(A note to my German readers: in English slang, the word “Bitch” means “Zicke” – but not only in a negative way. She’s a strong, independent woman that knows what she wants in life!)
You pass a couple on the street… and there we go again! A mousy or bitchy girl with a fantastic guy! You wonder what the hell is she doing right that you are doing wrong? You think to yourself, why don’t men like the good, honest, kind and sweet girls? Why do the bitches get all the good guys? If you ask men, most will say that they do not like bitches, and want the good girls. If this is really true, then why do most of the good girls end up with a broken heart?
This reminds me of a story Jilli told me about a very successful, well-known Frankfurt businessman. They dated for about a month. When they met, she wasn’t sure if he was right for her. She decided to get to know him better. At the beginning, he was crazy about her. He was calling and writing her all the time, sending her flowers, and romancing her. As the weeks passed, she was slowly starting to fall for him. The crazy thing was that as soon as she started showing him more affection, it pushed him away and he became colder. One evening, he was supposed to pick her up for a dinner date at 8pm. It was already 9pm. 3 hours later she still didn’t hear anything form him! She was worried sick that something happened. She called him a few times but his phone was turned off. At 1am he called saying that he had to stay longer at work. The sad thing is that Jilli’s friend saw him that same evening sitting intimately at a bar with a girl, who happens to be notorious in Frankfurt for her bitchiness and superficiality!
So what does this mean? Must you become a bitch from hell to get a man? No. Stay lovely and fabulous as you are. I am not one for playing games, but there are a few things you can do to bring out your “sweet-bitchy-strong” feminine side. Most importantly, know your own self-worth. If you treat yourself with dignity, pride and respect, so will he. Guaranteed! Good men notice such things and like when women respect and take care of themselves.
Feel free to be a tiny bit bitchy and tell him when you do not agree with his opinion. Show your intellectual side. However, don’t disagree on purpose just to contradict him, that’s simply childish. Disagree when you think you can show him another good point of view. He will welcome the challenge and find it refreshing that you stand up for what you believe in. Stimulate his mind! Some make the mistake of agreeing with everything the guy says in order to seem easy-going and agreeable. No. Hell no. You have your own mind and opinion to realize when he is wrong. Compromising is good, but don’t allow him to break you. You have no time to waste with Dorian Gray who is in love with himself; and himself only!
Girls, I know we have hormones that run wild at times. But please, do not overreact too quickly and lose your temper. Do not create unnecessary dramas or scenes. In a disagreement, stay calm, cool and collected. Men shut down as soon as they hear the first scream. You are a lady. You don’t raise your voice or freak out. You are a strong woman above this. Try this method of calm discussion and see how impressed he will be. You will get your point across better this way.
Don’t act desperately, even if you’re crazy about him. Don’t call him a hundred times. Don’t be afraid to lose him. Fear is our big enemy! Let him try to reach you, and make the effort to romance you. Some women make it too easy for a guy, so he doesn’t even have the chance to pursue them. Let him be a gentleman and do what he must to charm you. If he likes you, believe me, he will try to do everything to impress you. If not, he is simply not that into you, or he is a coward, which is even worse! Then you definitely do not need him! Don’t overflow him with too much love and attention too fast. This will suffocate you both. And worse of all, you will fall in love, and he might not turn out to be the nice, warm, decent man you thought he is. Take it slower in the beginning and give yourself time to get to know him.
A new hair cut, high heels to make the legs look longer, make up, etc. are a bonus, but not the main things that make you strong and confident. This comes from who you are as a person and a woman! You should feel fabulous without makeup, in old leggings and sneakers (the ones without that grotesque heel please!). Make an experiment: on your next date with him, go with a ponytail, your glasses on, a pair of old jeans and a dab of natural lip gloss. If he doesn’t go crazy for you in this form, he doesn’t deserve you. Never tolerate disrespect! Most likely, he will like you like this even better than made up. Silly men! They prefer sneakers to beautiful Louboutins? Astoundingly yes, they do. How mundane, but that’s why we love those strange creatures so much.
Last but not least, don’t be fully dependent on him. No matter how close the two of you get, have your own life and be your own person. Do your job properly, have your hobbies and meet your girls regularly. Your true friends have always been there, and will always be there for you. Do not forget them, even thought you want to spend every spare minute with your sweetheart. I made this mistake once, and noticed how it backfired. Keep your life as a confident strong woman. Don’t drop everything just for him. Men are sometimes like animals (sorry guys). They love a healthy challenge, and go crazy after something that they cannot completely possess. I am not saying to play hard to get, but please do keep your own life, identity, and be a tiny bit more mysterious. Show him your morals, values and depth. Show him that you have a lovely life full of happiness and wonderful things. This way, he will feel proud and privileged to be a part of it!