insecurity

Love yourself and overcome your insecurities.

Love yourself and overcome your insecurities. 1200 400 Galia Brener

I would like to introduce myself again. My name is Galia Brener, and in high school people called me “Pepperoni pizza”. I had horrible acne. Grotesque pimples decorated my face, chest and back. I used to cover half of my face with my hair, and walk around like “Cousin It” from the Addams Family. I still have scars on my face and chest. Up until a few years ago, I would conceal this with heavy makeup, but now, I just don’t give a damn anymore. I threw out all of that hideous makeup. Too many years of crying for nothing!

 

Do you feel/think that: You are overweight? You have acne? You are too short? Too tall? Too skinny? Not smart or pretty enough? You feel like an alien alone on this planet because you’re different? Don’t worry, you are not alone. Listen to Pepperoni Pizza’s advice: Who cares what the others say or think. BE WHO YOU ARE, and be proud of it! “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” That’s my favorite quote from Oscar Wilde.

 

These insecurities take lots of joy and happiness away from us. For the first 20 years of my life I felt terrible about my face. Eventually, I got so sick and tired of hiding behind my hair and makeup. Those are just “illusions”. Even through the makeup, one could see the scars and acne. And even through the baggy long clothing, one can see your full curvy (beautiful!) body. So how long are we going to hide behind these “protectors”? And is this really protecting us, or making our insecurities worse?

 

My friend “Honey” is a European size 44, and is drop-dead gorgeous! She dated a man that treated her very badly. He always called her fat. Finally she had the courage to dump him. She was depressed and ate chocolate day and night to comfort her soul. Being a good friend, I ate the kilos of chocolate with her, while crying and laughing together. After we both gained one more clothing size, we decided to go to a party. Honey saw a tall, handsome, olive-skinned man with eyes as bright as the Jaguar XKR-S French Racing Blue color! He is a well-known basketball star (Let’s call him J). She fell in love at first sight! Later on, he approached her with a glass of wine, and they spent the rest of the evening chatting. Today they are still happy together. Sadly, Honey continues with her diets. She looses and gains weight, but J never cares about it. He loves her for who she is. The only person that cares about the weight is Honey herself. That’s a damn shame, because she is curvy and extremely beautiful, but doesn’t see or feel it!

 

So who really notices all of your imperfections? YOU! Sorry to tell you this, but you are your worst enemy. Just like I was mine. I hated my pimples, so I squeeze them. Unfortunately that made them even worse and left scars! It was disgusting and awful. I was trapped in my own dark hell inside of my head. What helped me later was to acknowledge and concentrate on my strengths! Are you good at art, cooking, sports, design, dancing, singing, etc? If so, spend more time doing these things and less time criticizing yourself. Do not constantly talk about your flaws with others. Instead, mention your good traits!

 

Here are a few steps that helped me to overcome my insecurity issues:

 

1: Ignore non-constructive insults, judgments and criticism about you and your body.

2: Let go of past emotional garbage. It’s a decision of letting go and starting a fresh cycle.

3: Don’t try to always please others. You’ll never be able to satisfy everyone. Think of yourself too!

4: Avoid negative and toxic people. Keep them out of your life!

5: Stop your negative thoughts. As soon as they start, block them by thinking of something completely different. Don’t give such destructive thoughts a chance to upset you!

6: Stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t copy others and accept your uniqueness.

7: Attack your worries and fears. Face them head-on! I hated going out into the sunlight with my acne because everyone could see it. I spent my days at home after school, like a damn vampire. So sad and pathetic. Enough! Face your fears! Buy that sexy dress, even if you feel that you are too curvy for it. Just do it and wear it with pride!

8: It’s time to start loving and respecting yourself. If you wont, then the others wont either! Show others how you want to be treated.

9: Set goals for yourself, and when you achieve them, reward and treat yourself.

10: Become more positive in your thoughts and actions. Be happy!

 

Please promise me that once you feel strong inside, try to help others to get to such a wonderful place as well. Look outside at what is happening in this crazy world. We are there to help each other. But before we can do so, we must start by helping ourselves. I wish you lots of good luck, strength and energy for your mission. Everything will be ok!

