respect

Get into a relationship with: YOURSELF!
Get into a relationship with: YOURSELF! 1200 800 Galia Brener

It’s 9am on a Saturday morning, and your grandmother just called because she wants you to help her pick out that “ever-so-trendy-grandma-purple-hair-dye”. Two hours later your best friend calls because her boyfriend cheated on her with his childhood friend George. You meet her in the city for emergency cheesecake and sparkling wine. Five hours later you leave her happily drunk at home and finally have the chance to pick up your dry cleaning. Guess what, the store is closed already. You rush home to change because in an hour you have a date with a man you have been looking forward to see for days now. You put your favorite outfit on, hoping that this guy will be a good one. You hear the doorbell ring. After an hour into the date, you notice how much he is in love with himself and your excitement disappears. You make up an excuse that you have to finish helping the technicians at NASA early the next morning and you run out of there. You finally arrive at home and drop into bed. What a tiring day after such a stressful week!

The next morning your mother calls. Then your brother calls and asks to pick him up because his car broke down, yet again! Your landlord calls and says there will be no hot water for half a day. Your toaster burns the last slice of bread you have. You remember that you didn’t finish that last part of your presentation for your meeting on Monday. You think it will take an hour to finish, but 4 hours later, it’s evening again. You are left with 3 hours on a Sunday evening before the stress week starts again.

STOP. Reprogram yourself.

One does not live forever. More than a third of the day is spent working. The remaining part is spent sleeping, eating, making love, going out, doing stuff for/with people that you do not always want to do. So how much time is there leftover for YOU? You grew up hearing that you must not be selfish. Sure, but there is a time when you have to say stop. It starts with learning to say “No”. In the beginning it won’t be easy. People will get angry with you. But you must think of yourself. You need to make time for yourself and do the things that relax and make you happy. Your “real” friends and family will understand this.

Do not spend all of your time and energy on your partner. Do not depend on him/her to make you happy. This has to come from within yourself. Many women rely on their partner to fill a void that has been there for a long time. You must work on yourself so that this happiness comes from within. Your partner is a bonus in your life and not the meaning of your life. Get rid of those expectations that as soon as you have a boyfriend, you will be happier and more satisfied. If not met, expectation can leave you hurt and devastated. Yes, having a partner will bring new excitement into your life, but never make the mistake to rely solely on your partner to make you happy. Your partner is not Mother Theresa, and it’s not his job to turn your life into a fairytale. However, if you really want to, you can do this for yourself.

Get a hobby. You enjoy eating? Take a cooking course. You like art? Try painting. You like words and can get lost in them? Then take a pen and write something down. Make a date with yourself to do something that you love, which brings peace and happiness to your heart and soul. You like to stay fit? Try Kung Fu lessons. You like fashion? Take a Sunday design course. You want to upgrade your education? Take a weekend or evening course. Do what makes you happy. Be selfish! It’s your life, and you have only one to enjoy now! If you do not know which hobby to do, then try testing many things. A few hours here and there, and eventually you will find something that you like.

Eating makes me happy. I take the time out everyday to enjoy a lovely meal and not feel guilty about it. Of course we all want to look and feel great in our skin, but please my dears, do not deprive yourself. Know your limits and enjoy yourself within these limits. Sit and read a book. Make a beauty Sunday with a relaxing bath or hot shower, facial mask and cucumbers on your eyes. Whatever you do, just take the time out for yourself and take care of yourself. Especially us women, we tend to nurture everyone else, and often forget ourselves in the process. 

Next time you pass that store, go in and buy those shoes you have been looking at for weeks. What the hell do you work so hard and suffer for? You deserve it. Saving is important as well, but sometimes buying a new thing works wonders to heal the soul. Even if it’s small and not expensive, you feel that you treat yourself and it’s a good feeling.

Girls at the end of the day, who will take care of you if not you?! It’s great having a good man, family and friends around, but at the end, its you with yourself. Build up this relationship with yourself and make it strong. It’s time to start loving yourself. 

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Photoshoot location: Steigenberger Frankfurter Hof

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No more cruelty! Bring the love back.
No more cruelty! Bring the love back. 1200 800 Galia Brener

You are sitting in a cozy café with the girls, and yet again, another story is told about how some asshole hurt your friend in a disgusting way. Or perhaps you are fixing an old timer with your pals, and surprise, a story comes up about how some bitch tried to use him for all that he’s got! Is it just my impression, or has the world gone completely insane? It seems like it’s getting worse and worse. Since when was love banished by mankind and replaced with cruelty?

