Yearly Archives :

2013

The Me-Inventory
The Me-Inventory 1354 437 Galia Brener

You’ve had your Christmas fun, and now for the few days before the New Year starts, it’s time to get down to business. What is such an urgent task that cannot wait until next year, you ask? The task is the one and only “Me-Inventory”. It sounds quite simple, but actually it can get deep and dirty, with truths exposed and shocking things revealed. But since we are tough guys and gals, and I’m sure that you can handle it, I will share my secret with you. At the end of each year, I make a thorough inventory of my life for that year – from top to bottom, not overlooking any gruesome details. At the end, I see what I have achieved, learned, and what I can do much better next year. This helps me grow as a woman, as a person, and also helps to increase success. However, you must be completely honest with yourself, or else this won’t work for you. So my lovelies, let’s start!

1. Achievements: Let’s start with the nice stuff! This was a damn long year, for some a horrible one, and for others a positive one. But for many, 2013 was a year for the fighting spirit – the Samurai among us. Think back to all of the great things you achieved this year. This includes a new career, having a loving relationship, building your first house, having a child, getting married, overcoming addictions, or whatever wonderful thing you achieved this year, take some time to honor it. Anyone who achieved anything important in 2013 deserves to celebrate, because this bitch of a year was a difficult astrological one, and hence you deserve double recognition for it. You must praise yourself for your success, and feel proud of what you did. I made it a ritual to buy myself a present at the end of the year to celebrate my achievements. Spoiling yourself once in a while is very important, because it helps to remind you of accomplishments and appreciate your own worth.

2. Screw-ups: let’s be honest, we are no angels. I can think back and list a few mistakes I made this year, and so can you. This is where it gets hard because we don’t usually like to admit our mistakes, especially to ourselves! But since you’re brave, and a new year is starting, push yourself to do it. Think back. Have you hurt someone? Played, cheated, stole, backstabbed, told lies, broke hearts and promises, acted disrespectfully or cruelly? Maybe it is yourself that you hurt with something like a bad habit, or allowing others to treat you badly? Maybe you let something slip away that you regret? Send your ego to hell for a moment, and really open yourself up and remember the mistakes you made. Try to acknowledge the wrongs that you did, and see if there is a chance to set things right again. If you are brave enough, you can even contact the person and ask them for forgiveness – it is your Karma after all. If you have already set things right again, then it is time to forgive yourself, forgive the other person, forgive the situation, and move on.

3. Lessons: 2013 was the year with the most life lessons for me so far. Some of them hit me hard and were not so easy to learn, while the others I embraced quite quickly and open-heartedly. Look back and figure out what were your most important lessons of this year. Life threw you these bones, hoping that you will learn and improve on your mistakes. If these lessons are not learned, they will only enter your life again and again, and torture you until you will finally get it. To be honest, I did not learn a lesson in 2012, and the very same thing happened to me at the very same time in 2013! It was so creepy! You have to realize what life is trying to show you, and make improvements on these things, so that you can grow and move on. Think back, what could you have done better? Take these lessons and use them for your good in 2014, and do things better this time around! And please, do not be angry at your fate – this happened for you to become a better and stronger person.

4. Cleaner: Don’t worry, no killing mafia skills necessary. Look back at the year, and make an inventory of the people in your life. Be honest to yourself: Is there anyone who has to be cleaned out of your life? Do you have so-called “friends” that are dishonest, don’t care about you, or even worse, jealous of you? What about a partner that does not respect, appreciate, and truly love you, or maybe doesn’t want to make a commitment to you? They don’t deserve you, and be assured that Lady Karma will take “good” care of them. Let it go, and get rid of them! Sometimes people come into your life for a reason, and once their mission is fulfilled, it is better to send them along their way before they cause more damage in your life. Try to get rid of all toxic people that do you no good before this year ends. Surround yourself only with goodness – and with people that will respect, love, appreciate, honor, and truly love and care for you – and you for them.

The last days before the year ends are some of the most crucial ones. This special time provides us with a moment to become quieter and look deep within ourselves. It’s a chance to reminisce about the funny, lovely and good things that happened, and allows us to learn from our mistakes. It’s an opportunity to make things right again. It’s a chance to say goodbye to the old, and make space for the wonderful new and exciting things to come. If you feel brave enough, try to do the Me-Inventory. It helps me each year, and offers great reassurance. Besides, the best thing about completing the Me-Inventory is the fact that you have another chance right around the corner: New Year, new start!

