truly loved him.

What does it mean to take your partner for granted? It means that one does not fully appreciate the other person for what they are, what they do for them, and what they bring into the relationship. It also means that one doesn’t notice the importance of the other, and doesn’t acknowledge the love being given to them. Basically it comes down to the fact that one partner doesn’t really value the other anymore. Unfortunately almost all of us are a bit guilty of taking our partner for granted, without always being aware of this! Think back to when you first met your love, and how amazing the first year was. Remember the fireworks in your stomach, and the way your heart skipped a beat when you thought of them? The more we forget this, the more our love is in danger of dying. It’s time to wake up, become aware, and fix the problem. How, you ask?

Thankfully this is easier to fix than you think! You can start right away by trying this out:

1. Telling her more often how beautiful she is. Or how handsome he is. Compliments in general are very good! Don’t be cheap on the nice words.
2. Buy her flowers more often. Do it for no reason at all, just to let her know you care.
3. Look into her eyes and tell her you love her more often. I promise that it won’t lose its meaning.
4. Don’t flirt, stare or look back at other women. That hurts!
5. Tell him how much you appreciate his help, and of course compliment him and his strength. Never forget “Please” and “Thank you”. Show that his efforts mean a lot to you.
6. No matter how busy you are, make time to spend together, and invite her out for dinner dates, just like when you first started dating.
7. Make as much time for sex as possible. When this is neglected, your partner automatically feels unwanted and unattractive.
8. Never stop the kissing! It’s not called the “French Kiss” for nothing. It keeps the passion going.
9. Pay attention to each other when speaking. Listen and help. Be there for your partner through ups and downs, by being their best friend!
10. Do not cheat. This is the beginning of the end.
11. Don’t just take from your partner, give back as well! Show your appreciation with deeds.
12. If she’s sick, be there for her. Be empathetic, understanding and caring.
13. If he has stress at work or with his family, lay him down on your lap and caress him. Sometimes a soothing massage is better than words. Show him you care about what’s going on in his life.
13. Have fun! Like in the beginning, go on spontaneous dates, trips, get drunk together and sing underneath the moon. Do something wild and mischievous together.
14. Don’t snap at each other, or use nasty tones. Control your temper, and show respect – especially while arguing. Do not take your bad mood or anger out on your partner.
15. Send her a short romantic SMS during the day. Leave a naughty post-it in his gym bag.
16. Get each other small gifts for no special reason – just to show your appreciation.
17. Do something that maybe you don’t necessarily like, but you know it pleases your partner – like going to the opera, or on a romantic hotel weekend.
18. Help each other with the housework. Sing or dance while doing it, its super fun!
19. Cook something delicious for him. A well-fed man is a happy man.
20. Give her enough attention! Women are like flowers – give them attention and they blossom!

Gentlemen don’t forgot that there are many wonderful men out there who would be more than glad to make your woman happy and give her what you don’t! Same goes the other way around for women. Take a few minutes and think when was the last time you did something from the 20 points above. I always say that it’s never too late to change and make your relationship better. If this love is special, then make sure you do all you can to keep it happy and healthy.

Want to heal your broken heart?
Want to heal your broken heart? 1354 437 Galia Brener

Like I always say, love is a bitch. She mysteriously appears out of no where, forces herself into your nicely balanced life, punches you in the face until you are drunk enough not to know anything anymore, and makes you helplessly addicted to her high. Unfortunately this bitch also has the habit of disappearing, leaving you with a half-beating shattered heart, and a painful anxiety that you would not even wish upon the devil himself. This is a very serious issue, and I will be quite harsh in this article. It’s about survival, and the necessity to heal and move on.

