Monthly Archives :

December 2013

The Me-Inventory
The Me-Inventory 1354 437 Galia Brener

You’ve had your Christmas fun, and now for the few days before the New Year starts, it’s time to get down to business. What is such an urgent task that cannot wait until next year, you ask? The task is the one and only “Me-Inventory”. It sounds quite simple, but actually it can get deep and dirty, with truths exposed and shocking things revealed. But since we are tough guys and gals, and I’m sure that you can handle it, I will share my secret with you. At the end of each year, I make a thorough inventory of my life for that year – from top to bottom, not overlooking any gruesome details. At the end, I see what I have achieved, learned, and what I can do much better next year. This helps me grow as a woman, as a person, and also helps to increase success. However, you must be completely honest with yourself, or else this won’t work for you. So my lovelies, let’s start!

1. Achievements: Let’s start with the nice stuff! This was a damn long year, for some a horrible one, and for others a positive one. But for many, 2013 was a year for the fighting spirit – the Samurai among us. Think back to all of the great things you achieved this year. This includes a new career, having a loving relationship, building your first house, having a child, getting married, overcoming addictions, or whatever wonderful thing you achieved this year, take some time to honor it. Anyone who achieved anything important in 2013 deserves to celebrate, because this bitch of a year was a difficult astrological one, and hence you deserve double recognition for it. You must praise yourself for your success, and feel proud of what you did. I made it a ritual to buy myself a present at the end of the year to celebrate my achievements. Spoiling yourself once in a while is very important, because it helps to remind you of accomplishments and appreciate your own worth.

2. Screw-ups: let’s be honest, we are no angels. I can think back and list a few mistakes I made this year, and so can you. This is where it gets hard because we don’t usually like to admit our mistakes, especially to ourselves! But since you’re brave, and a new year is starting, push yourself to do it. Think back. Have you hurt someone? Played, cheated, stole, backstabbed, told lies, broke hearts and promises, acted disrespectfully or cruelly? Maybe it is yourself that you hurt with something like a bad habit, or allowing others to treat you badly? Maybe you let something slip away that you regret? Send your ego to hell for a moment, and really open yourself up and remember the mistakes you made. Try to acknowledge the wrongs that you did, and see if there is a chance to set things right again. If you are brave enough, you can even contact the person and ask them for forgiveness – it is your Karma after all. If you have already set things right again, then it is time to forgive yourself, forgive the other person, forgive the situation, and move on.

3. Lessons: 2013 was the year with the most life lessons for me so far. Some of them hit me hard and were not so easy to learn, while the others I embraced quite quickly and open-heartedly. Look back and figure out what were your most important lessons of this year. Life threw you these bones, hoping that you will learn and improve on your mistakes. If these lessons are not learned, they will only enter your life again and again, and torture you until you will finally get it. To be honest, I did not learn a lesson in 2012, and the very same thing happened to me at the very same time in 2013! It was so creepy! You have to realize what life is trying to show you, and make improvements on these things, so that you can grow and move on. Think back, what could you have done better? Take these lessons and use them for your good in 2014, and do things better this time around! And please, do not be angry at your fate – this happened for you to become a better and stronger person.

4. Cleaner: Don’t worry, no killing mafia skills necessary. Look back at the year, and make an inventory of the people in your life. Be honest to yourself: Is there anyone who has to be cleaned out of your life? Do you have so-called “friends” that are dishonest, don’t care about you, or even worse, jealous of you? What about a partner that does not respect, appreciate, and truly love you, or maybe doesn’t want to make a commitment to you? They don’t deserve you, and be assured that Lady Karma will take “good” care of them. Let it go, and get rid of them! Sometimes people come into your life for a reason, and once their mission is fulfilled, it is better to send them along their way before they cause more damage in your life. Try to get rid of all toxic people that do you no good before this year ends. Surround yourself only with goodness – and with people that will respect, love, appreciate, honor, and truly love and care for you – and you for them.

The last days before the year ends are some of the most crucial ones. This special time provides us with a moment to become quieter and look deep within ourselves. It’s a chance to reminisce about the funny, lovely and good things that happened, and allows us to learn from our mistakes. It’s an opportunity to make things right again. It’s a chance to say goodbye to the old, and make space for the wonderful new and exciting things to come. If you feel brave enough, try to do the Me-Inventory. It helps me each year, and offers great reassurance. Besides, the best thing about completing the Me-Inventory is the fact that you have another chance right around the corner: New Year, new start!

