bad girls

Why do good guys like bad girls?
Why do good guys like bad girls? 1200 400 Galia Brener

Finally it’s the bloody weekend, and you’re having drinks with your best buddy. After a few Geripptes glasses at your friendly neighborhood apple wine dealer, he starts telling you a heart wrenching story about Ms. X. We all know this “Ms. X” – there are many of them all over the world. She’s the one that will walk into your life, have her fun, empty your wallet, rip your heart out of your body, and will magically disappear when she feels like it. Leaving you empty and bitter against all womankind. Sorry Dear, you have just been played by a Bad Girl!

 

They exist, and they are evil! Not only do they shatter hearts, but they also shatter a man’s opinion of women. Once bitten by a Bad Girl, the poison seeps deep into the body and takes over the brain. Slowly it changes the man and turns him into a Bad Boy as well. Then, there is an uncontrollable desire for revenge. It’s a curse that has been passed on from millennium to millennium. It’s even worse than it’s cousin the Vampire – because at least Vampires still have feelings. No, the Bad Girl and Boy are more evil than that – they are merciless, and they will tear your soul out with their bare hands and eat your heart alive. You have been warned!

 

An acquaintance of mine, let’s call him “Yold”, is one of the worst Bad Boys in Frankfurt. I know his stories about how many women he hurt. I constantly try to persuade him to change his ways, but unfortunately he doesn’t! Last week he broke up with his latest passion. She is a beautiful, kind, intelligent, generous, warm and sweet woman. I hoped that finally he would settle with her. But of course, like with all the others, Yold broke her heart into tiny pieces and discarded her for the next one. I know that deep inside, he is not bad. The tragedy is that long ago, when he was still a young nerd, a Bad Girl came into his life, played him, and crushed his manhood and ego. Since then, he swore that no women would ever get that deep into his heart again. The Bad Girl damaged him, and now he is taking revenge on all other women.

 

What attracts Good Guys to Bad Girls, like flies to dirt? For the good men, it’s a natural instinct to feel the need to rescue a woman in distress. You see the Bad Girl, and feel that you can give her what she’s missing. The problem is that she will take and take. Once your life energy and bank account are empty, she will find the next fool to suck dry! Excuse the pun. She will never appreciate it. Instead, open up your eyes, and see how many wonderful, kind, lovely, beautiful, warm, and genuine women are in need of a good man! These Good Girls will appreciate everything that you have to offer. They will be loyal and loving partners in life. They will go through the good and bad with you, be there when the sun shines and stay when it becomes dark. These warm women will listen to your fears and sorrows. The problem is that some men associate “Good” with “Boring”. That’s a damn shame!

 

Wild, exciting, crazy sex: You are addicted to her body like an expensive, illegal drug. She controls your mind and fantasies. With a lick of her tongue, she can send you to the gates of heaven and back! You become a slave to her seduction and passion. She screams your name, while tearing up the sheets on her 5th orgasm. You feel like a Sex God. You are Hercules, and your ego has never felt better! But after the sex is over, she picks up her purse and walks out of your life. Then she decides to come back and walk all over you again. Why do you allow these Bad Girls to do this to you? Good Girls can be tigers in bed as well, but the problem is that you do not even give them a fair chance to show you this. You judge the book by the cover, and put it away in your basement before even reading it. Then you wonder why these women you choose are such bitches! Why? Because you fall for the wrong ones!

 

Excitement and challenge: The rush of not knowing what will happen next! Every evening with these Bad Girls is like an adventure to the dark side and back. She makes your heart beat faster and the blood rush through your veins. Wake up! She does the same with you and 69 other men. You’re not the only one, and you never will be. That’s what you like don’t you? You want to tame that wild beast. You want to be the hunter that managed to catch the Bad Girl and turn her into an obedient wife and mother. Stop torturing yourself. You will never change her, she is damaged goods. She is selfish and cruel, and cares only about herself. Leave that Bad Girl to her own kind. Let her deal with her archenemy: Mr. Bad Boy. But the problem is that he doesn’t want her. He goes after the Good Girls, and damages them for life. It’s sick.

