Where is your true love?

Where is your true love? 1200 400 Galia Brener
It’s Saturday afternoon and you decide to spend some hard-earned money on a little treat for yourself. As you wander through the city, you can’t help but notice the couples everywhere. Every few meters you see them walking together, as if these annoying lovers are on a mission to show off in front of you today. The handholding, the smiles and whispers, the shared secrets, the kissing and the passion. Is it your imagination, or does it seem like everyone in the city is in love, except you? Damn it, where is s/he already? As you feel a tug on your heart the only way to fill that hole, at this very moment, is to make that “little” present for yourself. You end up coming home with expensive shoes, or a new exhaust pipe for your Harley. It makes you feel happy… but maybe for about a week.


There is a rumor going around about a mysterious lady called “Destiny”. Apparently they say that when she decides the time is right, she sends you love. Sometimes you must go through hell and suffering, while gaining life lessons to be prepared for true love. Other times you have a mission to accomplish before the right one comes. Either way, Madame Destiny calls the shots and therefore this tough bitch is not to be outsmarted. However, there is a way to make the waiting process easier. As hard as it is, it helps to stay busy and with a positive frame of mind. Regardless of what you went through in the past, and we have all gone through some evil crap, you cannot let that get you down. No matter what love tragedy happened to you before, never ever take it with you into the present and future. You must let the past go, or else it can destroy you, and leave you stuck in the bitter darkness. Bitterness and anger repels new good people away.


This reminds me of Natalia’s story. She had been single for years after her boyfriend left her. She thought that he was the love of her life, and they will get married and have a family. Unfortunately the fairytale died. Carrying a broken heart shattered in a million tiny pieces, she tried to find a new love for some years after, but without much luck. What I admire about Nat is that no matter how difficult her dating life was, she never gave up! She always said, “Gali, my time will come and I will also have true love.” Unbelievable to see how convinced she was, especially after such a devastating breakup. Her 40th birthday arrived, and at 12am, she raised her champagne glass and drank, “To love.” Natalia’s married friends felt sad for her. They couldn’t understand why and how such a wonderful woman was still single.


The next morning, hung over and depressed like hell from all the marriage talk, Natalia went to buy some food. She felt like what the cat dragged home last night, with messy hair and puffy eyes, wearing leggings and sneakers. She walked out of the dessert isle with a jar of strawberry jam in her hand, and all of a sudden, BAMM! Some guy bumped into her. She dropped the jar, and the jam splashed all over her shoes, her bag, and the floor looked like thick red blood was splattered all over it. “Jesus! Can’t you watch where the hell you’re………Oh…” She looked up and saw the guy smiling mischievously at her, with a cute guilty look on his face. Half of his jeans were covered in jam as well. They laughed, he apologized and invited her for dinner to make up for the sweet mess. One thing led to another, they got married, and Nat had her first child at 42. Amazing right? How did this happen you ask? Well, Natalia believed in love – against all odds!


What works is to be 100% assured that you deserve to be happily in love. You must be completely convinced that true love is out there and will soon be yours. Why the hell should these grey mice you see walking with amazing men, holding hands, have love and not you? If they find a partner, then so can you! Head up and stand tall, knowing that yours is coming too. You must have complete and unconditional faith. Not thinking, “Oh it’s been so long, I give up. I will never find love.” WRONG! Such thoughts will never ever attract love in your direction. Lady Destiny doesn’t like when people feel negative like this. If you don’t feel that you deserve love, then why should it come to you? Change your thoughts immediately, and things around you will change as well. Make a little experiment, and try it out.


Meanwhile, keep yourself busy. Go out with your friends and dance without looking around for someone to meet, enjoy your hobbies, spend time with your family, discover new food and restaurants, read more, go to galleries, travel, work, get a pet, spend money on yourself, and simply enjoy living – being grateful that you are healthy and alive. And above all, please stay positive and keep the faith, no matter how hard it is! Love will come when you least expect it… I promise you this. It always does.


Keep the Faith!