No Sex with the Ex
No Sex with the Ex 1354 437 Galia Brener

It’s a cold winter Saturday night, and you have no plans to go out. You decide to order some delicious sushi, and watch your favorite movie on the couch wrapped in a blanket. You look at the warm crunchy tiger rolls, and memories race back to the times when you sat on the couch together with your ex, cuddled in that same blanket, and fed each other those rolls. Your heart automatically skips a beat. You know it didn’t work out, and you’re not even sure if breaking up was a good idea or not, but the longing feeling starts to gnaw at you, followed by a tingling feeling between your legs. Just thinking about him makes you hot. All of a sudden, your phone rings and it’s him! The connection is still there, and he was thinking about you at the same time! He says, “Hello” and you feel yourself melting into the couch. His voice brings you back to the good days. The tingling between your legs is getting stronger. He says he misses you, and wants to come over and see you. You’re longing to see him. Bloody hell, what are you going to do? You want to kiss and feel him again. You want his arms wrapped tightly around you, just one more time. What will you do?

My friend Heather was dating her boyfriend for three years, and one day they decided to split up. She was deeply grieving inside, because she still loved him. It took her a few months to stabilize her emotions, and slowly start feeling better. She was going out with her friends, enjoyed her days at the office, and even met a new guy. However one evening, her ex called and said he missed her, and wanted to see her. She knew it was a bad idea, but she needed his closeness, his touch and his love again. She put on her sexiest outfit, did her makeup and opened up a bottle of prosecco to calm her nerves. The doorbell rang and she let him in. She was so happy to see him. Her body was shaking a bit from the nervousness, and noticing that, he gave her a tight hug. They didn’t let go. They stood in this hugging position for minutes beside the door. Finally they slowly made it to the couch, and started catching up on the last few months. They had so much to tell each other. Heather felt so good to have him beside her again. She wanted to stop time, and have him stay there forever. Of course in this moment she forgot about all of the bad things he did to her. How he took her for granted, said bad words to her, didn’t respect or appreciate her. That dark crap was momentarily forgotten. After a deep conversation and a few glasses of wine, one thing led to another and they started kissing.

He held her face between his hands and pulled her towards him. Those lips. Damn it, how she missed those passionate lips on hers. This second, this minute was all she ever wanted and will ever need. The love and emotions rushed right back into her heart, and the bad stuff was immediately forgotten. His big hands started to explore her body, and his warm palms felt like burning coals on her skin. She was wet, and wanted him inside of her now! Again he had this effect on her. Every single fucking time! She still loved him, but she also hated him. This stupid bastard hurt and destroyed her so much, but she just couldn’t say no. She ripped open the buttons of his jeans, grabbed his big friend and sat on him. She took out all of her anger, sadness and bitterness while riding him, and made sure that he will get a show that he will never forget. She was rotating her hips in circles while sitting on him, and kissed his strong muscular chest. He wrapped him arms around her and forcefully pulled her towards him. She pressed her forehead against his neck. She breathed in the familiar smell, and felt the hot tears run down her face. They fell asleep in each other’s arms, like back in the good days. After they had breakfast, he gave her one of his famous mind-blowing-nipple-hardening kisses. He pulled her tightly to his chest, and she could hear his rotten heart beat. After a few minutes, he left.

When Heather told me this story, the hair on my neck was standing. Why do we do this to ourselves? Heather told me that she was hoping to get him back by allowing him into her life, and using the sex card. Well, let me tell you, the sex card hardly ever works – don’t confuse it for the joker card in a relationship. Just as I predicted, Heather fell back in love with him, and the ex simply used this comfortable situation. He kept on coming over to her place, she always fed him, slept with him, caressed him, gave him attention and passion, and he would leave the next day – his batteries fully charged, and hers rather empty. She talked to him a few weeks after they started the “Sex with the ex”-torment, and asked if he would like to give it another chance. His answer was, “Heather, you know it didn’t work out between us, and we don’t want to continue hurting each other. What we have now is nice, isn’t it?” BAM! Like a slap right in her face! Meaning – I like to have sex with you, but I don’t want to be with you. Who the hell needs this emotional sadomasochism?

