Did a cheater break your heart?

Did a cheater break your heart? 1200 400 Galia Brener

Like I always say, love is a bitch. She mysteriously appears out of no where, forces herself into your nicely balanced life, punches you in the face until you are drunk enough not to know anything anymore and makes you helplessly addicted to her high. Unfortunately this bitch also has the habit of disappearing, leaving you with a half-beating shattered heart, and a painful anxiety that you would not even wish upon the devil himself. This is a very serious issue and I will be quite harsh in this article. It’s about survival and the necessity to heal and move on.


A few months ago, I met up with the girls for a delicious Sunday brunch. The door to the restaurant opened, and Jilli walked in, looking very upset. Her eyes were swollen, and she looked like she was about to collapse at any second. I felt my heart skip a beat because I knew something was very wrong. She looked up at us, her beautiful turquoise eyes filled with tears, and said, “We broke up.” I almost spilled my hot coffee allover myself. Jilli and her now “ex” boyfriend were our example that true love really does exist. My sunny-side up eggs arrived, but I couldn’t eat them. I took a bite and felt the egg sticking to my throat. I asked her what happened. This question made Jilli’s tears roll violently down her face, and she told us that he cheated on her in the cruelest way. It was emotional and psychological cheating. (Maybe even physical cheating, but she didn’t know for sure, because he was a liar!) He was chatting to other women on WhatsApp. He was also sending photo albums and writing love letters to his ex – saying what a good couple they still were, how much he missed her, was thinking about her and even crying because of these memories! He wrote the cheating letter a few hours before entering Jilli’s bed and having sex with her! He didn’t tell Jilli about this, he kept it a dark secret. How sick and cruel!


How could this person betray such a special love? She was ready to marry him and have his children. If the ex wouldn’t forward Jilli this email, she would never know that she was living with a betraying cheater! He had a long disgusting history of cheating. Actually he cheated on all his girlfriends, but Jilli thought that with her it would be different. She was terribly wrong! When Jilli confronted him about the cheating, he played the sick helpless victim role, saying how much he loved her, promising her lies in the air that he will never do it again, that he wants to marry her and she’s the only one for him! He even involved her mother, her best friend and his mother in his sick games! Blah, blah, blah, he said the same lying shit to his exes before. He said that he learned from his mistake, yet he did the same thing to Jilli! He said an emotional situation in the family made him write this email. Pathetic excuse! So what would happen now? Every time he had an emotional situation in his life, Jilli should be afraid that he would cheat on her again? She doesn’t need a weak man without a backbone! A snake doesn’t change its personality. I told Jilli, “Once a cheater, always a cheater!”


She asked me what to do, because she knows my story from many years ago. I’ve had my heart brutally destroyed once as well. Like Jilli, I thought that my world was demolished, and what I loved was being ripped out of my body alive. Months went by, and the pain did not subside. One day while crying in the kitchen, something strange happened; for a millisecond, I felt deep inside myself that if I wont finally deal with this crap, it will deal with me – in a very bad way. Constant painful emotions can lead to physical illness. The hard truth is that nobody needs a sick person. This brought out the fear, and self-protection in me, and I finally woke up. I entered survival-mode.


How did I heal my broken heart? I started loving myself more than I loved him. That’s it. That’s the trick. What does this mean? It means that soulmate or not, you have to take all the love you have for him, and turn it upon yourself, because you must survive this terror. You have no other choice, because if you don’t switch survival-mode on, this pain might destroy you. I have seen people turning to angry bitter monsters because of broken hearts. I have even heard of people falling into deep helpless depressions and not coming out of it for years! Is that what you want? To be stuck in hell for years obsessing about some jerk that cheated and doesn’t deserve you? That’s abandonment and betrayal and such a person is not entitled to your love – you are the one who deserves your love now!


Loving yourself more means living for yourself. Take the first few months to be selfish by doing what you want and when you want it. Your friends and family will understand if you explain to them. Learn to say “No” to others. Loving yourself is also controlling yourself – your thoughts and emotions. As soon as you think of how you miss him, counteract the thought with a thought of a bad thing that he did to you. Remember the bad stuff? It was not only rainbows. Loving yourself is being strong! You can cry for some weeks, but one day you have to get up, find your courage and start respecting yourself again. Loving yourself means fighting for yourself to become happy again. It means not letting yourself sink in the misery of your negative and depressive feelings. If he was weak and didn’t fight for you, doesn’t mean that you also have to be weak and not fight for yourself. If you have a dog or a child, would you allow someone to hurt them, while standing and watching? No! You would jump in, and save them from this evil. Well, imagine yourself jumping in and saving yourself. That’s what you have to do now, save yourself.


