Keep the Faith!

Keep the Faith! 1354 437 Galia Brener

You just came, or shall I say ‘ran’ home from a date that you do not even want to admit that happened. How did you escape? Did you suddenly remember your great grandmother’s 130th birthday party, which actually starts in one hour, and “Oh no!” you left the birthday present: pet-monkey-in-a-box, underneath the seat of the U4? Or did you pull off the brave “force-yourself-out-of-the-restaurant-bathroom-window” getaway, not caring about the thorny rose bushes below? The main thing is that you got out of there fast, alive, and without a trace – of course not counting the bloody scratches from the roses. Anything, just not to enduring another hour with the date you’ve realized is actually an alien in a dress, or suit and tie. After all, how bad can flying through glass windows really be? I’m sure you will need this talent eventually some day, so consider it good practice for other insane situations. Congratulations! You have escaped the date from hell. You get home to your comfortable couch and think, “Do I ever want to go through that again?” It’s not just about the dates, but also the relationships, and even marriages. It’s about going through those awful experiences, which you never wish to repeat again, yet still miraculously being able to keep the faith in true love! Can you do that; keep the faith?

My best friend Jilli dated a guy last year. Let’s call him “C”. Last December they flew to Paris, to spend a beautiful weekend together. After all, isn’t Paris supposed to be the most romantic city in the world? On Saturday night, they went to Silencio, which is an astoundingly beautiful and mysterious nightclub, designed by David Lynch. The first drinks were ordered, and they went to dance. After some time, C went to get more drinks. 30 minutes have passed… then 1 hour, and he was nowhere to be seen. Jilli became concerned and went to search for him. She found C at the dark bar, with a woman on each side, hugging, laughing and drinking together. In front of them were numerous empty shot glasses and drinks. C had forgotten about her, and seemed to be having a wonderful time with these females. Instead of freaking out, Jilli approached the bar, turned her back to him and introduced herself to the women. After a few shared jokes, Jilli took over their attention, and the ladies had completely forgot about C’s existence. C was dumbly confused at how such a switch could suddenly happen?

While Jilli appeared to be laughing with the ladies, inside, her heart was shattering into a million pieces. Why the hell did she fly to Paris with him? Definitely not to stand alone in a dark club and watch him flirt with and touch other women in front of her face! What the hell was wrong with this imbecile?! She wanted to cry and scream at him; she was hurt and so damn disappointed. But instead, she went back to their hotel, packed her bag, and took the first flight back home alone to Frankfurt. It turned out that C is a suffering entity that keeps looking for the next adventure in order to feel at least half-alive. He sold his young company for multi-million Euros a few years back, and somehow lost touch with reality. Inside, he is extremely lonely, and suffers deeply because he cannot differentiate between which people are around him for his money, or because of him as a person. This is his curse, and therefore, he will never be able to find true love. The sad thing is that Jilli did not see this at the beginning, because he masked his rotten heart with convincing smiles, sweet words and promises. Jilli had true intentions for him, but got extremely hurt in the process. After time had passed, Jilli heard that C still treats all women like worthless pieces of dirt, even though some good ones have crossed his path. His regrets shall come later, when he is old and all alone.

What was Jilli supposed to do after this horror weekend? Give up on men, never go on dates anymore, or give up hope of finding true love? (Same goes the other way around for men in such situations). I believe that you never really know why something is happening, as it’s happening to you. The real reason becomes clear sometime later. In such situations, there are only two things that can be done. First is to have strong and unconditional faith; that good things will come to you when the time is right. What’s also important, is to believe that you deserve this goodness! This strong unrelenting faith is what shall keep you going. This is not easy, but it’s the only way to survive in this harsh dating world. The second choice is to lose faith in the goodness in people, and give up. Once this happens, deep sadness and bitterness sets in, and that’s when the downward spiral begins. It’s quite a dangerous path. However, I personally believe that this is a life lesson, and as strangely as it sounds, may even be a test – to see how much one really believes in and deserves true love. Giving up is the easiest path. It’s actually the strongest individuals who love beyond all imperfections, cry behind closed doors, and fight heartbreaking battles.

Jilli was upset for the following few months. She was angry at herself for falling into such a painful trap. The ego was hurt. But as time passed and grievances were forgotten, the heart still longed to meet a special person, and find true love. Little did Jilli know that one year after the catastrophic time with C, due to her unconditional faith in finding love – especially after such sick experiences – she will be together with her soul mate in Frankfurt, and finally have true love!