 

It’s a never-ending cycle. Bad ones turn the Good ones into Bad ones! It’s about time for this viscous circle to stop. Men, open your eyes to the bigger and better things in life. Examine your priorities. Do you want to end up old and alone, without anyone there to make you a cup of tea in order to warm up your shriveling body? What about having your best friend beside you, that one person that you can share your secrets, fantasies and wishes with? I am sure that you have a good lovely female friend that would enrich you with her true love. But instead, you buy the monster-from-hell a beautiful 2-carat Tiffany’s engagement ring. Well, sorry buddy, that’s your own damn problem. Rest assured that in a few years you will be spending thousands of Euros on a good therapist and divorce lawyer because your monster has been sleeping with your best friend for the past year. You wanted a Bad Girl? Congratulations, you got one! But happiness will never be part of the package with her. It’s time to be smart. There are so many lovely and amazing good single girls out there. Open up your eyes!

 

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Are you his sex toy or his next girlfriend?
Are you his sex toy or his next girlfriend? 1354 437 Galia Brener
I have received many letters from women asking me how to tell if a guy has long-term intentions for them, or if he’s simply looking for a sex fling? This can be quite tricky because some people are willing to go to any measure, including selling white lies about a happy future together, just to get the girl in bed. I have asked many of my male friends about this, and almost all told me that when they first meet a girl, they can tell within the first hour of talking to her if she will be just a fling, or a future girlfriend. Luckily there are a few hints at the beginning, which let you know and feel if he only wants you for sex, or to be his girlfriend.

My friend Sandy had to learn this the hard way. Half a year ago she met a guy at a bar, and they hit it off quite well. They talked for a while, and ended the evening by kissing, but Sandy went home alone. She didn’t want to rush things and jump into bed with him because she liked him, and didn’t want it to be just about sex. He wasn’t happy that she didn’t want to sleep with him, but she didn’t notice that in her tipsy state. This was on a Wednesday evening, and she was sure that he would call or write on the weekend, but he didn’t. The next week on Tuesday he wrote her, asking to meet on Wednesday. I said that he’s not serious about her, otherwise he would have at least written a short message on the weekend asking how she’s doing. Sandy tried to brush it off by saying he’s probably busy.

They met on Wednesday and had dinner, went for drinks and then she took him home. She told him that she doesn’t want a fling but rather a relationship, and he said, “Sure, that’s what I want to.” They finally had sex, and it was “ok”, but nothing earth-shattering or mind blowing. Still, Sandy was lusting for him, and his smell played havoc with her brain. He was smart enough, but not the most intelligent man for deep conversations, so the dates were not the best ones she had. However, he “teased” her of a future together, also mentioning holidays and places he wanted to visit with her. His extremely attractive “outer shell” hooked her as well. The next morning he left, and this time she didn’t hear from him for almost an entire week. This was horrible for her because they had sex for the first time together. She wrote him a sweet sms, and it took him days to answer! I told her that this is just sex for him, and he’s not serious about her. She refused to listen to me. This fling lasted for 3 months of them seeing each other once a week, never on the weekends, and not getting closer emotionally at all. Sandy became sad and tired of his ways, and told him that this was not going anywhere. And guess what? He didn’t even try to keep her. He just let her go and she never heard from him again. She later found out that he had many other girls, with whom he was doing the same thing at the same time.

Here are two lists to show you the difference of what he really wants from you:

If he wants you only for sex or a fling:

1. He will text you only when he needs to fill his time once or twice a week, or is feeling hot and horny and needs a release. He keeps the communication to a minimum, only enough to keep you hooked and get sex from you.

2. When you meet him, you feel that your time together is very limited.

3. After a date you never know if that’s the last time you see him. He doesn’t make short-term or long-term plans with you.