A few months ago, I met up with the girls for a delicious Sunday brunch. The door to the restaurant opened, and Jilli walked in, looking very upset. Her eyes were swollen, and she looked like she was about to collapse at any second. I felt my heart skip a beat because I knew something was very wrong. She looked up at us, her beautiful turquoise eyes filled with tears, and said, “We broke up.” I almost spilled my hot coffee allover myself. Jilli and her now “ex” boyfriend were our example that true love really does exist. We considered them to be the “perfect couple”, and deeply in love. My sunny-side up eggs arrived, but I couldn’t eat them. I took a bite, and felt the egg sticking to my throat. I asked her what happened. This question made Jilli’s tears roll violently down her face, and she told us that he didn’t want to commit to her. He didn’t want to marry or have a family with her. He said he wasn’t ready, and didn’t know if he ever would be. But she was not even pressuring him to marry her now! She said they were fighting a lot lately, because she was seeking his attention and love, and he was pushing her away. Not only that, he became vicious to her lately, and was saying and doing things that really hurt her. How could this asshole betray such a special love? Poor Jilli, she was so sure that he was her soulmate. She never loved another human being like she loved him.

She asked me what to do, because she knows my story from many years ago. I’ve had my heart brutally destroyed once as well. Like Jilli, I thought that my world was demolished, and what I loved was being ripped out of my body alive. Months went by, and the pain did not subside. One day while crying in the kitchen, something strange happened; for a millisecond, I felt deep inside myself that if I wont finally deal with this crap, it will deal with me – in a very bad way. Constant painful emotions can lead to physical illness. The hard truth is that nobody needs a sick person. This brought out the fear, and self-protection in me, and I finally woke up. I entered survival-mode.

How did I heal my broken heart? I started loving myself more than I loved him. That’s it. That’s the secret. What does this mean? It means that soulmate or not, you have to take all the love you have for him, and turn it upon yourself, because you must survive this terror. You have no other choice, because if you don’t switch survival-mode on, this pain might destroy you. I have seen people turning to angry bitter monsters because of broken hearts. I have even heard of people falling into deep helpless depressions, and not coming out of it for years! Is that what you want? To be stuck in hell for years obsessing about some jerk that didn’t even think you were worthy enough to stay together with? That’s abandonment and betrayal, and such a person is not entitled to your love – you are the one who deserves your love now, so make the switch.

Loving yourself more means living for yourself. Take the first few months to be selfish by doing what you want, and when you want it. Your friends and family will understand if you explain to them. Learn to say “No” to others. Loving yourself is also controlling yourself – your thoughts and emotions. As soon as you think of how you miss him, counteract the thought with a thought of a bad thing that he did to you. Remember the bad stuff? It was not only rainbows. Loving yourself is being strong. You can cry for some weeks, but one day you have to get up, find your courage and start respecting yourself again. Loving yourself means fighting for yourself to become happy again. It means not letting yourself sink in the misery of your negative and depressive feelings. If he was weak and didn’t fight for you, doesn’t mean that you also have to be weak and not fight for yourself. If you have a dog or a child, would you allow someone to hurt them, while standing and watching? No! You would jump in, and save them from this evil. Well, imagine yourself jumping in and saving yourself. That’s what you have to do now, save yourself.

Life is too damn short to cry over idiots who take us for granted, don’t appreciate us, and actually do not even deserve us. Never ever give your power away by letting someone bring you down so low, that you cannot feel “happiness” anymore. How the hell does he still deserve love from you after hurting you like that? You deserve your own love now. By rolling around in your broken-hearted misery, you are actually hurting yourself – just like he did to you! That’s psychologically wrong, and doesn’t make any sense. Think about it… ♥

Where is he already?!
Where is he already?! 1354 437 Galia Brener

It’s Saturday afternoon and you decide to spend some hard-earned money on a little treat for yourself. As you wander through the city, you can’t help but notice the couples everywhere. Every few meters you see them walking happy, as if these bloody lovers are on a mission to show off in front of you today. The handholding, the smiles and whispers, the shared secrets, the kissing and the passion. Is it your imagination, or does it seem like everyone in the fucking city is in love, and you’re left out? Damn it, where is he already? As you feel a tug on your heart the only way to fill that hole, at this very moment, is to make that “little” present for yourself not “so little.” You end up coming home with expensive shoes, or a new exhaust pipe for your Harley. It makes you feel happy… but maybe for about a week.

