egoistic

Are you a slave to your EGO?

Are you a slave to your EGO? 1080 530 Galia Brener

Hello, my name is EGO, and I am here to destroy your relationships. I am your best friend, and in fact, I am you! Let me teach you our rules: you better damn know that we are always right! They hurt us, so we must punish them by becoming distant, cold, and letting them suffer. Let’s stay mad, and not talk to them for a few days, see how they feel about that! That will teach them a big lesson, and make them crawl back to us, begging for forgiveness. I am the best, smartest, most intelligent, fantastic thing that exists. I am the EGO after all! My way of doing things is always the best. Everyone must do things my way, because I am a control freak! I must warn you about our enemy “Love”. Being your ego, I want what’s best for you. I take care of you, and make sure you are always protected against the enemy. Love is very tricky. Love always wants me to listen to the other side of the story, and also admit when I am wrong! Can you believe it?! Love requires a strange thing called “compromising”. It’s totally beneath me. I do not do compromising since my opinion is the right one, why should I agree with anyone else? They must only agree with me! If Love doesn’t understand that, then she can drown herself in the toilet. I will be happy to push the handle and watch her flush down, where she belongs. My name is EGO, and I am the only one who truly cares about you. I want the best for you! I adore always saying “I”, since “I” am the center of the Universe!

Sounds funny right? Unfortunately, that’s what happens in the minds of most people. Maybe not to such a drastic extent, but everyone’s Ego has gotten in the way of their happiness, at least once in their lives.

My friend Cindy told me a story about her boyfriend. They loved each other very much. Unfortunately after a few months, both started having problems with their jobs. This stressed them out, and made them fight. They had long talks, and Cindy realized what her mistakes were. She wanted to compromise and make the necessary steps to heal the relationship. She loved him more than the air she breathed. He continued to be cold and distant, even though she made such a huge effort to come towards him, and understand him. She opened her heart to him, and explained why these problems occurred, because she waned them to find a path together for the future. Cindy managed to step over her ego, and did all she could to save the relationship. His mistakes also created problems and fights, but he wouldn’t admit it. With horror, she realized, “How can a man suddenly turn off his love and emotions towards her, when he supposedly loved her so much?” And then the bitter truth struck her. He never did truly love her. A man that genuinely loves his woman is happy when she wants to make compromises, and save the relationship. Everyone is different when entering a relationship, and only compromises can save true love. Throwing something away is quite easy. His ego and pride were standing in his way. He couldn’t see beyond, and it made him weak. Due to this, he lost the person that loved him more than anyone ever did or will. He will realize this as time goes by, when sadness and regret settle deep in his broken heart. By then, it will be too late.

To be able to “truly” love, you must drop the ego. The Ego knows no difference between male or female. We all have this evil inside of us. The Ego sticks its wicked claws into the person, controls them, and usually ruins their loves and lives. It must be controlled and not given any power! For example feeling jealousy, or feeling the need to argue with your partner until s/he admits that you are right. These fights usually occur about minor issues, and during times of stress. You might think that the other is taking advantage of you, and your point of view is less important then theirs. My advice to you is, don’t sweat the small stuff, simply let it go! You cannot always be right. What helps is resisting the temptation to always feel the need to defend yourself. This is actually the Ego defending itself. The Ego will win the argument, but you can lose your partner. Think about it, is this situation worth losing your loved one?

After this initial reaction to a fight, there is sometimes a need to continue punishing the partner. He hurt you, and therefore must pay the price for this. You give him/her the silent treatment, creating mountains of distance between you two. Who will write or call first? How long will you continue to treat your partner this way after the argument? Until the love completely dies? Actually, you are also hurting yourself in the process of this unnecessary harsh treatment.

You must learn to agree to disagree! Learn to compromise! After arguments, the Ego will always try to trick you with doubts, fear, self-defence, re-thinking/evaluating the relationship, thinking “This doesn’t make me happy anymore, I need to protect myself and get out now!” The cold brutal rationality kills any feeling of love that you both established before. There will be fights once in a while, but you must be ready to let the issue go, or not only give blame, but also take blame upon yourself. Even Soul Mates are challenged with fights, in order to determine if their love for each other is real and strong. Be brave and tame your Ego. Build your own inner strength! This will not humiliate you, quite the opposite actually, this will make you strong and brave! How much longer do you want to be a slave to your Ego? If you are not willing to adjust to each other and work together on your relationship, then do yourself and your heart a favor, do not fall in love at all.