The point of this story is that Jilli did not give up, as tempting as it was. Let’s be realistic, we have all had our fair share of absurd dating situations, disappointments, failure of expectations and cruel intentions. But must we give these people the power to discourage and turn us into bitter non-believers? Best is to gather your strength, sense of survival, and not allow such people and situations to damage you. If you have been knocked down, get up, dust yourself off, find the courage and faith within yourself, and continue – knowing that you deserve better! True love really does exist, but you must believe in it.

Love(in)g Mainhattan Part II

Love(in)g Mainhattan Part II 1354 437 Galia Brener

Heather, totally annoyed, was still sitting across from me at Wagner’s, playing with the Grüne Soße on her plate. “What’s your point Galia? Jilli went on a boat and saw some cute guy. So what? Jilli is everyone’s darling, and gets approached by many guys. She doesn’t have to deal with the same problems that we do!” said Heather. I gave her one of my looks. “Are you kidding me? Do you know how much dating drama and heartache poor Jilli went through the last years?”

I told Heather the story about Michael. Jilli met him at a bar with a friend that she knew. Michael asked her out the next day, and they had a lovely dinner together. They laughed, shared private stories about their lives, and had a wonderful evening. They continued dating the next few weeks, and Jilli was happily floating on cloud Nine! One warm Sunday on the Main, Jilli bumped into two female acquaintances. One of them said, “Jilli, you’re a good girl, but since when do you date men with a wife and a baby at home?!” They were referring to Michael. Jilli was shocked. Apparently he had an entire secret life that he was leading behind her back. He blocked his family album from her on Facebook. The girls showed her the photos. She felt like she was shot with a poisonous silver bullet directly through her heart. It hurt so damn much. She couldn’t breathe. The pain coming from her heart and stomach were unbearable, as if her soul was being torn out of her body. She felt nauseous, disgusted by the betrayal. She wanted to sink deep inside the protecting warm Earth, where she would never be hurt again. She didn’t deserve this. She swore to herself, never again. No more men, no more dating, no more pain.

After hearing this, Heather sat with her mouth open, speechless. I said, “Don’t worry, everyone gets what they deserve in life. Good things come to good people. Let me tell you the rest of Jilli’s boat story.”

Jilli found herself looking over her right shoulder more than a few times, in order to catch the eye of the handsome giant again. As she noticed him approaching the bar, her heart started beating a bit quicker. Leo was tall, handsome and had thick dark hair, which he wore away from his face, revealing his blue-green eyes. He exchanged a few words with Jilli’s friend Isa, and went back to his group of friends. He did not look in her direction anymore. Of course this drove Jilli crazy. Later on, two women stopped beside Leo and flirted offensively with him. She did not like this at all. The desire to walk over to them and throw the two ladies overboard was extremely tempting. Instead, Jilli ordered three rounds of Jägermeister shots for herself and her girlfriends and hoped for the best. The women were still glued to Leo’s side, and with a deep breath, she gave up and didn’t look his way anymore.

The effects of the drinks were starting to melt the thoughts and worries away. An interesting man, dressed in blue jeans, white shirt and a large friendly smile came to say hello. As he talked and talked, Jilli felt that she was miles away. Her heart was not in the conversation. She gazed at the stunning view of the Frankfurt skyline. She loved this city. In a matter of an instant second, appearing out of thin air, Leo was standing in front of her and said, “You look bored!” He stole her away from the other man and ordered her a delicious exotic cocktail. Jilli was impressed by his brave action, and a bit surprised as well, because she thought that he was not interested in her.

His eyes twinkled in the light, as the golden sun was setting in the background. While they talked, he accidently brushed his fingers against her lower arm, sending a small shiver through her body. His hands were so large and masculine. When they shared a joke he came closer with his head to hers, his smell was hypnotizing her. His lips were full and sensuous, and again his smell, this manly spicy smell, was driving her wild. She couldn’t think. An intense warmth was pulsating between her legs. She wanted to push Leo against the bar and kiss his lips, gently bite the side of his strong neck, lick his scent, feel his hard body against hers. She imagined what it would feel like if he tore off her dress, lifted her on top of the bar and took her, right there and then. She would wrap her legs around his back and push him deeper inside of her. She wanted to run her fingers through his long hair, and scream his name. Jilli’s knees went weak. Suddenly, she was thrown back into reality, as the handsome giant asked her about how she envisioned her life, her future husband and children. Sweet lovely caring warm Leo, she thought. I like him… a lot. They had a deep touching conversation, and didn’t even notice that the boat had docked, the music had stopped, and most of the people had already left. Leo and Jilli were so mesmerized by each other, but it was time to say goodbye and leave the Kingka boat. Jilli offered Leo her number, but he did not want to take it. Instead he gave Jilli his, and said, “If you are serious about meeting me again, then I would like you to contact me. I am an honest guy and do not play games.” She wasn’t sure what to believe anymore, thinking back to what Michael had done to her. She took Leo’s number, written in a messy handwriting on a napkin, kissed his cheek, and left the boat.

