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Galia Brener

Did a cheater break your heart?

Did a cheater break your heart? 1200 400 Galia Brener

Like I always say, love is a bitch. She mysteriously appears out of no where, forces herself into your nicely balanced life, punches you in the face until you are drunk enough not to know anything anymore and makes you helplessly addicted to her high. Unfortunately this bitch also has the habit of disappearing, leaving you with a half-beating shattered heart, and a painful anxiety that you would not even wish upon the devil himself. This is a very serious issue and I will be quite harsh in this article. It’s about survival and the necessity to heal and move on.

 

A few months ago, I met up with the girls for a delicious Sunday brunch. The door to the restaurant opened, and Jilli walked in, looking very upset. Her eyes were swollen, and she looked like she was about to collapse at any second. I felt my heart skip a beat because I knew something was very wrong. She looked up at us, her beautiful turquoise eyes filled with tears, and said, “We broke up.” I almost spilled my hot coffee allover myself. Jilli and her now “ex” boyfriend were our example that true love really does exist. My sunny-side up eggs arrived, but I couldn’t eat them. I took a bite and felt the egg sticking to my throat. I asked her what happened. This question made Jilli’s tears roll violently down her face, and she told us that he cheated on her in the cruelest way. It was emotional and psychological cheating. (Maybe even physical cheating, but she didn’t know for sure, because he was a liar!) He was chatting to other women on WhatsApp. He was also sending photo albums and writing love letters to his ex – saying what a good couple they still were, how much he missed her, was thinking about her and even crying because of these memories! He wrote the cheating letter a few hours before entering Jilli’s bed and having sex with her! He didn’t tell Jilli about this, he kept it a dark secret. How sick and cruel!

 

How could this person betray such a special love? She was ready to marry him and have his children. If the ex wouldn’t forward Jilli this email, she would never know that she was living with a betraying cheater! He had a long disgusting history of cheating. Actually he cheated on all his girlfriends, but Jilli thought that with her it would be different. She was terribly wrong! When Jilli confronted him about the cheating, he played the sick helpless victim role, saying how much he loved her, promising her lies in the air that he will never do it again, that he wants to marry her and she’s the only one for him! He even involved her mother, her best friend and his mother in his sick games! Blah, blah, blah, he said the same lying shit to his exes before. He said that he learned from his mistake, yet he did the same thing to Jilli! He said an emotional situation in the family made him write this email. Pathetic excuse! So what would happen now? Every time he had an emotional situation in his life, Jilli should be afraid that he would cheat on her again? She doesn’t need a weak man without a backbone! A snake doesn’t change its personality. I told Jilli, “Once a cheater, always a cheater!”

 

She asked me what to do, because she knows my story from many years ago. I’ve had my heart brutally destroyed once as well. Like Jilli, I thought that my world was demolished, and what I loved was being ripped out of my body alive. Months went by, and the pain did not subside. One day while crying in the kitchen, something strange happened; for a millisecond, I felt deep inside myself that if I wont finally deal with this crap, it will deal with me – in a very bad way. Constant painful emotions can lead to physical illness. The hard truth is that nobody needs a sick person. This brought out the fear, and self-protection in me, and I finally woke up. I entered survival-mode.

 

How did I heal my broken heart? I started loving myself more than I loved him. That’s it. That’s the trick. What does this mean? It means that soulmate or not, you have to take all the love you have for him, and turn it upon yourself, because you must survive this terror. You have no other choice, because if you don’t switch survival-mode on, this pain might destroy you. I have seen people turning to angry bitter monsters because of broken hearts. I have even heard of people falling into deep helpless depressions and not coming out of it for years! Is that what you want? To be stuck in hell for years obsessing about some jerk that cheated and doesn’t deserve you? That’s abandonment and betrayal and such a person is not entitled to your love – you are the one who deserves your love now!

