Monthly Archives :

September 2013

The Shopping High

The Shopping High 640 250 Galia Brener

It’s Saturday afternoon and you step out for a quick breakfast with your friends. On the way back, you pass a store, and see the most beautiful pair of shoes. You stop and look. After a few seconds, you know that you have to walk away from the window. The shoes are truly beautiful, but can you really buy another pair of shoes… again? You try to fight the feeling because you are saving for something more important, remember? You can’t shop around like a wild woman now. A little voice inside your head makes you walk towards the door of the shop. You shouldn’t go in, but you can’t stop yourself. Inside the store you take the shoe in your hand, and feel the soft black leather. It feels divine. You can’t help yourself but touch it longer, feeling almost like a pervert in a sex store. As if in a dream, you find yourself asking for your size, and try the shoe on. Damn it, it fits perfectly. You look at the price, and get a mini heart attack. You know that it’s wrong to buy them now. They are so expensive, but look so good on you. You must have them! And you must have them immediately! You pay with your card, and leave. At home, you drop the bags on the floor and try on the shoes. They look fabulous! But soon enough the guilt and regret settle in, and you feel awful for it.

What makes us buy those damn things? The shopping high does. I see it like a drug. Both women and men can suffer from this addiction. It’s a “high” – a rush to your head and stomach. You walk around the flat with the shoes on. You lay them beside the bed at night, and look at them when you wake up in the morning. This high feeling is able to uplift the worst mood, and overcome the strongest anger. It temporarily replaces the bad with something good. But how long does this shopping high really last?

Eventually you’ve worn the shoes for a while, and they don’t feel that special anymore. Definitely, not like the first date you had with them, when you took them with you into your warm bed. No. That feeling is gone by now. Eventually you pass another store in the city and see something that you really like. And oops! There goes that feelings again. “You must have it!” It’s a rush, it takes control over you, your serotonin levels explode, and you feel that this is what you need to be happy for this moment. But to be quite honest with you, this is not a good feeling. This is a sickness! It’s not just about shoes, it’s about acquiring things that you “think” will make you happy. However, the feeling is very temporary. Sound familiar?

This comes from the need for immediate gratification – I want it, and I want it now! Why? To feel better. Whether its sadness or lack of self-esteem, the usual reason is to produce happiness, feel good and special about yourself, fill an emptiness, or soothe anger and stress. There is actually a psychiatric name for this condition. Oniomania – a compulsive desire to shop. It sounds funny when you think about it, but it’s really not. My theory is that the ego makes you think that you really need those new jeans to look good, or those shoes to give you the longer legs effect. But in reality, this will not help. The ego will constantly push you for more and more – being an ungrateful and unsatisfied evil being that it is. To truly be happy and free, you must put an end to this shopping madness. Not constantly “wanting” or “needing” new and better things is the true meaning of freedom!

Speaking from personal experience, there is a way to overcome this. I suffered from this in my 20’s. I bought clothing to feel better. The older I became, the less I needed to show myself, and seek my happiness externally. I have a rule now: If I see something I really want, which also happens to be over my budget, I do not buy it right away. I wait a few weeks or longer. If I still really want it after this time period, then I go to the store again. The strange thing is that usually after a few weeks, when I am face-to-face with my evil-temptation-object, I do not have that urgent need to buy anymore. And 98% of the time, I leave the store with my money still on my account, happy that I conquered this overwhelming desire. Another way I changed my shopping habit over the years is “how” I buy. Instead of buying random clothes and accessories throughout the entire year, I save my money for months, and splurge on 1-special-thing that I really like!

But even with the “1-special-thing” rule, do not make it into a habit. The problem is if you get used to spoiling yourself this way, let’s say every month or two, those purchases will not feel special anymore. If it becomes a usual thing, then it’s definitely not a treat anymore, and the “high”, will not be there. Isn’t it nice to be able to look forward to something? This is training. It is a way of being able to be happy with what you already have, and allowing the “bonuses” to be just that – bonuses in life! I’m not saying that you should not spoil yourself once in a while, but try to keep it for special occasions. Don’t allow a piece of material or metal to rule your happiness and joy in life. Drop the credit card, and step away from the evil shoes. You will feel better later on, trust me, I’ve been there.

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Frankfurt, I ❤ You!

Frankfurt, I ❤ You! 640 250 Galia Brener

Paul van Dyk and I at the Infiniti Gate event in Frankfurt last week, during the IAA (The International Motor Show)

Text_Gali+Paul_van_Dyk

Frankfurt, I ❤ You!