4. Even if you say no, he still pushes too much to have sex with you when you’re making out.

5. He doesn’t take you along to places and evenings with his friends and family. You don’t get integrated into his life.

6. If you have problems, he doesn’t offer to help, and doesn’t really seem interested in your issues. He might even change the topic of conversation, or react inadequately to something that bothers you. If you’re sick, he tells you to get better and meet after you’re healthy again.

7. He does everything only for his convenience, and goes only where he wants. If he doesn’t like a place or event you mention, he won’t go there, even if he knows that it would make you happy.

8. He speaks mostly about himself, his life, his hobbies and his passions. He doesn’t ask you much about you and your life. He doesn’t care to ask about your friends and family.

9. When going out together, his eyes will be darting all over the place, looking at other women.

If he wants you to be his girlfriend:

1. He will write and call to see how you are doing – usually everyday, or every second day – because he cares and wants to stay in contact with you. He writes longer sentences, because he wants to keep a strong and constant communication with you.

2. He makes enough time to see you and be with you, because he wants to have you by his side.

3. Even during the date, he’s already mentioning the next time you meet, what you could do together, what you can see or experience together. He’s thinking long-term with you.

4. When you’re making out and you say no to sex, he’s a gentleman and doesn’t push you for more. He respects your wishes because he wants to keep you by his side.

5. He takes you to meet his friends, and also to meet his family. He’s proud to have you with him.

6. He listens carefully if you tell him about a problem you’re having, and offers his help right away. If you’re sick, he will bring you chicken soup. He’s there for you and cares about you.

7. Even if he hates the opera, street fests, or a certain party, restaurant or bar, he will go there with you because he knows that you like it, and it will make you happy.

8. He’s interested in your life, and asks many questions about you, your passions and goals in life. He’s interested about your family and friends, and wants to integrate himself into your life.

9. He will have eyes only for you, and you wont see him constantly looking at other women.

Ladies, I know how hard it is to admit to ourselves that the guy we like is not serious about us, but if you’re not honest with yourself, you will get hurt like my friend Sandy did. Open your eyes and hearts, and see what he really wants from. The best is to ask him what his intentions are for you. Straightforward communication is always important. If he’s lying, like in Sandy’s case, then you have to figure it out for yourself. We are women, and have a strong intuition. Let’s be honest, we feel and know right away what the man truly wants from us. But we lie to ourselves thinking that we can make him see our inner beauty and fall in love with us, and this is how we get hurt. So next time please keep your antennae up to see what he really wants from you. If you’re looking for a boyfriend, then make sure to follow my second list, and see if he behaves accordingly! Don’t allow yourself to be used sexually and emotionally, because you deserve better than that. You deserve real love.

Web: www.facebook.com/yesnomaybegalia

Gali, the Tinder police.
Gali, the Tinder police. 1354 437 Galia Brener

Dear cheaters, I’m sorry to have to do this, but you had enough of selfish dirty “fun” on the side. It’s time to bring the darkness out to face the light. Actually I’m not sorry at all for doing this. For those that know me well, know that I’m a warrior of love, and absolutely despise cheating. I think it’s the most cowardly thing to do when in a relationship. It’s egotistical, weak and extremely unkind! The act of cheating shows that a person has zero respect and compassion towards their partner and themselves. Thank you Tinder, for showing us who these people are.

During my few months on Tinder, I was astonished to see how many men are on there that are married or have wonderful girlfriends, which I know! I have discovered many men, from advertising agencies owners, to hotel, club and restaurant owners, to “kind” doctors, teachers and other “humanitarians” – all cheaters, without a soul or care about the pain they cause their partners. And it’s not only the men. There are exactly as many women cheaters on Tinder, trying to pull a few nasty orgasms on the side, while their husbands are away on business trips, working hard to bring home some money and give them a good life! What the hell is happening to this world? Are there no more morals, values and loyalty out there? I’ve always been old-fashioned, but have I missed the moment where fidelity became a thing of the past? Is it not cool anymore to be faithful to one partner, or has the world become so narcissistic that we need to have sex with 5 people at the same time, including our partner, just to prove to ourselves that we are still hot and wanted? I don’t get it, and I don’t even want to know, because I think it’s horrible and cruel. Ladies and gentlemen, we are moving further into the future, but it’s really time to bring back some solid old values. If you can’t be faithful, then don’t be in a relationship. Basta.