 

Loving yourself more means living for yourself. Take the first few months to be selfish by doing what you want and when you want it. Your friends and family will understand if you explain to them. Learn to say “No” to others. Loving yourself is also controlling yourself – your thoughts and emotions. As soon as you think of how you miss him, counteract the thought with a thought of a bad thing that he did to you. Remember the bad stuff? It was not only rainbows. Loving yourself is being strong! You can cry for some weeks, but one day you have to get up, find your courage and start respecting yourself again. Loving yourself means fighting for yourself to become happy again. It means not letting yourself sink in the misery of your negative and depressive feelings. If he was weak and didn’t fight for you, doesn’t mean that you also have to be weak and not fight for yourself. If you have a dog or a child, would you allow someone to hurt them, while standing and watching? No! You would jump in, and save them from this evil. Well, imagine yourself jumping in and saving yourself. That’s what you have to do now, save yourself.

 

Life is too damn short to cry over idiots who take us for granted, cheat on us, don’t appreciate us and actually do not even deserve us. Never ever give your power away by letting someone bring you down so low, that you cannot feel “happiness” anymore. How the hell does he still deserve love from you after hurting you like that? He doesn’t deserve it and never will again. You deserve your own love now! ♥

 

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Can you live without Love?

Can you live without Love? 1200 400 Galia Brener

You can’t live with her you can’t live without her. Sometimes you even compromise yourself, your beliefs, your morals and values – in order to have this thing in your life. Her name is Love, and she is a ruthless, egoistic maniac, who will show you what living is all about. She will make the blood rush in your peaceful veins, the adrenalin pump through your guts, and she will even cause your heart to hurt, and almost burst out of your body. But despite all of the ups and downs, the pain and sorrows, good and bad moments, we still yearn for this bittersweet Lady Love to come knocking on our door.

 

My friend Heather was telling me about her long lost love. They were together for 8 years. I still do not have a clue how they made it together for so long – that can only be explained due to magic! Those two are complete opposites of each other. He is serious and conservative, and she is a party queen that can disappear for three days in a row, and come back with stories about meeting the devil himself! They are two squares that make a circle together. They both suffered and enjoyed so much in this relationship – so many makeups and breakups. Slamming doors, tears, screaming, arguing, makeup sex, passion, understanding, romance, miscommunication, desire, fights, compliments, insults, blame and support. They couldn’t live without each other. The love was far from perfect, but so intense! Unfortunately the love came to an end when one of them cheated and a child was made. Heather still speaks of him with tears in her eyes. She told me that she will never forgot him until she dies. Sad. How could it be that something so strong and intense simply breaks in half?

 

We live in a society where giving up is easier than ordering a stinky anchovies pizza. We have to fight for our Lady Love because believe me, if we wont, there will be someone else out there who will gladly give her what she needs, and then she’s gone! That’s life. Things get taken for granted. One day it’s an earth-shattering love, and the next day your best friend is moving into a villa together with your ex husband – whom you still love, but don’t admit. Don’t be a fool, open your heart and tell them that you still love them. You never know… you might save that special love, or otherwise regret it your entire life! Heather regrets it until this day that she had the chance to save her love, but her ego wouldn’t allow her to do so.

 

If love is really such a bitch, than why do we come back for more? Because we are human, and humans were not made to be alone. You can ask the biggest player in his sad, weak moment, and even he will tell you that he wants to have a big love. Unfortunately in the last decades, love was made to appear as something cheesy, for the ultra sappy. It’s totally insane, but being a single, successful, good-looking, strong and not-so-emotional woman these days is considered “cooler” than being a women ridiculously in love – who sends sweet messages to her partner, talks about him all the time with big glittery in-love eyes and draws hearts beside him name. Since when did love get such a negative weak reputation?

 

I know a woman who does this to me – behind my back. Every time I speak to my man in a sweet and loving tone, she turns around and pretends to put her fingers in her throat. Then she says, “Oh Galia, get over it, this is so cheesy. Wake up from your annoying pink bubble, because you are making us puke. It’s all fake!” Eventually I have learned to just look at her and laugh. Poor girl. Where is this reaction coming from – Jealousy? Bitterness? Loneliness? Lack of goodness and purity in her heart? Who the hell knows! Love is a bitch to everyone – but if she can’t get up after being shot down by Lady Love (like all of us), then she will definitely fry in her dark pan like a raw chewy octopus for years to come.