Frankfurt, I ❤ You! 1190 2000 Galia Brener

Marcus Schenkenberg and I at the Maserati & Ermenegildo Zegna event in Frankfurt last week, during the IAA (The International Motor Show)

Gali+Marcus_Schenkenberg_LowRes

Frankfurt, I ❤ You!

Frankfurt, I ❤ You! 640 250 Galia Brener

Glamour, fashion, exotic cuisine, movie stars, cameras, famous DJs, top models, and the fastest cars in the world! No, I’m not describing New York City, I’m talking about this thrilling week in Frankfurt! The last few days have been some of the most exciting that I have ever experienced here. This city is not only about banking and Apfelwein; it’s also about life, culture and a magical flair! I must say that September brought a chilly breeze with it, and everything seemed to quiet down a bit, until something loud and electrifying burst into the city. I could hear the roaring engines from miles away. Who is it that enters my city with noise and chaos? He is bold, proud and very well known. He is an International hero for millions of people. “He” is the one and only, our very own IAA – The International Motor Show! To our Prince Charming “IAA”, thank you. Frankfurt loves you, and I can see that you love Frankfurt too.

My exciting week started off last weekend, at the opening of Pret A Diner. My girlfriend and I set out in our flowy silk dresses to enjoy the last warm night in the city. As we arrived, we were greeted by two matte Land Rovers, and a beautiful woman that sent us very high up into the Tree House. The elevator door opened, and we walked into a completely different world. This is a mysterious world existing in the sky, amongst the staggering building of our stunning skyline. A handsome English gentleman with dark long hair showed us the way to the restaurant. The interior is very unique, with many inviting corners to kiss and whisper secrets to each other. Some wine, and delicious exotic Michelin-starred dishes set us in the right mood for a very fun evening. During dinner, I kept hearing a serious bassline. Being the curious monkey that I am, I had to follow the sound and explore this fabulous playground. It led us onto the terrace, where hypnotic tech house was floating onto the Frankfurt rooftops. Maxology rocked the decks – with their music and love. The husband and wife DJ duo were vibrating the people’s body with their deep sound. It was infectious, and we couldn’t stop dancing! Everyone looked so glamorous and sophisticated, like a scene out of a movie. The evening at the Tree House turned out to be a chic and adventurous experience, with many wonderful surprises, and lots of fun!

After three nights of rest, the next adventure was calling my name. The destination was Zenzakan, where the Infiniti Gate greeted us with a long purple carpet, and a cool white FX, Vettel edition. Inside the dark glam restaurant, many stars and beautiful people were to be seen. Celebs that attended were: Marcus Schenkenberg, Christian Ulmen, Collien Ulmen-Fernandes, Wayne Carpendale, Annemarie Warnkross, Frauke Ludowig, Janin Reinhardt, Rebecca Mir and Barbara Meier, and all were enjoying their evening. I came with my very own star, my man, who happened to be the most handsome one at the event. I was on cloud nine this evening. Mouth-watering sushi and exotic wines were being served all around us, while camera flashes were going off every few seconds. A real 2.4 m Titan the Robot was walking and dancing around the crowd. He came up to me, and at first I was scared of him, so I backed away. The thing was huge! Then he came towards me, tilted his head to the side, and started singing, “Don’t you want me baby…” This melted my heart, and I burst into laughter. What a surreal and super cool experience! Now I can boast that I was romanced by a robot ;-) There was a certain buzzing energy gathering in the room, the lights got dimmer, and out of nowhere, neon glowing iLuminate aliens appeared on the stage! They danced for us, and like magic, disappeared back onto their spaceship! Then, with a loud thunder, we saw someone walk onto the stage. The bass started, and I thought that the speakers would explode from the ceiling. What a sound system! I felt the vibration within my entire body, and it was definitely hitting the right places. A purple light came on, and Paul van Dyk was standing behind the decks, doing what he does best – sending people on a wild journey. It was a night that I shall never forget!

The following evening was Italian night in the city. The fresh breeze brought out a sexy combination of fashion, sport cars and sophisticated Frankfurters. Maserati and Ermenegildo Zegna joined forces to entice us with their style and elegance. The black carpet and flashing cameras were dominating the Goethestrasse, along with the futuristic 450 horse-powered cars. I felt so proud of my Frankfurt. Who knew how glamorous this little city could actually be! As we entered the store, sounds of excited talking and laughter filled my ears. Gildo Zegna and Harald Wester, the CEO of each company, were also there, the pride shown on their faces. The handsome Marcus Schenkenberg made another appearance this evening, along with other well known people. I took my time tasting the different wines, and trying on every single pair of sunglasses in the store. I have to admit that shopping after a few glasses of wine is quite pleasurable – somehow everything seems to magically fit well. Only the next morning did it dawn on me that the sunglasses are actually for men! But never mind, it was a shopping experience that I shall never forget! ;-) I met some lovely people, and had a great time catching up with old friends. This was a truly fabulous event!

