confidence

Is beautiful automatically sexy?

Is beautiful automatically sexy? 1200 400 Galia Brener

Ladies this one is for you. I know that all women have occupied themselves – at least once in their life – with the thought, “Am I beautiful?” Some have more self-esteem, some have less, but at the end of the day, what does “being beautiful” really mean? I asked myself, is “classical beauty” really so important to have? After looking closely at this topic, I realized that a real sensual appeal is not so much connected to the traditional sense of the word “beauty”. In fact, I came to understand that being beautiful does not automatically make one sexy!

 

There is an immense pressure in society for women to assimilate to a standard form of beauty. But guess what dear ladies; the classical definition of beauty has nothing to do with sex appeal and sensuality. Have you ever walked down the street, saw couple where the man is handsome and the woman looks like an average grey mouse, and thought to yourself, “What the hell does he see in her?” To you on the outside, she might not appear to be a beauty, yet there is something about her that is sensual and appealing to him. Whether it’s her feminine walk, the way she pouts her lips when she’s thinking or her extremely big eyes that might look like an alien to you, yet to him she’s a sensual catwoman! In fact, many of the women that do possess classical beauty surprisingly have a low self-esteem, which is quite the opposite of what men are attracted to.

 

I made a very interesting observation. Last week, I was in the train and saw a woman that matches the classical definition of beauty, with perfectly sized and symmetrical facial and body features. Yet surprisingly, she appeared plain. There were no edges or anything unique, which made her stand out and noticeable, yet her features were perfect in themselves. If I saw her again I would not recognize her. That was the moment I actually realized that it’s true what they say: the imperfections are what make people truly unique, noticeable, characteristic, sensual and sexy! The imperfections are the elements that create perfection.

 

My good friend Jilli is a good example for this topic. She admits that she has a big nose, bad skin, her chin is too long and pointy, and she has very thin and sensitive skin, which shows each wrinkle and cellulite that she has. She says about herself, “I am far from being a classical beauty, yet I know that I am damn sexy, and have a very strong and sensual effect on men.” And she’s right. I know in fact that many men like her, write, call, contact her and want to be with her. Her face is very unique and her naturally large lips and eyes blend well together with her aquiline nose and protruding chin. Her features are not symmetrical or perfectly shaped, and she would never fit in the traditional definition of beauty, yet she is one of the most sensual women that I know. Her mysterious smile, and the perfect timing how she looks down to hide an amused glance, or the way she sways her curvy hips when she walks, or how her lips look cute like a duck when looking at her profile, her overly-defined cheekbones and the way her teeth point out on the edges, all contribute to her extreme sensuality. Jilli’s appearance is like sushi: you either love it or hate it, but you will never forget it. She once dated a plastic surgeon that “kindly” wanted to give her nose job for her birthday. While some women would have been ecstatic at this idea, Jilli was appalled at the thought of being put to sleep, having her nose broken and chiseled, having the skin reshaped on the broken nose, and letting the bone and skin heal again. Such pain! And for what? For her superficial doc boyfriend to love her “more” for her smaller nose?! No way! She threw his flakey ass to the curb, where it belongs.

 

Ladies you have to realize that sexiness and sensuality have more to do with your personality, self-esteem, attitude, ability to love and laugh at yourself, your humor, achievements, body language and movements, rather than with your classical beauty features. Rejoice in the fact that the gap between your teeth, your upper lip that’s bigger than your lower, your round bum, your contagious laugh, your curly red hair, your boney knees, your freckled face, your big nose, large forehead, or any other feature that makes you unique, is a wonderful bonus to your appearance. You might be surprised that those things that you don’t like about yourself seem incredibly attractive to others. Those little odd things about you, are your signature trademarks that make you, YOU! Classic beauty tends to be boring and unspectacular, yet unique facial and body characteristics can be extremely hot, sexy and exciting. My advise would be instead of concentrating on the things that you hate about yourself, try to give more attention to the things that you love about yourself, and learn to embrace the odd things about your appearance! Make the best of what you have. Instead of trying to fix what’s not necessarily broken, why not adore what’s already perfectly beautiful about you?

Brener,-Galia_MG_8185

How I got in good shape

How I got in good shape 1354 437 Galia Brener
This one is for the ladies and gentlemen who have asked me how I managed to drop 10 kg and succeeded at looking better, healthier and fitter. This article marks the 2-year Anniversary of writing my column, so I will open up to you today, and tell you how I personally managed my big transformation this year.