Very rarely does sex with the ex brings couples back together. If it does, it is usually a very temporary phenomenon, and someone will end up getting hurt again. I would really suggest you not to sleep with your ex, especially if you still have feelings for him/her. No good will come of this, and you will only get emotionally slaughtered in the process. It’s like a wound that never heals, because you keep on ripping the scab off, and the blood continues to gush out. Let the wound heal. Let your heart heal. Instead of making yourself beautiful for your ex, take the time to go out there and meet someone new. Imagine having a clean fresh start, where everything is new and exciting. Wouldn’t it be great to meet the right one, instead of being sucked back into the quicksand? Actually, sex with the ex is mental masturbation, and I don’t think that sounds so appealing, does it?

Frankfurt, I ❤ You! (Part III)
Frankfurt, I ❤ You! (Part III) 1354 437 Galia Brener

Winter has arrived, and the cold air has swept up the sun and send her on holiday to the other end of the world. However, the disappearance of the sun does not mean that we have to run away as well. Quite the opposite actually, because we can stay right here in our beautiful Frankfurt and have the most fabulous winter ever. This city offers us many romantic hideaways, loud fun places, and warm cozy escapes where you can melt your worries away.

I surprised my boyfriend Tommy, and organizing a romantic weekend in our stunning Mainhattan. This was an exciting chance to see if one can really have a romantic getaway without getting away from the city – and to my surprise – it’s very possible! The T-Man came home and saw his small suitcase packed beside the door. At first the poor guy was very confused, but after I reassured him that no one is moving out, I asked him to dress up warm because we were about to go on a little adventure. The first stop was at the most beautiful Christmas market in the world, of course the one here in Frankfurt. We made our way straight to the cheese fondue stand and let the delicious warm cheese fill our stomachs with pure joy. The next mission: warm alcoholic drinks to jump-start the weekend. The older lady at the stand fell in love with Tommy, and kept topping off our drinks with large shots of rum. There is nothing wrong with prostituting your man for free drinks and front-row center places across the majestic Christmas tree. Of course the market would not be complete without the people beside us bitching about how shabby and lifeless the big tree looked. So like any other proud Frankfurter, I boldly defended the honor of our Christmas, and put those people back in their places. The Feuerzangenbowle-Lady, who happens to be a true Sachsenhausen’er, also fell in love with me for that, and gave us a drink on the house.

Laughing to the point of tears, we decided to leave before getting beaten up. Tommy lifted me up and carried me upside down on his back to the taxi stand. We drove quickly past the flat, picked up our bags and continued on our mission: Romance in FFM. He had no idea where the taxi was racing to, and with a nice illegal sharp turn, we drove into the driveway of the Villa Kennedy. As we walked in, the beauty of the old building took my breath away, and it was like stepping into a beautiful Italian Palazzo in the early 1900’s. I looked around, and felt as if the walls where whispering their romantic stories quietly in my ear. I knew right away that this would be a magical weekend. As we were guided to our suite, I couldn’t help but scream of happiness at the sight of a 1.5 meter real gingerbread cookie house! It was like being in a fairytale. The smell was absolutely phenomenal, and Tommy had to pull me away before I would start biting the roof.

We finally made our way to the huge suite, and started running around in circles, chasing each other through all of the rooms. Finally after the 7th round, we noticed the beautiful arrangement on the table, welcoming us to the Villa Kennedy. It looked like a work of art made of Murano glass, but actually it was beautifully arrayed chocolate and fresh fruit, which were placed there to sweeten up our stay. Next to the fruit, I found a handwritten card from the beautiful Katharina Metternich, welcoming us to the glorious Villa. Now that’s what I call a fabulous woman with style and class!

It was time to get dolled up and take my handsome man for a nice dinner. We went downstairs, and started the evening with proper Bloody Marys and worked our way to Rib Eye steaks with French Fries. I finished all 320 grams of my meat, which was one of the best steaks I have had in a while. The meat was perfectly prepared medium rare, just the way I like it. I must have been a man in my past life, because for me, love definitely goes through the stomach. As we heard the piano from the bar, I looked at my T-Man, then looked around at the heart-warming ambiance of the Gusto restaurant, and felt that the world was at peace on this wintery Saturday evening. On the way back up, we found some hidden stairs that connect the second and third floor, which gives one the perfect hiding place for secret kisses! As we walked into the suite with happily satisfied smiles upon our faces, I took the “Do not disturb” sign – which is the perfect sign for romantic weekends – and hung it on the door.