Frankfurt only opens up and shows its true beauty to specific people. The thing about Frankfurt is that you will either love it, or hate it. If you love it, that means that the city has chosen to open up to you and show you its beauty. If you hate it, then tough luck, the city will not open up to you. Frankfurt is chic. Frankfurt is real. Frankfurt has charm, beauty and charisma. Frankfurt is unique, and has everything to offer that you can dream of, and more! Frankfurt has love to give, and I can say that I am lucky to live here. Frankfurt, I ❤ You!

Text_Gali+Paul_van_Dyk Text_Gali+Marcus_Schenkenberg

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Everyone makes mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes 2200 1467 Galia Brener

To forgive or not to forgive, that is the question. We have all experienced hurts and unfair blows towards us, that leave us painfully asking ourselves: Why me? What did I do to deserve this from him/her? We can spend weeks thinking about why this happened. We feel confused, sad, and then angry! We swear to never open up to anyone again. We stay at home alone, licking our wounds, protecting ourselves from the world. Never ever again, we say. However, unless they have tried to physically kill you, forgiveness is the only functioning therapy that you can give your heart, mind and soul.

The best reason to forgive is for your own good! Do it firstly for yourself, and not the other person. As soon as you truly forgive, a large stone falls off of your chest, and you feel much lighter, and breath easier. Congratulations, you have released yourself from being your own victim. This doesn’t mean that you have to talk to the person again, but the fact that you let go of the betrayal, means that you moved on. This is very good for your karma, because you release the anger inside of you. Think of it as releasing poison from your body. And yes, you can be egoistic at times, and forgive someone for your own sake, and not theirs.

Of course you must realize that it’s not just about those big life-shattering betrayals. It’s also about those fights with your partner, parents or best friend. Those small arguments count just as much. You must be open enough to be able to forgive the ones you love. Everyone makes mistakes, and most likely, it was not done upon you from an evil heart. Throughout the years, I have come to realize that when someone I love apologizes to me, I must accept the apology and be able to let the anger go. Of course if the offense is not a drastic one, than accepting an apology and forgiving is the right thing to do.

A friend of mine told me a story last week, which fits quite perfectly. Heather and her boyfriend were away on holiday. On their last day, he woke up early, and was fidgeting around in bed. He got up, walked around the room, got back into bed, moved around and around, and got up and down again. Then he turned on the laptop and started watching a movie. Obviously this woke Heather up, and she was extremely tired. They have gotten to bed quite late the night before. All she wanted to do was sleep and rest. Her man complained that he was hungry and tried to hurry Heather to get up and get ready. Of course she got up and was pissed off at him, eyes half shut, tired beyond belief. She was grouchy, and showed it to him. He kept on pushing her to hurry, and she screamed at him to stop it! She was not even fully awake. Again she screamed quite rudely at him to stop. Instantly she felt bad for it. He gave her such a nice holiday. On their way to town for breakfast, she apologized twice for raising her voice at him. No reaction. At breakfast he was distant and silent. Heather thought to herself that instead of this childish cold-treatment, she could have been resting in bed now. They headed to the beach, and still no peace in sight. After two hours, she had enough of this crap, and said to him, “Why can’t you simply let it go? This is our last day here, and I have apologized twice to you already! Your ego is so dominating that you would rather ruin this entire day, instead of forgiving me, letting the crap go, and enjoying yourself as well!” After a few minutes, he turned to her and said that she was right. They kissed, and made up, and had the best day of their entire holiday. He annoyed her, she screamed, she apologized, and a while after he forgave her. Sound familiar?

What usually helps me is this thought: what if I never see this person ever again? What if you had a fight with your partner, he goes to work, has a car crash and dies? You will never ever see him again. Would you ever forgive yourself for parting ways in such anger? You would give anything to hug and kiss him again. Remember this for the rest of your life. A schoolmate of mine fought one morning with her sister, but she never came home from school that day. The woman still carries a hole in her heart larger than the Pacific Ocean. Our loved ones will not always be there with us. So think about it, was a fight that you recently had really worth it?

