be yourself

Are You Beautiful?

Are You Beautiful? 1200 400 Galia Brener

Last week I met my girls for a drink and we got into a heated discussion about appearances. 3 out of the 4 said that it matters what others think of their appearance, especially other women. If they get compliments, and other women think they look good, then they feel better about themselves. If they get a negative comment about their appearance, their mood drops, and their confidence is affected as well. We spent hours philosophizing about this, and the girls decided that it’s important what others think about their appearance. I do not agree about this conclusion. What if one doesn’t get complimented all the time, do they have to hang themself? No! You and only you decide about your own beauty, self-confidence and happiness.

 

Don’t forget that not everyone around us is happy for us. Sometimes people will criticize you on purpose, or say something negative simply to make you feel bad because they are jealous of you. It could also be that others have a completely different sense of what’s beautiful or not. And of course they’re own style might be completely the opposite of yours. So you can see the threat of relying on other people’s opinion about your appearance! I think it’s dangerous to put your happiness, which is your personal power, in other people’s hands. You are your own master, so please don’t let anyone steal your sunshine away from you.

 

I have a friend Lilia and she’s the fashion beauty queen of her clique. When she goes out with her girls, she is always dressed to perfection. Perfect hair, precisely done makeup, exquisitely matched accessories, and always 12cm+ high heels. They always look like those gorgeous girls out of a Vogue photo shooting. But the strange thing is that they walk around like that during the day as well! Of course with lower heels, but still full makeup on. Last month Lilia and I met up for dinner. I asked that she comes casually dressed with very minimal makeup on. (I wanted to show her an important lesson). Of course as I expected she freaked out at first, but then agreed. We met outside the restaurant, and I was so surprised by her amazing natural beauty! As the evening progressed we drank some wine and she became more relaxed. I asked her why did she always make herself up like that? Wasn’t it excruciatingly exhausting to always try to be so perfect? She actually broke down, cried and said that the pressure of society and her friends was unbearable.

 

She was expected to always look the prettiest and most perfect she can be. Actually deep inside of herself she hated it and herself for keeping up with this charade. Lilia also said that otherwise men would pay less attention to her. Funny but as she was saying that, there was a young man at the next table looking intensely at her. As the evening progressed, Lilia came out of her uncomfortable shell, and was enjoying herself very much – just being her natural self! The two men at the table invited us for a drink. Lilia ended up meeting a wonderful guy and enjoyed the best evening she has had in years! He even complimented on how natural her beauty was! If she were made up like her usual Barbie doll self, he wouldn’t have spoken to her. Ever since that evening, Lilia has really gotten back to her natural beautiful self and feels happier and safer inside! I am so happy that she finally understood that happiness comes from within. After a few weeks, she told me that she doesn’t need any more constant confirmation from the outside world about her appearance. She feels happy and stronger inside. She started to slowly love herself as she is. She said that if someone doesn’t like it, they could go to one place where the sun doesn’t shine…

 

Let’s face it, you are the only one that can feel yourself from the inside. No one else in this Universe knows how it feels to be you from within – so you know best about how you look and feel from the inside out. The others can only see you from the outside. So actually their approval is only based on a superficial exterior level, which is not the most important thing in life! There is nothing wrong with getting a makeover, or changing your style, but do it for yourself and not for others! Society is such a bitch, and will not be there for you if you “fall off your heels”, so who cares about what they think? Do what’s best for you and take care that you are happy and healthy. No one can insert happiness into your heart, and only you can make sure that you feel beautiful and wonderful. Ladies and gentlemen, do yourself a favor and don’t be influenced by others. Fuck what everyone thinks – to yourself you will always be beautiful exactly as you are and you know it ♥

 

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Love yourself and overcome your insecurities.

Love yourself and overcome your insecurities. 1200 400 Galia Brener

I would like to introduce myself again. My name is Galia Brener, and in high school people called me “Pepperoni pizza”. I had horrible acne. Grotesque pimples decorated my face, chest and back. I used to cover half of my face with my hair, and walk around like “Cousin It” from the Addams Family. I still have scars on my face and chest. Up until a few years ago, I would conceal this with heavy makeup, but now, I just don’t give a damn anymore. I threw out all of that hideous makeup. Too many years of crying for nothing!

 

Do you feel/think that: You are overweight? You have acne? You are too short? Too tall? Too skinny? Not smart or pretty enough? You feel like an alien alone on this planet because you’re different? Don’t worry, you are not alone. Listen to Pepperoni Pizza’s advice: Who cares what the others say or think. BE WHO YOU ARE, and be proud of it! “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” That’s my favorite quote from Oscar Wilde.

 

These insecurities take lots of joy and happiness away from us. For the first 20 years of my life I felt terrible about my face. Eventually, I got so sick and tired of hiding behind my hair and makeup. Those are just “illusions”. Even through the makeup, one could see the scars and acne. And even through the baggy long clothing, one can see your full curvy (beautiful!) body. So how long are we going to hide behind these “protectors”? And is this really protecting us, or making our insecurities worse?

 

My friend “Honey” is a European size 44, and is drop-dead gorgeous! She dated a man that treated her very badly. He always called her fat. Finally she had the courage to dump him. She was depressed and ate chocolate day and night to comfort her soul. Being a good friend, I ate the kilos of chocolate with her, while crying and laughing together. After we both gained one more clothing size, we decided to go to a party. Honey saw a tall, handsome, olive-skinned man with eyes as bright as the Jaguar XKR-S French Racing Blue color! He is a well-known basketball star (Let’s call him J). She fell in love at first sight! Later on, he approached her with a glass of wine, and they spent the rest of the evening chatting. Today they are still happy together. Sadly, Honey continues with her diets. She looses and gains weight, but J never cares about it. He loves her for who she is. The only person that cares about the weight is Honey herself. That’s a damn shame, because she is curvy and extremely beautiful, but doesn’t see or feel it!

