ego

Gali, the Tinder police.
Gali, the Tinder police. 1354 437 Galia Brener

Dear cheaters, I’m sorry to have to do this, but you had enough of selfish dirty “fun” on the side. It’s time to bring the darkness out to face the light. Actually I’m not sorry at all for doing this. For those that know me well, know that I’m a warrior of love, and absolutely despise cheating. I think it’s the most cowardly thing to do when in a relationship. It’s egotistical, weak and extremely unkind! The act of cheating shows that a person has zero respect and compassion towards their partner and themselves. Thank you Tinder, for showing us who these people are.

During my few months on Tinder, I was astonished to see how many men are on there that are married or have wonderful girlfriends, which I know! I have discovered many men, from advertising agencies owners, to hotel, club and restaurant owners, to “kind” doctors, teachers and other “humanitarians” – all cheaters, without a soul or care about the pain they cause their partners. And it’s not only the men. There are exactly as many women cheaters on Tinder, trying to pull a few nasty orgasms on the side, while their husbands are away on business trips, working hard to bring home some money and give them a good life! What the hell is happening to this world? Are there no more morals, values and loyalty out there? I’ve always been old-fashioned, but have I missed the moment where fidelity became a thing of the past? Is it not cool anymore to be faithful to one partner, or has the world become so narcissistic that we need to have sex with 5 people at the same time, including our partner, just to prove to ourselves that we are still hot and wanted? I don’t get it, and I don’t even want to know, because I think it’s horrible and cruel. Ladies and gentlemen, we are moving further into the future, but it’s really time to bring back some solid old values. If you can’t be faithful, then don’t be in a relationship. Basta.

Another person I discovered on Tinder last week was the boyfriend of a very good friend of mine, Michelle. She’s a kind, wonderful, beautiful, intelligent and funny woman. Any guy should be happy and proud to have her by his side – except her asshole man, who I caught surfing Tinder shamelessly, looking to sleep around. I was there when Michelle met her guy some years ago, at a beautiful gala in Frankfurt. They laid eyes on each other, and she thought that he’s “The One”. They planned a wonderful future together, and she was waiting for the ring and proposal any day now. Last month they bought a flat in Westend together. It’s a flat to die for, but unfortunately those walls will not be hearing Michelle’s laughter. Instead of being the Wonderful-“One”-till-death-do-you-part, he turned out to be “The One” who bitterly hurt and humiliated her. Why buy a 1.7-Million Euro flat in Frankfurt for your happy life together, and then cheat on Tinder? The crazy thing is that two women sent me an email yesterday, saying that they have been “dating” this same greasy coward at the same time! What a mess!

This is how you can find out if your “loving” partner is cheating on you on Tinder (for both men and women). If you truly trust your partner, then don’t do it. If you feel something is fishy, then try it. I must warn you, be careful what you look for, because those who seek often find. The truth is not always nice.

1. Create a fake account on Facebook
2. Upload some beautiful photos (not of you of course) – make sure they look real and are not model/campaign photos.
3. Download Tinder, and create a profile.
4. Swipe, swipe, swipe, until you either find your partner or not. It’s a game of Russian roulette. You might be one of the lucky ones that have a good love on your side, who still has morals and is faithful.
5. If you do find your partner, click the match heart.
6. If s/he doesn’t click the match heart back, at least you now know that they are on Tinder.
7. If you get a “match” with your partner, then make a date with them, and give them a surprise from hell – where they are from.
8. This is a rough test, but it’s better to find out sooner than later. Always know that you deserve the best, and should have someone in your life that truly loves you, and wants to be only with you!

Even if these people are not meeting anyone on Tinder for sex, and are just “testing the waters”, this is actually the beginning of the end. If you think there’s something better out there for you, don’t waste your partner’s time and drag them along, while you’re “window shopping” for someone else! This is cruel and shameful. Let me remind the cheaters once again that Lady Karma is out there, and likes to get her revengeful claws deep into the flesh, digging out the heart and guts, full of dirty blood and tears. Cruelty will not go unpunished. If one causes pain to others, then it will come back to them – but much worse. So be aware. Karma doesn’t miss anyone. Sometimes it takes days or years, but she always manages to get her job done! So, liar liar pants on fire – get your ass off of Tinder, build up some courage, and do the decent human thing – talk to your partner and straighten things out! Either you are faithful or breakup, but don’t destroy a good person just because of your disgusting selfish need for cheap fast sex.