I am not suggesting to be a doormat, and allow everyone to walk allover you, but try to choose your battles wisely, and see what is really worth arguing about. Life is so damn short, so why make it more complicated for ourselves and loved ones? Live with an open and forgiving heart. Unless the damage is huge beyond repair, try to forgive others. Not only will you heal your own soul, you will also give them another chance to prove themselves, and love you more. I know it’s sometimes hard, but it’s even harder to never see your loved one again, or have the chance to forgive them for their silly error. Be kind and forgive, because everyone makes mistakes, including you.

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It’s all about the timing!

It’s all about the timing! 1354 437 Galia Brener

Have you ever wondered why some girls meet a new guy, and everything works out quite quickly? In a matter of months they get engaged and start a wonderful life together. Well, it’s not just about getting lucky; it’s about meeting a man in his right time. I call it the “window” because every man has his window, or time frame when he meets a woman and is willing to get married and start a family. So girls, keep your eyes open for a good man who has an open window for you!

This reminds me of a situation with a friend’s cousin. He was dating a great girl for over 6 years. She was waiting for the moment when he asks her to marry him, but unfortunately it did not come. He was even mean enough to ask her to loose weight. When I heard this story, this made me so angry! But she complied with his request, and looked even more beautiful after. Of course after everything, she continued to wait and wait. One summer day he was invited to go out with his buddies, and he met a woman. He was fascinated by her, and couldn’t stay away from this woman for more than a day! He was very mesmerized by her character and values. He broke up with his girlfriend and moved in with this new woman within a month! 6 months later he asked her to marry him. Now they live in a nice house, happier than ever. His ex was devastatingly heartbroken. I asked him why he didn’t marry his ex? He said that he was not ready. And after half a year, he was ready to marry this new girl. He said something changed within this year, and he felt that he was ready. Granted, the new girl was different. She was independent and very unique, and she met him at the right time. She caught him when his window was open.

Lately I find myself asking, where is the fairness in this? One woman wastes years and years on a man, and the other meets a man and gets married within months. But now I realized that it’s not about the luck, it’s all about the timing! I for example, would not find it possible to date someone for 5 years without knowing that it would lead somewhere. This is simply a waste of time, and girls we know, we are not getting younger. So why waste your time with a man that doesn’t plan a future with you? Sure, there are rare cases when you date a man forever and suddenly he decides to make a true commitment and get married. But unfortunately I hear of more cases where nothing happens after years, and eventually the couples break up, like the story of my friend’s cousin.

My advice would be to talk about this earlier on in the relationship. Open communication is extremely important. It’s crucial to say what you want, without being scared to lose your partner. After a year, you should be able to tell your man where you see this relationship going. A friend of mine told her boyfriend of a year that she is not the kind of girl that can date someone for years and years without a true commitment. She let him know earlier on what she expects from their partnership. After a half a year he asked her to marry him, because he knew that she would not waste her time. He knew that if he wanted her in his life, he would have to make the next step, and so he did! He did not feel pressured, he was simply ready for this next step, and he did it.

Ladies, please do not fear to lose your man. Be brave enough to tell him what you want. And realistically speaking, if he truly loves you, he will want to spend the rest of his life with you. If he respects you, he will not make you wait for 7 years before giving you a ring. But sometimes men also need a little push. Not an aggressive demand, but a hint that you can imagine more with him. This also shows him that you are a serious girl. In the worst-case scenario, you are stuck at 40 years of age with a man that you have dated for 7 years without a serious commitment. Why put yourself through this? Of course not everyone wants to get married, but many women do, so why restrict yourself? Your life is in your hands, so why not make the best out of it? What you decide for yourself is how you will live your life, so please choose well!

Ladies I can only say that we must speak up for ourselves. We have the possibility to say what we want, and when we want it. The biggest mistake to make is not to communicate what you want. To sit and wait for years is not a solution. But unfortunately not everyone has the power to speak up. Many are scared if they say what they think, the man will feel pushed and back out of the relationship. But then again, can you afford to date someone for years, and not speak your mind and express your desires? Life is short, and time flies by. So please don’t make this mistake by dragging out a relationship too long, and losing the right time to make the next Step. This is also a test to see how much your man truly loves you. If a man has a strong love for his woman, then he will definitely want to make her the mother of his children. If not, then it will take him ages to marry her, and there is actually no reassurance that he will marry her at all. It’s like playing Russian roulette, so why take the risk? Talk to him, and see where it is all going. Don’t be afraid, if he truly loves you, then he will understand. If not, then be happy to get rid if him. Why give yourself to a man that doesn’t appreciate it? Catch the man at the right time, and start a wonderful life together. You definitely deserve it. If you respect yourself, then so will he. Girls it’s all about the right timing. You do not have to give up your dream of marriage and family. Have faith that you deserve the best, and it will come to you. Never sell yourself for less than you deserve. And don’t forget…keep your eyes open for the right man who has an open window!