If the love and effort are there, even the sun comes back for a nice morning kiss. The last part of my surprise was about to take place. I booked us the Romantic Moments massage, which is a treatment for two in the partner room, decorated with rose petals. We were served champagne, chocolate covered strawberries and delicious pralines to go with our relaxing body massage. It was heaven on Earth, or rather heaven in Frankfurt. We left the Villa Kennedy happy, relaxed, and smiling at each other like two naughty teenagers. After coming home from such a romantic weekend, of course all balance had to be restored, and Tommy made me watch the Godfather movies with him. This was a very magical weekend for me, and actually even better than getting away! No far distance to fly or drive, and such fun and relaxation directly inside the city. My love for Frankfurt grows each day, because this city slowly opens up so many of its mysterious to me. There is something about Frankfurt that other cities can only dream of, and that’s authenticity. We can do apple wine. We can do rock. We can do cool. We can do chic… and we can definitely do romance! Frankfurt, you will always have my love.

Who pays the bill?
Who pays the bill? 1354 437 Galia Brener

We live in a time of emancipation, where the women are becoming men, and the helpless men are getting in touch with their feminine side. Great! It’s a real dream come true… not. Since the roles are slowly reversing, and women have begun to grow balls, I sit here and wonder, who pays the bill? I’m still a firm believer in the old fashioned way. I adore the courting, the romance and that vision of a strong, loyal and loving man who you can rely on through thick and thin. I have heard many women say that they can do everything on their own, and don’t need a man to pay for them because they don’t want to owe anyone anything. Maybe it’s time to stop this bitter degradation, and allow men to be men, and women to be women again?

This week I went to the Christmas market in Frankfurt with a good girlfriend of mine. She’s a charming woman, and a great flirt, so I knew it will be a fun evening. The cold winter air, the enormous Christmas tree covered in flickering lights, and the magical carousel made it seem like we were part of a fairytale! We decided to start off the evening with a glass of warm apple wine, to keep up our Frankfurt winter tradition. By the time the drinks were paid and I turned around, my man-magnet friend was already talking to three guys. They were a loud group, but very friendly and funny. Of course the conversation turned to men and women, and then the topic came up, who pays the bill? The handsome one said that the man should pay on the first date. The grouchy cocky one said that the woman should pay, and the crazy loud one said, who cares who pays, as long as they end up in bed! Interesting how men love to gossip about this stuff just as much as woman do.

After screaming around for a bit and showing some mucho admiration, the guys have decided that: the man should pay for the first date, but there should be an effort from the woman to reach into her wallet and offer to chip something in. They even re-enacted a scene for us, as if the bill came and the woman “pretends” to reach for her wallet. I watched them, amused beyond belief. I asked them, “What happens when the bill comes and the woman doesn’t “fake-reach-her-wallet”, but sincerely says thank you instead?” Is it just about the searching-for-the-wallet-move that the men are looking for? But if they genuinely want to treat the lady, why need the fake-wallet-search? After all, a date is a date, or have things changed that much in the lasts years? The Christmas guys had no answer for this.

A male acquaintance of mine, let’s call him Two-F, says that the worst kind of women are the “No-thank-you” ones. He doesn’t mean the ones that always say no, but rather the ones that never say thank you. He once met a woman at a street fest, and they seemed to click, so he invited her to a nice restaurant after the fest. They had a delicious meal, and when he paid, she just shot him a half empty-hearted smile and got up. He found that to be strange because she didn’t even say thank you. She asked if he wants to grab a drink at a bar before going home, and he agreed. They spent two more hours at the bar talking about life, and their adventures. When the bill came, she simply turned around and pretended to look at something beside their table. Two-F paid the bill, and they left the bar. On the way out, the woman looked totally bored, and of course did not bother to thank him for the drinks. Two-F didn’t mind to pay the bill the entire evening, but the smallest gesture of saying “thank you” would have been appreciated. They exchanged numbers and he went home. He never called her again, and after a few months, they bumped into each other at a party. She asked why he never called, and he simply smiled and told her that she’s a spoiled bitch.