Run away from the Narcissist!
Run away from the Narcissist! 1354 437 Galia Brener

Ladies and gentlemen, there is a certain predator among us. He’s the charming, funny one trying to win over your friends with his false charm, making them think he’s the best guy in the world! Or she’s that seemingly sweet girl that smiles like a sunshine and later sucks your energy and money faster than you can say, “What the fu…?” Beware of this deceiving type of person, because they are good at hiding their true face! By the time you find out who they really are, it’s too late because their tentacles are deep in your heart, and the damage is done.

My close friend Jilli was dating such a narcissist for almost two years. At the beginning it was really like Heaven on Earth. They were inseparable, and spent every minute they had together. She was madly in love with him, and convinced that Leo was her best friend and soulmate. However, he painfully betrayed her the first time by leaving her in her weakest moment, when she needed her best friend the most. But he crawled back, and she forgave him. Then he “seemed” caring and loving again, but things started changing. Jilli took off her rose-tinted glasses and realized that Leo was not the man who he initially presented himself to be. He started showing his true colors, which included being extremely selfish and egoistic. He was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive, as well as very moody and unbalanced. He was short-tempered, and unloaded his daily frustrations on her. The meaner he was to her, the more Jilli gave love and attention to him, trying to make him happy and kind again. But the more she gave, the worse he became towards her. She realized that the sweet and caring Leo was only a figment of her imagination, and did not exist! One day after sending her out of bed, and letting his dog takeover her spot in bed, Jilli decided that Leo will not hurt her anymore! She left him, and he quickly moved onto the next victim. Narcissists will even take second-best leftovers to date after a breakup, because they are weak and can never be alone.

There is a mental disorder called “Narcissistic Personality Disorder” or NPD, and it’s a very serious problem. Please stay away from these people at all costs, because they will end up damaging you! Here are the main points to see if you’re dating a narcissist:

1. They need admiration and attention all the time! This person is usually quite insecure and fishes for compliments a lot. They are also suckers for flattery.

2. Arrogant and haughty. S/he can be very mean and rude without any reason.

3. They believe that they are special, privileged and simply better than the rest of the world, giving them a grandiose feeling of superiority and self-importance.

4. They lack empathy, and are unable to identify with the needs and feelings of others. They need your emotions to feed their inflated ego!

5. Envious of others, and have the intense feeling that others are envious of them.

6. Have the constant sick desire for unlimited power and success.

7. Always look what their advantage in any relationship/friendship is.

8. They have a need to always be in control of themselves and others.

9. They think that they are always right, and know everything. While the others have no clue and are not intelligent as they are, making them intolerant to the views of others.

10. They laugh and make jokes about others so that they feel better about themselves.

11. When it gets tough, they leave. They won’t stay with you during a tough phase when you need their help. This also includes when you are sick. If you need help, the attention is taken away from them and given to you. This makes them not in the center of attention anymore, so they leave.

12. Excessively charming. Too much and too soon. They desperately try to impress you and your friends so much that it seems too good to be true – and it is. It’s not genuine. They project their “False-Self”, which is everything they are not!

Narcissists do not seek therapy because they don’t believe that they have a problem. Since they think they are the best, why would they need therapy? Of course most of them do not realize how much damage they are causing themselves and others. The biggest problem is that they are not good at producing their own emotions, so they need yours to live on! What’s even worse is that they feed on both positive and negative emotions, which is their ego food, or known as their “Narcissistic Supply” – much like the supply or fix a junkie needs to stay high. Their feeding on negative emotions will drain you of your energy, positivity, happiness and hope! They are insatiable, and always need more of your emotions to live on. In my opinion, they are disgusting parasites that feed on good people. Just a friendly warning from my personal experience, if you ever meet a narcissist, run very far away from them – it will save your life!