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Can you live without Love?

Can you live without Love? 1200 400 Galia Brener

You can’t live with her you can’t live without her. Sometimes you even compromise yourself, your beliefs, your morals and values – in order to have this thing in your life. Her name is Love, and she is a ruthless, egoistic maniac, who will show you what living is all about. She will make the blood rush in your peaceful veins, the adrenalin pump through your guts, and she will even cause your heart to hurt, and almost burst out of your body. But despite all of the ups and downs, the pain and sorrows, good and bad moments, we still yearn for this bittersweet Lady Love to come knocking on our door.

 

My friend Heather was telling me about her long lost love. They were together for 8 years. I still do not have a clue how they made it together for so long – that can only be explained due to magic! Those two are complete opposites of each other. He is serious and conservative, and she is a party queen that can disappear for three days in a row, and come back with stories about meeting the devil himself! They are two squares that make a circle together. They both suffered and enjoyed so much in this relationship – so many makeups and breakups. Slamming doors, tears, screaming, arguing, makeup sex, passion, understanding, romance, miscommunication, desire, fights, compliments, insults, blame and support. They couldn’t live without each other. The love was far from perfect, but so intense! Unfortunately the love came to an end when one of them cheated and a child was made. Heather still speaks of him with tears in her eyes. She told me that she will never forgot him until she dies. Sad. How could it be that something so strong and intense simply breaks in half?

 

We live in a society where giving up is easier than ordering a stinky anchovies pizza. We have to fight for our Lady Love because believe me, if we wont, there will be someone else out there who will gladly give her what she needs, and then she’s gone! That’s life. Things get taken for granted. One day it’s an earth-shattering love, and the next day your best friend is moving into a villa together with your ex husband – whom you still love, but don’t admit. Don’t be a fool, open your heart and tell them that you still love them. You never know… you might save that special love, or otherwise regret it your entire life! Heather regrets it until this day that she had the chance to save her love, but her ego wouldn’t allow her to do so.

 

If love is really such a bitch, than why do we come back for more? Because we are human, and humans were not made to be alone. You can ask the biggest player in his sad, weak moment, and even he will tell you that he wants to have a big love. Unfortunately in the last decades, love was made to appear as something cheesy, for the ultra sappy. It’s totally insane, but being a single, successful, good-looking, strong and not-so-emotional woman these days is considered “cooler” than being a women ridiculously in love – who sends sweet messages to her partner, talks about him all the time with big glittery in-love eyes and draws hearts beside him name. Since when did love get such a negative weak reputation?

 

I know a woman who does this to me – behind my back. Every time I speak to my man in a sweet and loving tone, she turns around and pretends to put her fingers in her throat. Then she says, “Oh Galia, get over it, this is so cheesy. Wake up from your annoying pink bubble, because you are making us puke. It’s all fake!” Eventually I have learned to just look at her and laugh. Poor girl. Where is this reaction coming from – Jealousy? Bitterness? Loneliness? Lack of goodness and purity in her heart? Who the hell knows! Love is a bitch to everyone – but if she can’t get up after being shot down by Lady Love (like all of us), then she will definitely fry in her dark pan like a raw chewy octopus for years to come.

 

Love is a bitch. She gets us all. Some are scared of Lady Love, some run after her, but never catch her. Some try to avoid her, and ironically get thrown into her arms. There is no way of avoiding this mysterious Lady. After we have been beaten by Love, we have two choices: 1. We crawl into our shell and not let anyone hurt us ever again – meaning that we never experience love again! 2. Or we crawl out of our shell – after properly licking our wounds, and try to ride Lady Love again. Do you really want to miss out on the excitement of which freaks you shall meet next? The Freakazoid fun is so priceless! I’m kidding. But on a more serious note, it’s definitely worth trying to find your true love again, even if you have been incredibly hurt in the past. Maybe next time you shall get lucky and meet “The One”? I believe that only the ones with faith will get a true taste of Lady Love. It’s like Russian roulette. Love is a bitch, but we all need her in our lives. She is addictive. She is magical, unforgettable… and she’s coming to get you!