 

Love is a bitch. She gets us all. Some are scared of Lady Love, some run after her, but never catch her. Some try to avoid her, and ironically get thrown into her arms. There is no way of avoiding this mysterious Lady. After we have been beaten by Love, we have two choices: 1. We crawl into our shell and not let anyone hurt us ever again – meaning that we never experience love again! 2. Or we crawl out of our shell – after properly licking our wounds, and try to ride Lady Love again. Do you really want to miss out on the excitement of which freaks you shall meet next? The Freakazoid fun is so priceless! I’m kidding. But on a more serious note, it’s definitely worth trying to find your true love again, even if you have been incredibly hurt in the past. Maybe next time you shall get lucky and meet “The One”? I believe that only the ones with faith will get a true taste of Lady Love. It’s like Russian roulette. Love is a bitch, but we all need her in our lives. She is addictive. She is magical, unforgettable… and she’s coming to get you!

 

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Are you dating a bad person… again?

Are you dating a bad person… again? 803 1200 Galia Brener

Have you ever thought, “Oh great, the same shit and asshole again!” Do you keep on meeting guys that end up playing and hurting you? Or do you meet women that use you, or cheat on you? Do you sometime feel that the world has ran out of good people to date, and you are left with the broken, damaged crap that no one else wants? Many of us experience the same dating catastrophes over and over again! However, is it really the fact that all the good ones are taken already, or have we simply not learned from our past mistakes? Perhaps the problem lies within us and not them – especially if we experience the same issues with different people!

 

My friend Heather started dating a new guy three months ago. Everything was going so perfectly at the beginning. He was writing and calling her daily, spending lots of time with her, adored and gave her many compliments, and invited her to romantic dates. She was on cloud nine, and felt that her life couldn’t get any better. The third month came along, and the same familiar arguments and fights started. She said, “Gali, I can’t believe that he turned on me like that! It was so amazing, and now the same nightmare started again like with my ex!” Similar issues and disagreements came up. She felt like she was reliving the same bad horror show, but with a different man! Again the same lack of attention and affection, less calls and contact, the same disrespect and the same distancing started to happen. She felt her man slip slowly away through her fingers, and she couldn’t hold onto him any longer.

 

Unfortunately the hardest part is the realization that we are the common denominator in all of our relationships. Either we choose the wrong people to date, or we make the same mistakes over and over again. If you realize that you always have bad issues with partners, then it’s time to take a serious look within yourself, because it might be something that we are doing wrong and not them.

 

It’s crucial to examine the mistakes you made in your past relationships. For example, were you often jealous with not much reason, or got stuck onto words said without much thought? Did you often walk with your ego a meter ahead of you, and defended yourself like in a war at every argument? Or were you not sympathetic enough to your partner? Were you too clingy, or simply not attentive enough? Did you evoke unnecessary drama or often felt insulted? Were you a good listener? Did you cheat on your love? Were there ridiculous expectations or assumptions? This is a very hard trying to do, but try to examine where you made your mistakes in the past and what could have been avoided. We all had situations where we could have let go of small things, avoiding arguments and making it easier to keep the peace – but our selfish egos wouldn’t let us do that. These are all small things that add up and kill relationships. If you experience the same dating problems over and over again – then these are the exact issues that you didn’t learn from in the past. Don’t worry we all had these experiences, you are not alone.

 

However it might not always be the “big” mistakes stated above. Your mistake might be that you are simply choosing the wrong person again and again. We usually have a certain “type” of person that we are attracted to. Whether the appearance or the personality, we subconsciously go for the same one. You must test the waters for new possibilities. Don’t get stuck on the same pattern, because it’s obvious that it didn’t work out the last few times, so give yourself a break from this approach. Go to new unfamiliar places that different people frequent. You might be pleasantly surprised by the witty art lover, or the stiff banker – who might not be that stiff after all! What about the sporty type or the hobby cook at the kleinmarkthalle? Explore new terrains.