Expectations kill relationships!
Expectations kill relationships! 1354 437 Galia Brener

Ladies and gentlemen, what is the best way to kill a relationship? With expectations! – Especially the unreasonable ones. A few weeks ago I was having our usual Sunday brunch with the girls, and the topic of expectations in relationships came up. It was very interesting to see how the opinions in our group varied completely. One girl said that she has absolutely zero expectation towards her boyfriend – no holding doors, no cute texts before bed time, nothing at all. But the other girls did not agree with her. They expected their men to always be attentive, buy them presents, pay for most of their holidays, take them to restaurants and write them nice text messages at least once a day. However, the funny thing is that the only boyfriend who actually did all of these things was the one of the girl that had no expectations of him whatsoever! He did it from his own will, and not because he was “expected” to do so, and that shows his real love.

This made me think: Isn’t it better to expect less, and see all the nice things that come our way simply as “bonuses” in life? This reminds me of a story about my friend Carla. She met a really attractive guy a few months ago – let’s call him “The turtle”. He was almost 2 meters tall, had a body of a Greek God, bright blue eyes that an ocean would be jealous of, and chin-length thick blonde hair. Whenever she was around him, her body would automatically react to his masculine smell. He made her panties wet with just one strong, tight hug! Needless to say, she was head over heels in lust with him. They started seeing each other, and so the “expectations” had begun.

It all started with her complains to me that the turtle didn’t write her enough. He made little time to see her, and when they met, their time was limited. He didn’t introduce her to his friends and family, and they didn’t spend many weekends together. She was being very impatient with the turtle, and it seems like her expectations were building up more and more on top of each other. They dated for about a month but nothing really changed. Carla was getting fed up with the turtle’s lack of initiative and attention, and decided to drop her efforts as well. She didn’t write him anymore, and stopped the “chase” altogether. The crazy thing was that as soon as she cooled off about him, the slow turtle changed gears to the fast lane, and started chasing her! Since she didn’t care so much anymore, all of the expectations and pressure was dropped on her part. And without the expectations, she was surprised to see how much effort was coming from him now! However it was too late because chasing him for over a month was exhausting. Her passion for him burned out and she was not interested anymore.

Where do these relationship-killing expectations come from? The main reason for them is the evil ego of ours, and the bitch called “sense of entitlement”. We believe the things we expect are rightfully ours and we deserve them. “Me, me, me” the ego likes to scream out loud. But who is to say what we deserve or not, because nobody owes us anything in this world. If you get treated well and spoiled by your partner, be appreciative and see it as a kind virtue. The problem is that when these expectations – big or small – are not met, we feel disappointment, which leads to arguments and hurt pride. Here is a simple relationship formula: No expectations = no disappointments.

Of course I am not saying that you have to accept when your partner is being disrespectful, cheap or careless to you. I am referring to the superficial unreasonable expectations. Not only are you putting pressure on him, but on yourself as well. Take it easy, relax and allow him to show you his true colors. Most likely being the gentleman that he is, he will invite you to nice dinners and spoil you a bit, but don’t take that as a given and a must. After you let go of all the expectations, and you still have problems with your partner, you must ask yourself, “Maybe we don’t speak the same love language?” Meaning, maybe you don’t fit well together. At the end of the day, it’s your life, and you must do whatever is good for you. But keep in mind that expectations are a killer for relationships, so the more easy-going you are, the more you shall be open to wonderful and positive surprises. So far for my 33 years, I have learned that somehow life always delivers more when less is expected.

My name is EGO, your killer!
My name is EGO, your killer! 1354 437 Galia Brener

Hello, my name is Ego, and I am here to destroy your relationships. I am your best friend, and in fact, I am you! Let me teach you our rules: you better damn know that we are always right! They hurt us, so we must punish them by becoming distant, cold, and letting them suffer. Let’s stay mad, and not talk to them for a few days, see how they feel about that! That will teach them a big lesson, and make them crawl back to us, begging for forgiveness. I am the best, smartest, most intelligent, fantastic thing that exists. I am the EGO after all! My way of doing things is always the best. Everyone must do things my way, because I am a control freak! I must warn you about our enemy “Love”. Being your ego, I want what’s best for you. I take care of you, and make sure you are always protected against the enemy. Love is very tricky. Love always wants me to listen to the other side of the story, and also admit when I am wrong! Can you believe it?! Love requires a strange thing called “compromising”. It’s totally beneath me. I do not do compromising since my opinion is the right one, why should I agree with anyone else? They must only agree with me! If Love doesn’t understand that, then she can drown herself in the toilet. I will be happy to push the handle and watch her flush down, where she belongs. My name is EGO, and I am the only one who truly cares about you. I want the best for you! I adore always saying “I”, since “I” am the center of the Universe!

