classy

6 Steps for Classy Flirting
6 Steps for Classy Flirting 1080 530 Galia Brener

I like to observe people all around me. Last week I was on the train and saw a pretty young lady sitting not too far away from me. As the train reached the Frankfurt main station, a handsome man walked in and sat down across from her. I knew right away that I will get a nice article from this scenario.

Flirting varies from person to person. Some are simply born with the talent to flirt and charm, some feel awkward doing it, some think it’s cheap, while others are flirt-o-holics and cannot live without it. So what’s the secret to flirting and how is it done in a classy way with the best results?

Back to my train-spying-romance-story. I looked closely at the woman, and noticed that her eyes brightened when she saw him. She straightened her posture and tried to make herself more alluring to him. He didn’t notice a thing. She glanced at him and looked away. The ride was quite long, so she did that many times, but the guy still had no clue. After a few more attempts, she gave up her subtleness and just gawked shamelessly at him. She arched her back, placed a half smile on her lips, and looked fiercely into his eyes without blinking! She looked wild and hungry, like in a cannibal-cloud-nine-bath-salts kind of way. I was watching them, entertained out of my mind – who needs a movie when you have freak shows all over the city? She tried to bat her eyelashes at him – but instead of being sexy, it looked like she was trying to blink her own eyelid away, opening her eyes wider each time. The guy was squirming very uncomfortably in his seat by now. Eventually her “flirting” technique scared the hell out of him, so he got up and walked quickly away. So ladies and gentlemen, now that we know the wrong way to flirt, let’s see how we can do it the right way.

1. The Eye Contact: This is the most important aspect of the flirt-system! What usually works for me is first a quick glance in his direction. If he sends you a glance back, lock eyes for a moment and look away. Continue doing that for a few times, each time locking eyes for longer periods of time. I wouldn’t recommend looking over too often. Besides, you will feel and see if he’s interested or not.

2. The Smile: After the eye contact, comes your time to shine – beam him/her with a warm and welcoming smile, but please don’t overdo it. We don’t want to come across as psychopaths – a.k.a. – Train Girl. A genuine smile is the sexiest thing and guy or girl can wear, because it shows happiness. Happy people are very attractive. As with the first step, look and smile a few times. If s/he smiles back, you’re in! If not, don’t waste your time because they are most likely not interested.

3. The Approach: This one is more for the guys. I’m a bit of an old fashioned girl and don’t approach men first. I feel that if I have sent out the right signals, topped it off with a warm lovely smile, and if he’s interested, he will approach me. Here comes the best part gentlemen – all you have to do is walk over, smile and say hello. Offer her a drink and introduce yourself. No pick up lines, no playing too cool, no wise guy remarks. Just be sincere, charming, warm and friendly. It’s really as easy as that. If this doesn’t work, then move on – nothing lost.

4. Body Language: Do not cross your arms when talking to him/her. Do not lean away from the person – instead – lean in towards them in the conversation. What works well is to imitate the other person’s body language, because that means you are in sync. Don’t hold out on the smiles or act too serious. Be open and relaxed. Make sure you have a good posture and don’t slouch.

5. Be Charming: Ask him or her questions, and show that you are interested in what they have to say – but don’t fake it. Be genuine, and only show interest if it’s there. When talking, a gentle touch on the arm, or a playful push and laugh is always a nice way to create subtle closeness. Don’t brag about how great your career is, or how cool your friends think you are. No one likes show-offs. Respect the other person and show your good manners. Making an honest compliment works really well. Everyone likes to hear something nice about themselves, but don’t get too personal or sexual right away.

6. Most Important – Lower Your Expectations: If you meet someone that you really like, do not start dreaming right away that this could be the one and put pressure on yourself. Men and women smell desperation and neediness – and this is not the impression you want to leave. So if it goes well, exchange numbers and take it from there. I highly recommended going slow at the beginning.