 

I came to the important realization that if I want to have a happy and healthy relationship, then I must learn from my past mistakes. That’s the only way of avoiding having the same crap follow me again and again. With every dating experience there must be some sort of evolution. You get to know yourself better in various situations and improve yourself. With my own experiences and what I see with my friends, I can honestly tell you that if you don’t learn from the past, you will not get any further, even with a new love – the same shit will happen again and again! What really helped me is to work on my behavior. I did my best to become a better version of myself. Then I opened up my eyes and started choosing different men. I broke my pattern and it really worked! Remember, you cannot get new results if you do and choose the same thing over and over.

 

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Outfit of the Day special feature: MCM

Outfit of the Day special feature: MCM 803 1200 Galia Brener

As the days grow shorter and the sun doesn’t come out to play as often anymore, I feel that I need a little bit of extra color and spice in my outfits. Ever since I was a wild teenager, I always had the same yearly clothing routine. During the winters I wore only black and during the summers I wore mostly bright colors. This was my way of expressing myself and my emotional association with the seasons.

 

Yet as I grow older, I find myself liking the winter more and more. I think of the cozy nights in front of the fireplace, the romantic Christmas markets of Europe, the warm sweet red wines and the fresh walks outside in the cold crisp air. With this new found love for the cold, I slowly realize that it doesn’t have to be all about the black colors for me anymore. This year I will introduce more bright colors and funky cuts to my wardrobe. Gone are the drabby wide cut blacks and browns, and hello to my bright tight winter silhouettes.

 

I am happy to feature two of my favorite outfits from MCM this week. I visited the stylish Alesja Zuber of MCM for this occasion. For those who know my love for leather jackets, I absolutely had to have the classic tight black leather. I really like the silver hardware elements on it – the 2 vertical zippers on the front and attached leather belt with buckle on the bottom. This jacket takes the term “biker chick” to a new level and even manages to throw in a 3rd word to the mix: Chic Biker Chick! In my opinion this classic MCM leather jacket has the perfect mix of posh and bad-ass. What’s amazing about the jacket is that the shoulders are slightly padded and since the belt buckle can be closed tightly, this makes every body type look very slim at the waistline.

 

I combined the leather jacket with the special edition backpack – with the art of my friend Stefan Strumbel on it. His famous cuckoo clock decorates the front of the bag. Even Karl Lagerfeld owns one of Stefan’s famous cuckoo clocks. This one says “Heimat Loves You!” in neon on the front. I love how the neon colors and art piece decorated the bag to make it look so edgy and unique. Perfect as a splash of wild color to clash the winter gray sky!

 

I was very pleased to find out that MCM now offers its customers a well-fitted, warm winter coat with luxurious fur trim on the shoulders. It’s a very unique coat – which almost reminds me of a city version of Snow White. I combined it with a new arrival gray fur bag with an elegant chain to wear on one shoulder. The bag has beautiful details of pearls on it. It can also be worn across the front for the casual-chic look. And staying true to my winter color attack, I topped the look off with a bright purple MCM scarf mixed of wool and silk. I love the way this scarf looks and feel – it shimmers slightly in the light. I would wear the MCM scarf with jeans like I did on the photo, with a little black dress or even a long evening gown. It comes in many lovely colors. My favorite is definitely this purple one.

 

Today was a really fun and special day. I got to play dress up at MCM and swim in an ocean full of beautiful accessories. I have to admit that the MCM brand has really come a long way. They managed to stay on top of the trends offering their clients their famous heritage bags, yet also constantly coming up with new and exciting designs to freshen up their look – like the sought after backpacks, sneakers, scarves, etc. I can truly say: MCM, I am a fan now!