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Karma – Return on Investment

Karma – Return on Investment 1354 437 Galia Brener

You have all heard of her. She hides in the shadows and waits for “those people” to pass by. Then suddenly she leaps out and bites them in the ass, with her sharp metal teeth, ripping through their flesh and bones. She has no mercy, and she always locates her “targets”. Her name is Karma, and she never attacks innocent victims. She only hunts for those who deserve it, and she has a bloody long list with names on it.

You have probably asked yourself before, “Why is it that some people do really bad things in their lives, and not get punished for it? So many get away with almost murder, and nothing happens to them!” We have all heard of stories where he cheated on her with her best friend, someone stole money, or another simply came, used and left. Veni Vidi Vici. So what happens to those people? Do they simply continue to live their lives, enjoying their rotten behavior? Or does karma eventually catch up with them, and make them wish that they would rather be buried alive? Well, from all of the stories that I have heard in the past, most of these leeches eventually get what they deserve. One day, they are confronted by the devil and he says, “God is busy right now, but may I help you?” They say… yes.

The incredible thing about this Karma Lady is that she doesn’t miss anyone. She knows exactly when and where. So if those suckers that cause misery and pain to others think that they can get away with their actions, they have a big surprise waiting for them. If you’ve been hurt by someone, do not plan a revenge. Sit back and let karma do her work. She gets paid quite well for it! Besides, you don’t want to get your hands dirty in the process. If you strike back, then you are also doing something vicious, and you might be her next victim. So don’t go down to this dirty level. Stay clean, and be a child of light – and believe me, you will get rewarded for it.

My friend Jilli is the best example for this. Last year she was dating a man that she loved. She though that he could be the one! She invested much time and effort in the relationship. Everything was going well, or so she thought. From one day to the other, he simply became colder and distant to her. She didn’t know what she did to deserve this cold treatment from him. Everything was so amazing in the beginning, and of course like many women, she blamed herself for maybe doing something wrong to deserve this. The more she tried to communicate with him, and be sweeter to him, the more distant he became. Until one evening, she got the shock of her life. As her boyfriend was in the shower, he got a text message from a woman named Sandra. His phone was on the table right beside Jilli, and she saw the entire message without opening his phone. It said, “Darling, when are you coming over? I love you so much, and can’t wait until you move in!” Jilli felt like she was just shot in her chest. The life was sucked out of her body, and she couldn’t breathe, she felt like she was suffocating. The idiot came out of the shower, and saw Jilli fighting for air. He helped her, but his eyes and touch were those from a hating enemy. She did not recognize this stranger in front of her anymore. But she didn’t know that he hated himself for doing this, and not her.

It turned out that he has been cheating on her for quite a while now. He met Sandra on an evening night out with the boys at the Friedberger Markt. Jilli was broken into a million pieces. Her pain was deeper than flesh wounds. “Why me?” she asked herself. She is such a warm, loving, good-hearted person. Why did this happen to her? She said that karma and life is not fair, and only the good ones suffer. I calmed her down over and over again for months, and assured her that everything will be set right, and that karma will take care of what needs to be done! To make a very sad and long story short, her moron of an ex moved in with Sandra. After a few months, he did something terribly illegal, and lost his entire company. He went bankrupt, and lost everything. And the cherry on top of the Ice Cream was that Sandra left him a few weeks after he lost all of his money!

Half a year later, Jilli met her soul mate, Leo, and finally found her true love. He was the man that her ex could never have been. They moved in together, and are now happier than ever. A few weeks ago, her ex contacted her, and asked to meet her. She said that she had no interest in seeing him ever again. He said that he still loves her, and wants to get back together with her. She told him to go to hell, where he belongs. Last week Jilli and I were having dinner, and she reminded me about what I told her. Just as I said, Karma jumped in to do her work. Jilli was doing better than ever, and the rotten ex boyfriend was paying big time for his evil actions. He was broke, sick and looking worse than ever. Poor man, he sold his soul a long time ago.

Karma is a very fair player. She never cheats. Good deeds will bring good rewards. Evil deeds will bring misery, pain and suffering. If you make an investment, then of course you expect it to be a good one, and get the best return on it. This applies to stocks and real estate, but it’s also the rule of life. There is no action without reaction. That’s the law of the universe. At the end of the day, it is all up to you. You want to live a good, happy, fun and healthy life? Then treat yourself and others accordingly. Be fair, kind, caring and loving. Be good boys and girls, or else karma will come hunting for you next… and she will attack, and you don’t want that ;-)

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