It all started on January 1st 2014, when I didn’t fit into my favorite jeans anymore. It was the day after New Year’s Eve, and I looked around the flat, disgusted by the fast food boxes from the nights before. I wasn’t happy with my body, excess fat and cellulite anymore. It always annoyed me to hear people talking about doing sports, getting fit and working out. Even worse were the people talking about eating healthy food, salads, less carbs, blah blah blah. I thought, “How pathetic, what kind of life is that?” I only had pizza and burgers on my mind. I liked to show off that I could eat whatever and whenever I want to. One day, my best friend showed me a bikini photo of us from the previous summer in Ibiza. I was shocked. My stomach was hanging over the bikini bottoms and the cellulite was all over my thighs. My upper arms were flabby and my bum was much more than what I bargained for. I know that happiness comes from the inside, and we should love ourselves no matter what we look like, but I wasn’t happy with what I saw in the mirror. I wanted to be fit and toned!

The very first thing I changed was not to eat after 6pm. I don’t mean no carbs after 6pm, but rather nothing at all! Of course I drink water and tea, but no food at all after this hour. I go to sleep around midnight, so that leaves me with 6 hours to digest the food I ate in the early evening. What I noticed right away was how amazingly flat my stomach was when waking up in he morning! I feel light, and sleep better – since the body is not working on digesting the food that I would usually eat at 9pm or later. I do have to warn you though: it was a living hell at the beginning. The first two weeks were horrendous torture. I would walk around my flat hungry and angry like a monster. What worked was to go to sleep earlier in order to avoid this feeling. After a few weeks, my stomach and body got used to not eating after 6pm, and it was completely normal for me. The nice thing is that I don’t have the energy ups and downs anymore, but rather a constant energy flow throughout the day. I make the rare exception and eat later if I’m out for dinner with friends, but try not to break this rule very often.

I start my day at 8am with a cup of coffee and a big glass of water. I have breakfast around 10am, and eat something light, like cereal, eggs or a small sandwich. I’m not a believer in the Atkins or low-carb diet. I’ve done them and the Ketogenic diet as well, but it’s not for me. Carbs make me super happy, and I can’t deny myself of eating them. Life is short and we have to enjoy! I eat my lunch around 2pm. For me, lunch is the most important meal, and not breakfast. For lunch I usually eat a large salad with chicken or turkey inside. I like Caesar salad, and I’m not afraid to eat the dressing that goes with it, and some bread too. Fish is also good, stuffed peppers, or roasted chicken with vegetable – even with baked, boiled or mashed potatoes. I also like steaks, and once in a while eat it with French fries. I don’t deprive myself of anything! I eat what I love, but all in healthy doses. I still eat burgers, but only 1 or 2 times a month. I eat Thai food, with rice, chicken and vegetables. What I really love is sushi. Soups, vegetable sticks and fruit are great snacks for in between. I don’t eat pizza or pasta – personally for me, it’s too heavy. I usually make a nice sandwich around 5 – 6 pm with fresh vegetables on the side. I don’t eat big things for dinner, mostly a soup, wrap, salad or sandwich. I don’t usually eat desserts, cakes or pastries, because I never liked the heavy sweet taste. However, I’m not afraid to eat a few small pieces of dark chocolate during the day, because it makes me happy.

Around February, I decided to add some fun physical activity again. I tried yoga years before and thought it to be horribly boring and hippie-infested. This year I decided to try it again, and chose a dynamic course. I loved it! It melts the daily stress away, leaving me relaxed and happy. I noticed my muscles slowly developing. It looked sexy, so I started doing yoga twice a week. In April I watched a movie from the 80’s and saw a woman doing some funny Jane Fonda moves at home. A silly thought came into my head, “Why don’t I do this at home?” So I started with sit-ups, push-ups, bum busters, squats and the side plank hip lifts. I started with a small amount of 20 times on each side, and 3 sets. Now I progressed to 50 times and 3 sets. Take your own time and start slowly. Getting in shape takes time and patience! I now also use 2kg weights, and do 30 curls on each side for my biceps and triceps, and also in 3 sets. Depending on my muscle pain the next day, I either skip a day or do these exercises everyday at home. It takes a total of 1 hour for me. I wake up earlier to do them, or in the evening after work. This with yoga 2-3 times a week does the trick for me! I’m not a jogger, and never liked it. It’s boring for me and tough on the knees. But if you like it, then it’s a great cardio workout. I walk around the entire city from appointment to appointment, which is my cardio each day. Sports really help to get rid of cellulite. I see a huge difference, and am so happy with the results!