So who should actually pay the bloody bill? If a man is interested in the woman that he is meeting, then he should pay for the bill on the first date and see how it goes. Think of it as a small investment. This might after all be the woman of your dreams, and it’s part of the gentleman’s code. Most women rationalize that if the man pays, then he is taking somewhat of a responsibility, and honors her company. To her it also means that he is a generous, established man, and might be ready for something more than a one-time flirt. Besides, it’s a very nice and old-fashioned gesture that is appreciated by the right women. Ladies, I so often hear you complaining that men are becoming weaker and have lost the gentleman’s touch, so here is a perfect chance to let the men be men again! Allow them to treat you to a nice dinner, and show them your appreciation.

Appreciation is the key! Ladies, please lose your balls, and don’t feel patronized if your date offers to pay for you. Accept his kind offer with a warm smile and thank him. It’s that easy! Men want to be kind to us, and make us feel special, but sometimes we don’t allow them this, and take their power away. Then additionally we get frustrated and complain that they don’t treat us well, but how could they if we don’t give them the chance to? This does not mean that the man must always pay, but if he feels that he wants to invite you, allow him to be a gentleman. To show appreciation, be the next one to invite him to a nice dinner. It’s very important to return the gesture and treat him to something nice as well. Life is all about giving and taking. Usually men do not expect a huge gesture of you kissing their feet in return for them paying the bill, but a warm, kind and sincere “thank you” really goes a long way! So gentlemen, bring back proper old-fashioned dating, and treat that special lady to an unforgettable evening, and feel free to pay the bill.

Shall we flirt?
Shall we flirt? 1354 437 Galia Brener

I like to observe people all around me. Last week I was on the train, and saw a pretty young lady sitting not too far away from me. As the train reached the Frankfurt main station, a handsome man walked in and sat down across from her. I was somewhat excited, because I felt that I will get a nice article inspiration from this scenario, and I did! Flirting varies from person to person. Some are simply born with the talent to flirt and charm, some feel awkward doing it, some think it’s cheap, while others are flirt-o-holics, and cannot live without it. So what’s the secret to flirting, and how is it done in a classy way with best results?

Back to my train-spying-romance-story. I looked closely at the woman, and noticed that her eyes brightened when she saw him. She straightened her posture, and tried to make herself more alluring to him. He didn’t notice a thing. She glanced at him, and looked away. The ride was quite long, so she did that many times, but the guy still had no clue. After a few more attempts, she gave up her subtleness and just stared shamelessly at him. She arched her back, placed a half smile on her lips, and looked fiercely into his eyes without blinking! She seemed hungry, like in a cannibal-cloud-nine-bath-salts kind of way. I was watching them, entertained out of my mind – who needs a movie when you have freak shows all over the city? She tried to bat her eyelashes at him – but instead of being sexy, it looked like she was trying to blink her own eyelid away, opening her eyes wider each time. The guy was squirming very uncomfortably in his seat by now. Eventually her “flirting” scared the hell out of him, and he got up and walked quickly away. So ladies and gentlemen, now that we know the wrong way to flirt, let’s see how we can do it better.

1. The eye contact: This is the most important aspect of the flirt-system! What usually works for me is first a quick glace in his direction. If he’s into me, he will look back. If not… “Next!” To hell with him. If he sends you a glance back, lock eyes and look away. Continue doing that for a few times, each time locking eyes for longer periods of time. I wouldn’t recommend looking over too often. Besides, you will feel and see if he’s interested or not.

2. The smile: After the eye contact, comes your time to shine – beam him with a warm and welcoming smile, but please don’t overdo it. We don’t want to come across as psychopaths – a.k.a. – Train Girl. A genuine smile is the sexiest thing and guy or girl can wear, because it shows happiness. Happy people are very attractive. As with the first step, look and smile a few times. If s/he smiles back, you’re in! If not, don’t waste your time because they are most likely not interested.

3. The approach: This one is more for the guys. I’m a bit of an old fashioned nerd, and don’t approach men first. I feel that if I have sent out the right signals, topped it off with a warm lovely smile, and if he’s interested, he will approach me. Here comes the best part gentlemen – all you have to do is walk over, smile and say hello. Offer her a drink, and introduce yourself. No pick up lines, no playing too cool, no wise guy remarks. Just be sincere, warm and friendly. It’s really as easy as that. If this doesn’t work, then move on.

