It’s Saturday afternoon, and you have a date to meet the girls for a nice lunch in the city. You leave the house wearing your favorite outfit. Your hair is flowing in the wind, and your lips are shimmering in the sun. You enter the restaurant feeling happy and confident. Your girlfriends are waiting for you at the corner table, waiving at you to come over. You get there, sit down… and surprise surprise; you get a nasty look from a woman at another table! The crazy thing is, you don’t even know her!
Why is she looking at me like that? Is the question most of us women ask ourselves when confronted with such bitchiness and undeserved hatred. Why? Simple answer: because of our insecurities. Be honest to yourself, how many times did you judge a woman you do not even know simply because of her outer appearance? All women do this. A sexy blonde gets into an expensive car, and you automatically think to yourself, “Which man is she sleeping with or had to divorce to get that?” It’s shameful, but we all do this. Well my dear ladies, its time to STOP.
Lack of confidence: it is a normal human reaction to elevate one’s own self-esteem by bringing someone else down. Thoughts like these make us feel better about ourselves: “She looks easy to get. I’m not cheap like her” or “She is fat and not attractive, so why do the men look at her?” (This is not an opinion, it’s a judgment). Who the hell are we to judge another woman? The sad part is that by doing this, we are not working on ourselves to become stronger and better women, but rather we make ourselves more miserable and vulnerable. Having such feelings and thoughts about others shows that you must improve your self-esteem. No need to feel bad, many have the same issue, but this can be and should be worked on! I dealt with these issue, and honestly, I think we all have had them at one point in our lives!
Jealousy: one of the most evil feelings that exist on the Earth. There is no reason to put down another woman simply because we don’t have what she does, such as: success, happiness, wealth, a great husband, good body, etc. In fact, you should become friends with such fabulous women, and try to learn from them. If they have this, then they must be doing something right. Being open and willing to learn is the key! Girlfriends are there to help you grow. Jealousy is a nasty little devil that will eat you from within! Best to stay away from it completely.
Fear: of being second best. Or even last. You cant, and shouldn’t always be the best. Why? This is so strenuous! Don’t be afraid that the beautiful woman standing behind you will steal your boyfriend away. Stop noticing that her legs are longer than yours. So what, even if they are? There will always be girls with longer legs than yours. There will always be girls with shorter legs than yours. This is not a competition: you are who you are. That’s it. No more to it. Love yourself as you are. When you truly do, you will see how things will radically change for you! I asked many men about this fact, and almost all of them said that personality and charisma always win! Being bitchy (zickig) towards other women is a waste of time. Instead, work on your charisma and be a kind, charming, friendly and lovely woman. The ego creates fear. The ego sees others who are better as a natural enemy. Do not be weak, and don’t let your ego control you.
A girlfriend of mine, lets call her Karma, met a well-known model in Frankfurt. They went on a few dates, and she decided to sleep with him. The sex was nice, but she couldn’t connect with him on a mental level. She loved having deep, interesting conversations, but couldn’t do this with him. So she stopped seeing him. He called, but she told him that she didn’t feel the connection. After a while, Karma received a letter from a woman saying that she was his girlfriend at that time! The woman accused her of stealing him away from her. She was rude to Karma, and tried to humiliate her. Sadly, Karma didn’t know this at all! He told her that he was single. Instead of being angry at the stupid guy, this foolish woman took it out on poor Karma. Why? This is so evil and cruel. It was his fault. He lied to both of the women! When will we ever grow up ladies, and see that we have to stick together and support each other, instead of hating each other?
We are not animals. We differentiate from animals because we have the intelligence to inquire into the truth and meaning of our existence. If you spend your time being bitchy to other girls, how will you ever evolve and find your meaning here? You need your time and energy to do something real, enjoy life, make love, succeed at your career, travel, sing, dance, whatever… but certainly not waste time judging other women. Doesn’t that seem petty compared to your existence on the planet? You have bigger and better things to do!
Try this experiment (It always works for me): Next time you see a random woman and want to judge her, push your nails into your palm. The feeling is not the nicest, but the pain will automatically stop your bad thoughts. When you give some innocent lady a bad stare, do the same. When you talk negatively about a woman at your work, do the same. Eventually you will stop. You don’t need this evil inside of yourself. Get rid of this, and open yourself up to goodness. Women, like you, are wonderful, beautiful, caring, nurturing, loyal and empathetic. We should support one another, instead of making it harder for each other in this male-dominated society. It’s time to stop being enemies and become friends.