Last but not least, my most important achievement this year was to quit smoking. Gone are the stinky, horrible, expensive and nasty cancer sticks! It’s been 136 days now, and I don’t plan to touch them ever again. I can’t believe how much more energy I have without smoking. Walking fast and climbing stairs is so much easier now. I gained 3kg as soon as I quit, but I compensated with more sports, and thankfully lost those bloody kilos again. Stopping to smoke slowed my metabolism down, but I noticed that my body is getting back to normal, and is digesting quicker without the nicotine again. It takes time. For those that say I look better now, it’s definitely the non-smoking. The skin heals and renews itself. Also the healthier food and sports help to regenerate the body. What also helps me is 8 hours of sleep, and not drinking much alcohol. I drink wine about 3 times a month, but only a few glasses, and no alcohol at home. Of course don’t forget the usual: drink lots and lots of water, blah blah. No seriously, it really helps. I also take multi vitamins everyday. I won’t lie to you, getting into shape is hard at the beginning. However once you start and see results, you won’t be able to stop. You will feel so happy and proud of yourself! You will be healthier and your clothes will fit you better, and of course this increases the self-confidence a lot. Now I’m one of those annoying people bothering my friends about health and sports, and guess what? I will never go back to the way I was before. New life, new Gali. Come and join my “New-Me-Revolution!”

10600452_10152352480120563_526778129743975986_n

Men love high heels

Men love high heels 1354 437 Galia Brener
This article is feminist-friendly and unfriendly. From the one side, I will describe how heels can win the attention of a man, but on the other side, I will also describe that heels change the way a woman walks and behaves – which does a lot to increase her self confidence. Of course this in return creates strength and love for herself. Who would have thought that high heels could do so much?

As you know, I am always researching for you ladies, and have asked my male friends this same question. Do men like high heels? Yes! Most of the men screamed the answer out right away. Men love it when a woman wears high heels. The best answer I had from a male friend was that he feels privileged and honored when his woman takes the time to make herself look sexy for him, and also wears high heels when they go out. He says it shows that she tries to make an effort for her man to stay sensual and attractive, and not let herself go. This is a very important aspect for men – that their women take good care of themselves and not get sloppy and take that for granted. After all girls, we also don’t want a man who only sits on the couch, drinks beer and grows a huge belly, right? High heels were definitely the first thing the men mentioned to me that they absolutely love when a woman wears. And I don’t mean those 5 cm comfy office pumps. I’m referring to the proper heels that give your back that elegant arch, and make you walk like a cat.

I speak for myself, and my girlfriends when I say that wearing high heels when going out gives you a completely different charisma and radiance. First it affects how you walk, how you position your body and move your hips. I feel much sexier when I go out in heels. They make my legs look longer and thinner, and like it or not, this automatically increases the self-confidence. When I wear my favorite heels, even with an old pair of jeans, I feel like a leopard moving seductively across the dance floor or restaurant. It makes me feel more feminine and powerful. This gives a woman the feeling of assurance, strength and the ability to conquer the world or any man around her. Sure I don’t mean that you must wear heels all day long, that’s quite unhealthy, but for those special occasions when going out, why not give it a try and see if you notice a difference in your body language and assertiveness? I know women that as soon as they have their power heels on, they transform from the sweet girl next door to a seductive femme fatale! That’s how much of a difference having those centimeters underneath your feet can make. Perhaps it’s about feeling taller, more elegant and powerful. I don’t know what it is, but it’s definitely a brilliant mind trick.

Anna’s boyfriend broke up with her a few months ago. She was heartbroken and didn’t know how to overcome the pain. So what did we, her good friends do? We got her a makeover, and she changed everything. Her hair length and color, we bought her a few new outfits, some nice accessories, and I got her a new pair of nice shoes. These were her first 10cm heels. She has never felt the need to wear these silly things before. She didn’t see the point of suffering and having painful feet just to look sexy. But this one night I forced her to wear them. We went out, and who was the first man that saw her and dropped his jaw on the floor? Her ex. Standing 2 meters away from us at the bar, he couldn’t believe it was his “Ordinary-plain-Anna” as he once called her! What a horrible thing to say. Thankfully she looked absolutely stunning that evening. He looked down at her feet and couldn’t get his eyes off her legs. He would have never guessed that the “plain” Anna is such a drop-dead gorgeous woman. He took her for granted, and a simple pair of high heels showed him how seductive she can be. He is not the nicest person I know, but I will admit that both let themselves go in the relationship. Ladies, please make an effort for yourself and your partner to look your best, like when you first met. There is nothing wrong with a bit of makeup, heels and sports.