The classic sad example is of the toxic “Forever-Bachelor” (plenty of them in our beautiful Frankfurt – we all know them) who always finds the next girl to display themselves with at parties and events. They have fun with the girl, and then trade her in for another version, showing off to their sleazy buddies that they managed to stay bachelors for their entire like. They will not allow any woman to come into their life, control them, and steal their precious freedom away. Wake-up call: most of them will end up alone. There will not be anyone to give them a Paracetamol when they have a fever, bring them love, joy, take care of them and share the precious moments in their life. Wow, that sounds like an “amazing” life. Is that what you really want? Eventually you toxic bachelors will also get old, and then the girls won’t be looking at you anymore. Tough luck buddy, what you give is what you get.

Ladies, we are also getting older. I would suggest you to fall in love with a proper “good guy” who offers you his heart on a silver platter, instead of chasing these macho narcissistic morons. We did it in our teens, but now it’s time to switch on the brain and have a man who will be a good husband and father. Sure James Bond & Co. are handsome and rich, but what will he give you? Days and nights of tears because you can’t ever get to his heart? I am sure that many of you have that good guy who likes you so much, but he is just “too nice” for you… right? Well take a second look, because those are the guys that will make your life beautiful and wonderful.

What about all of those that complain about having so much to do and so little time? So many people are running around, working like zombies, slaves to their careers, taking things for granted, and not being satisfied with what they have. More, more and more. Greed. They need to be more efficient and effective at work to earn more money. Wake up call #2: Stop. Look around and realize how bloody lucky you are to be healthy and alive. Be thankful and stop complaining. Hug the ones you love. Reduce your stress. For time goes by quickly, and soon you will realize that you didn’t put time aside to simply “be” and enjoy the moments with yourself and the ones you love. Taking money to the grave won’t bring much. Sure, it will bring tons of happiness to the friendly neighborhood grave robbers, but that’s pretty much it. Slow down people. Think your priorities through, then decide how and what exactly to use your time “efficiently” for.

STOP. Relax and sit down. Forget for a moment about “important” life goals: being successful, rich, important, famous, more beautiful, having the best body, being skinny, looking young, being popular and adored by many, and and and…my head hurts from just thinking about that damn superficial crap we all worry about having, collecting, being and owning. And yes, I mean “ALL” of us. Every single one of us has some goal/idea/wish we strive to achieve, which we think is crucial to our existence – but is it really that important? Simple test of that fact: when you get something new, you enjoy it for some time, but after a short while, the magical appeal disappears, because you have seen something new that you must have! Well guess what? There will always be something or someone “new”… this gruesome circle never stops.

I don’t want to sound like a hippie in a democratic time, but whether you like it or not, karma is a very real concept, and if you live wrong, it will come and bite you in the ass. I have seen it happen positively and negatively with myself, and the ones that I love. What you do and how you live is what you will get back. Be good, and you will get goodness. In a strange but sad way, we all have some cruelty within us, therefore let us learn how to treat each other and ourselves with respect and dignity. No more cruelty!

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Photos by: Polina Brener

Location: Steigenberger Frankfurter Hof

My outfit – Dress: Pepe Jeans, Shoes: Jimmy Choo, Bag: Peter Kaiser

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Do you deserve true love?
Do you deserve true love? 1080 530 Galia Brener

We live in a time surrounded by high-tech gadgets and artificial intelligence, yet the one thing that still confuses mankind is the concept of “true love”. The big problem is that people tend to blame each other, but do they look within themselves to figure out what their own flaws are? No wonder the aliens haven’t arrived yet. The silly humans can’t deal with their own crap, let alone ET.

So now is the moment of truth…

Do you have the guts to admit to any of the questions below?

Do you always like to be right and win an argument? Do you always want to be in control? Is your opinion always the right one, because you think you know better? Do you let your emotions control you and create dramas? Do you make a big deal out of small things? Do you like to argue? Is it hard for you to compromise? Do you feel that people don’t understand you? Are you holding onto disappointment, pain or an ex from the past? Do you have fear of rejection? Do you lose your temper often? Do you get angry fast? Are you hard to get along with? Do you take people for granted? Do you get offended or hurt easily by what people say? Are you too sensitive or not sensitive enough? Are you greedy? Are you selfish and egoistic? Do you use people? Are you a cheater? Do you lie to get your way? Do you play with people’s feelings? Do you speak bad about and hurt others? Do you only take and not give back? Do you overanalyze? Are you a pessimist? Are you jealous? The list goes on and on.