Another person I discovered on Tinder last week was the boyfriend of a very good friend of mine, Michelle. She’s a kind, wonderful, beautiful, intelligent and funny woman. Any guy should be happy and proud to have her by his side – except her asshole man, who I caught surfing Tinder shamelessly, looking to sleep around. I was there when Michelle met her guy some years ago, at a beautiful gala in Frankfurt. They laid eyes on each other, and she thought that he’s “The One”. They planned a wonderful future together, and she was waiting for the ring and proposal any day now. Last month they bought a flat in Westend together. It’s a flat to die for, but unfortunately those walls will not be hearing Michelle’s laughter. Instead of being the Wonderful-“One”-till-death-do-you-part, he turned out to be “The One” who bitterly hurt and humiliated her. Why buy a 1.7-Million Euro flat in Frankfurt for your happy life together, and then cheat on Tinder? The crazy thing is that two women sent me an email yesterday, saying that they have been “dating” this same greasy coward at the same time! What a mess!

This is how you can find out if your “loving” partner is cheating on you on Tinder (for both men and women). If you truly trust your partner, then don’t do it. If you feel something is fishy, then try it. I must warn you, be careful what you look for, because those who seek often find. The truth is not always nice.

1. Create a fake account on Facebook
2. Upload some beautiful photos (not of you of course) – make sure they look real and are not model/campaign photos.
3. Download Tinder, and create a profile.
4. Swipe, swipe, swipe, until you either find your partner or not. It’s a game of Russian roulette. You might be one of the lucky ones that have a good love on your side, who still has morals and is faithful.
5. If you do find your partner, click the match heart.
6. If s/he doesn’t click the match heart back, at least you now know that they are on Tinder.
7. If you get a “match” with your partner, then make a date with them, and give them a surprise from hell – where they are from.
8. This is a rough test, but it’s better to find out sooner than later. Always know that you deserve the best, and should have someone in your life that truly loves you, and wants to be only with you!

Even if these people are not meeting anyone on Tinder for sex, and are just “testing the waters”, this is actually the beginning of the end. If you think there’s something better out there for you, don’t waste your partner’s time and drag them along, while you’re “window shopping” for someone else! This is cruel and shameful. Let me remind the cheaters once again that Lady Karma is out there, and likes to get her revengeful claws deep into the flesh, digging out the heart and guts, full of dirty blood and tears. Cruelty will not go unpunished. If one causes pain to others, then it will come back to them – but much worse. So be aware. Karma doesn’t miss anyone. Sometimes it takes days or years, but she always manages to get her job done! So, liar liar pants on fire – get your ass off of Tinder, build up some courage, and do the decent human thing – talk to your partner and straighten things out! Either you are faithful or breakup, but don’t destroy a good person just because of your disgusting selfish need for cheap fast sex.

Players – male and female.
Players – male and female. 1354 437 Galia Brener

Welcome to an age where things move so fast, that even the aliens are almost ready to visit us. We live in a time where everyone is on the go, looking for bigger and better things. The ultimate career, the handsome alpha male husband, the top flawless figure, a bigger house, faster car, younger girlfriend – or maybe even two. The list goes on and on. More, bigger, faster, better. But in such a demanding and consuming society, where does this leave matters of the heart? Always wanting bigger and better, have we forgotten to slow down, smell the roses and fully open our hearts to true love?