No Sex with the Ex
No Sex with the Ex 1354 437 Galia Brener

It’s a cold winter Saturday night, and you have no plans to go out. You decide to order some delicious sushi, and watch your favorite movie on the couch wrapped in a blanket. You look at the warm crunchy tiger rolls, and memories race back to the times when you sat on the couch together with your ex, cuddled in that same blanket, and fed each other those rolls. Your heart automatically skips a beat. You know it didn’t work out, and you’re not even sure if breaking up was a good idea or not, but the longing feeling starts to gnaw at you, followed by a tingling feeling between your legs. Just thinking about him makes you hot. All of a sudden, your phone rings and it’s him! The connection is still there, and he was thinking about you at the same time! He says, “Hello” and you feel yourself melting into the couch. His voice brings you back to the good days. The tingling between your legs is getting stronger. He says he misses you, and wants to come over and see you. You’re longing to see him. Bloody hell, what are you going to do? You want to kiss and feel him again. You want his arms wrapped tightly around you, just one more time. What will you do?

My friend Heather was dating her boyfriend for three years, and one day they decided to split up. She was deeply grieving inside, because she still loved him. It took her a few months to stabilize her emotions, and slowly start feeling better. She was going out with her friends, enjoyed her days at the office, and even met a new guy. However one evening, her ex called and said he missed her, and wanted to see her. She knew it was a bad idea, but she needed his closeness, his touch and his love again. She put on her sexiest outfit, did her makeup and opened up a bottle of prosecco to calm her nerves. The doorbell rang and she let him in. She was so happy to see him. Her body was shaking a bit from the nervousness, and noticing that, he gave her a tight hug. They didn’t let go. They stood in this hugging position for minutes beside the door. Finally they slowly made it to the couch, and started catching up on the last few months. They had so much to tell each other. Heather felt so good to have him beside her again. She wanted to stop time, and have him stay there forever. Of course in this moment she forgot about all of the bad things he did to her. How he took her for granted, said bad words to her, didn’t respect or appreciate her. That dark crap was momentarily forgotten. After a deep conversation and a few glasses of wine, one thing led to another and they started kissing.

He held her face between his hands and pulled her towards him. Those lips. Damn it, how she missed those passionate lips on hers. This second, this minute was all she ever wanted and will ever need. The love and emotions rushed right back into her heart, and the bad stuff was immediately forgotten. His big hands started to explore her body, and his warm palms felt like burning coals on her skin. She was wet, and wanted him inside of her now! Again he had this effect on her. Every single fucking time! She still loved him, but she also hated him. This stupid bastard hurt and destroyed her so much, but she just couldn’t say no. She ripped open the buttons of his jeans, grabbed his big friend and sat on him. She took out all of her anger, sadness and bitterness while riding him, and made sure that he will get a show that he will never forget. She was rotating her hips in circles while sitting on him, and kissed his strong muscular chest. He wrapped him arms around her and forcefully pulled her towards him. She pressed her forehead against his neck. She breathed in the familiar smell, and felt the hot tears run down her face. They fell asleep in each other’s arms, like back in the good days. After they had breakfast, he gave her one of his famous mind-blowing-nipple-hardening kisses. He pulled her tightly to his chest, and she could hear his rotten heart beat. After a few minutes, he left.

When Heather told me this story, the hair on my neck was standing. Why do we do this to ourselves? Heather told me that she was hoping to get him back by allowing him into her life, and using the sex card. Well, let me tell you, the sex card hardly ever works – don’t confuse it for the joker card in a relationship. Just as I predicted, Heather fell back in love with him, and the ex simply used this comfortable situation. He kept on coming over to her place, she always fed him, slept with him, caressed him, gave him attention and passion, and he would leave the next day – his batteries fully charged, and hers rather empty. She talked to him a few weeks after they started the “Sex with the ex”-torment, and asked if he would like to give it another chance. His answer was, “Heather, you know it didn’t work out between us, and we don’t want to continue hurting each other. What we have now is nice, isn’t it?” BAM! Like a slap right in her face! Meaning – I like to have sex with you, but I don’t want to be with you. Who the hell needs this emotional sadomasochism?

Very rarely does sex with the ex brings couples back together. If it does, it is usually a very temporary phenomenon, and someone will end up getting hurt again. I would really suggest you not to sleep with your ex, especially if you still have feelings for him/her. No good will come of this, and you will only get emotionally slaughtered in the process. It’s like a wound that never heals, because you keep on ripping the scab off, and the blood continues to gush out. Let the wound heal. Let your heart heal. Instead of making yourself beautiful for your ex, take the time to go out there and meet someone new. Imagine having a clean fresh start, where everything is new and exciting. Wouldn’t it be great to meet the right one, instead of being sucked back into the quicksand? Actually, sex with the ex is mental masturbation, and I don’t think that sounds so appealing, does it?