At least 4 of the above questions used to affect me, until one day I decided to be brutally honest with myself and stop this torture. My own foolish behavior was hurting me. I decided to work on myself to become a better person, and give true love a chance to find me and enrich my life.

No one is born perfect, but we must work on ourselves in order to deserve true love.

Life is about learning and growing. I call it self-evolution.

1. Learn from your mistakes: Look back at all your relationships and figure out the pattern. Where have you been wrong? What could you have done better? Perhaps you have chosen the wrong partners? Don’t always date the same “types” – try meeting different kind of people. Be honest with yourself and see what you did wrong in the past. Work on yourself and evolve. Do not repeat your mistakes. If you were or still are an asshole, work on yourself to change and become a better person. It’s never ever too late to become a good human being!

2. Open up your heart to love again: I know this is one of the hardest things to do, especially if you have been hurt in the past! This takes a lot of strength and courage. Many people tend to become cynical and bitter after they have been hurt. However, only the strong can get up, dust themselves off and have the courage to open up to love again. Fact is: if you wont open up anymore, you will never have a chance to meet your true love. We have all been hurt, but would you rather be safe and stay alone, or take a leap of faith and meet someone wonderful?

3. Surround yourself with positive people that are seeking out the good in life: We all have those friends that love to complain about how bad their life is, or how awful men are. Please stay away from such negative people and their dramas! These “friends” influence a negative thinking pattern that you are a victim to bad men/women that will only want to hurt you. Instead, surround yourself with happy, strong, positive and life-loving people. They might even have a good friend to set you up with. Implant your mind with positive thinking patterns!

4. No desperation: Being  desperate is the key to failure, hurt and pain. Even if you have been single for years, do not date someone that is bad to you, just for the sake of being in a relationship! Be honest with yourself – is s/he good for you? I always say, better single and happy, than with a partner that makes you feel miserable!

Communicate your needs, thoughts and feelings. S/he is not a psychic. If something is bothering you, say it. Even if you think it’s embarrassing, say it. Do not be afraid to loose him/her. If it’s true love, you will not lose them. You will only gain their respect by being able to talk about and sharing your thoughts, opinions and problems.

The trick to finding true love is by first working on yourself and making sure that you truly deserve it. It’s always easy to point fingers at others, but look at yourself first! Believe me, I have gone through this self-evolution process as well. Once you have the guts to face the truth and work on your flaws to become a better person, true love will find you! Good luck.

 

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Best Friend or Enemy?
Best Friend or Enemy? 1200 400 Galia Brener

Be careful whom you let into your life, because some women are cruel, egoistic, conniving and have an ice block where the heart is meant to be – and they will stop at nothing to get what they want. They are like a vampiric hurricane that storms into your life, sucks out your energy, destroys the love you have with your man, copies your identity and style, kills your good friendships and contacts, damages your career, ruins your life and “innocently” walks away after. Can an evil friend get away with such brutal behavior, or will Lady Karma eventually catch her by the hair and make her wish that she was never born?

 

This brings me back to a very unfortunate situation that my friend Ambrosia went through last year. She had a good friend whom she has known for many years – let’s call her “GreyMouse”. These two did everything together and were the classical definition of best friends. One day, Ambrosia met a really wonderful guy. They fell in love quickly, and started a warm, passionate and intense relationship. They had some occasional fights, but the love was strong. GreyMouse started acting strange towards Ambrosia. She felt the strong jealousy coming from her and GreyMouse was saying and doing things that hurt her. However, Ambrosia has a good heart and let a few things go, keeping in mind that GreyMouse was supposedly her “best friend.”

 

One day the bomb was dropped! After a year and a half of being together with her man, Ambrosia was trying to keep the relationship strong because they had some fights and problems along the way. They were at a very sensitive point, where a drama could destroy their bond. That’s exactly what happened. One evening they went out for dinner in a large group. GreyMouse sat beside Ambrosia’s boyfriend, and she was flirting with him while some funny stories were told. She wrapped her hands around his biceps saying how strong he was, and even poked her finger inside of his shirt, joking about his muscular hairy chest. Ambrosia hated it, but let it go, knowing that she was her good friend. Later on she saw GreyMouse talking to her guy outside, and wondered what the secrecy was all about. As she approached them, she heard GreyMouse saying, “…but you have to know something about Ambro, she likes to argue, have fights and needs drama in her life! She lives on it.” Ambrosia stopped mid-step and felt like the Earth was removed from her feet. What a vicious betrayal! After that sentence, her guy looked at her with different eyes.

