I woke up with a penis today … (Part I)

On my way home on Friday night, I bumped into a curious old little man on the street. He looked at me, and his eyes were bright yellow. I jumped back, shocked by this weird vision. He smiled strangely at me and said, “Thy inquisitiveness has been noticed. Magic upon magic. Soul upon soul, from body to body, in your control. You have 2 and 4 hours.” And then he quickly walked away, almost as if he was floating. Usually in Frankfurt you would think that it’s one of the lovey local crack dealers pitching you a sales campaign. However, this man was different, almost as if he came from another dimension. I laughed about it, and went home to sleep.

I woke up on Saturday, but something felt different. I got up, and felt that I was taller! The floor looked further away than usual. My feet were huge, and hairy! I ran to the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror, but on the way, I felt something big dangling between my legs. I took off my pants, looked down and was in total shock! Could I have still been sleeping? I pinched myself, and started screaming. Damn! I had so much strength in my hands, incredible! I got to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. In the reflection I saw a very handsome man. I had dark long hair, and deep blue eyes, with tiny sunshines around the irises. I guessed that I was about 2 meters tall, and 30 years old. My body was strong and muscular. The friend between my legs was quite impressive as well. I immediately had the urge to touch myself, almost like an automatic reaction. I looked into my eyes in the mirror and could not believe it. How could this possibly happen? I couldn’t stop looking at myself. I was drop-dead gorgeous! I was exactly the type of man the female me would fall for!

I went back to bed, almost hitting my head on the doorframe, laughing hysterically. Maybe if I would fall asleep again, and wake up, everything would be normal. Two hours later, I woke up with my right hand on my large hard penis. It was still there. I started rubbing it up and down, and it felt incredible! Instantly I understood why men are so fascinated by their penises! No wonder they touch it constantly! The penis is magical… endless upon endless hours of fun! I rubbed it harder and a bit faster, the sensation was incomparable to anything I have ever felt before. As I felt myself reaching an orgasm, it was like launching a rocket into space… 3, 2, 1 lift off! Wow! That was phenomenal! I did it again right after. This time with my left hand, but it felt strange, so I switched back to the right one. After my hot self-sex session, I was curious to see what it felt like to pee standing up. Bad idea. I couldn’t control the hose that well.

I went to get dressed and surprise surprise! Even my clothing was replaced with male ones! I put on a pair of tight black Boss boxer briefs, and moved my package to the left. Now I knew why men constantly shift their penises and testicles around. Strange, because it felt comfortable only in a certain way and position. The right side felt so unnatural to me. I was a leftie. Again, my hand reached down to my penis, which was growing by the second. It became as hard as metal! I got side tracked again for another hour. Finally I managed to leave my flat without touching my penis anymore.

I was a sexy man on a mission: 1. Walk around the city as a man, and flirt with women 2. Meet an attractive woman to have sex with, to see what it feels like as a man 3. Go to the guys who hurt me badly in the past, and beat the hell out of them!

As I walked down the street, I noticed how many women, and even some men were looking at me. It’s incredible how much attention a handsome man gets! It felt great flirting with beautiful women along the way. Just a little smile from me lit up their faces. Man, it’s so easy to be a guy! I don’t understand why men complain that they have it hard when flirting with women. It’s so simple. Be friendly, respectful, smile and say “Hello”. No need for cheesy pickup lines. I was being so bad. I was flirting with almost every woman that crossed my path. It was great! I felt such a power rush! Slowly I made my way to the bank where my ex boyfriend worked. It was time to show him what pain feels like. I know that violence doesn’t solve problems, but I couldn’t resist experiencing what it felt like being a guy and punching another guy, especially an asshole that hurt me so much! I knew where he ate his lunch. Same place everyday. How exciting. From a distance I saw him coming out of the restaurant. It was show time!

www.facebook.com/yesnomaybegalia

Galia Brener

"Yes, No, Maybe?" is a column about love, sex, relationships and life. Published in Journal Frankfurt. www.journal-frankfurt.de/galia Yes, No, Maybe? is about what makes us human. It's the essence of existence: LOVE. In 2010 I founded my first Start Up: Galia Brener accessories – luxury handbags in the shape of feminine curves. The “G Bag” is shaped like a woman’s most intimate part, with a hidden secret pocket inside! My bags are worn by celebrities such as Paris Hilton, Inga Humpe (lead singer of 2raumwohnung), Jasmin Gerat (actress in the movie Kokowääh), Casandra Steen, and others. I love my bags and always will, but I felt that I needed to continue with my voyage of defining sensuality. I needed more. I wanted a deeper understanding of the meaning of love. What brings people together, and makes them fall in love? The chemistry, the passion, the magic! This holds such a deep fascination for me. Therefore, I decided to take a daring chance, and start writing a weekly column called “Yes, No, Maybe?” in Journal Frankfurt. I get to complain about, criticize and try to fix issues about love, relationships and other such torturous subjects. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I'm angry, sometimes I laugh while writing my column, and therefore, everyone of them is written from my heart and soul. If I manage to help and inspire at least one person, than I have achieved my mission. Dear ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoy reading the column ♥ Hugs, Galia

4 Comments

  1. Pingback: Daniel Beaulieu

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *