jealousy Archives | Galia Brener

Galia Brener
December 4, 2015
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Can you live without Love?

Can you live without Love? https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Gali_giant_flower.jpg 1200 400 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g December 4, 2015 November 4, 2016

You can’t live with her you can’t live without her. Sometimes you even compromise yourself, your beliefs, your morals and values – in order to have this thing in your life. Her name is Love, and she is a ruthless, egoistic maniac, who will show you what living is all about. She will make the blood rush in your peaceful veins, the adrenalin pump through your guts, and she will even cause your heart to hurt, and almost burst out of your body. But despite all of the ups and downs, the pain and sorrows, good and bad moments, we still yearn for this bittersweet Lady Love to come knocking on our door.

My friend Heather was telling me about her long lost love. They were together for 8 years. I still do not have a clue how they made it together for so long – that can only be explained due to magic! Those two are complete opposites of each other. He is serious and conservative, and she is a party queen that can disappear for three days in a row, and come back with stories about meeting the devil himself! They are two squares that make a circle together. They both suffered and enjoyed so much in this relationship – so many makeups and breakups. Slamming doors, tears, screaming, arguing, makeup sex, passion, understanding, romance, miscommunication, desire, fights, compliments, insults, blame and support. They couldn’t live without each other. The love was far from perfect, but so intense! Unfortunately the love came to an end when one of them cheated and a child was made. Heather still speaks of him with tears in her eyes. She told me that she will never forgot him until she dies. Sad. How could it be that something so strong and intense simply breaks in half?

We live in a society where giving up is easier than ordering a stinky anchovies pizza. We have to fight for our Lady Love because believe me, if we wont, there will be someone else out there who will gladly give her what she needs, and then she’s gone! That’s life. Things get taken for granted. One day it’s an earth-shattering love, and the next day your best friend is moving into a villa together with your ex husband – whom you still love, but don’t admit. Don’t be a fool, open your heart and tell them that you still love them. You never know… you might save that special love, or otherwise regret it your entire life! Heather regrets it until this day that she had the chance to save her love, but her ego wouldn’t allow her to do so.

If love is really such a bitch, than why do we come back for more? Because we are human, and humans were not made to be alone. You can ask the biggest player in his sad, weak moment, and even he will tell you that he wants to have a big love. Unfortunately in the last decades, love was made to appear as something cheesy, for the ultra sappy. It’s totally insane, but being a single, successful, good-looking, strong and not-so-emotional woman these days is considered “cooler” than being a women ridiculously in love – who sends sweet messages to her partner, talks about him all the time with big glittery in-love eyes and draws hearts beside him name. Since when did love get such a negative weak reputation?

I know a woman who does this to me – behind my back. Every time I speak to my man in a sweet and loving tone, she turns around and pretends to put her fingers in her throat. Then she says, “Oh Galia, get over it, this is so cheesy. Wake up from your annoying pink bubble, because you are making us puke. It’s all fake!” Eventually I have learned to just look at her and laugh. Poor girl. Where is this reaction coming from – Jealousy? Bitterness? Loneliness? Lack of goodness and purity in her heart? Who the hell knows! Love is a bitch to everyone – but if she can’t get up after being shot down by Lady Love (like all of us), then she will definitely fry in her dark pan like a raw chewy octopus for years to come.

Love is a bitch. She gets us all. Some are scared of Lady Love, some run after her, but never catch her. Some try to avoid her, and ironically get thrown into her arms. There is no way of avoiding this mysterious Lady. After we have been beaten by Love, we have two choices: 1. We crawl into our shell and not let anyone hurt us ever again – meaning that we never experience love again! 2. Or we crawl out of our shell – after properly licking our wounds, and try to ride Lady Love again. Do you really want to miss out on the excitement of which freaks you shall meet next? The Freakazoid fun is so priceless! I’m kidding. But on a more serious note, it’s definitely worth trying to find your true love again, even if you have been incredibly hurt in the past. Maybe next time you shall get lucky and meet “The One”? I believe that only the ones with faith will get a true taste of Lady Love. It’s like Russian roulette. Love is a bitch, but we all need her in our lives. She is addictive. She is magical, unforgettable… and she’s coming to get you!

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Galia Brener
September 19, 2015
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Best Friend or Enemy?

Best Friend or Enemy? https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Villa_mirror.jpg 1200 400 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g September 19, 2015 September 19, 2015

Be careful whom you let into your life, because some women are cruel, egoistic, conniving and have an ice block where the heart is meant to be – and they will stop at nothing to get what they want. They are like a vampiric hurricane that storms into your life, sucks out your energy, destroys the love you have with your man, copies your identity and style, kills your good friendships and contacts, damages your career, ruins your life and “innocently” walks away after. Can an evil friend get away with such brutal behavior, or will Lady Karma eventually catch her by the hair and make her wish that she was never born?

This brings me back to a very unfortunate situation that my friend Ambrosia went through last year. She had a good friend whom she has known for many years – let’s call her “GreyMouse”. These two did everything together and were the classical definition of best friends. One day, Ambrosia met a really wonderful guy. They fell in love quickly, and started a warm, passionate and intense relationship. They had some occasional fights, but the love was strong. GreyMouse started acting strange towards Ambrosia. She felt the strong jealousy coming from her and GreyMouse was saying and doing things that hurt her. However, Ambrosia has a good heart and let a few things go, keeping in mind that GreyMouse was supposedly her “best friend.”

They broke up a month after this scenario, and in their last fight, he said, “GreyMouse was right! You just love to argue and need this drama in your life! I don’t want this anymore.” That hit her like a block of cement on the face! GreyMouse implanted a “thought” in his head that night and he subconsciously accepted it as a “fact”. His mind registered: “If her best friend says this about her, then it must be true, because she knows her better than I do, so I will believe it.” Then it was over.

Ambrosia was destroyed for many months after that. She took the breakup very hard and was not able to move past it for a long while. Her heart was shattered into a million pieces! Why the hell did her friend say this awful crap about her to her boyfriend? What was the need to betray her in such a cruel way? But such evil actions never go unpunished. Karma will always show up and do her work properly. She is a lady on a mission and she misses nothing and no one! Sometimes it takes a week, sometimes it takes years, but Karma’s work always gets done! Evil also has a way of functioning like a boomerang – and it will strike back the person that released it in the first place. Months later, Ambrosia heard that GreyMouse had some misfortunes in her life.

Ladies, please choose carefully who you allow to enter your lives. Not everyone is genuinely happy for you! – Especially not those evil women pretending to be your good friends. Therefore, share as less as possible about your life and relationship details. The less personal information you expose to such snakes, the less jealousy and destruction will occur. Unless it’s a super trusted old friend, otherwise keep your business to yourself! Open up your eyes and pay attention to the small signs and things these people say and do. If you feel that something is not right, it usually isn’t. If you see there is too much jealousy and negativity, the best method is to remove them from you life immediately. Hatred and jealousy should not have a place in your life, and you must not let such people close to you, otherwise you will regret it. Like my Mama always says, “Who needs enemies if one has such evil friends?” Remove poisonous “friends” out of your life – the sooner, the better!

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Galia Brener
July 3, 2015
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Jealousy kills relationships!

Jealousy kills relationships! https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Gali_inside_Jag.jpg 1200 400 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g July 3, 2015 November 4, 2016

Did you ever have the feeling that your blood is boiling and fire will soon flare out of your nose? Why? Because your partner is looking at, or talking to the beautiful girl beside you at the bar! However in reality, he is simply being polite and asking if she can make space for him to order something for the both of you. If this situation sounds familiar to you, then you are part of the Jealousy Club. Welcome. There are many of us. I have been a member since my first relationship, but thankfully I have killed this horrific habit throughout the years.

What can we do to overcome the battle with the Jealousy Demon? Sometimes I fear that jealousy over a partner can last for a lifetime, but actually it really is possible to work on this and destroy this monster! Do we have the power within ourselves to send this jealousy demon back to hell, where he belongs?

This brings me back to a story about my close friend Jilli. She went with her new love, Leo, to a club in Frankfurt. They had a few drinks and hit the dance floor. It was a lovely Saturday night, and the place was filled with beautiful people. They were dancing and having a great time, when all of a sudden, she spotted a pretty blonde woman smiling and winking at Leo! Jilli looked at him and noticed that he was smiling in the direction of this woman. Jilli felt the evil green claws of the Jealousy Demon scratching her from the feet to the throat. She turned around and walked towards the bar with a mission to drown her anger with a vodka shot. Leo rushed after Jilli, not knowing what happened, and why she walked away from him. She told him what she saw. He couldn’t believe her words! He loved her so much and swore that he would never do anything to hurt her. He said that his look in this particular direction was a coincidence, and that he didn’t even notice the woman that Jilli mentioned! Leo is a very tall and handsome man. It’s normal that he gets attention from women that find him very attractive, but he doesn’t do anything to instigate this. It’s not his fault that women stare at him. Jilli was very upset and walked out of the club, while confused Leo was running after her. Outside, the full effect of the vodka hit them both. Emotions were rising, and hurtful words were being said. What started off as a romantic evening turned into a horrific rollercoaster ride to hell and back. Until this day, Jilli doesn’t know if Leo was flirting back with that girl or not, but the only thing that’s left is the question if she trusts him or not? What could she do, it was his word against her alcohol-tainted impression of that evening.

Most of us have stared the Jealousy Demon directly in the eyes. Sometimes, this lifeless demon enters your body, and tortures you alive, until it has killed everything that you truly love! If I analyze various situations, I would say that jealousy in love comes from insecurities. We are not made of stone. We have feelings and emotions. The best way to overcome these insecurities is to work on ourselves, and learn to love and accept ourselves as we are – with our flaws and imperfections! Jealousy can also occur because of many other reasons. One of them is because we are afraid to lose our partner to the “competition”. There will always be a prettier, taller, skinnier, smarter and cuter woman than us. At the same time, another woman might think that you are the prettier one. Another reason might be that we make false interpretations of the behavior of our partners (Jilli thought that Leo was looking at the other woman, while he swore that he did not). These are simply wrong assumptions! A painful situation from the past might also influence jealousy, or not enough attention from your partner might also be the problem.

With jealousy we are hurting our partner in the process, but even more, we are ourselves the most! I am not saying that you must accept a cheating man/woman, but try to examine the situation and see if your fears can be really backed up by solid facts? Sometimes we see something from the corner of our eye that we think is a fact, when in reality all is not as it seems. What I can advise you is to have an open and honest communication with your partner. As hard as it may be, try to talk calmly about the situation before exploding at them.

Aside from our own insecurities, jealousy mostly occurs because of a trust issue. You must open up to your partner and talk about it. Trust is the most important element of a healthy relationship. Without it, the Jealousy Demon will constantly come back to haunt you. If your partner is awful to you, and gives you a reason not to trust them, then you must re-evaluate your relationship. However, if your partner doesn’t give you a reason not to trust them, then the problem lies within you. One must search deep within her/himself to figure out what makes them so jealous. This is a very hard and awkward process, but if you have the strength to do this, then you will find a way to beat this battle within you. Some people say that jealousy is a sickness, but I think that it’s like an allergy that you either try to eliminate throughout the years, or learn to live with. The choice is yours to make.

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Photo by: David Helmrich

Galia Brener
January 30, 2015
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Bitchiness between women

Bitchiness between women https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Galix3.jpg 640 250 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g January 30, 2015 March 16, 2015

It’s Saturday afternoon, and you have a date to meet the girls for a nice lunch in the city. You leave the house wearing your favorite outfit. Your hair is flowing in the wind, and your lips are shimmering in the sun. You enter the restaurant feeling happy and confident. Your girlfriends are waiting for you at the corner table, waiving at you to come over. You get there, sit down… and surprise surprise; you get a nasty look from a woman at another table! The crazy thing is, you don’t even know her!

Why is she looking at me like that? Is the question most of us women ask ourselves when confronted with such bitchiness and undeserved hatred. Why? Simple answer: because of our insecurities. Be honest to yourself, how many times did you judge a woman you do not even know simply because of her outer appearance? All women do this. A sexy blonde gets into an expensive car, and you automatically think to yourself, “Which man is she sleeping with or had to divorce to get that?” It’s shameful, but we all do this. Well my dear ladies, its time to STOP.

Lack of confidence: it is a normal human reaction to elevate one’s own self-esteem by bringing someone else down. Thoughts like these make us feel better about ourselves: “She looks easy to get. I’m not cheap like her” or “She is fat and not attractive, so why do the men look at her?” (This is not an opinion, it’s a judgment). Who the hell are we to judge another woman? The sad part is that by doing this, we are not working on ourselves to become stronger and better women, but rather we make ourselves more miserable and vulnerable. Having such feelings and thoughts about others shows that you must improve your self-esteem. No need to feel bad, many have the same issue, but this can be and should be worked on! I dealt with these issue, and honestly, I think we all have had them at one point in our lives!

Jealousy: one of the most evil feelings that exist on the Earth. There is no reason to put down another woman simply because we don’t have what she does, such as: success, happiness, wealth, a great husband, good body, etc. In fact, you should become friends with such fabulous women, and try to learn from them. If they have this, then they must be doing something right. Being open and willing to learn is the key! Girlfriends are there to help you grow. Jealousy is a nasty little devil that will eat you from within! Best to stay away from it completely.

Fear: of being second best. Or even last. You cant, and shouldn’t always be the best. Why? This is so strenuous! Don’t be afraid that the beautiful woman standing behind you will steal your boyfriend away. Stop noticing that her legs are longer than yours. So what, even if they are? There will always be girls with longer legs than yours. There will always be girls with shorter legs than yours. This is not a competition: you are who you are. That’s it. No more to it. Love yourself as you are. When you truly do, you will see how things will radically change for you! I asked many men about this fact, and almost all of them said that personality and charisma always win! Being bitchy (zickig) towards other women is a waste of time. Instead, work on your charisma and be a kind, charming, friendly and lovely woman. The ego creates fear. The ego sees others who are better as a natural enemy. Do not be weak, and don’t let your ego control you.

A girlfriend of mine, lets call her Karma, met a well-known model in Frankfurt. They went on a few dates, and she decided to sleep with him. The sex was nice, but she couldn’t connect with him on a mental level. She loved having deep, interesting conversations, but couldn’t do this with him. So she stopped seeing him. He called, but she told him that she didn’t feel the connection. After a while, Karma received a letter from a woman saying that she was his girlfriend at that time! The woman accused her of stealing him away from her. She was rude to Karma, and tried to humiliate her. Sadly, Karma didn’t know this at all! He told her that he was single. Instead of being angry at the stupid guy, this foolish woman took it out on poor Karma. Why? This is so evil and cruel. It was his fault. He lied to both of the women! When will we ever grow up ladies, and see that we have to stick together and support each other, instead of hating each other?

We are not animals. We differentiate from animals because we have the intelligence to inquire into the truth and meaning of our existence. If you spend your time being bitchy to other girls, how will you ever evolve and find your meaning here? You need your time and energy to do something real, enjoy life, make love, succeed at your career, travel, sing, dance, whatever… but certainly not waste time judging other women. Doesn’t that seem petty compared to your existence on the planet? You have bigger and better things to do!

Try this experiment (It always works for me): Next time you see a random woman and want to judge her, push your nails into your palm. The feeling is not the nicest, but the pain will automatically stop your bad thoughts. When you give some innocent lady a bad stare, do the same. When you talk negatively about a woman at your work, do the same. Eventually you will stop. You don’t need this evil inside of yourself. Get rid of this, and open yourself up to goodness. Women, like you, are wonderful, beautiful, caring, nurturing, loyal and empathetic. We should support one another, instead of making it harder for each other in this male-dominated society. It’s time to stop being enemies and become friends.

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Galia Brener
May 16, 2014
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The Evil “Friend”

The Evil “Friend” https://www.galiabrener.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Gali_feature_dreaming.jpg 1354 437 Galia Brener Galia Brener https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/93df0625fa48660aad1c99698d5d7757?s=96&r=g May 16, 2014 March 16, 2015

Be careful whom you let into your life, because some women are cruel, egoistic, conniving, and have an ice block where the heart is meant to be – and they will stop at nothing to get what they want. They are like a vampiric hurricane that storms into your life, sucks out your energy, destroys the love you have with your man, copies your identity and style, spoils your good friendships and contacts, kills your career, ruins your life and “innocently” walks away after. However, can such an evil girlfriend simply get away with such brutal behavior, or will Lady Karma eventually catch her by the hair, and make her wish that she was never born? To all the evil girlfriends out there, rest assured that Karma will always strike back.

This brings me back to a very unfortunate situation that my friend Ambrosia went through last year. She had a good friend whom she has known for many years – let’s call her “GreyMouse”. These two did everything together. They were the classical definition of best friends, and were literally inseparable. One day, Ambrosia met a really wonderful guy. They fell in love quickly, and started a warm, passionate and intense relationship. They had some occasional fights, but the love was quite strong. Strangely though, after Ambrosia met her love, she felt that GreyMouse was acting weird towards her. She felt jealousy and hatred coming from her. She was saying and doing things that hurt her very much, but because Ambrosia has a heart of gold, she let a few things go, keeping in mind that GreyMouse was her “very good friend”. This however had already created a huge warning sign blinking in Ambrosia’s head!

One day the bomb was dropped! After a year and a half of being together with her man, Ambrosia was trying to keep the relationship strong because they had some fights and problems along the way. They were at a very sensitive point, where a drama would destroy their bond. That’s exactly what happened. One evening they went out for dinner in a large group. GreyMouse sat beside Ambrosia’s boyfriend, and she was flirting with him while some funny stories were told. She wrapped her hands around his biceps saying how strong he was, and even poked her finger inside of his shirt, joking about his muscular hairy chest. Ambrosia hated it, but let it go, knowing that she was her good friend. Later on she saw GreyMouse talking to her guy outside, and wondered what the secrecy was all about. As she approached them, she heard GreyMouse saying, “…but you have to know something about Ambro, she likes to argue, have fights and needs drama in her life! She lives on it.” Ambrosia stopped mid-step and felt like the Earth was removed from her feet. What a vicious betrayal! After that sentence, her guy looked at her with completely different eyes. They broke up a month after this scenario, and in their last fight, he said, “GreyMouse was right! You just love to argue and need this drama in your life! I don’t want this anymore.” That hit her like a block of cement on the face! GreyMouse implanted a thought in his head that night, and he subconsciously accepted it as a “fact”. His mind registered: “If her best friend says this about her, then it must be true, because she knows her better than I do, so I will believe it”. Then it was over.

Ambrosia was destroyed for many months after that. She took the breakup very hard and was not able to move past it for a long while. Her heart was shattered into a million pieces! Why the hell did her friend say this awful crap about her to her boyfriend? What was the need to betray her in such a cruel way? But such evil actions never go unpunished. Karma will always fly down to do her job properly. She is a lady on a mission, and she misses nothing and no one! Sometimes it takes a week, sometimes it takes some years, but Karma’s work always gets done! Evil also has a way of functioning like a boomerang – and it will strike back the person that released it in the first place. Ambrosia heard that GreyMouse has some misfortunes in her life. She told me last week that she wishes no one harm, but as we see, Lady Karma always completes her work.

Ladies, please choose carefully who you allow to enter your lives. Not everyone is genuinely happy for you! – Especially not those evil women pretending to be your good friends. Therefore, share as less as possible about your life and relationship details. The less personal information you expose to such snakes, the less jealousy and destruction will occur. Unless it’s a super trusted old friend, otherwise keep your business to yourself! Open up your eyes and pay attention to the small signs and things these people say and do. If you feel that something is not right, it usually isn’t. If you see there is too much jealousy and negativity, the best method is to remove them from you life immediately. Hatred and jealousy should not have a place in your life, and you must not let such people close to you, otherwise you will regret it. Like my Mama always says, “Who needs enemies if one has such evil friends!” So please be careful and look closer at whom your real friends are. Remove poisonous women out of your life – the sooner, the better!

jealousy

Can you live without Love?

Best Friend or Enemy?

Jealousy kills relationships!

Bitchiness between women

The Evil “Friend”

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