Sounds funny right? Unfortunately, that’s what happens in the minds of most people, including yours. Maybe not to such a drastic extent, but everyone’s Ego has gotten in the way of their happiness, at least once in their lives.

My friend Cindy told me a story about her boyfriend. They loved each other very much. Unfortunately after a few months, both started having problems with their jobs. This stressed them out, and made them fight. They had long talks, and Cindy realized what her mistakes were. She wanted to compromise and make the necessary steps to heal the relationship. She loved him more than the air she breathed. He continued to be cold and distant, even though she made such a huge effort to come towards him, and understand him. She opened her heart to him, and explained why these problems occurred, because she waned them to find a path together for the future. Cindy managed to step over her ego, and did all she could to save the relationship. His mistakes also created problems and fights, but he wouldn’t admit it. With horror, she realized, “How can a man suddenly turn off his love and emotions towards her, when he supposedly loved her so much?” And then the bitter truth struck her. He never did truly love her. A man that genuinely loves his woman is happy when she wants to make compromises, and save the relationship. Everyone is different when entering a relationship, and only compromises can save true love. Throwing something away is quite easy. His ego and pride were standing in his way. He couldn’t see beyond, and it made him weak. Due to this, he lost the person that loved him more than anyone ever did or will. He will realize this as time goes by, when sadness and regret settle deep in his broken heart. By then, it will be too late.

To be able to “truly” love, you must drop the ego. The Ego knows no difference between male or female. We all have this evil inside of us. The Ego sticks its wicked claws into the person, controls them, and usually ruins their loves and lives. It must be controlled and not given any power! For example feeling jealousy, or feeling the need to argue with your partner until s/he admits that you are right. These fights usually occur about minor issues, and during times of stress. You might think that the other is taking advantage of you, and your point of view is less important then theirs. My advice to you is, don’t sweat the small stuff, simply let it go! You cannot always be right. What helps is resisting the temptation to always feel the need to defend yourself. This is actually the Ego defending itself. The Ego will win the argument, but you can lose your partner. Think about it, is this situation worth losing your loved one?

After this initial reaction to a fight, there is sometimes a need to continue punishing the partner. He hurt you, and therefore must pay the price for this. You give him/her the silent treatment, creating mountains of distance between you two. Who will write or call first? How long will you continue to treat your partner this way after the argument? Until the love completely dies? Actually, you are also hurting yourself in the process of this unnecessary harsh treatment.

You must learn to agree to disagree! Learn to compromise! After arguments, the Ego will always try to trick you with doubts, fear, self-defense, re-thinking/evaluating the relationship, thinking “This doesn’t make me happy anymore, I need to protect myself and get out now!” The cold brutal rationality kills any feeling of love that you both established before. There will be fights once in a while, but you must be ready to let the issue go, or not only give blame, but also take blame upon yourself. Even Soul Mates are challenged with fights, in order to determine if their love for each other is real and strong. Be brave and tame your Ego. Build your own inner strength! This will not humiliate you, quite the opposite actually, this will make you strong and brave! How much longer do you want to be a slave to your Ego? If you are not willing to adjust to each other and work together on your relationship, then do yourself and your heart a favor, do not fall in love at all.

www.facebook.com/yesnomaybegalia

  • 1
  • 2
Start Typing
Privacy / Datenschutz Preferences 

When you visit our website, it may store information through your browser from specific services, usually in the form of cookies. Here you can change your Privacy preferences. It is worth noting that blocking some types of cookies may impact your experience on our website and the services we are able to offer.

Click to enable/disable Google Fonts.
Click to enable/disable Google Maps.
Click to enable/disable video embeds.
 
See our Privacy Policy / Datenschutz here: www.galiabrener.com/privacy-policy-datenschutz
Our website uses cookies, mainly from 3rd party services. Define your Privacy Preferences and/or agree to our use of cookies.