Frankfurt, I ❤ You! (Part III)
Frankfurt, I ❤ You! (Part III) 1354 437 Galia Brener

Winter has arrived, and the cold air has swept up the sun and send her on holiday to the other end of the world. However, the disappearance of the sun does not mean that we have to run away as well. Quite the opposite actually, because we can stay right here in our beautiful Frankfurt and have the most fabulous winter ever. This city offers us many romantic hideaways, loud fun places, and warm cozy escapes where you can melt your worries away.

I surprised my boyfriend Tommy, and organizing a romantic weekend in our stunning Mainhattan. This was an exciting chance to see if one can really have a romantic getaway without getting away from the city – and to my surprise – it’s very possible! The T-Man came home and saw his small suitcase packed beside the door. At first the poor guy was very confused, but after I reassured him that no one is moving out, I asked him to dress up warm because we were about to go on a little adventure. The first stop was at the most beautiful Christmas market in the world, of course the one here in Frankfurt. We made our way straight to the cheese fondue stand and let the delicious warm cheese fill our stomachs with pure joy. The next mission: warm alcoholic drinks to jump-start the weekend. The older lady at the stand fell in love with Tommy, and kept topping off our drinks with large shots of rum. There is nothing wrong with prostituting your man for free drinks and front-row center places across the majestic Christmas tree. Of course the market would not be complete without the people beside us bitching about how shabby and lifeless the big tree looked. So like any other proud Frankfurter, I boldly defended the honor of our Christmas, and put those people back in their places. The Feuerzangenbowle-Lady, who happens to be a true Sachsenhausen’er, also fell in love with me for that, and gave us a drink on the house.

Laughing to the point of tears, we decided to leave before getting beaten up. Tommy lifted me up and carried me upside down on his back to the taxi stand. We drove quickly past the flat, picked up our bags and continued on our mission: Romance in FFM. He had no idea where the taxi was racing to, and with a nice illegal sharp turn, we drove into the driveway of the Villa Kennedy. As we walked in, the beauty of the old building took my breath away, and it was like stepping into a beautiful Italian Palazzo in the early 1900’s. I looked around, and felt as if the walls where whispering their romantic stories quietly in my ear. I knew right away that this would be a magical weekend. As we were guided to our suite, I couldn’t help but scream of happiness at the sight of a 1.5 meter real gingerbread cookie house! It was like being in a fairytale. The smell was absolutely phenomenal, and Tommy had to pull me away before I would start biting the roof.

We finally made our way to the huge suite, and started running around in circles, chasing each other through all of the rooms. Finally after the 7th round, we noticed the beautiful arrangement on the table, welcoming us to the Villa Kennedy. It looked like a work of art made of Murano glass, but actually it was beautifully arrayed chocolate and fresh fruit, which were placed there to sweeten up our stay. Next to the fruit, I found a handwritten card from the beautiful Katharina Metternich, welcoming us to the glorious Villa. Now that’s what I call a fabulous woman with style and class!

It was time to get dolled up and take my handsome man for a nice dinner. We went downstairs, and started the evening with proper Bloody Marys and worked our way to Rib Eye steaks with French Fries. I finished all 320 grams of my meat, which was one of the best steaks I have had in a while. The meat was perfectly prepared medium rare, just the way I like it. I must have been a man in my past life, because for me, love definitely goes through the stomach. As we heard the piano from the bar, I looked at my T-Man, then looked around at the heart-warming ambiance of the Gusto restaurant, and felt that the world was at peace on this wintery Saturday evening. On the way back up, we found some hidden stairs that connect the second and third floor, which gives one the perfect hiding place for secret kisses! As we walked into the suite with happily satisfied smiles upon our faces, I took the “Do not disturb” sign – which is the perfect sign for romantic weekends – and hung it on the door.

If the love and effort are there, even the sun comes back for a nice morning kiss. The last part of my surprise was about to take place. I booked us the Romantic Moments massage, which is a treatment for two in the partner room, decorated with rose petals. We were served champagne, chocolate covered strawberries and delicious pralines to go with our relaxing body massage. It was heaven on Earth, or rather heaven in Frankfurt. We left the Villa Kennedy happy, relaxed, and smiling at each other like two naughty teenagers. After coming home from such a romantic weekend, of course all balance had to be restored, and Tommy made me watch the Godfather movies with him. This was a very magical weekend for me, and actually even better than getting away! No far distance to fly or drive, and such fun and relaxation directly inside the city. My love for Frankfurt grows each day, because this city slowly opens up so many of its mysterious to me. There is something about Frankfurt that other cities can only dream of, and that’s authenticity. We can do apple wine. We can do rock. We can do cool. We can do chic… and we can definitely do romance! Frankfurt, you will always have my love.