 

They broke up a month after this scenario, and in their last fight, he said, “GreyMouse was right! You just love to argue and need this drama in your life! I don’t want this anymore.” That hit her like a block of cement on the face! GreyMouse implanted a “thought” in his head that night and he subconsciously accepted it as a “fact”. His mind registered: “If her best friend says this about her, then it must be true, because she knows her better than I do, so I will believe it.” Then it was over.

 

Ambrosia was destroyed for many months after that. She took the breakup very hard and was not able to move past it for a long while. Her heart was shattered into a million pieces! Why the hell did her friend say this awful crap about her to her boyfriend? What was the need to betray her in such a cruel way? But such evil actions never go unpunished. Karma will always show up and do her work properly. She is a lady on a mission and she misses nothing and no one! Sometimes it takes a week, sometimes it takes years, but Karma’s work always gets done! Evil also has a way of functioning like a boomerang – and it will strike back the person that released it in the first place. Months later, Ambrosia heard that GreyMouse had some misfortunes in her life.

 

Ladies, please choose carefully who you allow to enter your lives. Not everyone is genuinely happy for you! – Especially not those evil women pretending to be your good friends. Therefore, share as less as possible about your life and relationship details. The less personal information you expose to such snakes, the less jealousy and destruction will occur. Unless it’s a super trusted old friend, otherwise keep your business to yourself! Open up your eyes and pay attention to the small signs and things these people say and do. If you feel that something is not right, it usually isn’t. If you see there is too much jealousy and negativity, the best method is to remove them from you life immediately. Hatred and jealousy should not have a place in your life, and you must not let such people close to you, otherwise you will regret it. Like my Mama always says, “Who needs enemies if one has such evil friends?” Remove poisonous “friends” out of your life – the sooner, the better!

 

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How to “be” on the 1st date
How to “be” on the 1st date 1200 400 Galia Brener

You are standing in front of your closet full of clothes, and of course find nothing to wear. You have a date in 30 minutes! You tried everything on already, and nothing seems to fit right. The little black dress is suddenly too “little”, your favorite skinny jeans are not giving you the long-leg-effect anymore. What is going on? You are nervous because of your hopes and expectations. Let your hair down and relax. Mystery-Man didn’t deserve your worries just yet!

 

I noticed that my best dates were when I didn’t care too much to impress the guy and was just super relaxed. My horror dates were when I was really nervous and tried to appear perfect for the guy. Another mistake I made in the past was to agree with opinions my date had, even though I did not share the same point of view as him. I thought that would make me lovelier, and it would seem that we have more things in common. Wrong. This would eventually catch up with us and fights would occur. Ladies, please voice your opinions, especially if you really like the guy. Don’t be afraid that he thinks you are stupid or silly because of what you say. Most men actually enjoy an intellectual challenge. So let him fight for it girls!

 

Order whatever you feel like eating. Do not worry that you must look cute in front of him by ordering something small that you can eat in single tiny bites. Who cares?! Order a huge pizza if you feel like it. Another funny thing I noticed, the bigger and messier meal you order, the cuter it looks to the guy. Men like women that are not afraid of eating a huge burger or bloody steak. It makes you look real and nonchalant in a positive way. I call this soul food. Eating what makes you happy to satisfy your soul. Everything’s good in good measures – keep a good balance in life.

 

Don’t drink too much alcohol. Getting drunk on a date can cloud your judgment and make you do things you can later regret. I don’t want to sound old-fashioned, but its better if you wait a bit before you have sex with him for the first time. Unless you are just looking for a fun sexy time, that’s ok. What works best for me is to get to know the guy, spend some time with him and let the chemistry and tension rise. Taking your time before having sex will show you if this man wants you for a long-term relationship or just some fun in bed. Men are hunters, so let them hunt and don’t make it too easy for him.

 

Ladies, use your most charming and erotic weapon… your smile! There is nothing more enchanting than an honest, warm and sincere smile. It always works like a charm! During a conversation: look directly into his eyes, give him a seductive smile, drop your gaze down for a second, then look back up at him, and tilt your head to the side. This move kills them!