 

So who really notices all of your imperfections? YOU! Sorry to tell you this, but you are your worst enemy. Just like I was mine. I hated my pimples, so I squeeze them. Unfortunately that made them even worse and left scars! It was disgusting and awful. I was trapped in my own dark hell inside of my head. What helped me later was to acknowledge and concentrate on my strengths! Are you good at art, cooking, sports, design, dancing, singing, etc? If so, spend more time doing these things and less time criticizing yourself. Do not constantly talk about your flaws with others. Instead, mention your good traits!

 

Here are a few steps that helped me to overcome my insecurity issues:

 

1: Ignore non-constructive insults, judgments and criticism about you and your body.

2: Let go of past emotional garbage. It’s a decision of letting go and starting a fresh cycle.

3: Don’t try to always please others. You’ll never be able to satisfy everyone. Think of yourself too!

4: Avoid negative and toxic people. Keep them out of your life!

5: Stop your negative thoughts. As soon as they start, block them by thinking of something completely different. Don’t give such destructive thoughts a chance to upset you!

6: Stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t copy others and accept your uniqueness.

7: Attack your worries and fears. Face them head-on! I hated going out into the sunlight with my acne because everyone could see it. I spent my days at home after school, like a damn vampire. So sad and pathetic. Enough! Face your fears! Buy that sexy dress, even if you feel that you are too curvy for it. Just do it and wear it with pride!

8: It’s time to start loving and respecting yourself. If you wont, then the others wont either! Show others how you want to be treated.

9: Set goals for yourself, and when you achieve them, reward and treat yourself.

10: Become more positive in your thoughts and actions. Be happy!

 

Please promise me that once you feel strong inside, try to help others to get to such a wonderful place as well. Look outside at what is happening in this crazy world. We are there to help each other. But before we can do so, we must start by helping ourselves. I wish you lots of good luck, strength and energy for your mission. Everything will be ok!

 

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How to “be” on the 1st date

How to “be” on the 1st date 1200 400 Galia Brener

You are standing in front of your closet full of clothes, and of course find nothing to wear. You have a date in 30 minutes! You tried everything on already, and nothing seems to fit right. The little black dress is suddenly too “little”, your favorite skinny jeans are not giving you the long-leg-effect anymore. What is going on? You are nervous because of your hopes and expectations. Let your hair down and relax. Mystery-Man didn’t deserve your worries just yet!

 

I noticed that my best dates were when I didn’t care too much to impress the guy and was just super relaxed. My horror dates were when I was really nervous and tried to appear perfect for the guy. Another mistake I made in the past was to agree with opinions my date had, even though I did not share the same point of view as him. I thought that would make me lovelier, and it would seem that we have more things in common. Wrong. This would eventually catch up with us and fights would occur. Ladies, please voice your opinions, especially if you really like the guy. Don’t be afraid that he thinks you are stupid or silly because of what you say. Most men actually enjoy an intellectual challenge. So let him fight for it girls!

 

Order whatever you feel like eating. Do not worry that you must look cute in front of him by ordering something small that you can eat in single tiny bites. Who cares?! Order a huge pizza if you feel like it. Another funny thing I noticed, the bigger and messier meal you order, the cuter it looks to the guy. Men like women that are not afraid of eating a huge burger or bloody steak. It makes you look real and nonchalant in a positive way. I call this soul food. Eating what makes you happy to satisfy your soul. Everything’s good in good measures – keep a good balance in life.

 

Don’t drink too much alcohol. Getting drunk on a date can cloud your judgment and make you do things you can later regret. I don’t want to sound old-fashioned, but its better if you wait a bit before you have sex with him for the first time. Unless you are just looking for a fun sexy time, that’s ok. What works best for me is to get to know the guy, spend some time with him and let the chemistry and tension rise. Taking your time before having sex will show you if this man wants you for a long-term relationship or just some fun in bed. Men are hunters, so let them hunt and don’t make it too easy for him.

 

Ladies, use your most charming and erotic weapon… your smile! There is nothing more enchanting than an honest, warm and sincere smile. It always works like a charm! During a conversation: look directly into his eyes, give him a seductive smile, drop your gaze down for a second, then look back up at him, and tilt your head to the side. This move kills them!

 

Please do not mention how cool and fabulous you are. Do not show off about all of your achievements on the first date. Avoid the feeling that you must impress him or else he wont like you. If you are an amazing person, then this will be evident in the first hour of the conversation so don’t worry! Let him sweat a bit by trying to impress you. Men like a healthy challenge and want to know that they have the best woman of all – so let him work at charming you into being by his side.

 

Try to keep a relaxed and positive atmosphere. Life is not always a walk in the park, but he doesn’t have to hear about all of your illnesses, debts and tragedies directly on the first date! If you will get closer, then you can open up your heart to him in the future. At the beginning, keep it light and pleasant. Complications are a huge turn off to both men and women. Everyone has their own baggage, so they don’t want to adopt an even heavier load on the first date. The other way around, avoid being an emotional garbage can for those troubled-lost-souls. The broken ones are extremely hard to fix, so unless you want a life-long project instead of being happy, then go for it.

 

If he bores your panties to death, and you need to escape, talk about your ex boyfriend, repeatedly check your mobile phone, write text messages while he is talking to you, and profusely yawn in your seat while slouching. This should do the trick. If you like him, please try to refrain from the above – especially mentioning how large your ex’s, um, water gun was. But to be quite honest, it doesn’t really matter what you do or not do on a date, because if its meant to be, it will be… even if you squeezed the ketchup from the bottle all over his face instead of on your burger! ;-)

 

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