4. Body language: Do not cross your arms when talking to him/her. Do not lean away from the person, and instead, lean towards them in the conversation. What works is to imitate their body language in a nice way, and don’t hold out on the smiles. Don’t act too serious, and be open and relaxed. Make sure you have a good posture and don’t slouch.

5. Be charming: Ask him or her questions, and show that you are interested in what they have to say – but don’t fake it. Be genuine, and only show interest if it’s there. When talking, a gentle touch on the arm, or a playful push and laugh is always a nice way to create subtle closeness. Don’t brag about how great your career is, or how cool your friends think you are. No one likes show-offs. Respect the other person, and show your good manners. An honest compliment is also great. Everyone likes to hear something nice about themselves, but don’t get too personal right away.

6. Most important – Lower your expectations: If you meet someone that you really like, do not start dreaming right away that this could be the one, and put pressure on yourself. Men and women smell this neediness, and this is not the impression you want to leave. So if it goes well, exchange numbers and take it from there. I highly recommended going slow at the beginning.

Flirting is a nice way to increase your self-esteem and confirm to yourself that you are attractive to others. It’s a way of saying to yourself, “I still have the touch.” Flirting is great for getting to know someone who has caught your eye, and improving your communication skills. It’s also a great energy booster, and puts you in a positive mood. However, if someone is clearly not responding to your flirting, accept that they are not that into you and walk away. Don’t continue, thinking that they are simply playing hard to get. You will see and feel when it’s not working out. Not everyone is meant to be for everyone – that would be too boring. Your turn will come. Do not let anyone bring you down, and have faith that you deserve true love, and know that you will have it. Know your worth, and always respect yourself. When you do, so will others! Go out and enjoy a nice evening of flirting. So what do you think, shall we flirt?

Who is afraid of commitment?
Who is afraid of commitment? 1354 437 Galia Brener

To commit or not to commit, that is not the questions anymore. Welcome to the dawn of a new era, where some people think that being single is a luxury, whereas marriage with children for them is considered as slavery, or even worse, a prison sentence. My single friends say that commitment has become an old-fashioned theory of the past, and even more so within the last few years. What is happening to our society, and why are people so scared of the “C” word? Could it be that in the near future, we will only be able to read about commitment in history books? Or will romance still exist if we make the right choices?

My friend Gloria was seeing a CEO of a very well known bank in Frankfurt. They met at the JFK’s Bar of the magnificent Villa Kennedy hotel. He was sitting at the opposite end of the bar with his colleagues, and she was there with her best friend. “Tony M” is a very powerful and well-known man in this city. Gloria didn’t know who he was, and that surprised him. They hit it off right away, talking about travel, culture and art. She had a lot to say, and that amused him. She was a hot little firecracker, he thought. He took her out to lovely restaurants, and treated her to delicious food and wine. He tried his moves on her, but Gloria didn’t want it to go too fast. She always made the same mistake in the past by sleeping with men too soon. However with this one, she decided to take her time. Tony was very turned on by this. The more she said no, the more he wanted her. Four weeks later she decided to finally sleep with him. After a long romantic dinner, they went back to his flat. They hardly made it upstairs, and started undressing each other in the small antique elevator. She accidentally ripped his shirt buttons, and her friskiness drove him wild! They had sex three times that night, and stayed up until the morning hours, talking about life, love, honor and adventures. She felt at such ease beside him, like she could really be herself. He caressed her, and his gentle touch confirmed his feelings towards her. She left his flat the next day skipping and singing, elated with happiness.

She waited for his call that evening, but her phone did not ring. They met a few days later, but she felt that everything has drastically changed. There was no more romance or effort on his part. She knew it was over, and this thought made her sick to her stomach. They met a few times again, but it became worse. He was cold and distant to her, and even a bit mean. Gloria called me crying desperately. “Why?!” she asked. “What did I do wrong?” She said they had such lovely deep conversations, so much in common, and such fun together. She thought that he might be “The One”! She was devastated. She couldn’t eat or sleep for weeks. She felt so hurt and betrayed, but worse of all, she felt used like a cheap whore. Gloria is a great woman. She’s smart, attractive, warm, funny and very feminine. What the hell was wrong with Tony, and why did he do this to her? Only a few weeks ago he looked her straight in the eyes, saying how much he liked her, and a month later, she saw him with three different women. Is Tony simply an asshole, or is there another reason behind his disgusting behavior?