Flirting is a nice way to increase your self-esteem and confirm to yourself that you are attractive to others. It’s a way of saying to yourself, “I still have the touch.” Flirting is great for getting to know someone who has caught your eye and improving your communication skills. It’s also a great energy booster, and puts you in a positive mood. However, if someone is clearly not responding to your flirting, accept that they are not that into you and walk away. Don’t continue, thinking that they are simply playing hard to get. You will see and feel when it’s not working out. Not everyone is meant to be for everyone – that would be too boring. Your turn will come. Do not let anyone bring you down, and have faith that you deserve true love, and know that you will have it. Know your worth, and always respect yourself – if you do, so will others! Go out there and enjoy a nice evening of flirting.

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Over-the-knee boots: Yes, no or maybe?
Over-the-knee boots: Yes, no or maybe? 1200 1600 Galia Brener

If you asked me some years back what I thought about this edgy type of boot, I would answer you with a quick and definite “No way!”

 

I always identified over-the-knee boots with the Pretty Woman movie – Julia Robert’s infamous working the street outfit, and pulling Richard Gere into her sensual spider web. In other words, I never thought that I could wear such a boot on the streets of old school and classy Europe. Over time I watched carefully as the trend grew and realized that more and more women are jumping onto the over-the-knee boot bandwagon. Slowly these boots were coming out of their red light district image, and making their way into posh offices around the world.

 

An interesting fact according to Wikipedia is that, “Over-the-knee boots first became popular as riding boots for men in the 15th century, when extra protection was required for the legs when on horseback.” So ladies, these boots are almost as old as the oldest profession in the world.

 

Pierre Cardin brought the boots into fashion again in 1968, featuring them in his futuristic couture collection. They also made a reappearance every decade after that!

 

Finally in 2010, Auntie Gali thought to herself, “If it’s good enough for the riders of the 15th century, then it’s good enough for us too!” So I went to try on my first over-the-knee boots. I remember buying my first pair in a small family-owned shop in Florence. I tried them on with a pair of tight skinny jeans and an oversized sweater. I was surprised at how cool they looked and bought them.

 

Upon my arrival at home a few weeks later, I couldn’t bring myself to wear them. I thought that perhaps I’m too old fashioned after all to wear these screaming boots. And so these sad Italian stallions were locked away in the closet for 6 years! Some might consider that shoe-abuse. And for some like myself, clothing and accessories never get thrown away. I lock them up and they wait patiently for their big day to make a comeback. To be able to see the light again. Such good and devoted shoes – never complained, not even once!

 

A few months ago, when cleaning the skeletons out of my closet, I found these boots again. I dusted them off tried them on. They fit like a glove. I decided that it was finally time to do the knees. The time has arrived for our relationship to begin. I was then given a lovely pair of Gucci boots as a gift, and added them to my over-the-knee collection.

 

I must admit that I can only wear this type of boot with a block or thick heel. I could never wear the stiletto version. I would feel like I’m auditioning for the main role in the second part of Pretty Woman. This is not my cup of Earl Gray tea. However, the block heels look pretty damn cool!

 

So if asked again, would I ever wear over-the-knee boots? My answer after 6 years would be: “Absolutely!” Yes I’m a turtle grandma sometimes and it took me “only” 6 years to jump onto the over-the-knee boot bandwagon. But I’m finally there and enjoying every minute of it!

 

Outfit ideas:

 

  1. Lampshading: Means wearing over-the-knee boots with an oversized sweater / dress.
  2. Classy: Little black dress with over-the-knee boots and a cropped tuxedo blazer.
  3. Casual: Skinny jeans with over-the-knee boots and your favorite rock t-shirt.
  4. Gali Style: Chanel-look tweed shorts, over-the-knee boots, turtleneck sweater and fringe scarf.

 

Have fun wearing your boots my darlings!!

Hugs,

Gali

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My outfit: Boots: Gucci, Chanel-look tweed shorts: Dress Affairs Boutique Frankfurt, sweater: Zara, fringe scarf: Spratters and Jayne

 

Photos by: Polina Brener of Who Would Think?