Life is too damn short to cry over idiots who take us for granted, cheat on us, don’t appreciate us and actually do not even deserve us. Never ever give your power away by letting someone bring you down so low, that you cannot feel “happiness” anymore. How the hell does he still deserve love from you after hurting you like that? He doesn’t deserve it and never will again. You deserve your own love now! ♥




The fake Prince Charming

The fake Prince Charming 1354 437 Galia Brener

Have you ever met a man and dated him for a while, but when the breakup approached, he seemed to be a completely different person? Can it really be that our Prince Charming is in fact nothing but a cheap pretender? Usually what you see towards the end of a relationship is the true face of the person you have been dating all along. The only difference is that the bubble has been burst, and your rose-tinted glasses have been violently ripped off, revealing a harsh reality that feels like a wet slap on the face!

Is he genuinely who you think he is, or do you imagine him better in your mind than he actually is? From my personal experience, if I really like someone – especially at the beginning – I tend to close my eyes on the small strange things he does or says. We often sell lies to ourselves like, “Oh he didn’t really mean that”, or “It was probably a joke.” Or the best ever, “He won’t do that again for sure.” Well guess what, he will do it many times again, and he did mean it – because he might not actually be the Prince Charming that he’s selling himself to be! That’s why it’s important to pay attention to the small things he does at the beginning, because the truth always comes out. My father uses a great expression, “Measure nine times, but cut only once!” What does it mean in this case? It tells us to get to know a person better before idiotically throwing our heart helplessly at him!

My friend Sharon went through something quite similar a few months ago. She met a guy, and the attraction was instantaneous. They started dating and things moved quite quickly between them. At the beginning, he was the perfect “duplication” of a fairytale gentleman, but after the initial fake-pink-fluffy months were gone, the nauseating truth set in. Some things really bothered her, like him looking at other women, his tone of voice was often rude, along with some respect less comments thrown at her – of course disguised as “jokes.” His lack of generosity and his aggressive mind-games also irritated her, however she never confronted him about these issues! I didn’t understand why she was silent about it, but she said she didn’t want to lose him. As the months passed by, his behavior got worse and worse until one day he heartlessly broke up with her, and didn’t even look back. By then it was already too late because she was insanely in love with him. A few weeks later we found out that he cheated on her during half of their relationship!

Ladies here is a big warning: if you love him blindly, and continue dreaming that he’s your true prince, even though he can be an asshole to you, then you will end up falling flat on your face. Believe me, I’ve been there before. If you notice after a few months of dating that something is wrong with him and his behavior, please do the following:

1. Open up your eyes and ears, listen and observe carefully what he does and how he acts and reacts. How is he around children, animals and elderly people? Is he caring, kind and attentive? Is he compassionate and respectful? Is he trustworthy and generous? Let him do some talking, and listen carefully to what he says. Some of the players can be really good liars, like saying they want to have a family and settle down soon, just to get you to fall for him. Please pay attention when he is off guard, and not in his “trying to get into your pants routine”.

2. Talk to him openly about what bothers you. Don’t be scared that it’s “too soon” for a discussion or that this can jeopardize the new relationship.

3. Clear out the issue with him, and make sure he understands that you don’t like to be treated that way!

4. If he still keeps repeating his moronic behavior, then you have to realize that he is not the Prince Charming you thought he was.

5. Make it or break it, but don’t ignore the warning signs! If you do, they will come back to haunt you at a later time with a vengeance.

Ladies I cannot stress enough how important it is to check him out before serving your heart to him on a silver platter. You don’t want him to eat your heart rare and bloody, and spit out the rest on the floor, do you? I don’t mean to sound cold and calculating, but I would advise you to be smart and choose well! Always remember that actions speak louder than words, so see how his actions are towards you. Everyone can make promises, but deeds are what really count! I do not want to see you getting hurt by a senseless idiot, so please girls, try to open your eyes, and let him show his true intentions for you. If you see that he indeed has long-lasting intentions for you, then you can offer him your heart. By the way, there is nothing wrong with letting him make some effort to get you …

Privacy / Datenschutz Preferences 

When you visit our website, it may store information through your browser from specific services, usually in the form of cookies. Here you can change your Privacy preferences. It is worth noting that blocking some types of cookies may impact your experience on our website and the services we are able to offer.

Click to enable/disable Google Fonts.
Click to enable/disable Google Maps.
Click to enable/disable video embeds.
See our Privacy Policy / Datenschutz here:
Our website uses cookies, mainly from 3rd party services. Define your Privacy Preferences and/or agree to our use of cookies.