Isabella was waiting for her downstairs at the edge of the main. She said, “Wow, you two were inseparable! What did you talk about?” Jilli’s thoughts were filled with Leo’s words, his deep sexy voice. And that smell! She could not get his smell off her mind! “Let’s take a seat on that bench.” Said Jilli, “I need to hear his voice again, I must call him now!” Isa looked at her and laughed, “But Jilli, you just got his number less than 20 minutes ago! Shouldn’t you wait a few days until you call him?!” At that moment, Jilli didn’t care about the rules and games, she needed to hear his voice again! She dialed his number. “Hello?” Came Leo’s voice from the other end of the line, she heard the smile in his voice. Her heart skipped a beat.

To be continued …

Love(in)g Mainhattan Part I

Love(in)g Mainhattan Part I 1354 437 Galia Brener

On a lazy Sunday afternoon, I dragged Heather Klein out to watch a football game. I decided to be extra daring, and wore my new ultra colorful maxi dress, which is cut in the shape of an elegant old-fashioned Baroque dress with a long train. It was a bit of a crazy outfit for an average Sunday at the Schweizerstr., but we only live once, right? Sitting in the lovely back outdoor area of Wagner, Heather glanced at me with a perplexed look on her face and asked, completely out of the blue, “Where is HE already?!” Knowing that this conversation would take a while, I needed to stock up on some emotional ammunition, and ordered 4 Mispelchen. For each of us, of course! Something had to warm our hearts on this particular Sunday, and get us into football mood.

“HE” is also known as Prince Charming. The brave knight-in-shining-armor. The one who will love you forever and ever, with all your flaws, cellulite, wrinkles and days when your stomach is horribly bloated and nothing fits well, including your favorite jeans. When we were little girls, we were told of fairytales with Prince Charming, listening attentively with wide-open eyes.

So girls, over 25 or more years later, do we still believe in him? Does “Prince Charming” really exist? And if he does exist, does he look like that guy that Disney was trying to sell us all of these years?

 Our friend Jilli was supposed to go with her parents to a picnic in Oberursel. She knew that as soon as she arrives, her mother would conspire with the neighbor ladies and force poor single Jilli to meet all of their “Handsome”, “Eligible”, “Wonderful” sons –yeah right! Um… no thank you! Hell no! Since when is being single so bad that it must be attacked and taken care of immediately? Or even better, let’s all go to the doctor and get antibiotics again Singlenessia?! Jilli’s mobile rang, it was Isabella Valentine. “We are going on a party boat on the main. Go get dressed. Now!” Isabelle said, knowing that it takes Jilli hours to get ready.

It was a very warm beautiful summer evening in Frankfurt. Jilli stood in front of her closet, asking the same damn annoying question… again. What to wear? Should I go with something casual? This way it doesn’t look like I’m trying too hard, thought Jilli. Or rather stylish and chic? Which might be too much, and appear as if I’m trying too hard to impress. Jilli was getting into her “How-do-I-appear-to-others” complex again. She ended up choosing a white 70’s style mini dress with a colorful flower collage on the front, and topped it all off with huge Jackie O sunglasses, a wide gold-colored leather bracelet cuff, and her new colorful strappy wood-wedged sandals. Looking like a girl out of a show that aired 40 years ago, Jilli left her city center flat, and met Isabella at the Eisenersteg.

The Kingka party boat was filled with happy people, waiving to their friends and swaying their bodies to the hypnotizing beats. Jilli and Isa were making their way to their friends, Natalia and Co., who were already waiting for a while on the boat. Of course the girls occupied the best place, right in front of the bar. Standing 3 meters to the right of them was a group of tall handsome men smiling about something secretive and exciting. The boat started moving, and the first Hugos were ordered.

The girls were having such a great time, that Jilli didn’t even notice one of the guys from the group approaching the bar. He was trying to order a drink, but couldn’t get close to the bar, due to the barricade the girls had created. Looking at Jilli with a mischievous smile, the 2-meter-tall, dark haired guy asked her politely if she could order him a beer. Thinking to herself, “Oh great, another handsome player that I do not need in my life right now”, she looked at him and said, “No, order your own beer”. The guy looked totally confused and asked again. Annoyed by his persistence, Jilli delegated his request to her friend. As the tall stranger was walking away with beer in hand, Jilli thought, “Hmmm…actually, he is quite handsome…” He caught her stare from the corner of his eye, and with a smile on his lips, he turned around and walked back to his friends.

To be continued…

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