Have you ever met a man and dated him for a while, but when the breakup approached, he seemed to be a completely different person? Can it really be that our Prince Charming is in fact nothing but a cheap pretender? Usually what you see towards the end of a relationship is the true face of the person you have been dating all along. The only difference is that the bubble has been burst, and your rose-tinted glasses have been violently ripped off, revealing a harsh reality that feels like a wet slap on the face!
Is he genuinely who you think he is, or do you imagine him better in your mind than he actually is? From my personal experience, if I really like someone – especially at the beginning – I tend to close my eyes on the small strange things he does or says. We often sell lies to ourselves like, “Oh he didn’t really mean that”, or “It was probably a joke.” Or the best ever, “He won’t do that again for sure.” Well guess what, he will do it many times again, and he did mean it – because he might not actually be the Prince Charming that he’s selling himself to be! That’s why it’s important to pay attention to the small things he does at the beginning, because the truth always comes out. My father uses a great expression, “Measure nine times, but cut only once!” What does it mean in this case? It tells us to get to know a person better before idiotically throwing our heart helplessly at him!
My friend Sharon went through something quite similar a few months ago. She met a guy, and the attraction was instantaneous. They started dating and things moved quite quickly between them. At the beginning, he was the perfect “duplication” of a fairytale gentleman, but after the initial fake-pink-fluffy months were gone, the nauseating truth set in. Some things really bothered her, like him looking at other women, his tone of voice was often rude, along with some respect less comments thrown at her – of course disguised as “jokes.” His lack of generosity and his aggressive mind-games also irritated her, however she never confronted him about these issues! I didn’t understand why she was silent about it, but she said she didn’t want to lose him. As the months passed by, his behavior got worse and worse until one day he heartlessly broke up with her, and didn’t even look back. By then it was already too late because she was insanely in love with him. A few weeks later we found out that he cheated on her during half of their relationship!
Ladies here is a big warning: if you love him blindly, and continue dreaming that he’s your true prince, even though he can be an asshole to you, then you will end up falling flat on your face. Believe me, I’ve been there before. If you notice after a few months of dating that something is wrong with him and his behavior, please do the following:
1. Open up your eyes and ears, listen and observe carefully what he does and how he acts and reacts. How is he around children, animals and elderly people? Is he caring, kind and attentive? Is he compassionate and respectful? Is he trustworthy and generous? Let him do some talking, and listen carefully to what he says. Some of the players can be really good liars, like saying they want to have a family and settle down soon, just to get you to fall for him. Please pay attention when he is off guard, and not in his “trying to get into your pants routine”.
2. Talk to him openly about what bothers you. Don’t be scared that it’s “too soon” for a discussion or that this can jeopardize the new relationship.
3. Clear out the issue with him, and make sure he understands that you don’t like to be treated that way!
4. If he still keeps repeating his moronic behavior, then you have to realize that he is not the Prince Charming you thought he was.
5. Make it or break it, but don’t ignore the warning signs! If you do, they will come back to haunt you at a later time with a vengeance.
Ladies I cannot stress enough how important it is to check him out before serving your heart to him on a silver platter. You don’t want him to eat your heart rare and bloody, and spit out the rest on the floor, do you? I don’t mean to sound cold and calculating, but I would advise you to be smart and choose well! Always remember that actions speak louder than words, so see how his actions are towards you. Everyone can make promises, but deeds are what really count! I do not want to see you getting hurt by a senseless idiot, so please girls, try to open your eyes, and let him show his true intentions for you. If you see that he indeed has long-lasting intentions for you, then you can offer him your heart. By the way, there is nothing wrong with letting him make some effort to get you …