My good friend Heather Klein is a very loving, sweet and sensitive girl. One evening we went out for drinks, and she met a handsome man. He was tall and muscular, had pitch-black hair like a raven, and yellow-green eyes. He looked like a supernatural Rembrandt painting. I found him to be very mysterious, but somewhat too “creepy” for my taste – it was his strange yellow eyes that made me feel almost uncomfortable. However Heather was mesmerized beyond belief by him. After a little while, the bartender served Heather a cold glass of champagne, compliments from “Mr. Raven” across the bar. Heather shot him a smile mixed with innocence and seduction – and so the game has begun. He came over to us, his eyes burning and fixated on Heather. They were inseparable the entire evening, talking about life, literature, art and their adventures. I was extremely happy to see an exuberant smile on Heather’s face, because it’s been a while since her ex cold-heatedly left her without looking back.

Heather and Mr. Raven started seeing each other. He took her out for nice dinners, dancing, and long walks along the river Main. Her feelings for him grew more intense each day, however there were things that bothered her. For example, there were days when he did not contact her at all, and if she would write him, it took a day or longer for him to answer, even though he was online quite often. He was never available for her on the weekends, and didn’t introduce her to any of his friends. He didn’t plan dates with her in advance, and usually just wrote text messages, asking her to meet with him spontaneously in the evening. It seemed like he had many other “engagements” to take care of simultaneously. She felt in her heart that he was a player, yet she liked him so much! Two weeks have passed, and she slept with him for the first time. After that romantic Saturday evening in bed, he left her flat early the next day. The dates became less frequent, and the month after he stopped writing her all together, saying that he had a new project at work which occupied most of his time.

Last week we were at the Sullivan Bar, and saw the “new project” that was occupying him. The project was tall, blonde, slim and very beautiful. He saw Heather from across the bar, but this time no champagne was sent to her. She only received a pitiful stare, which made her heart bleed from the sheer coldness of it. She came home with a heavily tear-stained face, and melted onto her historic polished wood floors. She couldn’t stop crying. Heather has been played in the cruelest way – by a man in disguise – pretending to look for love.

Ladies and gentlemen, “the player” comes in all forms, shapes and sizes – so be aware! Unfortunately for the kind and sweet ones, the ones who open up their heart and soul to these monsters, they don’t know what hit them until it’s too late. However, these creatures can be identified, if close attention is paid to these facts:

1. Communication is never constant with a player. One day you can be texting many times back and forth, and the next day or two you won’t hear a thing from them. They can be online, but wont answer you.

2. They have many friends of the opposite sex. Of course they are only “friends”. Some might actually be friends, but most are usually the ones they are sleeping with.

3. They keep you waiting on hold, and don’t make dates with you in advance. They usually ask to see you last minute, and can cancel a date without proper notice. They only have time once or maximum twice a week to see you. Forget weekends with them – they have no time, or are gone.

4. They flirt with others in your presence.

5. Promises promises promises – without actions – just words.

6. They are not interested much about what’s going on in your life. They talk mainly about themselves, and don’t ask questions about you – they simply don’t care.

7. You haven’t met their friends – s/he doesn’t invite you when they are all out together.

8. They don’t share their life plans, goals and aspiration with you. Your interaction is kept on a superficial and sexual level.

9. They don’t pursue you, or make the effort to win you over. You are usually the one chasing them.

10.  They are not emotionally available and open to you. Usually they don’t want to cuddle and do romantic things with you.

Ladies and gentlemen, even though this sounds like a hard truth, there are ways to avoid this unnecessary heartbreak. Keep your eyes and ears open! Listen to what they say and make your assessment. Pay attention to your gut feeling, because usually deep down we know and feel when someone has genuine intentions for us, or just wants to play us. Don’t close your eyes on the small hints and signs. However, if you like this person and want more from them – communicate this! You have nothing to lose! Nothing tests a player better than telling them straightforward that you are not a person to be put on hold. Take a risk and say that you are not looking for a quick affair or easy sex, and see how they react. If they slowly disappear from your life, then you have your answer. What also works well is waiting to have sex. Players usually don’t stick around that long if they can’t see the potential of getting sex. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself, and if you see the warning signs, be smart and make the right decision. Life is too short to play games where someone ends up with pain – and it’s never the player that gets hurt!

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