 

Photos by: Alesja Zuber

 

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SRA BUA – 1 Michelin Star – featuring new head Chef: Simon Prokscha

SRA BUA – 1 Michelin Star – featuring new head Chef: Simon Prokscha 1200 400 Galia Brener

Last week I received a fabulous invitation from Mr. Steffen Ball, spokesman of the Kempinski hotel and also known for his company Ballcom. Mr. Ball has been doing the PR for the Kempinski Frankfurt hotel for the last 10 years. He was pleased to share with us the accomplishment of the restaurant SRA BUA by Juan Amador with getting their well-deserved Michelin star! Last night was the official introduction of their head star chef, Simon Prokscha, a well accomplished man at the age of 28!

 

Simon started out in SRA BUA – a concept created by the great Juan Amador – in November 2013 as sous chef, and has made his way to the very top with creativity and ambition. I asked him what his inspiration is and he replied, “Authentic Chinese dishes! I like to take a classic Asian dish and transform it into my own vision. Everyone in the kitchen has a say in our creations. We all contribute our visions and the creations are always a result of team work.” I was very impressed by his answer and dedication to team spirit. One can see that he is a good leader due to his care for his team and involving them fully in the process and accomplishments – the perfect recipe for a successful Michelin starred restaurant!

 

The evening started out in the lounge area of the hotel. I was very impressed by the grandeur of it! The ceilings were infinitely high, accentuated by a huge chandelier at the end of the bar. Each side had a fireplace to give the feeling of warmth and comfort. We were greeted with a cold flute of Moët, served on a grand piano, for that elegant touch. We got a chance to introduce ourselves and meet the other press members. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits! After the meet and greet, we were taken to the SRA BUA restaurant, where the fantastic trip into taste-bud-Heaven was to begin! Being the curious creature that I am, I made my way into the kitchen first to see who this Simon Prokscha was that everyone was talking about? He turned out to be a really cool, down-to-Earth guy, funny and quite charming. I was impressed that the Michelin starred man was actually so nice!

 

Back at restaurant we began our 7-course SRA BUA Menü & Champagner experience with little delights like dim sum, soup in a test tube, Naan bread, and other little treats. Each course was accompanied by a different wine that matched the main ingredient in the dish and was picked to accentuate the taste! Throughout our 4 hour tasting experience, we were served various creations – half of which I have never even heard the names of before. So many exotic flavors in one little evening. The best part was that each dish was served to look like a work of art! I called it Food Art, and was impressed with the precise attention to details, form, color and composition! One could see that this was made by the hand of a creative master. In each dish one could see an entire landscape of art – from an Asian garden to an surrealist painting, the art was screaming at us from the plates, teasing us to eat and enjoy! We were served Australian Kingfish, scallops, Chawanmushi, back of deer, Onde Onde, crazy cotton candy, and other wild delights. (Please see photos below).

 

After the last course, I literally couldn’t move anymore. It has been a long time since my taste buds were exposed to such an amazing experience! I thanked Steffen for the wonderful invitation, Simon and his team, and all the others that made our evening so wonderful. We were given a few lovely reminders to take home, amongst them my favorite pistachio macaroons. As we walked back through the lounge area, I couldn’t help but notice how many people were still there, having an amazing time! It was midnight and the party was still going strong. I bid everyone farewell and made it to my carriage, thankfully not turning into a pumpkin just yet. It’s 2015, and Cinderella’s curfew has been extended to 1am. Welcome to Frankfurt – a city with no time and no limits, and definitely with one hell of a delicious Michelin-starred restaurant!

 

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ETRO store opening in Frankfurt

ETRO store opening in Frankfurt 1200 400 Galia Brener

A few weeks ago a square envelope arrived at my home. I took it out of the mailbox and knew from the quality of the envelope and thickness of the card inside that this is an invitation to a cool fashion event. When I opened up the envelope, the first thing that caught my eye was the colorful paisley print. Without thinking twice, I knew that this could only be the invitation to the fabulous opening party of the Etro store. Indeed I was right. This unique Etro corporate identity cannot be mistaken with any other brands, and a designer eye can see the details right away. Since I live in the neighborhood, I have been scooping the store since it arrived in our little city with a big attitude.