There is a rumor going around about a mysterious lady called Destiny. Apparently they say that when she decides the time is right, she sends you love. Sometimes you must go through hell and suffering, while gaining life lessons to be prepared for true love. Other times you have a mission to accomplish before the right one comes. Either way, Madame Destiny calls the shots, and therefore this tough bitch is not to be outsmarted. However, there is a way to make the waiting process easier. As hard as it is, it helps to stay busy and positive. Regardless of what you went through in the past, and we have all gone through some evil crap, you cannot let that get you down. No matter what love tragedy happened to you before, never ever take it with you into the present and future. You must let the past go, or else it can destroy you, and leave you stuck in the darkness. Bitterness and anger repels good people away. So please don’t do your ex a favor by staying bitter. You must fight these sad heavy feelings and force yourself to be happy and positive. After all, happiness is a choice!

This reminds me of Natalia’s story. She had been single for years after her boyfriend left her. She thought that he was the love of her life, and they will get married and have a family. Unfortunately, the fairytale died. Carrying a broken heart shattered in a million tiny pieces, she tried to find a new love for some years after, but without much luck. What I admire about Nat is that no matter how difficult her dating life was, she never gave up! She always said, “Gali my time will come, and I will also have true love.” Unbelievable to see how convinced she was, especially after such a devastating breakup. Her 40th birthday arrived, and at 12am, she raised her champagne glass and drank, “To love.” Nat’s two close girlfriends, happily married, were feeling sad for her. They couldn’t understand why such a wonderful woman was still single.

The next morning, hung over and depressed like hell from all the marriage talk, Natalia went to buy some food. She felt and looked like what the cat dragged home last night, with messy hair and puffy eyes, wearing leggings and sneakers. She walked out of the dessert isle with a jar of strawberry jam in her hand, and all of a sudden, BAMM! Some guy bumped into her. She dropped the jar, and the jam splashed all over her shoes, her bag, and the floor looked like thick red blood was splattered all over it. “Jesus! Can’t you watch where the hell you’re………Oh…” She looked up and saw the guy smiling mischievously at her, with a cute guilty look on his face. Half of his jeans were covered in jam as well. They laughed, he apologized, and invited her for dinner to make up for the sweet mess. One thing led to another, they got married, and Nat had her first child now at 42. Amazing right? How did this happen you ask? Well, Natalia believed in love – against all odds!

What works is to be 100% assured that you deserve to be happily in love. You must be completely convinced that true love is out there and will soon be yours. Why the hell should these grey mice you see walking with amazing men, holding hands, have love and not you? If they find a partner, then so can you! Head up and stand tall, knowing that yours is coming too. You must have complete and unconditional faith. Not thinking, “Oh it’s been so long, I give up. I will never find love.” WRONG! Such thoughts will never ever attract love in your direction. Lady Destiny doesn’t like when people feel negative like this. If you don’t feel that you deserve love, then why should it come to you? Change your thoughts immediately, and things around you will change as well. Make a little experiment, and try it out.

Call it craziness or the sixth sense, but I feel that many will meet their life partner this year. A little tip for attracting love: buy yourself a piece of jewelry with rose quartz. Whether it’s a bracelet, ring, necklace or anything else, make sure that the stone touches your skin. Rose quartz increases self-confidence, opens your heart to love, and helps to heal past pain. The best part is that rose quartz attracts new love into your life. I highly recommend wearing this stone everyday. Meanwhile, keep yourself busy. Go out with your friends and dance without looking around for someone to meet, enjoy your hobbies, spend time with your family, discover new food and restaurants, read more, go to galleries, travel, work, get a pet, spend money on yourself, and simply enjoy living – being grateful that you are healthy and alive. And above all, please stay positive and keep the faith, no matter how hard it is! Love will come when you least expect it… I promise you this. It always does.

Can love exist between a vegan and a meat-eater?
Can love exist between a vegan and a meat-eater? 1354 437 Galia Brener

2014 will be a wonderful year. It feels like it’s a new beginning for many wonderful things. I see that people are becoming aware of their health, relationships, ideologies and even values are changing positively. This is the beginning of a new era where humans are not just taking, but also finally giving back to each other and the world. Lately what has been catching my eye is the fact that many of my friends have been adopting the vegetarian and vegan lifestyle. So what does this mean for relationships? Since this is quite an important change for people, can love exist between a vegan and a meat-eater?