 

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Bitchiness between women

Bitchiness between women 640 250 Galia Brener

It’s Saturday afternoon, and you have a date to meet the girls for a nice lunch in the city. You leave the house wearing your favorite outfit. Your hair is flowing in the wind, and your lips are shimmering in the sun. You enter the restaurant feeling happy and confident. Your girlfriends are waiting for you at the corner table, waiving at you to come over. You get there, sit down… and surprise surprise; you get a nasty look from a woman at another table! The crazy thing is, you don’t even know her!

Why is she looking at me like that? Is the question most of us women ask ourselves when confronted with such bitchiness and undeserved hatred. Why? Simple answer: because of our insecurities. Be honest to yourself, how many times did you judge a woman you do not even know simply because of her outer appearance? All women do this. A sexy blonde gets into an expensive car, and you automatically think to yourself, “Which man is she sleeping with or had to divorce to get that?” It’s shameful, but we all do this. Well my dear ladies, its time to STOP.

Lack of confidence: it is a normal human reaction to elevate one’s own self-esteem by bringing someone else down. Thoughts like these make us feel better about ourselves: “She looks easy to get. I’m not cheap like her” or “She is fat and not attractive, so why do the men look at her?” (This is not an opinion, it’s a judgment). Who the hell are we to judge another woman? The sad part is that by doing this, we are not working on ourselves to become stronger and better women, but rather we make ourselves more miserable and vulnerable. Having such feelings and thoughts about others shows that you must improve your self-esteem. No need to feel bad, many have the same issue, but this can be and should be worked on! I dealt with these issue, and honestly, I think we all have had them at one point in our lives!

Jealousy: one of the most evil feelings that exist on the Earth. There is no reason to put down another woman simply because we don’t have what she does, such as: success, happiness, wealth, a great husband, good body, etc. In fact, you should become friends with such fabulous women, and try to learn from them. If they have this, then they must be doing something right. Being open and willing to learn is the key! Girlfriends are there to help you grow. Jealousy is a nasty little devil that will eat you from within! Best to stay away from it completely.

Fear: of being second best. Or even last. You cant, and shouldn’t always be the best. Why? This is so strenuous! Don’t be afraid that the beautiful woman standing behind you will steal your boyfriend away. Stop noticing that her legs are longer than yours. So what, even if they are? There will always be girls with longer legs than yours. There will always be girls with shorter legs than yours. This is not a competition: you are who you are. That’s it. No more to it. Love yourself as you are. When you truly do, you will see how things will radically change for you! I asked many men about this fact, and almost all of them said that personality and charisma always win! Being bitchy (zickig) towards other women is a waste of time. Instead, work on your charisma and be a kind, charming, friendly and lovely woman. The ego creates fear. The ego sees others who are better as a natural enemy. Do not be weak, and don’t let your ego control you.

A girlfriend of mine, lets call her Karma, met a well-known model in Frankfurt. They went on a few dates, and she decided to sleep with him. The sex was nice, but she couldn’t connect with him on a mental level. She loved having deep, interesting conversations, but couldn’t do this with him. So she stopped seeing him. He called, but she told him that she didn’t feel the connection. After a while, Karma received a letter from a woman saying that she was his girlfriend at that time! The woman accused her of stealing him away from her. She was rude to Karma, and tried to humiliate her. Sadly, Karma didn’t know this at all! He told her that he was single. Instead of being angry at the stupid guy, this foolish woman took it out on poor Karma. Why? This is so evil and cruel. It was his fault. He lied to both of the women! When will we ever grow up ladies, and see that we have to stick together and support each other, instead of hating each other?

We are not animals. We differentiate from animals because we have the intelligence to inquire into the truth and meaning of our existence. If you spend your time being bitchy to other girls, how will you ever evolve and find your meaning here? You need your time and energy to do something real, enjoy life, make love, succeed at your career, travel, sing, dance, whatever… but certainly not waste time judging other women. Doesn’t that seem petty compared to your existence on the planet? You have bigger and better things to do!

Try this experiment (It always works for me): Next time you see a random woman and want to judge her, push your nails into your palm. The feeling is not the nicest, but the pain will automatically stop your bad thoughts. When you give some innocent lady a bad stare, do the same. When you talk negatively about a woman at your work, do the same. Eventually you will stop. You don’t need this evil inside of yourself. Get rid of this, and open yourself up to goodness. Women, like you, are wonderful, beautiful, caring, nurturing, loyal and empathetic. We should support one another, instead of making it harder for each other in this male-dominated society. It’s time to stop being enemies and become friends.

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