BDSM: from princess to whore and back?

BDSM: from princess to whore and back? 1408 1611 Galia Brener
BDSM = Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. More and more people are curious about this side of the sexual world, and are willing to try it out. Sex experiments definitely bring a thrill and forbidden pleasure to many couples, but have you ever thought of the negative effects this can have on a relationship? Can you simply switch from being his princess, to his dirty submissive worthless slut and then be his precious princess the next day again? Will there still be love and respect, or is the innocence of sweet love gone?

is one of the main ingredients to a healthy and happy relationship. When a situation occurs that make you question and/or lose respect to your partner, know that it is often the beginning of the end. Let me ask you to think of this scenario in your head for a minute, and be completely honest with yourself: You go to a fetish party with your man wrapped in latex, while you’re holding him on a dog leash and he crawls after you. Will you still see him as your strong loving protecting man and head-of-the-family figure the next day? Or is the respect gone?A friend of mine, let’s call her Lovely, was with her boyfriend Rex for about a year. Their relationship was good and she was happy. They had their occasional small fights, but all in all, she loved him. One day they passed by a fetish store and Rex suggested that they go inside. Hesitating, Lovely agreed. Rex told her that he wanted to try something new with their sex life. He picked out some things, showed it to her and bought it for them. The experiments started off “softly” with a silk ribbon to tie lovely’s wrists together, and a soft leather whip to tease her nipples and slap her gently on the bum. Lovely was not a huge fan of this bondage sex, but she was “ok” with it. She didn’t want to say no to him. She didn’t want to lose Rex. She didn’t want to appear old-fashioned or boring to him. Lovely thought that maybe with some time, she would start to like it as much as he does.


As the months flew by, Rex was becoming curious to try the “harder” BDSM things. He enjoyed being dominant and needed her submissiveness. They visited their friendly neighborhood fetish dealer again, and Rex bought more things. This time there were latex outfits, a whip with spikes on it, a ball gag, strong nipple clamps, spreader bar, restraint set, collar with D ring, anal plug, ropes to tie hands and feet, and more. Lately they have not been having “normal” sex anymore without his equipment, because he said it was boring. Lovely really missed the warm, passionate and loving sex they used to have. Rex was on a high from this new sex lifestyle and wanted more. After some arguments, Lovely agreed to try some of the harder things. She really hoped that because he loves her, he wouldn’t actually go too far and cause her pain. His sex fantasies were spinning out of control, and he called her horrible degrading names while taking her roughly from behind. It was becoming extremely humiliating and physically painful for Lovely, and she started questioning if he really loves her at all anymore. During their normal leisure time he became harsh and colder as well. He lost respect, and Lovely was beginning to hate him. Rex disgusted her. She ended the relationship and didn’t want to see his face again. Lovely heard in the Frankfurt grapevine that apparently he has gotten even worse now. He became a monster.


I have interviewed a few people that live the BDSM lifestyle and they told me that sometimes it’s hard to shut off the roles from one minute to the other. One partner may get possessed by crazy sex ideas, and the other does not follow, and many relationships have been damaged and ended after attempts at a BDSM lifestyle. I have been told that most of the time respect was lost for either one or both partners. Most of them said that causing someone physical pain is not love. One woman was even permanently damaged by the experience and still goes to therapy for it. She said that she could never trust another man, due to the fact that her ex lost respect for boundaries with her. One woman said that it was ok at the beginning and then became harder and painful, and she split up with her husband. What almost all of them said was once they started with BDSM, their partners didn’t want to have “normal” sex anymore. It was boring and too “vanilla plain” for them. Knowing this hurt them because without the sex gadgets, they were not good enough for them anymore. It’s like opening a can of worms, once you start with BDSM sex, the relationship will never be the same again. They said their partners didn’t look so innocently and lovingly at them anymore. Two women sent their husbands to a dominatrix and told them to get their thrill there. With real BDSM, there are no shades of grey at all – you are either all in for the hard game, or out.



Destroy the shit before 2015 – Part 1

Destroy the shit before 2015 – Part 1 1354 437 Galia Brener


It’s that time again when the year is winding down and we are confronted with our demons. Some call this the “Holiday Blues”, thinking they might be depressed, sad or lonely, but it’s much deeper and more important than just that. It’s a crucial time that will determine how you step into the next year and which direction your life will go. This is a tough love article, so I might seem somewhat harsh, but it’s for our own good.

Like it or not, a new year is a “reset”. Even if you don’t believe in this, your brain is subconsciously influenced by the thought of a “new start”. If you are honest with yourself, there are some things that you can change and improve about your life. In order to do so, you must first destroy the existing defective base before you build a new structure. No one builds a new luxury building on a rotten old foundation. Never! First everything is destroyed, cleaned out, and then rebuilt.

This week I deal with the points of elimination and destruction of the bad things in your life that drain your happiness. (Next week I will address how to rebuilt a new foundation).

1. Get rid of the toxic people in your life. Cut off anyone that hurts and drains you. They won’t help you grow and will only deplete your goodness with their needy problems and dramas. Be tough even if it seems merciless. You are not their emotional garbage bin so don’t let them dump their shit in your life. Enough!

2. Forgive. This is a tough point, especially if someone has hurt you badly. Regardless if the were friends, exes or colleagues, forgive all these idiots that hurt you. You are doing this for yourself and not for them! You don’t have to speak to them or see them again – but forgiveness allows you to burn away “your” pain and anger, which is blocking you from the good new things.

3. Say NO. We do too many things to be “good” for others, and sometimes even do what we don’t want to. Stop it immediately and don’t hesitate to say NO! Stop going against yourself. By the way, the others will respect you actually more for standing your ground.

4. Nothing is personal. Remember; when people do or say something mean to you, it’s their issue and not yours! Destroy the ability to let others make you feel bad and guilty for no justifiable reason. Don’t take shit from no one, especially when they are trying to deliberately offend or hurt you.

5. Learn to be selfish. We give and give and give so much, but forget ourselves in the process. The love you gave your ex or so-called friend, give that to yourself now. Love yourself truly, because you deserve it. It’s your life so do what’s good for you.

6. Let go. How willing you are to let go of stinky old garbage depends on how much you truly love yourself. Not letting go brings emotional, physical and mental pain and illness. If you really want to be happy and healthy, then you have no choice but to let go of the past and make place for the good things and people in your life.

7. Destroy all bad habits. Easier said than done? No. If you truly want to be healthy and not die, then you can do it. It’s all about willpower, making that “1 decision” and sticking to it! Stop smoking. Stop taking drugs. Stop drinking alcohol excessively (only in moderation). Stop eating damaging food. If you can’t do it alone, then get external help and stop hurting yourself.

8. Throw away all the junk you don’t need. Like the bad people that collect dust in your life, so do the things that you don’t need. I hate going into homes that are cluttered with “stuff” because I can’t breathe there. Your home reflects your inner self, so why block yourself with useless things? Take a big garbage bag on the weekend, go from room to room, throw away the small crap and destroy the clutter. Keep it simple. Give the clothing and things you don’t need to charity.

Like my Papa always tells me, “Make a solid firm decision and stick to it. Going back and forth will only bring more pain and insecurity.” Some of these 8 points may sound tough, but are necessary in order to move into a better life and a happier new year. We must never stop to work on ourselves and develop for the better. We have this one life, so why deprive ourselves of complete happiness?

Next week comes part 2 about rebuilding the good after the destruction of the bad.

To be continued …

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