What is the real reason behind fear of commitment? I came up with three possibilities:

1. People are looking for “the next best thing.” Some have a perpetual need for something bigger, better, sexier, richer, more fun, younger… more more more! Since everything is offered by the masses, and there are limitless opportunities and temptations everywhere, the thought of “Could I do better?” often pops up in their heads. There is nothing wrong with searching for your Prince Charming and Miss Right, but to the temporary “place holders” you are dating, you might actually be their dream man/woman. Therefore tell them right away how you see it, and don’t damage them. They did nothing wrong to deserve this egoistic crap, so learn to have mercy. Think of karma, because it will come and bite where it hurts. For the ones suffering in this situation, it could be that s/he is just not that into you. It happened to me before, and I know it hurts like hell, but you can’t force love. Besides, don’t you want someone who truly loves you, and not someone that you have to run after, and feel stupid doing so? Respect yourself, and know that you deserve to be loved. Move on.

2. People have been badly hurt in he past, and don’t want to go through that pain again. What about, “No risk, no love”? Getting hurt is a bitch, but we have all been there. (Some like myself, even more than once). I always encourage my friends to find their courage and get back into the boxing… or rather, dating ring. It’s a 50/50 chance to get knocked out again, or come out as a champion with the love of your life beside you. Giving into hurt and bitterness by hiding in your own shell to lick the wounds is ok for the first few months, but then survivorship and courage must kick in. You must allow yourself to have another chance in love. Don’t be your own victim, because the next person you meet might be the one you have been waiting for all along. True love is only for the very strong – because if you can handle some knockouts, and after that still aspire to find love, then you deserve it!

3. People want to simply enjoy the sex buffet and have fun. If you want a serious commitment, keep your hands away from these ones. Who needs a guy who wants to sleep with a different girl every few days? The Internet offers meat… oops, I mean flirts and dates, left and right. When going out, some offer themselves on a platter, “Take me, take me!!” No way. Just thinking of disease opportunities gives me the shivers. When it comes to these sorts of “love phobics”, send them to the next red light district area with 50 euros, and erase them out of you existence. Trust me, this 50 will be the best investment you have ever made, because their disappearance out of your life is priceless! We live in a time where people offer an auction online for their virginity. So maybe “sex-buffet-wo/man” is not the best candidate for dreaming of a fabulous future together. Again, move on. Cry for a day, but be happy for a lifetime.

If you want a serious relationship, stay away from the people with the above mentioned symptoms. These “illnesses” do not have an over-the-counter cure. Maybe the broken heart guy still has a chance, but out of personal experience, these cases take ages to cure, and usually you are left alone and hurting. My advice is to listen to your gut feeling. Put on your magic glasses, and look carefully through the “Lens of Truth”. Play Sherlock Holmes, and pay attention to the small things they say or do, because there are many hints given to you. Also look careful at how they act around their family, friends, children and elderly people. Take your time to get to know them, and don’t give your heart away too quickly. That was always my bloody mistake. But with time, I learned to listen and observe better. I like to think that when you meet people with fear of commitment, it’s actually your angels taking care of you not to fall in love with the wrong person who will make your life miserable. So allow your angels to do their work, and don’t interfere in their magic. They have a nice plan for you, so have faith.

Sugar Daddy? No, thank you.
Sugar Daddy? No, thank you. 1354 437 Galia Brener

Freedom. This is a fundamental element in the life of any human being. For some, freedom means running around wild from party to party, not tied down by a relationship, and living for the moment. For others, freedom means to have financial independence and not worry about how to survive the next month. How one “achieves” this financial independence is what makes or breaks the person. Some get a job – which they might love or hate – but nevertheless is an honest way to earn this independence. Some might resort to a sugar daddy hunt in order to find a rich man that will take care of their every need and desire. But is that really considered as “freedom”? We all know that you don’t get something for nothing, so how high of a price does a woman have to pay when having a sugar daddy?

Prostitution is known as the world’s oldest profession. Ever since barter and currency have existed, so has prostitution. I have turned to the oxford dictionary for an accurate definition of prostitution: “The practice or occupation of engaging in sexual activity with someone for payment”. I also looked up the definition of a sugar baby (one who has a Sugar Daddy). Since this word is a slang, I found the meaning in the urban dictionary: “A woman who provides companionship and/or sexual relations for a wealthy man in exchange for expensive gifts and/or money”. Since both definitions are very similar to each other, can it be that being a sugar baby is the same or very close to prostitution?