 

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Best Friend or Enemy?

Best Friend or Enemy? 1200 400 Galia Brener

Be careful whom you let into your life, because some women are cruel, egoistic, conniving and have an ice block where the heart is meant to be – and they will stop at nothing to get what they want. They are like a vampiric hurricane that storms into your life, sucks out your energy, destroys the love you have with your man, copies your identity and style, kills your good friendships and contacts, damages your career, ruins your life and “innocently” walks away after. Can an evil friend get away with such brutal behavior, or will Lady Karma eventually catch her by the hair and make her wish that she was never born?

 

This brings me back to a very unfortunate situation that my friend Ambrosia went through last year. She had a good friend whom she has known for many years – let’s call her “GreyMouse”. These two did everything together and were the classical definition of best friends. One day, Ambrosia met a really wonderful guy. They fell in love quickly, and started a warm, passionate and intense relationship. They had some occasional fights, but the love was strong. GreyMouse started acting strange towards Ambrosia. She felt the strong jealousy coming from her and GreyMouse was saying and doing things that hurt her. However, Ambrosia has a good heart and let a few things go, keeping in mind that GreyMouse was supposedly her “best friend.”

 

One day the bomb was dropped! After a year and a half of being together with her man, Ambrosia was trying to keep the relationship strong because they had some fights and problems along the way. They were at a very sensitive point, where a drama could destroy their bond. That’s exactly what happened. One evening they went out for dinner in a large group. GreyMouse sat beside Ambrosia’s boyfriend, and she was flirting with him while some funny stories were told. She wrapped her hands around his biceps saying how strong he was, and even poked her finger inside of his shirt, joking about his muscular hairy chest. Ambrosia hated it, but let it go, knowing that she was her good friend. Later on she saw GreyMouse talking to her guy outside, and wondered what the secrecy was all about. As she approached them, she heard GreyMouse saying, “…but you have to know something about Ambro, she likes to argue, have fights and needs drama in her life! She lives on it.” Ambrosia stopped mid-step and felt like the Earth was removed from her feet. What a vicious betrayal! After that sentence, her guy looked at her with different eyes.

 

They broke up a month after this scenario, and in their last fight, he said, “GreyMouse was right! You just love to argue and need this drama in your life! I don’t want this anymore.” That hit her like a block of cement on the face! GreyMouse implanted a “thought” in his head that night and he subconsciously accepted it as a “fact”. His mind registered: “If her best friend says this about her, then it must be true, because she knows her better than I do, so I will believe it.” Then it was over.

 

Ambrosia was destroyed for many months after that. She took the breakup very hard and was not able to move past it for a long while. Her heart was shattered into a million pieces! Why the hell did her friend say this awful crap about her to her boyfriend? What was the need to betray her in such a cruel way? But such evil actions never go unpunished. Karma will always show up and do her work properly. She is a lady on a mission and she misses nothing and no one! Sometimes it takes a week, sometimes it takes years, but Karma’s work always gets done! Evil also has a way of functioning like a boomerang – and it will strike back the person that released it in the first place. Months later, Ambrosia heard that GreyMouse had some misfortunes in her life.

 

Ladies, please choose carefully who you allow to enter your lives. Not everyone is genuinely happy for you! – Especially not those evil women pretending to be your good friends. Therefore, share as less as possible about your life and relationship details. The less personal information you expose to such snakes, the less jealousy and destruction will occur. Unless it’s a super trusted old friend, otherwise keep your business to yourself! Open up your eyes and pay attention to the small signs and things these people say and do. If you feel that something is not right, it usually isn’t. If you see there is too much jealousy and negativity, the best method is to remove them from you life immediately. Hatred and jealousy should not have a place in your life, and you must not let such people close to you, otherwise you will regret it. Like my Mama always says, “Who needs enemies if one has such evil friends?” Remove poisonous “friends” out of your life – the sooner, the better!

 

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