Who pays the bill?
Who pays the bill? 1354 437 Galia Brener

We live in a time of emancipation, where the women are becoming men, and the helpless men are getting in touch with their feminine side. Great! It’s a real dream come true… not. Since the roles are slowly reversing, and women have begun to grow balls, I sit here and wonder, who pays the bill? I’m still a firm believer in the old fashioned way. I adore the courting, the romance and that vision of a strong, loyal and loving man who you can rely on through thick and thin. I have heard many women say that they can do everything on their own, and don’t need a man to pay for them because they don’t want to owe anyone anything. Maybe it’s time to stop this bitter degradation, and allow men to be men, and women to be women again?

This week I went to the Christmas market in Frankfurt with a good girlfriend of mine. She’s a charming woman, and a great flirt, so I knew it will be a fun evening. The cold winter air, the enormous Christmas tree covered in flickering lights, and the magical carousel made it seem like we were part of a fairytale! We decided to start off the evening with a glass of warm apple wine, to keep up our Frankfurt winter tradition. By the time the drinks were paid and I turned around, my man-magnet friend was already talking to three guys. They were a loud group, but very friendly and funny. Of course the conversation turned to men and women, and then the topic came up, who pays the bill? The handsome one said that the man should pay on the first date. The grouchy cocky one said that the woman should pay, and the crazy loud one said, who cares who pays, as long as they end up in bed! Interesting how men love to gossip about this stuff just as much as woman do.

After screaming around for a bit and showing some mucho admiration, the guys have decided that: the man should pay for the first date, but there should be an effort from the woman to reach into her wallet and offer to chip something in. They even re-enacted a scene for us, as if the bill came and the woman “pretends” to reach for her wallet. I watched them, amused beyond belief. I asked them, “What happens when the bill comes and the woman doesn’t “fake-reach-her-wallet”, but sincerely says thank you instead?” Is it just about the searching-for-the-wallet-move that the men are looking for? But if they genuinely want to treat the lady, why need the fake-wallet-search? After all, a date is a date, or have things changed that much in the lasts years? The Christmas guys had no answer for this.

A male acquaintance of mine, let’s call him Two-F, says that the worst kind of women are the “No-thank-you” ones. He doesn’t mean the ones that always say no, but rather the ones that never say thank you. He once met a woman at a street fest, and they seemed to click, so he invited her to a nice restaurant after the fest. They had a delicious meal, and when he paid, she just shot him a half empty-hearted smile and got up. He found that to be strange because she didn’t even say thank you. She asked if he wants to grab a drink at a bar before going home, and he agreed. They spent two more hours at the bar talking about life, and their adventures. When the bill came, she simply turned around and pretended to look at something beside their table. Two-F paid the bill, and they left the bar. On the way out, the woman looked totally bored, and of course did not bother to thank him for the drinks. Two-F didn’t mind to pay the bill the entire evening, but the smallest gesture of saying “thank you” would have been appreciated. They exchanged numbers and he went home. He never called her again, and after a few months, they bumped into each other at a party. She asked why he never called, and he simply smiled and told her that she’s a spoiled bitch.

So who should actually pay the bloody bill? If a man is interested in the woman that he is meeting, then he should pay for the bill on the first date and see how it goes. Think of it as a small investment. This might after all be the woman of your dreams, and it’s part of the gentleman’s code. Most women rationalize that if the man pays, then he is taking somewhat of a responsibility, and honors her company. To her it also means that he is a generous, established man, and might be ready for something more than a one-time flirt. Besides, it’s a very nice and old-fashioned gesture that is appreciated by the right women. Ladies, I so often hear you complaining that men are becoming weaker and have lost the gentleman’s touch, so here is a perfect chance to let the men be men again! Allow them to treat you to a nice dinner, and show them your appreciation.

Appreciation is the key! Ladies, please lose your balls, and don’t feel patronized if your date offers to pay for you. Accept his kind offer with a warm smile and thank him. It’s that easy! Men want to be kind to us, and make us feel special, but sometimes we don’t allow them this, and take their power away. Then additionally we get frustrated and complain that they don’t treat us well, but how could they if we don’t give them the chance to? This does not mean that the man must always pay, but if he feels that he wants to invite you, allow him to be a gentleman. To show appreciation, be the next one to invite him to a nice dinner. It’s very important to return the gesture and treat him to something nice as well. Life is all about giving and taking. Usually men do not expect a huge gesture of you kissing their feet in return for them paying the bill, but a warm, kind and sincere “thank you” really goes a long way! So gentlemen, bring back proper old-fashioned dating, and treat that special lady to an unforgettable evening, and feel free to pay the bill.

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