Last but not least, and especially in longer relationships, the magic of heels cannot be dismissed – particularly with sex! I’m always saying how important it is to keep the sex in the relationship alive, fresh and interesting. What men really like are high heels in bed. Ladies, buy a pair of sexy high heels that you only wear at home, and not outside. This way they always stay clean, and you can wear them in bed. Make it a part of your sex toy collection, and call them your special “Bed shoes”. I guarantee you that if you surprise your man with lingerie and high heels on in bed, he will grab you and make love to you right there and then! Such a small thing can ignite the fire again. Men want their women to make them feel special. A little effort can go a long way. Every woman has a seductive wild cat hidden inside of her. Mine comes out to play when my high heels are on. It activates my vamp posture and I go into “seduction mode”. If you can’t walk well in the heels at the beginning, don’t worry; it’s all about practice. Get them a few days before and wear them around the house to get used to the feeling. Next time you have a horrible pair of ballerinas in your hand at the shoe store, why not replace them with a beautiful pair of high heels? Make a little experiment and see what happens.

Do you think you’re beautiful?

Do you think you’re beautiful? 1354 437 Galia Brener

Last week I met my girls for a drink and we got into a heated discussion about appearances. 3 out of the 4 said that it matters what others think of their appearance, especially other women. If they get compliments, and other women think they look good, then they feel better about themselves. If they get a negative comment about their appearance, their mood drops, and their confidence is affected as well. We spent hours philosophizing about this, and the girls decided that it’s important what others think about their appearance. I do not agree about this conclusion. What if one doesn’t get complimented all the time, do they have to hang themself? No! You and only you decide about your own beauty, self-confidence and happiness.

Don’t forget than not everyone around us is automatically happy for us. Sometimes it will happen that people will criticize you on purpose, or say something negative simply to make you feel bad because they are jealous of you. It could also be that others have a completely different sense of what’s beautiful or not. And of course they’re own style might be completely the opposite of yours. So you can see the threat of relying on other people’s opinion about your appearance! I think it’s dangerous to put your happiness, which is your personal power, in other people’s hands. You are your own master, so please don’t let anyone steal your sunshine away from you.

I have a friend Lilia, and she’s the fashion beauty queen of her clique. When she goes out with her girls, she is always dressed to perfection. Perfect hair, precisely done makeup, exquisitely matched accessories, and always 12cm+ high heels. They always look like those gorgeous girls out of a Vogue photo shooting. But the strange thing is that they walk around like that during the day as well! Of course with lower heels, but still full makeup on. Last month Lilia and I met up for dinner. I asked that she comes casually dressed with very minimal makeup on. (I wanted to show her an important lesson). Of course as I expected she freaked out at first, but then agreed. We met outside the restaurant, and I was so surprised by her amazing natural beauty! As the evening progressed we drank some wine and she became more relaxed. I asked her why did she always make herself up like that? Wasn’t it excruciatingly exhausting to always try to be so perfect? She actually broke down and cried, and said that the pressure of society and her friends was unbearable.

She was expected to always look the prettiest and most perfect she can be. Actually deep inside of herself she hated it, and herself for keeping up with this charade. Lilia also said that otherwise men would pay less attention to her. Funny but as she was saying that, there was a young man at the next table looking intensely at her. As the evening progressed, Lilia came out of her uncomfortable shell, and was enjoying herself very much – just being her natural self! The two men at the table invited us for a drink. Lilia ended up meeting a wonderful guy, and enjoyed the best evening she has had in years! He even complimented on how natural her beauty was! If she were made up like her usual Barbie doll self, he would have not spoken to her. Ever since that evening, Lilia has really gotten back to her natural beautiful self, and feels happier and safer inside! I am so happy that she finally understood that happiness comes from within.

Let’s face it, you are the only one that can feel yourself from the inside. No one else in this Universe knows how it feels to be you from within – so you know best about how you look and feel from the inside out. The others can only see you from the outside. So actually their approval is only based on a superficial exterior level, which is actually not the most important thing. There is nothing wrong with getting a makeover, or changing your style, but do it for yourself and not for others! Society is such a bitch, and will not be there for you if you “fall off your heels”, so who cares about what they think? Do what’s best for you, and take care that you are happy and healthy. No one can insert happiness into your heart, and only you can make sure that you feel beautiful and wonderful. Girls do yourself a favor and don’t be influenced by anyone. Not a man, not your friends and no one else. Fuck what everyone thinks – to yourself you will always be beautiful exactly as you are, and you know it ♥

Privacy / Datenschutz Preferences 

When you visit our website, it may store information through your browser from specific services, usually in the form of cookies. Here you can change your Privacy preferences. It is worth noting that blocking some types of cookies may impact your experience on our website and the services we are able to offer.

Click to enable/disable Google Fonts.
Click to enable/disable Google Maps.
Click to enable/disable video embeds.
 
See our Privacy Policy / Datenschutz here: www.galiabrener.com/privacy-policy-datenschutz
Our website uses cookies, mainly from 3rd party services. Define your Privacy Preferences and/or agree to our use of cookies.