We live in a time surrounded by high-tech gadgets and artificial intelligence, yet the one thing that still confuses mankind is the concept of “true love”. The big problem is that people tend to blame each other, but do they look within themselves to figure out what their own flaws are? No wonder the aliens haven’t arrived yet. The silly humans can’t deal with their own crap, let alone ET.
So now is the moment of truth…
Do you have the guts to admit to any of the questions below?
Do you always like to be right and win an argument? Do you always want to be in control? Is your opinion always the right one, because you think you know better? Do you let your emotions control you and create dramas? Do you make a big deal out of small things? Do you like to argue? Is it hard for you to compromise? Do you feel that people don’t understand you? Are you holding onto disappointment, pain or an ex from the past? Do you have fear of rejection? Do you lose your temper often? Do you get angry fast? Are you hard to get along with? Do you take people for granted? Do you get offended or hurt easily by what people say? Are you too sensitive or not sensitive enough? Are you greedy? Are you selfish and egoistic? Do you use people? Are you a cheater? Do you lie to get your way? Do you play with people’s feelings? Do you speak bad about and hurt others? Do you only take and not give back? Do you overanalyze? Are you a pessimist? Are you jealous? The list goes on and on.
At least 4 of the above questions used to affect me, until one day I decided to be brutally honest with myself and stop this torture. My own foolish behavior was hurting me. I decided to work on myself to become a better person, and give true love a chance to find me and enrich my life.
No one is born perfect, but we must work on ourselves in order to deserve true love.
Life is about learning and growing. I call it self-evolution.
1. Learn from your mistakes: Look back at all your relationships and figure out the pattern. Where have you been wrong? What could you have done better? Perhaps you have chosen the wrong partners? Don’t always date the same “types” – try meeting different kind of people. Be honest with yourself and see what you did wrong in the past. Work on yourself and evolve. Do not repeat your mistakes. If you were or still are an asshole, work on yourself to change and become a better person. It’s never ever too late to become a good human being!
2. Open up your heart to love again: I know this is one of the hardest things to do, especially if you have been hurt in the past! This takes a lot of strength and courage. Many people tend to become cynical and bitter after they have been hurt. However, only the strong can get up, dust themselves off and have the courage to open up to love again. Fact is: if you wont open up anymore, you will never have a chance to meet your true love. We have all been hurt, but would you rather be safe and stay alone, or take a leap of faith and meet someone wonderful?
3. Surround yourself with positive people that are seeking out the good in life: We all have those friends that love to complain about how bad their life is, or how awful men are. Please stay away from such negative people and their dramas! These “friends” influence a negative thinking pattern that you are a victim to bad men/women that will only want to hurt you. Instead, surround yourself with happy, strong, positive and life-loving people. They might even have a good friend to set you up with. Implant your mind with positive thinking patterns!
4. No desperation: Being desperate is the key to failure, hurt and pain. Even if you have been single for years, do not date someone that is bad to you, just for the sake of being in a relationship! Be honest with yourself – is s/he good for you? I always say, better single and happy, than with a partner that makes you feel miserable!
Communicate your needs, thoughts and feelings. S/he is not a psychic. If something is bothering you, say it. Even if you think it’s embarrassing, say it. Do not be afraid to loose him/her. If it’s true love, you will not lose them. You will only gain their respect by being able to talk about and sharing your thoughts, opinions and problems.
The trick to finding true love is by first working on yourself and making sure that you truly deserve it. It’s always easy to point fingers at others, but look at yourself first! Believe me, I have gone through this self-evolution process as well. Once you have the guts to face the truth and work on your flaws to become a better person, true love will find you! Good luck.
Fear. It is a primary emotion in all human beings. What stops most people from following their dreams in life? Fear. Fear of the future. Fear of failure. Fear of not succeeding. Fear of making a fool of oneself. Fear of loss. Fear of being alone. The list goes on and on. This emotion blocks and paralyzes people from going after what they want in life. “Quit my job and start my own business? What if I don’t succeed and go bankrupt?” – but what if you do succeed and achieve greater things than you ever could imagine? Or “I will marry this guy and start a family even if he’s not my first or even second choice. At least I won’t end up alone.” – and what if you waited and actually met the love of your life, instead of taking third-best to avoid being alone? See my point dear readers? Fear makes us stick to the safe beaten path, so that we don’t have to take a risk and fail. But who knows what greatness and happiness we are blocking ourselves from if we don’t take that risk?
My best friend Jilli is a perfect example for this. She worked at an advertising agency for a while as a senior art director. She had a great salary and was settled in her job. However her heart always wished to become an entrepreneur again (like she was some years ago). She had many of her own ideas and visions. She wanted to open her own design company and create unique products for companies. She was so inspired and that was the only thing she talked about. I told her to do it. Go for the gold. Dream big. Worse comes to worse, the company fails and she gets another job at a different agency. Well, it’s been over half a year and her company is doing pretty damn well! She succeeded because she put her fear aside. I always told her that if she doesn’t go after her dream, someone else will hire her to make their dreams come true. Jilli hated hearing this sentence because she knew it was true! Now she is making her own dreams come true. Bravo Jilli, a true warrior at heart. I must mention that Jilli fell down a few times with previous endeavors. Yet she always stood back up again and marched towards her dream. We only have this chance now – in this lifetime.
What if you were guaranteed a 100% chance of succeeding? Would that change anything? Sure it would, because it would remove the fear factor. Well my dear, this is the grand year where many of you will be tested to see how much your fears are controlling you. Why not start to follow your dreams now? The fact is that we are not getting younger, and as everyday goes by, it’s another day wasted without a step towards your big goal. So why not organize your plans, thoughts and options and see what you can do to make that first step. Make a solid plan and go for it! I cannot even begin to tell you how incredible it feels to do what you love. Speaking from a career point of view, I do what I love and I am thrilled everyday to be writing and helping people. This feeling is unbeatable. I would not have been here now, had I not taken the big risk to move to Europe 12 years ago and start my own business. Sure I’ve fallen down a few times and gazed failure in the face, but the success and positive outcome made the hard climb worth it. It’s ok to fall down on the path to success – It’s quite normal actually. All successful people fell down a few times and gotten back up again. Those that take the risk of making their dreams come true are the ones that truly live and fully utilize their life. 2015 is literally the ass-kicking year. Either allow it to help you touch your dream or wallow in the safe corner – a.k.a – your comfort zone. And then wake up at 80 and realize “Wow! It’s over. No chances anymore.” So what shall is be, dream big or go home?