 

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Is beautiful automatically sexy?
Is beautiful automatically sexy? 1200 400 Galia Brener

Ladies this one is for you. I know that all women have occupied themselves – at least once in their life – with the thought, “Am I beautiful?” Some have more self-esteem, some have less, but at the end of the day, what does “being beautiful” really mean? I asked myself, is “classical beauty” really so important to have? After looking closely at this topic, I realized that a real sensual appeal is not so much connected to the traditional sense of the word “beauty”. In fact, I came to understand that being beautiful does not automatically make one sexy!

 

There is an immense pressure in society for women to assimilate to a standard form of beauty. But guess what dear ladies; the classical definition of beauty has nothing to do with sex appeal and sensuality. Have you ever walked down the street, saw couple where the man is handsome and the woman looks like an average grey mouse, and thought to yourself, “What the hell does he see in her?” To you on the outside, she might not appear to be a beauty, yet there is something about her that is sensual and appealing to him. Whether it’s her feminine walk, the way she pouts her lips when she’s thinking or her extremely big eyes that might look like an alien to you, yet to him she’s a sensual catwoman! In fact, many of the women that do possess classical beauty surprisingly have a low self-esteem, which is quite the opposite of what men are attracted to.

 

I made a very interesting observation. Last week, I was in the train and saw a woman that matches the classical definition of beauty, with perfectly sized and symmetrical facial and body features. Yet surprisingly, she appeared plain. There were no edges or anything unique, which made her stand out and noticeable, yet her features were perfect in themselves. If I saw her again I would not recognize her. That was the moment I actually realized that it’s true what they say: the imperfections are what make people truly unique, noticeable, characteristic, sensual and sexy! The imperfections are the elements that create perfection.

 

My good friend Jilli is a good example for this topic. She admits that she has a big nose, bad skin, her chin is too long and pointy, and she has very thin and sensitive skin, which shows each wrinkle and cellulite that she has. She says about herself, “I am far from being a classical beauty, yet I know that I am damn sexy, and have a very strong and sensual effect on men.” And she’s right. I know in fact that many men like her, write, call, contact her and want to be with her. Her face is very unique and her naturally large lips and eyes blend well together with her aquiline nose and protruding chin. Her features are not symmetrical or perfectly shaped, and she would never fit in the traditional definition of beauty, yet she is one of the most sensual women that I know. Her mysterious smile, and the perfect timing how she looks down to hide an amused glance, or the way she sways her curvy hips when she walks, or how her lips look cute like a duck when looking at her profile, her overly-defined cheekbones and the way her teeth point out on the edges, all contribute to her extreme sensuality. Jilli’s appearance is like sushi: you either love it or hate it, but you will never forget it. She once dated a plastic surgeon that “kindly” wanted to give her nose job for her birthday. While some women would have been ecstatic at this idea, Jilli was appalled at the thought of being put to sleep, having her nose broken and chiseled, having the skin reshaped on the broken nose, and letting the bone and skin heal again. Such pain! And for what? For her superficial doc boyfriend to love her “more” for her smaller nose?! No way! She threw his flakey ass to the curb, where it belongs.

 

Ladies you have to realize that sexiness and sensuality have more to do with your personality, self-esteem, attitude, ability to love and laugh at yourself, your humor, achievements, body language and movements, rather than with your classical beauty features. Rejoice in the fact that the gap between your teeth, your upper lip that’s bigger than your lower, your round bum, your contagious laugh, your curly red hair, your boney knees, your freckled face, your big nose, large forehead, or any other feature that makes you unique, is a wonderful bonus to your appearance. You might be surprised that those things that you don’t like about yourself seem incredibly attractive to others. Those little odd things about you, are your signature trademarks that make you, YOU! Classic beauty tends to be boring and unspectacular, yet unique facial and body characteristics can be extremely hot, sexy and exciting. My advise would be instead of concentrating on the things that you hate about yourself, try to give more attention to the things that you love about yourself, and learn to embrace the odd things about your appearance! Make the best of what you have. Instead of trying to fix what’s not necessarily broken, why not adore what’s already perfectly beautiful about you?

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