 

Please do not mention how cool and fabulous you are. Do not show off about all of your achievements on the first date. Avoid the feeling that you must impress him or else he wont like you. If you are an amazing person, then this will be evident in the first hour of the conversation so don’t worry! Let him sweat a bit by trying to impress you. Men like a healthy challenge and want to know that they have the best woman of all – so let him work at charming you into being by his side.

 

Try to keep a relaxed and positive atmosphere. Life is not always a walk in the park, but he doesn’t have to hear about all of your illnesses, debts and tragedies directly on the first date! If you will get closer, then you can open up your heart to him in the future. At the beginning, keep it light and pleasant. Complications are a huge turn off to both men and women. Everyone has their own baggage, so they don’t want to adopt an even heavier load on the first date. The other way around, avoid being an emotional garbage can for those troubled-lost-souls. The broken ones are extremely hard to fix, so unless you want a life-long project instead of being happy, then go for it.

 

If he bores your panties to death, and you need to escape, talk about your ex boyfriend, repeatedly check your mobile phone, write text messages while he is talking to you, and profusely yawn in your seat while slouching. This should do the trick. If you like him, please try to refrain from the above – especially mentioning how large your ex’s, um, water gun was. But to be quite honest, it doesn’t really matter what you do or not do on a date, because if its meant to be, it will be… even if you squeezed the ketchup from the bottle all over his face instead of on your burger! ;-)

 

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Learn how to say “NO”
Learn how to say “NO” 1200 400 Galia Brener

It’s 9am on a Saturday morning, and your grandmother just called because she wants you to help her pick out that “ever-so-trendy-grandma-purple-hair-dye”. Two hours later your best friend calls because her boyfriend cheated on her with his childhood friend George. You meet her in the city for emergency cheesecake and sparkling wine. Five hours later you leave her happily drunk at home and finally have the chance to pick up your dry cleaning. But of course, the store is closed already. You rush home to change because in an hour you have a date with a man you have been looking forward to see for days now. You put your favorite outfit on, hoping that this guy will be a good one. You hear the doorbell ring. After an hour into the date, you notice how much he is in love with himself and your excitement disappears. You make up an excuse that you have to finish helping the technicians at NASA early the next morning, and you run out of there. You finally arrive at home and drop into bed. What a tiring day after such a stressful week!

 

The next morning your mother calls. Then your brother calls and asks to pick him up because his car broke down, again! Your landlord calls, no hot water for half a day! Your toaster burns the last slice of bread you have. You remember that you didn’t finish a part of your presentation for your meeting on Monday. You think it will take an hour to finish, and 5 hours later, it’s evening again. Where did “your” weekend go? You are left with 2 hours on a Sunday evening before the stress week starts again. STOP. It’s time to regain your control and make “Me-Time”.

 

One does not live forever. More than a third of the day is spent working. The remaining part is spent sleeping, eating, making love, going out or doing stuff for/with people that you do not always want to do. So how much time is there leftover for you? You grew up hearing that you must help others and not be selfish. Help when you can, but there is a time when you have to say “No” to the things that you don’t really want to do. In the beginning people might get angry with you. However, you need to make time for yourself, and do the things that relax and make you happy. Your “real” friends and family will understand and even respect you for that.

 

Do not spend all of your time and energy on your partner. Do not depend on him/her for true happiness. This has to come from within yourself. Your partner is a bonus in your life, and not the meaning of your life. Get rid of those expectations that as soon as you have a new love, you will be happier and more satisfied. If not met, expectation can hurt and devastate you. Sure, having a partner will bring new excitement into your life, but never make the mistake to rely solely on your partner to make you happy. Your partner is not Mother Theresa, and it’s not their job to turn your life into a fairytale. However, if you really want to, you can do this for yourself.

 

Get a hobby. You enjoy eating? Take a cooking course. You like art? Try painting. You like words and can get lost in them? Then take a pen and write something down. Make a date with yourself to do something that you love, which brings peace and happiness to your heart and soul. You like to stay fit? Go to the gym or try yoga. I love it. It makes me stronger, more confident and happier. You like fashion? Take a Sunday design course. You want to upgrade your education? Take a weekend or evening course. Do what makes you happy. Be selfish! It’s your life, and you have only this one to enjoy now! Whatever you do, take the time out for yourself and take care of yourself. Especially us women, we tend to nurture everyone else and often forget ourselves in the process.