 

I met the girls a bit earlier for a drink on the Fressgass and then we walked together to the opening. As we arrived, we were greeted by the smiling Frank Kuhlmann, of the Kuhlmann-Consulting-Group, which was in charge of organized this event. The girls grabbed a glass of champagne and I reached out for the boring sparkling water. That’s what you get when doing detox. Water, water and more “delicious” water. Not. But at least my liver, kidneys and skin love me for it. We managed to slip into a tiny niche, because the store was so full! It was incredible because it felt like the entire European fashion society was there! Of course the who’s who of Frankfurt was definitely there. Along with some new and very attractive faces. I believe that twice as many people came than were actually invited to this event – which is always a sign of a good party!

 

My friends were pleased to see what even though Etro was popping at the seam with people, the champagne was flowing quite quickly and there was no shortage of it for the next hours. I loved the matching Etro-colored macaroons that were served with the drinks. What a fabulous little detail! I greeted my friends and people that I knew at the party and couldn’t wait to make my way to the lower lever of the 210 square meter store. I was there for the fashion and new collection! I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the new styles and fabrics. I set my girls on a mission to show me their favorite outfits. My favorite “ETRO LOOK” for the evening was a colorful wool knee-length coat – mainly made of khaki, brown and purple shades – topped off with a matching big Russian-shapka-style furry hat. Since I was deeply inspired by Jean Paul Gaultier’s collection at the Dominicana Moda a few weeks ago, I had to wear something with stripes, so I put on my crazy Gaultier pantyhose. Of course they totally clashed with the coat and hat, but in a strange, circus-Buckingham-Palace-guard kind of way, the entire outfit worked! At least I thought so – some would beg to differ of course. I fell madly in love with this wild outfit! In my opinion, perfect for almost any occasion! (See photo below).

 

Speaking of playful, I bought a shiny bag in a shape of a robot a few days ago. I named the bag Robotica, and of course, brought her to the opening with me. Let me tell you, Robotica was the star of the show, together with the beautiful wool Etro paisley-printed scarves. Everyone wanted to touch her and make a photo with her. Who would have thought that a bag could have so many lovers? After trying on half of the store, the girls persuaded me to go upstairs and dance for a bit. There was a gorgeous woman DJane rocking behind the decks. She played a nice combination of light and deep house. Not only did Etro bring us beautiful designs that evening, but made everyone sway to the magical sound and flirt over a nice chilled drink. There were a few guys making eye contact with us, but that evening I was only interested in fashion-love!

 

Watching my friends run around the store with their champagne flutes and lipsticks in hand, I realized how boring detox can be. It was time to bid everyone farewell. I definitely got my hard fashion fix for the night. My eyes, heart and soul were very happy – of course my credit card was not! I kissed the girls, told them to flirt and have fun, said goodbye to the beautiful Etro staff and made my way to the door. I was given a cute goodie bag on my way out – which happened to have a very chic leather tassel keychain inside. I turned around to look at the store form the outside and sighed to myself. Frankfurt was definitely changing for the better. My city was becoming more chic and trendy with each passing year. I walked home with a proud and satisfied smile on my face.

 

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BILD newspaper interview, quiz and video

BILD newspaper interview, quiz and video 1200 400 Galia Brener

Interview: About my blog and a little relationship & sex tip for the German BILD newspaper. A big thanks to Niklas Cordes, Ricarda Discoking, Vincenzo Mancuso and Yulia Mettier for the styling!

 

About my blog video:

Translation to English: I speak a bit about my blog. Then they asked what is a good tip to keep relationships/marriages going – I answered that no matter how and when a couple is fighting, they should never forget the sex. Even if there are fights, as long as the sex is still happening, the relationship has a higher chance/rate of survival. Basically – Don’t forget the sex – Intimacy bonds.

 

The fashion quiz:

 

The article:

In the BILD newspaper online: http://www.bild.de/regional/frankfurt/hessen/deine-blogger-43210560.bild.html

 

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Behind the scenes photos:

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