Galia Brener

Ladies this one is for you. I know that all women have occupied themselves – at least once in their life – with the thought, “Am I beautiful?” Some have more self-esteem, some have less, but at the end of the day, what does “being beautiful” really mean? I asked myself, is “classical beauty” really so important to have? After looking closely at this topic, I realized that a real sensual appeal is not so much connected to the traditional sense of the word “beauty”. In fact, I came to understand that being beautiful does not automatically make one sexy!

There is an immense pressure in society for women to assimilate to a standard form of beauty. But guess what dear ladies; the classical definition of beauty has nothing to do with sex appeal and sensuality. Have you ever walked down the street, saw couple where the man is handsome and the woman looks like an average grey mouse, and thought to yourself, “What the hell does he see in her?” To you on the outside, she might not appear to be a beauty, yet there is something about her that is sensual and appealing to him. Whether it’s her feminine walk, the way she pouts her lips when she’s thinking or her extremely big eyes that might look like an alien to you, yet to him she’s a sensual catwoman! In fact, many of the women that do possess classical beauty surprisingly have a low self-esteem, which is quite the opposite of what men are attracted to.

I made a very interesting observation. Last week, I was in the train and saw a woman that matches the classical definition of beauty, with perfectly sized and symmetrical facial and body features. Yet surprisingly, she appeared plain. There were no edges or anything unique, which made her stand out and noticeable, yet her features were perfect in themselves. If I saw her again I would not recognize her. That was the moment I actually realized that it’s true what they say: the imperfections are what make people truly unique, noticeable, characteristic, sensual and sexy! The imperfections are the elements that create perfection.

My good friend Jilli is a good example for this topic. She admits that she has a big nose, bad skin, her chin is too long and pointy, and she has very thin and sensitive skin, which shows each wrinkle and cellulite that she has. She says about herself, “I am far from being a classical beauty, yet I know that I am damn sexy, and have a very strong and sensual effect on men.” And she’s right. I know in fact that many men like her, write, call, contact her and want to be with her. Her face is very unique and her naturally large lips and eyes blend well together with her aquiline nose and protruding chin. Her features are not symmetrical or perfectly shaped, and she would never fit in the traditional definition of beauty, yet she is one of the most sensual women that I know. Her mysterious smile, and the perfect timing how she looks down to hide an amused glance, or the way she sways her curvy hips when she walks, or how her lips look cute like a duck when looking at her profile, her overly-defined cheekbones and the way her teeth point out on the edges, all contribute to her extreme sensuality. Jilli’s appearance is like sushi: you either love it or hate it, but you will never forget it. She once dated a plastic surgeon that “kindly” wanted to give her nose job for her birthday. While some women would have been ecstatic at this idea, Jilli was appalled at the thought of being put to sleep, having her nose broken and chiseled, having the skin reshaped on the broken nose, and letting the bone and skin heal again. Such pain! And for what? For her superficial doc boyfriend to love her “more” for her smaller nose?! No way! She threw his flakey ass to the curb, where it belongs.

Ladies you have to realize that sexiness and sensuality have more to do with your personality, self-esteem, attitude, ability to love and laugh at yourself, your humor, achievements, body language and movements, rather than with your classical beauty features. Rejoice in the fact that the gap between your teeth, your upper lip that’s bigger than your lower, your round bum, your contagious laugh, your curly red hair, your boney knees, your freckled face, your big nose, large forehead, or any other feature that makes you unique, is a wonderful bonus to your appearance. You might be surprised that those things that you don’t like about yourself seem incredibly attractive to others. Those little odd things about you, are your signature trademarks that make you, YOU! Classic beauty tends to be boring and unspectacular, yet unique facial and body characteristics can be extremely hot, sexy and exciting. My advise would be instead of concentrating on the things that you hate about yourself, try to give more attention to the things that you love about yourself, and learn to embrace the odd things about your appearance! Make the best of what you have. Instead of trying to fix what’s not necessarily broken, why not adore what’s already perfectly beautiful about you?