flirting

It’s a proven fact that people want to be happy, and therefore they gravitate towards other happy people. I hear many women complaining that when they go out, they hardly ever meet anyone – and this coming from attractive and successful women! Why is that? What are they doing wrong? Well ladies, it’s not just about looking fabulous and wearing your best dress and shoes when going out. The best accessory you must always wear – is actually the one you were born with, and is part of your natural beauty – your smile! Body language is more important than you may think it is. You can have the most luxurious outfit on, long beautiful flowing hair and the nicest make – but without a genuine smile and happiness in your eyes, forget about meeting potential partners. Sour and bitter are the flavors of the past. Welcome 2014, the sweet year of happiness, love and beautiful smiles!

During the holidays, my friend Jilli went out with the girls and they decided to make an experiment. They started the evening off at their favorite bar in Frankfurt, The Parlour. Jilli was chosen as the “Smiling-Happy-Goddess”, Gloria as the “Too-Cool-For-You-Bitch” and Claudia as the “Sad-Little-Cookie-Help-Me-Girl”. The experiment was to see which attitude-style would have a better chance to meet someone. All three of them looked drop-dead gorgeous this evening. They sat at the bar exactly in the middle of the room, to see and be seen. The bartender made them delicious signature Parlour drinks, and so the experiment began! Shortly later, two tall handsome men arrived and sat beside them. The dark-haired one looked at Jilli a few times, and she returned his glance with a smile. She kept talking to the girls, telling them a story with a lot of action, laughing out loud, with her hands swinging everywhere. She glanced back at the guy and flashed him another warm smile, and his attention was immediately on her. The man introduced himself to Jilli, and they had a very nice conversation. He also gave her a compliment on her beautiful bright smile. It worked! Since this was a serious experiment for the sake of dating research, the girls stayed strictly in their roles. The second guy attempted to talk to Gloria, but after a few minutes, the conversation went nowhere. She did not smile at all, and had to stay cold and expressionless in her role. Meanwhile, Claudia continued looking sad and distant, and no man approached her.

The ladies were having a really fun evening, and decided to take their experiment to a party. Jilli dragged the ladies onto the dance floor, and the test continued. Claudia spotted a group of guys and made eye contact. However it was not kindly returned, because her sad eyes did the opposite and repelled the men away. Next came Gloria with her killer-cool-bored-look, but also with nothing in return. Then Jilli beamed her gorgeous open smile, and within minutes the gentlemen were dancing closer to them. After a few more songs, more eye-catching looks and warm smiles, the birthday boy came over, and offered Jilli a drink. Obviously the experiment worked, so the girls gave up their rolls and decided to join in on the fun. Almost immediately one of the guys in the group told Claudia that she looks much better with a smile upon her face! Again a proven fact – happiness attracts people. All three girls had a really wonderful evening and came home wearing three very beautiful, and happy smiles. One of them really likes the guy she met that night, and has been in touch with him ever since!

Many women are negatively influenced by the media, fashion and beauty industry. However, the facial expressions they see and unconsciously copy from the magazines and TV are definitely not open, warm or sincere. They copy the mimic of runway models or action hero actresses, and they end up looking cold, expressionless, bored and simply “Too cool for you”. Many glossy magazines advise women to walk around with a cool aloof facial expression, and not appear to care too much. They call this the “hard to get” appearance, which should attract men. Unfortunately exactly the opposite happens, and this does not attract men at all. As a matter of fact, it scares most men off! I asked a few of my male friends, and they all said they would never approach a woman that looks arrogant, bored, cold or distant.

Another important fact is what seems like “obvious” flirting for us women, is really not enough for men to get the point that we are interested. If you go up to a man and ask for the time, or a lighter and quickly walk away after, he will not get it. Men do not understand those subtle signs of attention. You need to be a bit more direct by making obvious eye contact, and flash him that seductive irresistible smile of yours. If you do that a few times, while keeping your eyes locked with his longer and longer each time, then he will get the point. I know it’s 2014, but I am still old-fashioned, and believe in men approaching the women. You are a Lady, so let him come to you first. In order for him to feel confident in doing this, give him the direct signs that you are interested in him. Please do not overdo it with the smiling, so he doesn’t think that you have a nervous tic. Avoid looking bitchy, mean, aggravated, cold, arrogant and bored. Please no runway-killer-too-cool-for-you look either. Be open and approachable, calm and happy, but definitely not too easy or desperate looking. Try to find the successful balance of easy-going and being open for new contacts. After all, men are hunters, so let them do the hunting and feel proud for finding such a wonderful catch, such a fabulous, amazing woman – you! Good luck, have fun, and don’t forget to smile!