A few weeks ago, my friend Heather met a great guy. She was so happy that after years of dating players, freaks and jerks, this might finally be “The One”! They met for drinks the following weeks and had a wonderful time talking about life, adventures, goals and dreams. Heather was incredibly happy and felt the butterflies flinging themselves wildly in her stomach. On Saturday evening, Mr. Perfect invited her over to his house for dinner. She put her prettiest dress on and floated over to his place, her heart racing and a smile permanently attached to her face.

When Heather arrived, she noticed the effort that he put into this date. The lights were dimmed, the candles flickering, the sensual music vibrating throughout the house, and the table was set to perfection – with delicious salads, dips, breads, and a bottle of wine for the perfect mood. They ate and drank, and Heather felt herself floating away to paradise. Mr. Perfect stood up, and announced, “Now comes the best part of the dinner!” and went into the kitchen. After some minutes she smelled a horrible stench. It was the unmistakable odor of grilled flesh. She walked into the kitchen and saw her strong, handsome man frying two huge pieces of meat. He turned around and flashed her the warmest, heart-melting smile she has ever seen. “Hey baby, look what I made for you. The nicest piece of Wagyu beef I could find in the market!” He put the meat on a plate and cut it in half. The blood oozed grotesquely from of the steak, and the meat was floating amidst the fat and blood on the plate. Heather’s stomach turned and she almost threw up all over him. It was not his fault, and he was just trying to please her in his way. He was so charming, and it felt like his bright blue eyes were burning into her heart. Damn. She was in love with him already. Heather smiled uncomfortably and said, “I forgot to tell you. I’m vegan.”

What the hell should Heather do now, should she stop dating him because he eats meat? Could she ever be together with a person that doesn’t understand her need to protect animals and her own body? How will they cook together? How will she stand those bloody steaks in front of her face again? Stop. Let me introduce you to someone. She’s a mysterious lady that knows no limits. She does what she wants, and when she wants it. She knows no religion, race, size or shape, and she definitely doesn’t care about meat, grains or vegetables! Her name is Love, and she is a tricky bitch.

However mad she is, Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. Thankfully there are ways to deal with her and your food preferences: 1. Communication. 2. Compromise. 3. Tolerance. Talk to your partner about how you feel, what you prefer, what your views are about health, animal rights, cruelty and so on. Be patient while explaining your point of view. Never express yourself with anger or force, otherwise you overstep the boundaries of becoming a fanatic, and may even push your other vegan friends away. It’s about respect and harmony, and not force and anger. After you communicate how you feel, and also hear out their opinion, you can make a compromising step together. How about cooking vegan at home, and eating meat outside? She can go out with the girls and eat all of the meat her heart desires. You can show her your world and cook a delicious vegan meal for her at home, or take her to your favorite vegan restaurant. Gently introduce your partner into your meat-free world, but never ever force them to change their habits and opinions. It will only push them further away from you! Don’t ask your vegan partner to prepare meat for you, because that could make them feel very uncomfortable. Last but not least is tolerance. Discuss this issue, accept each other’s choices, and do not try to change your partner! We live in 2014, and not in the middle ages where they burned witches for eating herbs – pun intended. You want to be accepted for your choices, so do that same with others. Let him eat his sashimi in peace, and get over it. I think that we should not make a big deal about what our partners eat. After all, isn’t it about freedom of choice and respecting that?

True love is not that easy to come by these days, therefore one must be downright insane to let a good person go because of what they eat. We have enough love crap to deal with as it is, so why not relax and just enjoy life and love as it is? We humans are really good at making our own life unnecessarily complicated. Instead of having meat-fights, spend more time kissing, cuddling, making love, enjoying mind-blowing orgasms, holding your lover close to your heart, and building a future together, rather than creating moronic boundaries. The progress is enormous, but there is still enough cruelty to battle within the world right now, so are we really going to allow meat or vegetables to divide us even further?

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