My acquaintance Ambrosia admitted to me last week that she had a sugar daddy. She met “Money Bags” at a club opening in Frankfurt. She caught his eye as soon as she walked in. She was there with her best friend, and he sent over a bottle of Champagne to them. He came over to say hello, and she was mesmerized by his generous gesture. He was 22 years older than her, but she didn’t mind. He was not the usual type of man that she likes, but his charm and power attracted her. She found his bossiness and arrogance very sexy. She called me the next day, and I told her that something seemed odd about his description. She ignored my warning, and started dating him. He took her on expensive holidays, bought her designer clothing, jewelry and more extravagant “things”. Money Bags liked to show Ambrosia off to his friends, as if she was expensive real estate that he purchased, renovated, and would sell quite quickly to the next buyer. A few months later, she told him that she was falling in love with him. His answer made her heart almost stop cold. He said, “Darling, what are you talking about? You know that we have an unspoken agreement that you entertain me, and in return I show you the good life. I am not looking for love or a third wife. I want fun and sex!” After this he dropped her very quickly and found an even younger sugar baby. Disgusting. Ambrosia felt cheap and used. She wanted to crawl into a dark deep hole and never come out. She told me that this scarred her for life, and she feels damaged. Even more so, this killed a part of her soul. She is not able to have a normal relationship after this horrific experience.

Ambrosia is not the only one. There is a rising trend of women looking for sugar daddies to finance their life – and this is all happening online now! Dating websites like “Seeking Millionaire”, “Seeking Arrangement” and “Carrot Dating” are making it easy for women to sell themselves on the market. Men bribe women with money, presents, shopping, trips and even plastic surgery to go on dates with them! What’s even more repulsive are the tips on WikiHow given to women to find a sugar daddy: post sensual photos of yourself, go to places where rich men hang out and sell yourself like a piece of flesh to them, and if you’re really good, you can negotiate a monthly flat fee of a few thousand Euros for your personal needs. This sounds dangerously close to prostitution and escorting. Ladies please be careful, it is not worth it. Your heart, body and soul will be stolen from you, chewed up like dry aged meat, and spit back out for the dogs to devour. This will not bring you happiness, but rather make you depressed as hell! Ambrosia told me that she was obligated to do and go where Money Bags wanted to, and have sex whenever he wanted to. He said the one that pays also commands. In my understanding, this is not the definition of freedom, but rather the meaning of slavery. And looking the other way around, don’t these sugar daddies realize that it is their wealth that attracts the females? I can’t imagine it being a good feeling to know that the women greedily perceive them as a walking ATM machine! This seems like a cold, lonely and rather embarrassing existence.

Ambrosia told me to be honest with my readers. She said that the lifestyle was very appealing to her. The glamour, money, and presents were very alluring. She enjoyed having everything given to her. But it was not really “given”; she had to pay with her body, soul and pride. After he carelessly dumped her, she got a job that pays monthly what he would spend on her in one day. The difference is that this is her own honestly earned money. She values each euro that she earns nowadays. She sees how hard this money is to be made, but nevertheless she loves it, because this signifies freedom to her. She can do whatever she wants with her salary, and is her own boss now. From my experience, saving your own money every month, and eventually spoiling yourself with a beautiful bag, nice jewelry or shoes, is the best damn feeling in the world! I promise that you will adore this bag or shoes forever, because you bought it with your own hard earned money, and didn’t have to humiliate yourself with some older dude for a piece of leather.

To be honest, I think it would feel better to wear Zara and be free, than Gucci and feel like you owe him a piece of you. This is very degrading! Freedom is very precious – and loosing it for crappy designer stuff is a very high price to pay. Dignity and pride are such precious possessions – do not give them away! I also wonder if the people in these “arrangements” ever think of true love. Do they miss it? Do they even need it? Could it be that their greed for money and sex substitutes their need for real love? I do not know what goes on in the people’s heads that agree to such arrangements, but what I do know is that almost everyone wishes for true love, and that’s one thing that money can’t buy – and this can never be replaced by a girl hanging cheaply on a man’s arm and dreaming of true love… with his wallet.

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