We live in a time of emancipation, where the women are becoming men, and the helpless men are getting in touch with their feminine side. Great! It’s a real dream come true… not. Since the roles are slowly reversing, and women have begun to grow balls, I sit here and wonder, who pays the bill? I’m still a firm believer in the old fashioned way. I adore the courting, the romance and that vision of a strong, loyal and loving man who you can rely on through thick and thin. I have heard many women say that they can do everything on their own, and don’t need a man to pay for them because they don’t want to owe anyone anything. Maybe it’s time to stop this bitter degradation, and allow men to be men, and women to be women again?
This week I went to the Christmas market in Frankfurt with a good girlfriend of mine. She’s a charming woman, and a great flirt, so I knew it will be a fun evening. The cold winter air, the enormous Christmas tree covered in flickering lights, and the magical carousel made it seem like we were part of a fairytale! We decided to start off the evening with a glass of warm apple wine, to keep up our Frankfurt winter tradition. By the time the drinks were paid and I turned around, my man-magnet friend was already talking to three guys. They were a loud group, but very friendly and funny. Of course the conversation turned to men and women, and then the topic came up, who pays the bill? The handsome one said that the man should pay on the first date. The grouchy cocky one said that the woman should pay, and the crazy loud one said, who cares who pays, as long as they end up in bed! Interesting how men love to gossip about this stuff just as much as woman do.
After screaming around for a bit and showing some mucho admiration, the guys have decided that: the man should pay for the first date, but there should be an effort from the woman to reach into her wallet and offer to chip something in. They even re-enacted a scene for us, as if the bill came and the woman “pretends” to reach for her wallet. I watched them, amused beyond belief. I asked them, “What happens when the bill comes and the woman doesn’t “fake-reach-her-wallet”, but sincerely says thank you instead?” Is it just about the searching-for-the-wallet-move that the men are looking for? But if they genuinely want to treat the lady, why need the fake-wallet-search? After all, a date is a date, or have things changed that much in the lasts years? The Christmas guys had no answer for this.
A male acquaintance of mine, let’s call him Two-F, says that the worst kind of women are the “No-thank-you” ones. He doesn’t mean the ones that always say no, but rather the ones that never say thank you. He once met a woman at a street fest, and they seemed to click, so he invited her to a nice restaurant after the fest. They had a delicious meal, and when he paid, she just shot him a half empty-hearted smile and got up. He found that to be strange because she didn’t even say thank you. She asked if he wants to grab a drink at a bar before going home, and he agreed. They spent two more hours at the bar talking about life, and their adventures. When the bill came, she simply turned around and pretended to look at something beside their table. Two-F paid the bill, and they left the bar. On the way out, the woman looked totally bored, and of course did not bother to thank him for the drinks. Two-F didn’t mind to pay the bill the entire evening, but the smallest gesture of saying “thank you” would have been appreciated. They exchanged numbers and he went home. He never called her again, and after a few months, they bumped into each other at a party. She asked why he never called, and he simply smiled and told her that she’s a spoiled bitch.
So who should actually pay the bloody bill? If a man is interested in the woman that he is meeting, then he should pay for the bill on the first date and see how it goes. Think of it as a small investment. This might after all be the woman of your dreams, and it’s part of the gentleman’s code. Most women rationalize that if the man pays, then he is taking somewhat of a responsibility, and honors her company. To her it also means that he is a generous, established man, and might be ready for something more than a one-time flirt. Besides, it’s a very nice and old-fashioned gesture that is appreciated by the right women. Ladies, I so often hear you complaining that men are becoming weaker and have lost the gentleman’s touch, so here is a perfect chance to let the men be men again! Allow them to treat you to a nice dinner, and show them your appreciation.
Appreciation is the key! Ladies, please lose your balls, and don’t feel patronized if your date offers to pay for you. Accept his kind offer with a warm smile and thank him. It’s that easy! Men want to be kind to us, and make us feel special, but sometimes we don’t allow them this, and take their power away. Then additionally we get frustrated and complain that they don’t treat us well, but how could they if we don’t give them the chance to? This does not mean that the man must always pay, but if he feels that he wants to invite you, allow him to be a gentleman. To show appreciation, be the next one to invite him to a nice dinner. It’s very important to return the gesture and treat him to something nice as well. Life is all about giving and taking. Usually men do not expect a huge gesture of you kissing their feet in return for them paying the bill, but a warm, kind and sincere “thank you” really goes a long way! So gentlemen, bring back proper old-fashioned dating, and treat that special lady to an unforgettable evening, and feel free to pay the bill.