Keep the Faith! 1354 437 Galia Brener

You just came, or shall I say ‘ran’ home from a date that you do not even want to admit that happened. How did you escape? Did you suddenly remember your great grandmother’s 130th birthday party, which actually starts in one hour, and “Oh no!” you left the birthday present: pet-monkey-in-a-box, underneath the seat of the U4? Or did you pull off the brave “force-yourself-out-of-the-restaurant-bathroom-window” getaway, not caring about the thorny rose bushes below? The main thing is that you got out of there fast, alive, and without a trace – of course not counting the bloody scratches from the roses. Anything, just not to enduring another hour with the date you’ve realized is actually an alien in a dress, or suit and tie. After all, how bad can flying through glass windows really be? I’m sure you will need this talent eventually some day, so consider it good practice for other insane situations. Congratulations! You have escaped the date from hell. You get home to your comfortable couch and think, “Do I ever want to go through that again?” It’s not just about the dates, but also the relationships, and even marriages. It’s about going through those awful experiences, which you never wish to repeat again, yet still miraculously being able to keep the faith in true love! Can you do that; keep the faith?

My best friend Jilli dated a guy last year. Let’s call him “C”. Last December they flew to Paris, to spend a beautiful weekend together. After all, isn’t Paris supposed to be the most romantic city in the world? On Saturday night, they went to Silencio, which is an astoundingly beautiful and mysterious nightclub, designed by David Lynch. The first drinks were ordered, and they went to dance. After some time, C went to get more drinks. 30 minutes have passed… then 1 hour, and he was nowhere to be seen. Jilli became concerned and went to search for him. She found C at the dark bar, with a woman on each side, hugging, laughing and drinking together. In front of them were numerous empty shot glasses and drinks. C had forgotten about her, and seemed to be having a wonderful time with these females. Instead of freaking out, Jilli approached the bar, turned her back to him and introduced herself to the women. After a few shared jokes, Jilli took over their attention, and the ladies had completely forgot about C’s existence. C was dumbly confused at how such a switch could suddenly happen?

While Jilli appeared to be laughing with the ladies, inside, her heart was shattering into a million pieces. Why the hell did she fly to Paris with him? Definitely not to stand alone in a dark club and watch him flirt with and touch other women in front of her face! What the hell was wrong with this imbecile?! She wanted to cry and scream at him; she was hurt and so damn disappointed. But instead, she went back to their hotel, packed her bag, and took the first flight back home alone to Frankfurt. It turned out that C is a suffering entity that keeps looking for the next adventure in order to feel at least half-alive. He sold his young company for multi-million Euros a few years back, and somehow lost touch with reality. Inside, he is extremely lonely, and suffers deeply because he cannot differentiate between which people are around him for his money, or because of him as a person. This is his curse, and therefore, he will never be able to find true love. The sad thing is that Jilli did not see this at the beginning, because he masked his rotten heart with convincing smiles, sweet words and promises. Jilli had true intentions for him, but got extremely hurt in the process. After time had passed, Jilli heard that C still treats all women like worthless pieces of dirt, even though some good ones have crossed his path. His regrets shall come later, when he is old and all alone.

What was Jilli supposed to do after this horror weekend? Give up on men, never go on dates anymore, or give up hope of finding true love? (Same goes the other way around for men in such situations). I believe that you never really know why something is happening, as it’s happening to you. The real reason becomes clear sometime later. In such situations, there are only two things that can be done. First is to have strong and unconditional faith; that good things will come to you when the time is right. What’s also important, is to believe that you deserve this goodness! This strong unrelenting faith is what shall keep you going. This is not easy, but it’s the only way to survive in this harsh dating world. The second choice is to lose faith in the goodness in people, and give up. Once this happens, deep sadness and bitterness sets in, and that’s when the downward spiral begins. It’s quite a dangerous path. However, I personally believe that this is a life lesson, and as strangely as it sounds, may even be a test – to see how much one really believes in and deserves true love. Giving up is the easiest path. It’s actually the strongest individuals who love beyond all imperfections, cry behind closed doors, and fight heartbreaking battles.

Jilli was upset for the following few months. She was angry at herself for falling into such a painful trap. The ego was hurt. But as time passed and grievances were forgotten, the heart still longed to meet a special person, and find true love. Little did Jilli know that one year after the catastrophic time with C, due to her unconditional faith in finding love – especially after such sick experiences – she will be together with her soul mate in Frankfurt, and finally have true love!

The point of this story is that Jilli did not give up, as tempting as it was. Let’s be realistic, we have all had our fair share of absurd dating situations, disappointments, failure of expectations and cruel intentions. But must we give these people the power to discourage and turn us into bitter non-believers? Best is to gather your strength, sense of survival, and not allow such people and situations to damage you. If you have been knocked down, get up, dust yourself off, find the courage and faith within yourself, and continue – knowing that you deserve better! True love really does exist, but you must believe in it.

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