 

In my opinion, the most important relationship that you have to work on and make strong is the one with yourself. Be strong, loving and caring towards yourself. Don’t be afraid to say no to others when you don’t want something. Every minute that you spend doing something against your will, is a minute of your life that is wasted and gone. It’s an unbelievable feeling of liberation to be able to say “NO”. In my experience, it also contributed to making me stronger and self-assured. Deep inside we know exactly what we want and don’t want, so be true to yourself and express that in a nice but firm way. Try it out and have fun saying: NO! – The reactions are funny.

 

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Photo by: Antonio Photographer. Tbilisi, Georgia

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Should you try to change your partner?
Should you try to change your partner? 1200 640 Galia Brener

I’m a firm believer that very few people can truly change their character. The less minor things such as habits, ways of doings things, style, education, hobbies, interests, etc. can be modified and learned. But can one really change their true nature? My father says that a snake sheds its skin but never changes its character. I take this great analogy, apply it to relationships and ask this important question: Can you, or should you even try to change your partner?

 

Ambition. This is a strong word that has followed me my entire life. There were times when it was closer to me, and times in between when it was hiding, but ambition was always around. It allowed me to stay motivated and strive for success in times where there was no white light at the end of the tunnel. In my opinion, ambition cannot be taught. Ambition must be felt by the people themselves – as a hot burning desire to achieve, learn, create, make, earn and complete. If your partner lacks ambition and has no desire to move forward, it shall be very hard for you to motivate them to do so. Not only will they slowly start to hate you for it, but it will suck all of your energy and happiness in the process as well. We must realize that not everyone wants a big career, has a goal or dream to follow, or has a purpose in life, which they want to achieve. Some go with the flow and see where they end up, without any plans or structure in their lives. If you choose such a partner, this should be apparent to you from the beginning, and such extreme laissez faire attitudes can rarely be changed. I like to say: a chicken cannot fly. It has small wings, but it cannot take off from the ground and reach a high altitude. Don’t push a chicken to become a soaring eagle, because it simple cannot! The chicken can learn the “theory” of flying, but in reality, they will not master the “practice” of flying. Some are born chickens, and some are born eagles. And it’s ok like that.

 

Self-confidence. This is a tricky one. I myself had a battle with this when I was younger. This is not something that comes easily to everyone right away. Sometimes it takes years for it to build up to a healthy level. You can support and compliment your partner a hundred times, but if they don’t feel inside how wonderful they are, then it will be hard to get through to them. This is really a self-battle, so it will be hard for you to change them to see themselves differently.

 

Responsibility. This is something that is obtained intuitively and from the family at a younger age. If you start dating the person and you see they are careless and irresponsible, then chances are that it will not change – especially after their late 20s. This is also an important point if you want to get married and have kids! It’s hard to do that with a person that is irresponsible for themselves and others. Don’t be in denial, accept it as a fact and decide if it’s good for you to have them in your life or not.

 

Cheaters very rarely change. As well as liars, egotists, users, fakes, players, moody people, narcissists or the ones that that simply don’t want to work or study. However, bad habits that can be changed are things like lack of discipline and punctuality, unhealthy lifestyle, not being a good listener, spending money one doesn’t have, addiction, showing off, aggression, etc. The best you can do is to give advice and help, and try to guide your partner in the right way. However, if they are not open to self-improvement, then there is nothing that you can do.

 

The hard part is that we sometimes see so clearly what our partner doesn’t. We want to help them. We want to advise and give them support and guidance. However this not always wanted, accepted or needed by them! I myself am one of these people that learn the hard way, after something bad or extreme happens. After I fell down a few times in my life, I finally understood what needed to be changed. There are many like me that need to hit the bottom to be able to jump back up – and even though you see this with red warning lights, the other person may not! That can be horribly tough on the relationship.

 

Always remember that perhaps your guidance and your way of life do not fit theirs. What’s good for you is not necessarily what’s good and beneficiary for them. At the end of the day, we met our partners and fell in love with them how they are. Why is there always the bloody need to change someone and shape them into your own image of perfection? Yes you care for them. Yes you want to help them. My suggestion is after you try to help, and nothing changes, you either accept them as they are, try to compromise with your demands on them, or let them go and find someone who fits you better. But if you keep on pushing and pushing them, then nothing good will come of it, except much emotional and psychological stress to you both.

 

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